California Diaries # 11: Dawn III: Missing (2 page)

un-bore myself.

First I called Maggie again. “Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” I replied.

“What are you doing?”

“Studying. History test tomorrow. First thing.”

“Ugh.”

I think Maggie wanted to get off the phone, but that would have made for a

sad first attempt at un-boring myself, so I just asked point-blank. “How’s your

weight?”

Maggie was in a huge rush to get off the phone. “Fine. I gained two more

pounds.” She actual y sounded proud of herself, which pleased me. I didn’t think

we would have to eat any more meals watching Maggie pick at a carrot shaving

and then announce that she was full.

“Well…”

“Well, I really have to finish studying,” said Maggie. (Very few things can

come between Maggie and her studying.) “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah. See you.”

I put the phone down, then picked it up and called Ducky. “What are you

doing?” I asked him.

“I just finished dinner.”

I looked at my watch. “Now?” It was a quarter to ten.

“Yeah. I thought my brother was coming home, but I guess he isn’t. Not

yet, anyway. So I finally took the pizza out of the oven. I ate all of it except for the two pieces I dropped on the floor. I saved those for Ted.”

I laughed. Ducky didn’t. I thought he sounded a little sad or something.

“Ducky? Is everything okay?”

“Sure.”

I knew it wasn’t. I cast around for what could be wrong. Let’s see. He was

worried about Sunny. He missed his parents. Oh, wait. Alex. He missed Alex or

felt guilty about him or was mad at him. “Is it Alex?” I asked.

Ducky was startled. “What?”

“Is that what you’re upset about?”

“I didn’t say I was upset.”

“I know, but you are.”

Ducky sighed. “I called his mother today. Alex probably isn’t going to come

back to Vista anytime soon.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Why not?”

“He just…isn’t.”

“But why?” I pressed.

“He needs special, um, treatment. For at least a few months. I guess he’ll

be in a hospital or something.”

I didn’t know what to say. I mean, he’s Ducky’s best friend and he tried to

kil himself.”

“Dawn?” said Ducky after a moment. “It’s okay.”

“I know. I know it will be, anyway. But it’s awful right now.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s the worst part?”

Ducky paused for so long that I said, “Is it that you miss him?”

“No.”

“What, then?”

“That I think I could have prevented it from happening.”

“Oh, Ducky. Don’t do that to yourself. Anyway, you kept the worst from

happening,” I pointed out.

“Yeah.” Ducky did not sound convinced.

I changed the subject. “Sunny came over today.”

“You’re kidding. Really?”

“To visit Carol. She fled when I came come.”

“I’m glad she talks to Carol,” said Ducky.

For some reason, tears sprang to my eyes. “Wel …” was al I managed to

say.

“Dawn, just go easy on her.”

When Carol says things like that I want to stick my tongue out at her.

When Ducky says them, I just love him even more.

“Okay,” I replied.

Even later Sunday night 2/7

After I hung up the phone I was going to call Amalia, but the conversation

with Ducky had tired me out. And then the phone rang and it was Amalia. Of

course, when Carol called me to the phone she had to whisper, “Tell your friends

not to call so late.”

I looked at my watch again. It was 10:05. I couldn’t decide whether that

was actually late for a phone call, so I didn’t say anything. I just took the phone

from Carol.

“Hi, it’s Amalia,” said Amalia. “Is it too late to call?”

I considered. “Carol thinks so, but I don’t,” I said finally.

Amalia laughed. Then we talked about school and Brendan and Maggie

and Ducky and even Sunny (a little). Final y I noticed that Carol was standing in

the kitchen doorway, circling her finger at me, which is her embarrassing way of

silently telling me to wind up the call. I made a face, but when we reached a lull in

the conversation, I said, “Amalia, I have to go.” I was going to whisper that Carol

was making me get off the phone, but she was still standing right there. Luckily

Amalia understood.

“Yeah. My dad’s telling me to go too. I’ll see you in school tomorrow.”

