By Way of the Rose (33 page)

“That's not for me to say.”

“You don't want to kiss me?”

“Like I said, I have to be going now. Good evening, Miss.” He got into his wagon quickly and drove away.

Trissy was flush with anger as she picked up the first thing she saw and threw it hard against the wall. The horseshoe hit with a loud clattering thud. She would have him, she would! She would win him away from that blasted Sarah DuVal!

Everyone had gone home from gleaning the cotton fields but Sarah. She thought she would stay and get as much picked as possible. A sudden noise behind her alerted her to danger, but too late. Before she could react or defend herself, someone kicked her legs out from under her. She fell to the ground with a thud. She turned, shocked and bewildered to see Nathan staring down at her. The look in his eyes scared Sarah. She had never seen such a look of hate before!

“W— why did you do that?” She scuttled backwards but Nathan stepped closer and kicked her. Fear engulfed her. She knew this attack was different. The look in his eyes made her blood run cold. She felt that she was about to die and she didn't even know why. “W— what's wrong?” She spoke in short gasps.

“You! You are what's wrong with everything! If it hadn't been for you, John would have been a better brother to me!” He kicked her again and again as he shouted in anger. “If it hadn't been for you, he would still be here, you killed him! He was just fine till he carried you up there!”

Sarah could barely catch her breath between the fierce blows as she cried. “No Nathan... no! Please stop it! You can't be this hateful! Nathan, Nathan!”

He reached down and grabbed her by the hair. “Don't call for me, wench!” He hissed through his yellowed teeth. His breath smelled of stale liquor. “Scream out for John to help you! Go ahead. Scream for him!”

She was too terrified to say anything.

“I said scream for John you squaw bitch!” He shook her by her hair.

“J— John.” She stuttered in a whisper. She couldn't say it any louder. Fear had taken her voice.

“Scream for him, he'll come for you!” Nathan shouted as he shook her harder. “You can bring him back! You can make him come back! He'll come for you! Call him! Call him!”

“John, oh please John, help me! John, John, John!” The cries ripped from her throat and echoed through the empty fields.

Nathan looked around. “I don't see him! Maybe he
is
dead... and maybe you need to join him!” He snarled.

“No.” She cried. “Please stop it, Nathan! You don't know what you're doing!”

Nathan smirked. “I know exactly what I'm doing, you good for nothing savage! I can't think of a thing you're good for! Except maybe this.” He shoved her to the ground between the rows of cotton stalks. She smelled his stench as his heavy body weighed her down. He tore at her like a rabid animal.

“No Nathan! You can't do this... you can't do this evil! Stop! Please stop! she slapped at him, clawing at his face, but he grabbed her throat.

“Scream Injun witch, scream! Call John! Let me hear it! Where is he, Injun? What have you done with him?” His eyes were wild and his strength deadly. Blood ran down his face from her deep claw marks.

Sarah could hardly breathe; she felt herself slipping away. “John... help me!” She whimpered before everything faded into darkness.

When Sarah finally opened her eyes she found herself still lying in the cotton field. It hadn't been a horrible nightmare, it was true. Nathan had barbarically violated her, Tearing from her the cherished sanctity that she had protected and held in such reverence. Now she was ruined and left in the dusty field for dead. Pain overwhelmed her. Every part of her body ached. She rolled over. “Oh, God.” She cried out as she sat up. The pain made her whole body tremble. It took all of her effort just to move. Her legs hurt. Her ribs hurt. Her back and shoulders hurt and most of all, her heart hurt.

Her unsteady legs shook as she wandered through the woods aimlessly with tear clouded eyes. Somehow she came out at the stream, her sanctuary. Her place of healing and comfort. She bent down at the water's edge. She had to do something, she couldn't go home like this! “How can I fix this?” She cried. “How can I fix this?” She combed through her hair with trembling hands before she stepped into the water and began scrubbing away the dirt from the field. She noticed her ripped undergarments. “They're ruined... everything's ruined! I'm ruined! Why! Why! Why!” She screamed as she pounded the water with her fists. “Everything is ruined! Everything!” She pulled herself up out of the water and collapsed on the bank crying. “Why? Why? John, I can't... I can't do this! It's too hard without you! You said you'd never leave me again! But you left me, you left me to this! You liar! John, you are a liar! Oh God, will someone please help me!”

