Cadence (Ruby Riot Book 1) (31 page)

“I can try fucking harder!” snarls Jax and leans in.

When Bryn appears alongside, I'm ready for the ground to swallow me up. “Jax, mate. Leave.”

He looks up at my brother and sways slightly. “The guy was touching your sister. You should be glad I hit him before he really put his hands on her!”

Bryn's expression is that of an amused parent looking at a small child. “Very noble of you, Jax, but out of order. Leave before this becomes worse and you end up with an assault charge.”

Jax glances around the room at the scrutiny of the crowd. “Yeah! Show's over!” he shouts.

I can't take this bullshit. Without speaking to anybody, I storm away, perspiration breaking out at the embarrassment. I am
not
his girl.

“Tegan!” Jax calls after me. I ignore him. “Tegan!”

I can't do this; I can't be a public display in front of whispering, giggling people. I push past open-mouthed Will and Nate, muttering that they should take Jax back to his room, and walk out to the hallway.

The carpeted space is empty, apart from security on either end and a couple sitting on the floor drinking. I pull my phone out to call a cab and turn as Bryn approaches.

“Do you want to go back to my room, Tegan?” he asks.

I shake my head, and my stomach sinks as Jax appears behind him. This Jax is one all too familiar. Flushed face, dilated pupils, unsteady on his feet. The one he’d pushed aside for me.

“Tegan! Don't go! Sorry!” he says and steadies himself on the wall.

“God, you're pathetic!” I snap.

“I couldn't help it, the thought of you and him...”

“I wasn't going to come tonight and I wish I hadn't now!” I pause. “What the hell did you hit him for?”

Jax rubs his knuckles. “He touched you. I saw red.”

“I'm surprised you can see anything! Why do you have to get wasted all the time?”

“Just happens.”

“Yeah, when you choose to.” I drag a hand through my hair. “Bryn, can you see if Julian is all right. He's a big Phoenix fan. You might be able to stop a PR disaster.”

Bryn points. “What about him?”

Him. The drunken mess who can hardly stand up in front of me. Jax is pathetic when he's like this; he needs to get his shit together, or he's going to end up in a worse situation than a minor assault.

“I'll deal with Jax.”

Jax wobbles as he attempts to face Bryn. “This is your fault!”

“What the fuck?” he growls.

“You! You found her the job in the States!”

“Shut up, Jax,” warns Bryn.

Jax turns to me and gestures at Bryn. “Your brother got you the job. He wants you to leave me! He’s the one who’s fucked things up!”

I step back. No. “Bryn?”

Bryn’s mouth thins as he throws a poisonous look at Jax. “I'll be back in five. Don't go anywhere.”

By now, Jax is slumped against the wall, rubbing his knuckles.

What the hell, Bryn?
This had better not be true. I take a deep breath. I’ll deal with one thing at a time. “Tell me why,” I say to Jax.

“Why what?”

“Why you get into this mess. If you keep drinking like this you're going to end up as one huge screw-up.” He mumbles something at his shoes and I dip my head so he has to look at me. “You want to be the new Jem Jones or something?”

He jerks his head up. “No way!”

“Well, he started with drinking and look at how he ended up.”

“I'm nothing like him!”

“Not yet.” Jax pulls a face, like a kid being chastised. I step back. “Fine. Don't listen to me. But you lived the last few years hungry for success, and now you have what you want, are you going to throw everything away?”

“I'm not!”

“You're a rock star, but that doesn't make you immune to the law! What if Julian presses charges? Or you end up doing something stupider next time? The press is breathing down your neck. You lose all rationality when you're drunk, Jax!”

His brow tugs lower and he slips down the wall a little. He doesn't respond. Is some of this getting through to his dulled brain?

For a few minutes, Jax remains silent and mumbles something in the direction of the carpet.

“What? I can't hear you.”

“I love you.”

Oh, sweet Jesus...
“Of course you do.”

Jax looks up, hurt in his drunk eyes. “Don't you believe me?”

“I don't know. You're drunk and you didn’t seem to think that the other day when you told me we were over because I was following what I wanted to do in life!”

“That was you! You said this was too hard!”

“Really, Jax? What part of ‘if you go, we’re over’ was ‘I love you’?”

“I thought you’d calm down and change your mind. Maybe not go.” I cross my arms and don’t respond. “I love you. I want to be with you.” Jax wipes a hand slowly down his face. “And I fucked up.”

“You did. How am I supposed to believe you’re serious about us when you pull stunts like this and try to emotionally blackmail me?”