Study hall, Monday 2/8

Last night when I got off the phone I didn’t go to sleep. I had created

enough excitement with my phone calls so that I was just a little too keyed up to

fall asleep. I found the newspaper and took it into bed with me. Not that dinky 8-

page paper, but the Palo City weekly paper. I thumbed through it. Headlines ran

by my eyes. Stuff about the school board, potholes, the town’s budget. Yawn,

yawn, yawn.

Then I read the wedding announcements, the birth announcements, and

the police blotter.

And then a headline caught my eye that was so exciting it was responsible

for keeping me up until nearly 3:00. It read: JAX TO PLAY IN NORTH PALO.

Since I didn’t believe this could actually refer to the Jax, I almost turned the page.

But something made me glance at the article anyway, and I nearly began

screaming. I had to read the first paragraph twice to make sure I understood it.

But sure enough, it said that Jax, “the rock phenomenon from Belgium,” was

going to play a concert – a single concert – at a club in North Palo in a few

weeks.

Jax. The real Jax.

The band of my dreams.

The band for which Pierre X is one of the singers.

I know almost nothing about him except that I am in love with him.

I have to get to that concert.

Math class, Monday 2/8

Possible names X could stand for:

Xavier – is that a Belgian name? (Does it have to be a Belgian name?

Maybe Pierre’s family is from some other country.)

Xanadu. Wel , you never know.

Xerxes. This is the dorkiest name in the history of the world, but there just

aren’t that many names that begin with X. I’m desperate. Anyway, maybe Pierre

shortened his name precisely because it is dorky.

X-tremely Adorabl

Monday afternoon 2/8

I almost got caught, which would have been majorly humiliating. Amanda

Janson walked by my desk really s-l-o-w-l-y, and I realized that she had noticed I

was writing in my journal. I guess she just had to see what I was writing about.

(Clearly, Amanda does not yet understand the concept of our journals. Maybe

she will after she’s been at Vista a little longer.)

Anyway. Back to more important things.

I HAVE TO GET A TICKET TO THE CONCERT.

Wednesday 2/10

Reasons I am in love with Pierre:

1. He is so cool when he’s onstage.

2. When he sings, he closes his eyes and you can just tell that he’s lost in

his own world, which must be a wonderful place.

3. I’ve never seen him in person, but I imagine that when he sings he gets

a little bit sweaty. Not drippy sweaty, but just damply sweaty. So you can just

barely smell it, and it isn’t a bad smel , but actually attractive. Like you’d sort of want to lean into him and collapse against his chest.

4. His hair curls at the nape of his neck.

5. When he gives interviews he looks RIGHT INTO the eyes of the

interviewer. (If I were an interviewer, I would melt into a puddle.) And his eyes are

piercing yet gentle. They are sincere eyes.

Thursday 2/11

Jax tickets go on sale on Monday. Numbered bracelets for the tickets will

be given out on Saturday.

I HAVE TO GET A TICKET.

I HAVE TO SEE PIERRE LIVE, IN PERSON.

Later Thursday 2/11

Also, I HAVE to get to North Palo on Saturday so I can stand in that

bracelet line. The bracelet line could be my only ticket to a ticket to seeing Pierre

live.

Hmm. I will have to handle this subject carefully with Dad and Carol. I

don’t think they’re going to want to drive me to North Palo to wait in an endless

line. Of course, they are not going to want me to attend a late-night concert at a

club in North Palo either, but I’ll cross that bridge after I get a ticket. I think I’ll call Maggie.

Thursday night 2/11

Maggie must be the only thirteen-year-old in the entire county who doesn’t

want to go to the Jax concert. It’s really unfortunate, since I know her father

would have provided his limo and driver to take us there.

This was my disappointing conversation with Maggie:

“Hi, it’s me.”

“Hey, Dawn.”

“Hey. So…How many tickets are you going to try to get for Jax?”

“Jax?”

“The group?”

“What group?” Maggie is clueless.

“You know. Pierre. Pierre X?”

“Um…” Not a glimmer of recognition.

“Well. Then I guess you aren’t going to be lining up for a bracelet.”

“No…Should I?”

“I guess not. Not if you don’t know Jax.”

“I really don’t.”

“That’s okay. They’re kind of new.”

After we hung up I had a brainstorm. Call Amalia. Much more sensible. I

should have called her in the first place.

