Call It Destiny (21 page)

When she became aware of Jake’s heavy leg tangled with hers she knew why she had a sense of everything being different this morning. She and Jake were together and in love.

„Good morning.“

His lazy, sleep-thickened greeting made Heather stir and turn languidly in his arms until she lay facing him on the narrow makeshift bed.
 

„Good morning,“ she whispered throatily, surveying him with contentment. „Did I remember to tell you last night that I loved you?“ Her eyes reflected her happiness.

Jake’s mouth twisted in his familiar half smile. „You did. But feel free to keep saying it. I like to hear it.“ He stroked her bare shoulder with his palm.

„I love you, Jake.“

He stared at her for a long searching moment and then without a word, leaned over to kiss her softened mouth. She responded happily, her face glowing as he raised his head again. She waited for the answering declaration of love.
 

„Heather, I want you to know that I’ll always take care of you. I’ll make sure you have everything you ever need and I’ll protect you. You’ll have no cause to regret marrying me, honey.“

She laughed warmly up at him, twining her arms around his neck. Her eyes gleamed. „I only hope you’ll never have cause to regret marrying me. But I must warn you that people have occasionally complained about my behavior in the past.“

„But no one’s had occasion to see what a really terrific wife you’re going to be,“ he pointed out, turning onto his back so that she lay across his chest.

„True. No doubt I have undiscovered talents in that field.“

„No doubt.“ Jake twisted his hands into her tousled hair and pulled her close for another brief hard kiss.

„Jake, are you very happy?“ she demanded whimsically.

„I have never been so content in my life. Yes, I’m happy.“ He took the question a little more seriously than she had expected – as if he had to stop and think about it.

„You really think we can manage the Hacienda together?“ she persisted.

„Yes. I think, as you pointed out, there’ll be some trying moments,“ he added dryly, „but I think we can deal with them.“
 

„I feel quite positive about that approach myself this morning,“ she said grinning.

„You think you’re going to be able to get your own way by dragging me off to bed whenever you can’t talk me into something?“
 

„I’ll have fun trying.“

„Umm. So will I.“ Jake hesitated. „We really do have everything going for us, don’t we?“

„A perfect situation,“ she agreed complacently.

„Mutual interests, a combined career, the approval of your family, physical attraction and the ability to function as a team.“
 

„And I love you.“

„I’m glad, Heather. That makes it quite perfect, doesn’t it?“ he asked lightly.

Heather blinked, a sudden wariness marring her happiness. „Not quite.“

Jake looked at her strangely, his hands moving in her hair. „What do you mean, not quite?“

„This – “ she informed him, leaning down to nip his shoulder teasingly „ – is the point where you’re supposed to tell me that you love me. Honestly, Jake. For a
supposedly brilliant businessman, you’re a little slow on the uptake sometimes.“
 

„I’ve had a rough time of it lately,“ he murmured by way of apology.

But the wariness in her was flaring higher. Heather refused to respond to the lightness in his tone. „Jake?“
 

„Hmm?“ He was toying with the curve of her breast where it lay pillowed against his chest.

„Jake, you do still want to marry me, don’t you?“

„Oh, yes, honey. I still want to marry you.“

„Jake,“ she tried again, a cold fear putting the chill on her warm pleasure this morning. „Jake, you’re not just marrying me for all those reasons you listed a minute ago, are you? Do you love me?“

His hands in her hair ceased their rhythmic movement. The gray eyes met hers with clear intent. „Those reasons I listed are all excellent ones for getting married, Heather. We’ve been telling each other that for a month.“
 

„But do you love me?“ she persisted, a raw pain uncurling in the pit of her stomach as she sensed the answer.

„Heather, I’ve told you I’ll give you everything I can. I’ll take care of you.“

„All I want right now is for you to be honest with me.
Do you love me?“
 

He sighed heavily, holding her head with his hands. „Heather, what you and I have going for us is a lot more real, a lot more important than love.“
 

She sucked in her breath. „You don’t love me.“

Jake’s expression darkened. „I want you, I need you and I’ll take care of you.“

„But you don’t love me, do you?“ she cried, belatedly trying to push herself away as the shock of his answer hit home.