“I didn’t blackmail you! I thought if I said… fuck, I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Huh. What a surprise.”

He turns his eyes to me again. “I love you. I just didn’t want to be without you. Sorry I was an arsehole.”

Jax reaches an arm out to touch me and I step back. “Do you expect me to forgive you and fall into your arms? You'd probably drop me anyway!”

He giggles. “Yeah, probably. Fuck.” Jax slides to the ground and holds his head in his hands.

Does he mean his words? I look down at Jax, the man I love too, who's on the edge of a destructive life. He has talent - amazing talent - and he's becoming lost in a lifestyle that doesn't suit him. He's caring and loving. I've seen how he looked after Ruby, how he helped me. When Jax drinks, he's a different person. Violence is new, and a step in a darker direction. My heart hurts. I want to stop him, but can he stop himself?

“I'll find somebody to take you up to your room. I think your night's over.”

He doesn't respond, and drags his hands into his hair. “I fucked up. I didn't touch any more girls ‘cause of you. Never. Never want to. But you want to leave me. I’m not enough for you.”

In an amusing spectacle, Jax drags himself to his feet and stumbles. This man is a cliché drunk as he steadies himself on the wall.

“I was always honest,” he slurs. “Always. Never lied to you. I love you. So much. Like, a fucking lot.”

Bryn reappears and shakes his head at Jax. “Man, you need to sort yourself out.” Jax slips again and Bryn catches him before he crashes to the carpet. “It's always me picking up the pieces, isn't it?” he grumbles, hoisting Jax upright.

“I love her, Bryn,” he says pointing in my general direction. “I fucking love her! And you’re taking her away from me!”

“I'm sure you do. Where's your keycard?” Bryn asks.

“I love you, Tegan!” he shouts, this time catching the attention of people around. “I’ll go in there and tell the fucking world!”

“Shh!” I hiss.

Bryn pulls Jax in the direction of the elevators and I bow my head before slinking back into the party.

Since the day we split, I’ve wanted Jax to call and say he loves me, to accept we can be apart, and tell me we could work. Not anymore. With one punch, he’s confirmed exactly why this has to be over. Jax’s reaction to seeing me with another man smacks of somebody who’s further out of control than I realised.

I’m not signing up for this.

I refuse to let Jax spoil my night and I head back to the party. The exchange between Jax and Bryn niggles. If Jax is telling the truth about my job offer and Bryn’s interference is responsible for any of this, he’s gone too far. Way too far.

Chapter Forty-Three

TEGAN

When did life become so hard? Oh yeah, when I became involved with a rock star. One who’s competing with my brother in the ‘control Tegan’ stakes. Add to this he’s shown he’s a possessive idiot who's going to punch every man I go near and I need space. A lot of space.

I meant what I said. I'm not having a relationship with a guy throwing himself readily into destruction. Look at last night's performance. How can I be with somebody who threatens themselves or others? Who expects me to mould my life around his?

This situation with Jax has gone on long enough.

I’m furious, can’t bring myself to talk to Jax in case he acts out again. I’ll leave him to his rock star life and resume mine.

Bryn. What the hell did Jax mean he arranged the job? I’m considering going to New York, but if I only got the job because Bryn organised it, no way. I refuse to be the girl given the position because of her connections, and I’m willing to bet splitting me and Jax underlies Bryn’s motives. So I’m doubly pissed off this job offer is part of the reason things unravelled between Jax and me.

I sit at Bryn’s kitchen counter and drink strong coffee while I consider his interference. Each time I hear a noise in the house, I ready myself for a confrontation. This puts me in an impossible position. If I go to the States, I’m indicating to Bryn that he’s allowed to run my life. And if I stay in London, I’m suggesting to Jax I want to stay and fix things. My third alternative is to leave the country and return to travel. The problem is, if I choose to do that, I need to wait until the Ruby Riot campaign is done next month. If I ditch the project before it’s complete, I’ve let myself down. I’ll stay until April and make my decision at that point.

My
decision. What
I
want. Screw anybody else.

Quiet footsteps head along the hallway, toward the kitchen and I tense, gripping my cup. Avery appears in the doorway, her small figure wrapped in a dark winter coat and long, brown hair falls across her shoulders.

“Oh, hey, Tegan.”

I return the greeting and watch as she pours herself a coffee too.

She smiles warmly. “Are you okay after last night?”

“Yeah. Is my brother awake?”

She purses her lips at my terse response. “He is…”

“Sorry. He has questions to answer. How are you?”

“I’m good. Heading to uni in a few minutes.”

