Buying His Bride (The Donovan Brothers Trilogy Book 1) (19 page)

“Well, your instincts are wrong,” Sierra said. Her tone was flat.

How she wished Lydia were right. That Michael cared for her beyond the terms of their contract. That he might share a fraction of the feelings she felt for him. But even then, she knew that her problems wouldn’t be solved. She was simply too afraid to take a risk, to trust herself or Michael. She’d botched the whole situation.

“I don’t think so,” Lydia said. “I’ve been there, after all. I see the expression on your face when you talk about him. You’re not just attracted to him. You’re in love with him.” She paused. “What’s more, he’s a fool if he doesn’t recognize that for the gift it is, take it, and run. His mother notwithstanding.”

Sierra fought back tears. “I wish it were as simple as that.”

She heard a step in the hallway and turned to find Michael, bearing a suit bag and briefcase, standing in the doorway of the living room. His face was bland.

“Well, what interesting things one overhears when one comes home a night early.”

Chapter Twelve

For an endless moment Sierra froze. “What are you doing here?”

He looked tired and a little worse for wear, but as usual, nothing could mar his dark good looks.

“I caught an earlier flight from Paris.” He set down his bags and came into the living room.

No kiss for the benefit of their guest. No display of happiness at being reunited after two weeks, even for the sake of appearances.

“How long have you been standing there?” Sierra wondered how much he had overheard of their conversation.

Michael ignored her question. “Hello, Lydia.” He raised a brow. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

The other woman stood to leave. “I was just paying a friendly visit, that’s all.” Her tone was light. “Sierra and I were getting to know each other, but since you’ve come back, I won’t stay. You two must want your privacy.” She put on her jacket and, after a second’s hesitation, gave Sierra an unexpected hug goodbye. “I didn’t expect to like you,” she whispered in her ear. “But somehow I do.” Then, turning to Michael as she picked up her purse, she said, “You and I have known each other a long time, haven’t we?”

He nodded.

“I’m going to take advantage of the privilege of old friends and be frank.”

He said nothing. Neither did Sierra.

“You’re both fools if you believe that all you have between you is a contract marriage. Yes, she told me, as I have no doubt you overheard. If you both want to go ahead and stay in denial, that’s on you. But instead of wasting time dancing around the obvious, why don’t you have a talk like two grownups and clear the air?”

Michael’s gaze shifted to Sierra who stared back at him.

Neither noticed Lydia’s departure.

“Why didn’t you call or text me to let me know you were coming home early?” It was the only thing Sierra could think to say.

“Disappointed?”

“Of course not. I just would have neatened up around here a little if I’d known.” She winced. The penthouse was immaculate. She grasped at straws. “How was your trip?”

“Fine.”

That was a non-starter.

God, it was good to see him. She wanted to burst into tears, and she didn’t know if it was because of the stress of her conversation with Lydia, the two weeks that had gone by without laying eyes on him, or the tension she felt at Lydia’s parting words.

“How have you been since I’ve been gone?” Michael studied her.

Sierra swallowed her disappointment at the mundane question, though hers had been little better. If that’s how he wanted to play it, then fine.

“Okay.” She aimed for casual. “Busy. You know. With work and the pub.” If he’d wanted to find out, he could have contacted her. But he hadn’t. Not once.

“If anything, you look more stressed and tired than when I left.”

“Thank you!” she snapped. “You don’t look so great yourself.”

“As usual, we’re getting off to a great conversational start,” Michael’s tone was a little bitter. “Tell you what. Let’s talk about what Lydia said just now.” He paused. “Why don’t we begin with Grant Townsend?”

Sierra’s heart sank and she fought off a wave of panic. He
had
overheard that part. They were about to have the conversation she’d worked hard to avoid for several months. She wasn’t ready.

She swallowed hard. She was worn out by her own fear and angry with both herself and Grant for making her a prisoner of that fear. Maybe she should just tell Michael the truth now and get it over with. Let the chips fall where they may. No matter what happened, it couldn’t be worse than living in perpetual dread.