Jake caught her shoulders, holding her against him and his startlingly grim gaze burned into hers. „How do you define love, Heather?“
 

„It’s what I feel for you,“ she rasped.

„Really? You’re talking to the man you left standing on the chapel steps with a couple hundred wedding guests and your parents to face alone. Remember?“

„Jake, I didn’t mean… I mean, that has nothing to do with how I feel….“ The words tumbled over each other in awkward fashion as she tried to explain.

„You expect me to believe that a woman in love would pull that scene with the motorcycle?“ Jake asked too politely.

Heather shook her head frantically. „I didn’t know then. All I could think about was finding out that I’d been tricked. I was furious. I felt betrayed. I wanted everyone to know they couldn’t get away with treating me as though I was a stupid female who could be manipulated.“
 

„You were passionately angry. Determined to tell me to go to hell.“

„Well, yes, but I had a right to be furious.“

„Perhaps.“

She stared at him uncomprehendingly. „If you understand, then why are you pushing me like this?“

„You had a right to be angry to a certain extent, although I wasn’t doing anything to you that you hadn’t intended to do to me. I have no doubt you were feeling a lot of intense emotions that morning. But don’t expect me to believe that any of those emotions had anything to do with loving me.“
 

„I didn’t know I was in love with you then! I didn’t realize it until later,“ she protested.
 

„After I’d taken you to bed and dragged a surrender out of you. After I’d shown you how good we are together.“

„That had nothing to do with it,“ she cried, and then felt a wave of confusion. Because it had been the next morning that she had realized the extent of her feelings for Jake Cavender. He saw the unwilling realization in her eyes.

„Sweetheart, don’t be so hard on yourself,“ he placated. „You’re a creature of passion and spirit. You always do things with flair and a bit of drama. It’s natural that after giving yourself to me as completely as you have that you’d tell yourself you must be head over heels in love.“
 

„It’s true!“

„After only forty-eight hours? Honey, you don’t realize what
you’re saying. You’re reacting to the trauma of the past couple of days. After all, we’ve been through quite a lot together. We’ve discovered we’re an explosive combination in bed and we’ve saved each other’s lives. For someone with your basically passionate nature that kind of emotional excitement is bound to be translated into a feeling with a powerful label like love.“
 

She shook her head in horrified understanding. „And you don’t believe in love, do you?“

„I believe in all the things we have going for us. And I believe in your charming passion. And if you want to tell, me and yourself that you’re in love I’m certainly not going to complain. I like hearing the words.“

„But you can’t return them, is that it?“

„Heather, what I feel for you isn’t some vague indefinable emotion like love. It’s not ephemeral and fleeting or something that will blow hot and cold depending on circumstances and my mood. What I feel is solid and real and based on solid, real, definable factors.“
 

„I’m not a balance sheet, for heaven’s sake! Are you saying you find me attractive because everything adds up?“

„Honey, you’re getting emotional again,“ he pointed out gently. „Why don’t you save all that heat and fire for our lovemaking when we can both enjoy it?“

„Don’t you dare speak to me in that patronizing tone of voice!“

„I’m sorry. I honestly don’t mean to upset you,“ he began gently.

„Well, I am upset. I’m furious. I’m hurt and I’m mad and I’m thoroughly disgusted. Let me go, Jake.“

She pushed at his shoulders and he released her, concern on his face as he watched her grope for her damp clothing. He propped himself up on his elbow.

„Heather,“ he began rather sternly, „this really isn’t the time to indulge in one of your passionate little scenes. We’ve got a long walk ahead of us and we’re both going to need our energy. We’re also going to have to cooperate.“

„Don’t worry,“ she gritted as she yanked on the stiff denim jeans. „I’m feeling very cooperative on the subject of getting out of here.“

He eyed her warily. „Are we going to go through this kind of thing every time you don’t get your own way? Haven’t you grown up at all during the past decade?“

She flung on her shirt and glared down at him. „Oh, yes, Jake. I’ve grown up during the past ten years. I think I’m at the height of my maturity, as a matter of fact.“ In her haste to button the shirt, she began on the wrong buttonhole and had to undo everything. The miscalculation infuriated her further. „For the first eighteen years of my life I let my passionate side rule my actions. For the next eleven years I learned to keep that side under control. I ran my life with the realistic, rational, intellectual side of myself. But thanks to you and the events of the past few days both sides are free.“

„I can’t wait to see the result,“ he remarked lightly, still trying to coax her out of her mood with teasing humor.