She jumped like a wounded animal when she felt a strong pair of arms lift her from the ground. It was Shane. She saw the worry in his face and grabbed him by his shoulders. She rested her head on his chest. His strong, broad chest. “Shane! Oh, dear Shane! Thank God it's you!”

“I'm here, my sweet, Sarah. I'm right here. What's happened to you?”

“Help me... I can't live without him, Shane! I can't! Life is too hard!”

“John again?”

“He can't help me... there's no one to help me now!” She sobbed.

“Damn it woman, I'm here! Look at me!” He held her head in his hands. His eyes were on fire. “I'm here! I'll help you! I love you! Why does it always have to be John? Seems as if he's never around when you need him, doesn't it? Yet here I am. Don't ignore me and call for your brother! For the love of God, don't ignore me!”

Sarah looked into his face. He was right, John was never there and she wanted Shane to hold her close. She felt so safe in his arms. “Hold me, just hold me!” She buried her face in his broad shoulders. She felt his arms wrap around her creating a cradle for her to rest in. “Oh Shane, I need you so, I need you! You won't ever leave me, will you?”

“Never, you have my word.”

“You'll take me away from this! You'll keep me safe. Won't you?”

“'Til the day I die.”

“I love you, Shane. I really do love you. I've loved you for so long!”

Tears filled his eyes. “I can't believe this is happening... that you love me, too. I pray it's not a dream! No, it can't be a dream... I can tell... it's true!”

Sarah rested her head on his strong shoulder as he carried her. When they neared the house she looked at him. “I— I think I can walk from here. Don't tell what I did. I don't want Momma and poppa to know.”

“They're overworking you! Maybe they need to know so they will stop it. You're one person Sarah and you can only do so much.”

When Shane walked in supporting Sarah, Marion turned from her cooking pot.

“What on earth is wrong now?”

“I'm just tired Momma. I stayed in the field too long.”

“Well, go up to your room and rest for a while.” Marion turned back to her cooking. “Maybe you'll be better by supper and can help me set the table.”

“I— I will,” Sarah weakly replied. Shane helped her toward the stairs and turned to leave. She grabbed at him. “Don't leave me just yet. Let's just sit in the parlor while I rest.”

Shane sat on the sofa beside Sarah. She took his hand and held to it so tight that he stared at her in puzzlement. “Does this mean that we're officially courting?” He smiled and squeezed her hand.

“Yes, Shane, if you still think I'm worth courting.”

“Worth it?” He sat forward and looked into her face in astonishment. “You know how I've always felt about you!” His deep blue eyes had never looked more handsome and loving to her.

“I love you, I love you so much. I need you to take care of me! I need to be cared for right now. You're always there when I need you, Shane. Always! Thank you for being my friend and for loving me through everything.”

“I'll be right here.” He smoothed her hair back. “I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me.”

Marion walked in, “Sarah, come on and help me get supper on the table now.”

“I'm still a little tired. I think I'll go up to bed now, if you don't mind.”

“Well. I guess I'll have to manage,” Marion huffed as she left the room.

“I know she's upset with me, but I'm just wiped out today and I just don't care who's mad at me anymore!”

“It's about time you started thinking of yourself. I'm glad to see it! My girl ain't gonna be working her fingers to the bone no more! I'll see to that!” He smiled. “Well you go on up now and I'll see you tomorrow.” He awkwardly kissed her cheek before he stood.

As he left Marion turned to him and asked, “Would you like to stay to supper?”

“Oh no, thank you. I have some work to do around my place. I'm figuring I'm going to be having a wife pretty soon and she needs a home to come to.”

“Really? Anyone I know?” Marion smiled brightly.

“If all goes well, you'll know soon enough.” He tipped his hat to her. “Good day.”

“Good day,
Mr.
Thompson.”