Lydia had believed her word over Grant’s. Maybe there was a small chance Michael would too.

Even if he didn’t, Sierra was sick to death of feeling immobilized by her own anxiety. It was no way for a grown woman to live.

Michael watched her. “It’s fight or flight time, Sierra. Which are you going to chose?”

Somewhere in the penthouse a clock ticked.

“All right,” she said with difficulty. “I’ll tell you about Grant.” She had to break through her dread of the past. If Lydia was right and there were something real and lasting between her and Michael, then she had to take a chance.

Michael pressed further. “If you were willing to tell Lydia about him, why weren’t you willing to discuss him with me?”

Was that hurt she heard in his voice? Sierra took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to steady her nerves. “We’ve never talked about our pasts. Grant and his son were an episode in my life I don’t like to revisit.”

“Obviously. Why?”

“Oh, come on. You overheard what I told Lydia. What do you expect? William was my first boyfriend. I thought he cared about me and that’s why he helped me. But no. He just did it to get me in bed. His father thought I’d sleep with him, too. It was humiliating, and I was a naïve idiot.”

“That’s it? You were afraid I’d think you’d been naïve? What’s so awful about that? You were young. These kinds of things happen.”

She shook her head. “No, that’s not all. In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m a first-class, grade-A emotional mess! At our wedding reception Grant threatened me. He said he’d tell you I was an opportunistic tramp and use it to smear your own family’s name. He’s a big-time businessman now with lots of San Francisco connections. He ruined my reputation at his company.” Her voice shook. “Given why you hired me, I figured it wouldn’t suit the image of the wife you wanted. Or that your family wanted for you. For all I knew, you might consider it grounds for annulling our arrangement. I’d already accepted a large sum of money from you. I could never afford to pay you back if that happened.”

“So you thought I might renege on our agreement? You don’t have a very high opinion of me.” He didn’t sound angry. He sounded tired. Very tired.

“Well, I didn’t know, did I?” Sierra tried to steady her voice. “You probably would have been within your legal grounds to do so.”

Michael sighed. “Think back to our first meeting. I’d made it clear then I’d run background reports on the candidates for this damned bride position. Don’t you think the Townsend issue would have come up if it had mattered? The incident was so insignificant it didn’t even make it into the report. You’ve been living in fear this whole time over something that probably was no more than a piece of local office gossip.”

Stung, she struck out. “It might seem like nothing to you in your world, but how was I to know that, given my own lack of experience? I never traveled in your world until several months ago. William and Grant did a lot of damage to me in mine, and I didn’t want them to do the same to yours.”

Michael’s gaze softened. “I know they did. I realize that now. I just wish you’d felt you could have told me.”

Again that pained note in his voice.

He sighed again. “I’d hoped eventually you’d feel comfortable confiding in me about your past a little, that’s all. But you didn’t.” He shrugged and paced the room. “Furthermore, Townsend has an unsavory personal reputation around these parts. He doesn’t have the power to do the kind of damage to me or my family that he did to you.” Michael spoke not with arrogance but with utter self-confidence. “I’d never let him harm my family. Or you.”

A sense of relief replaced Sierra’s dread. “Then you don’t believe the things he said? That I’m like Carol? That I sleep around for personal gain?”

“You thought I might? Sierra, why the hell didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“I told you. I was afraid.” She didn’t look at him.

“Of what?” he asked, frustration lacing his voice.

“Of what you might think of me. Personally. Let’s face it; I did marry you for your money.”

“Why would you care about what I thought of you?”

She snuck a quick look. He was still, watchful.

“Why, Sierra? You’ve made it clear we have nothing more than a contract that keeps us together. You’ve been looking forward to the end of it.”

“I am. I was. That is…” A silence fell.

“You know, I did overhear the tail end of your conversation with Lydia. What I heard interested me very much.”

She stared at him.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why?”

She nodded.

“Lydia told you she felt there was more between us than business.”

“Yes.” It was difficult to read Michael’s expression.

“The way I figure it, it doesn’t matter what Lydia feels.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“What does matter, Sierra?”

