Caesar's Messiah: The Roman Conspiracy to Invent Jesus:Flavian Signature Edition (48 page)

Come on; be thou my food, and be thou a fury to these seditious varlets, and a by-word to the world, which is all that is now wanting to complete the calamities of us Jews.

The three passages that make up the puzzle are related to the two passages that precede the
Testimonium
in another way. The first two passages of the short five-passage chapter satirically state the reasons that the Flavians invented Christianity, as well as the fact that by inventing the religion, the Romans were, in effect, taking over the Sicarii movement. Below are these two passages.

1. BUT now Pilate, the procurator of Judea, removed the army from Cesarea to Jerusalem, to take their winter quarters there, in order to abolish the Jewish laws. So he introduced Caesar’s effigies, which were upon the ensigns, and brought them into the city; whereas our law forbids us the very making of images;

on which account the former procurators were wont to make their entry into the city with such ensigns as had not those ornaments. Pilate was the first who brought those images to Jerusalem, and set them up there; which was done without the knowledge of the people, because it was done in the night time;

but as soon as they knew it, they came in multitudes to Cesarea, and interceded with Pilate many days that he would remove the images; and when he would not grant their requests, because it would tend to the injury of Caesar, while yet they persevered in their request, on the sixth day he ordered his soldiers to have their weapons privately, while he came and sat upon his judgment-seat, which seat was so prepared in the open place of the city, that it concealed the army that lay ready to oppress them;

and when the Jews petitioned him again, he gave a signal to the soldiers to encompass them routed, and threatened that their punishment should be no less than immediate death, unless they would leave off disturbing him, and go their ways home.

But they threw themselves upon the ground, and laid their necks bare, and said they would take their death very willingly, rather than the wisdom of their laws should be transgressed; upon which Pilate was deeply affected with their firm resolution to keep their laws inviolable, and presently commanded the images to be carried back from Jerusalem to Cesarea.

2. But Pilate undertook to bring a current of water to Jerusalem, and did it with the sacred money, and derived the origin of the stream from the distance of two hundred furlongs. However, the Jews were not pleased with what had been done about this water; and many ten thousands of the people got together, and made a clamor against him, and insisted that he should leave off that design. Some of them also used reproaches, and abused the man, as crowds of such people usually do.

So he habited a great number of his soldiers in their habit, who carried daggers under their garments, and sent them to a place where they might surround them. So he bid the Jews himself go away; but they boldly began casting reproaches upon him, he gave the soldiers that signal which had been beforehand agreed on;

who laid upon them much greater blows than Pilate had commanded them, and equally punished those that were tumultuous, and those that were not; nor did they spare them in the least: and since the people were unarmed, and were caught by men prepared for what they were about, there were a great number of them slain by this means, and others of them ran away wounded. And thus an end was put to this sedition.
¹⁵⁹

The two passages satirically confirm the entire premise regarding Christianity. The Jews would not worship Roman emperors and were not swayed by violence; therefore, Rome was forced to “become” the Sicarii movement. The satirical description of the Romans becoming Sicarii is described above in the phrase:

So he habited a great number of his soldiers in their habit, who carried daggers under their garments.

The individuals whose “habit” included “daggers under their garments” were, of course, the Sicarii.

And when they had joined to themselves many of the Sicarii, who crowded in among the weaker people (that was the name of such robbers as had under their bosoms swords called Sicae) …
¹⁶⁰

The effect of Christianity is also recorded within the satire. Its effect was to end the rebellion.

And thus an end was put to this sedition.

When determining the strength of a theory it is useful to consider how much “explanatory power” it possesses. The following list demonstrates just how many “puzzles” this interpretation resolves.

This interpretation:

resolves Josephus’ perceived confusion over which religion was “at Rome”

resolves why Paulina, of the cult of Isis, and not Fulvia, the Jew, is the one to rend her garments

resolves why Josephus recorded that the temple of Isis was destroyed, though he was aware that no such destruction had occurred

resolves why the women in the different stories both have husbands named Saturninus who know the emperor Tiberius

resolves why the Decius story and the Fulvia story have the same plot

resolves why a character has the unusual name “Decius Mundus”

resolves why a character has the unusual name “Ide”

resolves the parallel use in the
Testimonium
and the Decius story of the expression “received with pleasure”

resolves the unusual parallels between the wicked Jew in the Fulvia story and the Apostle Paul