Later Thursday night 2/11

Not only is Amalia going to try to get tickets to Jax, but Isabel wants to go

too, and some friend of Isabel’s boyfriend is taking his van to North Palo first

thing Saturday morning. There’s room for me! Tomorrow at breakfast I’ll ask Dad

if I can go. I’ll try to catch him when he’s real y busy – like feeding Gracie and

reading the newspaper at the same time. When I mention it’s a daytime trip and

Amalia will be along too, I think he’ll say okay.

Homeroom, Friday morning 2/12

It worked! Dad said yes! I can’t wait to tel Amalia the news.

Friday afternoon 2/12

My plans for tomorrow:

1. Set alarm for 5:30. (Have I EVER gotten up at 5:30 on a Saturday?)

2. Hope to be out of bed by 6:00.

3. At 6:45, van will arrive.

4. Bracelets will be given out starting at ten, but we want to be in line

EARLY just in case. This is our ONLY SHOT at tickets.

5. While we’re waiting in line, one or two of us can leave and bring food

back for the others.

MY FINGERS ARE CROSSED.

Friday night 2/12

A close call. A little while ago I was starting to get ready for bed when Dad

knocked on my door.

“Where is it you’re going tomorrow morning?” he asked.

“Um, to North Palo?”

“And this is for a concert?”

“Oh, no. It’s just to see about some tickets,” I said vaguely.

“Dad?” Jeff cal ed from his room. “Can you help me?”

Perfect timing, little brother, I thought. Dad has not come back to my room.

I think he’s forgotten.

Saturday night 2/13

Whoa. What a day.

I managed to get out of the house before anyone else was actual y up. I

got nervous when I heard Gracie cry at five minutes to six, but Carol took her into

bed with her and Dad, and they all went back to sleep. So no one else was up

when I ran outside to get in the van. (I left a really bright and pleasant note on the kitchen table, saying I’d be back by the afternoon.)

Everyone in the van was sleepy but keyed up. Isabel and her friends were

drinking coffee from a thermos. I cannot even pretend to like coffee. So I just

pretended that I was older than thirteen. No one paid attention to Amalia and me,

though. They left us alone in the backseat.

Guess what. We were not the first in line. About forty people were there

ahead of us, camped out along the sidewalk. By ten, HUNDREDS of people were

in the line behind us. Literally HUNDREDS. I was amazed. Amalia and I left our

group a couple of times to buy juice and fruit and we kept bumping into people

we knew. I saw kids I hadn’t seen in years – kids who had lived on my street and

moved away, kids who had transferred from Vista to other schools. I even saw

our old baby-sitter Carl. I’l have to ask Jeff if he remembers Carl.

Anyway, right at ten o’clock, they began giving out bracelets. Amalia and I

looked at the numbers on ours and shrugged.

“Well,” said Amalia.

“Well,” I said.

“We’l keep our fingers crossed.”

We were home by 11:00.

Jeff doesn’t remember Carl.

Later Saturday night 2/13

Waiting, waiting.

I just read in People that Pierre X witnessed a minor car accident in Malibu

last week and he stopped to help the people in the cars. No one was too

seriously hurt, but Pierre waited with them until the paramedics arrived. He

handed out autographs before he left.

Pierre is so kind.

Even later Saturday night 2/13

I wonder if Pierre has a house in Malibu.

Maybe Amalia and I should try to get to Malibu someday. Is Pierre listed

on a star map? (Try to find out.) He probably isn’t, since his main residence is in

London.

Sunday 2/14

VALENTINE’S DAY!!

I can’t believe it. I’ve bee so caught up with Jax and Pierre and tickets that

I actually FORGOT it was Valentine’s Day until I came down to breakfast this

morning and found envelopes and little hearts al over the table. Carol had made

the kitchen look very festive. She even bought presents for everyone. She gave

me silver heart-shaped earrings and red heart-shaped soap. I’ll have to make

some Valentine’s Day cards this afternoon. It’s Gracie’s first Valentine’s Day.

Monday 2/15

Presidents’ Day. No school.

Isabel and friends are driving back to North Palo this afternoon. Amalia