That night a powerful and frightening thunderstorm erupted over the valley. A torrential downpour gushed over the hills, swelling the mountain streams over their banks until a mighty river swept through the valley like a raging sea, tearing its way downward, taking with it anything in its path. Wind whipped the pines and sent them bending almost to the ground, as if they were paying homage to the angry storm. Brilliant streaks of lightning sliced through the night sky while deafening thunderclaps echoed and rumbled through the storm drenched valley. It was as if the heavens themselves were screaming out in anger as Sarah lay hurting and weeping alone into her pillow.

Daniel rushed into her room. “Come, Sarah, to the cellar! This is dangerous weather! Hurry!”

“You go on, Poppa. I'll be there in a minute.” Her body ached, she couldn't move quickly. She sat up and then weakly stood, like a new calf, and stumbled toward the hall, down the staircase and toward the kitchen. Her steps were slow and faulty. “Hurry, Sarah!” Daniel screamed. She picked up her pace but on the cellar stairs she lost her footing in the darkness and went tumbling to the ground.

“Sarah, Sarah... are you all right?” Daniel bent over her. She put her head down into her hands and cried like a baby.

“Sarah, are you hurt?” Marion grabbed her.

“Yes, I'm hurt!” She cried out. “Everything I've got aches! Oh, Momma, I am so hurt!”

“Come, lie down on the cot. As soon as this storm is over we'll get you upstairs to bed and I'll fix you a cup of chamomile tea.” Sarah meekly stood, shocked to see the frantic expression on Marion's face and followed her to the cot. Was she, in this moment when Sarah needed it most, really being a mother to her? Was she actually reaching out and caring for her? The pain seemed to loosen its bitter grip on Sarah's heart in the warmth of loving emotions that swept over her. She had a mother and, for the first time, it felt like it.

The next morning the sun was brightly shining through her window, proving that the world had gone on; Sarah knew she would too. Her strength would return even though she was sore and aching now. Nathan could rend her body but he could not have her soul. She would never allow it. She would love, she would trust and she would go on to spite him!

The fall had given her a reason to rest and allow her body to heal. The bruises had turned dark overnight, but now she had no idea which ones were from Nathan and which from her fall and neither would anyone else.

Thoughts of Shane kept her strong. He would be there. He would be her protector. She did love him. She thought about his sweet face and loving arms picking her wounded body up from the ground. A tear rolled down her cheek as she whispered and gently touched the necklace.
I love you John, but I need to get out of here! If you're alive or dead, I hope you understand this. I'm going to marry Shane and I'm going to love him with all my heart and he's going to love me and keep me safe.

Shane came by later in the day and they went for a long walk together. He put his arm around her and she leaned on him. The walk helped work out the soreness while being with Shane eased the pain in her heart. Why had she waited so long to accept his love? He was right, she
had
been a fool!

The next evening they went for a ride. It became a daily thing. Weeks passed as summer faded into fall. Sarah couldn't wait until the day they'd be married and she would be away from everyone. Her skin crawled when Nathan came over for visits and she was forced to sit there as if nothing had happened. She thought she would die the first time he came over after his vicious attack on her and Marion fussed over the scratches on her precious son. Where a thorn bush had supposedly whipped across his face while he was riding through the woods. Sarah had to run for Marion's doctoring supplies and watch her dabble and coo over his injuries. Sarah became so ill that she had to excuse herself and run to the outhouse to throw up. Marion assumed she was upset over his painful wounds. Sarah had to pour him water, serve him food, help feed his brats and smile while she did it even though she wanted to scratch his eyes out of his head. He was a monster... he was evil! She lived for the day that she and Shane would be married and have their own home. Then she would never, never, never have to tolerate Nathan again, never have to smile in his ugly face again. Never have to wait on him again!

When the news reached the Eastland plantation that Shane and Sarah were indeed a couple, Trissy's anger knew no bounds. So, she began spreading as many nasty rumors as she could about them. But that wasn't enough and no one seemed to truly care. She wanted Shane. Soon she became so depressed that she wouldn't leave her room, she just sat and stewed over the matter.

“What's wrong, my sweet?” William Eastland asked his daughter.

“Nothing, just leave me alone!”

“How can Pa help his little girl if she won't tell Pa what's wrong?”

“I'm in love with someone, but he doesn't love me.”

“Oh, who wouldn't love you, my precious? He must not know how you feel.” He stroked her cheek. “Who is this boy, anyway?”