Heather flung up her head as she shoved the ends of her shirt into her jeans. „Oh, you will, Jake. Don’t worry about that.“

„Does this mean you don’t love me anymore?“ he asked wistfully.
 

„You still think this is some little scene that will blow over, don’t you?“ She reached for her shoes.

„Dealing with you is like dealing with a keg of dynamite.“ Jake sat up, throwing back the blankets. „Interesting but uncertain.“

Heather looked away as he got unself-consciously to his feet and began sorting out his clothing. She was violently aware he was watching her every movement. The knowledge made her feel dismayingly awkward.
 

„No, Jake. I’m not like a keg of dynamite. You’re going to know exactly where you stand with me. No surprises.“

He raised a heavy brow. „Meaning?“

„Meaning that I will be quite happy to set it all out in black and white for you.“ She straightened from tying her left shoe and stood facing him with her hands planted on her hips, fingers splayed wide.

„I think maybe we ought to wait until you’ve had a chance to calm down,“ he suggested.

„Why wait? Nothing’s going to change as far as I’m concerned.“

„No? Aren’t you about to withdraw your declaration of undying love?“ he challenged, voice hardening for the first time. Methodically he fastened the opening of his jeans. As if the project took great attention, he focused on it, not on her.
 

„No.“

That brought his head up sharply, gray eyes coolly narrowed. „No?“

She watched him from proud unflinching eyes. „No. I love you, Jake….“

„Well, in that case I don’t see what all the fuss is about.“

„You will.“

He dropped his hands from the front of the jeans and waited, looking resigned. „Okay, let’s hear the rest of the story.“

„I love you and nothing will change that. Not now. I also love the Hacienda and this land.“ She waved a hand to encompass the high desert valley on which Tucson had been built, as well as the treacherous canyon where they had spent the night. „I agree that we have a lot in common businesswise and we both seem to want a home. I agree, in fact, with all the intellectual and realistic reasons why we belong together. I’m even willing to acknowledge that we might just possibly be able to work together, even if you do own the hotel.“
 

Relief flashed into the gray eyes. „Then what is this all about?“

„Simple. The other side of me, the side you say is dramatic, passionate and given to scenes, won’t be satisfied with a marriage based purely on lots of nice rational reasons. I won’t marry for anything less than love.“
 

Jake’s eyes closed in brief disgusted dismay. „You just said you were in love.“

„I’m not willing to marry until you’re capable of loving me,“ she declared violently.

„Heather, you’re not making any sense. You know damn well I can toss you back down on those cushions and make love to you until you cry out for mercy.“

Heather swallowed with a trace of nervousness. Jake was suddenly on the verge of losing his temper and that, she had learned, was not a comfortable state of affairs.
 

„I won’t fight you,“ she whispered. „I’ll give you anything you want. Except marriage.“

His mouth thinned. „Anything I want?“

„Anything.“

„You don’t know what you’re saying,“ he told her flatly.

„Yes, I do. I’ll give you everything but a wedding.“

He scowled. „You’d move in with me? Take over the responsibilities of helping to run the Hacienda? Entertain our business friends just as though you were my
wife? Sleep with me? Eat with me? Shower with me? Work with me?“
 

„Yes,“ she agreed simply.

Jake’s scowl turned into a full-fledged glare. „You’re crazy. It would never work.“

She shrugged. „I don’t see why not?“

He moved his hand in an angry arc. „Heather, your parents are expecting a wedding. Those two hundred-plus guests you left me stranded with the other day will expect a wedding. Your sisters will expect it. The entire staff of the Hacienda will expect it. No one is going to understand or approve of you carrying on a full-scale affair with me, damn it!“