Uni. How can she be a rock star’s girlfriend and go to university? Is she going to give up her ambitions for Bryn? “Right.”

Conversation stalls as I return to my moping and wait. When Bryn appears in the doorway, my adrenaline has built ready to take him on. His hair hangs in his face and he’s barefoot and bare chested. Before I have a chance to speak, he has Avery in his arms, kissing her. Jesus, didn’t they only see each other five minutes ago? I’m definitely moving out.

Avery murmurs something to Bryn, and I stand to face him. “Hey,” he says and offers me a smile. “How are you?”

“Don’t ‘hey’ me. Was what Jax said true?”

“Jax. Idiot.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Which part of what he said? The guy wasn’t very coherent.”

“Don’t act innocent! Did you find me the job in the States?”

“No. You’re good at what you do. That’s why you were offered the job.”

“If that’s true, why are people better qualified than me passed over?”

I glower at him. Bryn’s looking me straight in the eye, but he’s lying. “All right, I might have had a quiet word with -”

“A quiet word!” I raise my voice. “Just to split me and Jax up?”

We stand off. He may dwarf the other woman in the room, but I’m almost tall enough to look him in the eyes. His expression shifts from neutral to a wary frown.
Yeah, you overstepped the mark.

Avery sits at the counter with her coffee. “What’s this about?”

“He”—I jab a finger at Bryn—“is interfering in my life! Again!”

Bryn sighs and drags a hand through his hair. “I’m not interfering, Tegan. I’m helping.”

“Somebody tell me what’s happening,” presses Avery.

“Why? Don’t you think I’m good enough to achieve what I want on my own merits?”

“I’m just helping out, Tegan. After what happened the other night, with the attack, I thought you might want to move away too. And now this shit with Jax.”

“You should’ve asked me! And I know why you didn’t!”

Avery turns to Bryn. “Is this true?”

“I thought she’d be happy!” Is he genuinely confused here? “You seem really happy since you started working with Riley and Tina.”

“I’ve only worked with them for two weeks! Strange how you take a sudden interest in my career when I’m dating Jax.Then mysteriously decide to help me with an overseas career.”

“Yeah, and look at how Jax reacted when you told him. I want you to see this thing you have going with him won’t work - and before you get hurt!”

“Ohmigod!” I shriek and shove him in the chest. “I told you not to fucking interfere in my life!”

“Don’t swear at me!” he snaps back.

Tears spring, at the idea I may not be as fantastic at my new job as I thought I was, and at his manipulations. I can’t speak; my voice could betray how upset I am.

“Bryn, this was a bad idea.” Avery bites the corner of her lip and looks between us.

“Thank you!” I say and wave my hand with vindication.

“But you’re ambitious and will leave one day, Tegan. He won’t wait for you. I’ve seen all this before. The guys in the band. Broken-hearted girls.”

“Right. You saying you’re going to do that to Avery?” I point at her.

“No! I was never like that and -”

“Why not trust Jax?” I interrupt.

“Oh, come on, Tegan! Look at him. His reputation. He’s another Dylan or Jem in the making.”

“Who have girlfriends now.”

“When they were Jax’s age, they had one a night!”

“Well, I trust him and isn’t that what matters?” I retort.

A loud sigh comes from Avery’s direction. “I’m going to finish getting ready to go out, you two should talk rationally.” She heads out of the kitchen.

The flood of emotion I’ve walled over the last two days spills, and the tears start. In front of my brother. Great.

His eyes widen and he steps forward. “Fuck! Don’t cry!”

I heave in a breath. “Why do you have to treat me like this?”

“Because I want to protect you.”

“Well, you can’t! I might meet a so-called normal guy in New York, and he could rip my heart out. Are you going to chaperone me for the rest of my life?” I swipe away a tear.

“No.”

“Then stay out of my life! I won’t do something just because you want me to!”

“So you’re not going to the States.”

“No!”

“And Jax?”

“I don’t know! You’ve confused everything. We barely had a chance to start and this shit comes up!”

“Jax showed his true colours, though.”

“What? By telling me he loved me?”

Avery reappears. “I think you both need to calm down and talk about this later.”

“Yeah, you tell him what an arsehole he’s being!” I say.

Our referee stands between us; a look Avery throws at Bryn silences him and he mutters something under his breath before turning and stomping out of the room. I’m amused by the fact a girl a foot shorter than Bryn can boss him around. Avery wrinkles her nose. “Wow. Okay.”

“Yeah. Good luck with having
that
in your life!”