It was now or never.

She took her courage in her hands. “It matters what you and I feel.” She swallowed hard. “Trust matters.”

“So can we agree that there’s more than just business between us?” He looked at her. “There’s desire, for instance.”

Was that all? Sierra smothered her hurt and turned away. For a second she had dared to hope Michael felt something more for her. Lydia had known him a long time, but it didn’t mean the woman knew what was in his heart or mind.

“We agreed to ignore that,” she said.

All at once he was angry, turning her to face him again. “No, Sierra. We didn’t. That was your brilliant idea, not mine, and it seems to me it was a damn poor one. Sex, at least, was one level on which we connected. But you didn’t even want that.”

She hadn’t wanted it? She’d ached for it. Could he really be that obtuse? “That’s because it wasn’t part of our bargain. Sex just complicated things.”

“Forget the damn bargain for one minute!” He raked a hand through his hair. “Tell me how it complicated things because I’m not seeing it.”

She lost her temper and with it all thought of her pride. “Because I got emotionally involved with you, okay? Sue me!” She willed back tears. “And I’m really scared right now, so just cut me some slack.” She shook her head. “We never should have made this bargain in the first place.”

Silence fell, and when she looked at him there was a glint in his eyes. He took a step toward her, and Sierra realized only then that he was nervous. The slight twitch at his temple gave him away. In a low voice he asked, “What are you scared of? Sometimes, if we’re really lucky, we actually get more than we bargain for.”

She hardly dared hope the emotion in his voice was real. “Such as?” she whispered.

He yanked her into his arms and kissed her with a depth of feeling she’d never known from him, and her heart pounded with hope. “Sierra,” he groaned, holding her in his arms. “Which one of us is going to say it first? What we feel for each other has gone unspoken long enough.”

Feeling giddy, she looked into his face and saw what she’d wanted to see for months. The same feeling she had for him. She needed to be the one to say it first. Her fear had held her prisoner long enough. Taking a deep break, she said, “I love you. I love you so much it scares me to death.”

“Thank God, because I think I’ve loved you since the day I splashed water on you.” He traced a string of sweet kisses along her jaw line until he arrived at her lips, covering them once again.

She pulled back. “You did not! You’re rewriting history.”

He laughed but stuck to his guns and drew her to the couch in front of the fire. “Nope,” he said. “I’d never met anyone like you before. You were startled by the proposition I put before you, but once you were convinced I was serious, you gave it your professional consideration. You had guts and courage, and I admired you.”

She shook her head. “I’m not brave at all. I’ve let fears of emotional involvement and the past hold me back too long.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “I’d say you made major strides tonight.”

“And of course I considered the bargain.” Sierra settled in his arms. “I wasn’t exactly in a financial position to do otherwise, now, was I?”

He laughed. “Do you know how many women I know who would have tried to drive a higher bargain with me than you, given my wealth?”

She gave him a sharp jab in the ribs. “That speaks poorly of the woman you chose to know, not women in general. You should have made an effort to get to know ones who cared more about you than your social position or money.”

He shrugged, at once accepting the accuracy of her words and elaborating. “True. But as Rafe and Gabe both knew, I wasn’t in the market for a long-term relationship. Thank God I met you.”

She snuggled against him. “Can I ask you now about Carol?”

“You could always have asked me about her. Why do you think she’s an off-limits topic?”

“Jen filled me in on some of the old gossip about your mother. She said it was well-known around town that you weren’t about to get saddled with the same kind of wife as your father did.”

“No, I wasn’t. But the more I thought about it and the better I got to know you, I realized I let Connor’s first choice of wife influence me too much. Rafe and Gabe’s mother was wonderful.” His arm tightened about her. “You should have given me more credit for being able to read people’s characters. You’re the furthest thing from my mother than I can imagine.”

Sierra was silent for a moment. “But I did marry you for your money.”

He snorted. “Do you
love
me for my money?”

She sat bolt upright. “How can you ask that? We had a deal, a business arrangement! It wasn’t exploitation.”