Callahan's Fate (11 page)

He waited, certain she would hang up or
say something terrible.
 
After a long
pause, she spoke. Her voice sounded as if she choked on tears, but he couldn’t
be sure. “Even though I don’t know what happened, I don’t believe that.
 
I may not have known you very long, but I
think I know you well enough that I can’t imagine any way you would be
responsible.”

Raine
meant to
comfort, and on some level, her words salved some of the hurt.
 
But they broke his resolve, too, and he
swallowed a sob. “Then you don’t know me as well as you think,
Raine
.”

“Callahan, you’re upset, and now I’m
worried.
 
Talk to me, tell me what
happened.
 
It will help to get it out.”

She might as well ask him to scale the
Statue of Liberty and stand on top of the torch. “I can’t,” he told her. “I
don’t even want to think about it.”

“You need to so you can deal with it and
put it behind you, honey.”

The truth of it loomed large, but he
didn’t think he could. “Maybe you’re right but not now.
 
I don’t want to tear out my guts on the
phone.”

“Then I’ll come over.”

“
Raine
,
don’t.
 
You said you had lessons to do
and stuff.”

“This is more important.
 
I can wing it tomorrow.”

“Baby, I’m okay, really.”

“No, you’re not.”

God, he couldn’t hide a thing from the
woman.
 
“I will be.
 
I promise.
 
Sometimes, it just gets to me and I break down a little.
 
I’ll take a shower, get some sleep, and I’ll
be good.”

He had managed it countless times,
pulled his shit together and moved forward.
 
Sometimes he had gone through the motions of life like a walking zombie,
but he got through the days and nights.
 
Before he met
Raine
, he’d been numb most of
the time.
 
Meeting her opened his
emotions, and with the happiness she brought, he could feel again.
 
That included the pain.

“I’m really worried.
 
Let me come over.”

It was so easy to imagine
Raine
walking through the door, holding him tight, kissing
him, and talking in her sweet yet somehow sensual voice he adored so much.
 
He wanted to say “yeah, come on,” but he
didn’t.
 
The last thing he wanted was to
drag her down into the stormy waters of his emotional dark side.

“I want you to, sure,” he said. “But
it’s better if you don’t.
 
I
gotta
deal with this, and I don’t want to upset you any
more than I already have.
 
I’d rather not
trash your life, baby, or make you want to run in the other direction.
 
I want more of you,
Raine
.
 
I couldn’t bear to lose you, too.”

Raine’s
quiet sobs
filtered into his ear.
 
“Callahan, you
say the sweetest things, but they rip my heart out in the process.
 
Are you sure you don’t want me to come over?”

“Yeah, I’m totally sure. Just talk to me
for a while, okay? Once I get my shit together, then I’ll take a shower and get
some sleep.
 
I
gotta
work tomorrow and then I’ll meet you.
 
I’ll be looking forward to that all day long. So how’s that?”

She sniffed. “It’ll do.
 
But I’m not hanging up until I’m sure you’re
doing better.”

“I can deal with that,” Cal said. “I
like talking to you, doll.”

“Good.
 
So talk to me.
 
If you don’t want
to talk about your brothers yet, I’m cool with it.
 
Just talk about anything.”

To his surprise, Callahan did.
 
He began with talking about an average day, of
which there weren’t really any, as a law enforcement officer in the Big
Apple.
 
Raine
listened and made appropriate comments, enough to demonstrate her genuine
interest.
 
Cal talked about his days at
the police academy and how he transferred from Lower Manhattan to the Bronx.
 
After a while, the stories rolled easy from
his tongue and his tears evaporated.
 
He
even laughed a little.
 

Toward the end of the conversation,
after more than two hours had passed, he talked about his brothers—not their
deaths, but their lives.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I
busted a window with a home run, and Anthony took the blame?” Cal knew he
hadn’t.

“No, but I want to hear about it.”

“Aw, we were at this baseball park not
too far from Grandma’s apartment and we got into the game.
 
It’s wasn’t no Little League or anything,
just for fun, but the guys took it serious.
 
We hadn’t lived in Brooklyn too long and I wanted to show off, make them
see I was cool, so I hit the ball hard.
 
It flew through the outfield and over the fence.
 
I ran the bases while our team cheered for me,
but I heard glass break.
 
A woman started
cussing, and about the time I slid into home plate, she showed up.

“I’ll never forget her.
 
She had her hair all up in curlers, the
old-fashioned bristle kind and was wearing a plaid robe.
 
She marched over to home plate and grabbed my
arm.
 
I guess she figured if I just
scored, I must’ve hit the ball.
 
‘You little bastard,’
she shrieked.
‘You’re
gonna
pay
for my window. You’ll be lucky if I don’t call the police on you.’”

“Oh, my goodness,”
Raine
said with a laugh. “She sounds a little crazy.”

“Yeah, I think so.
 
Anthony walks up and taps her shoulder.
 
When she turned around, he looked her square
in the eyes and said,
‘Get your hands off
my kid brother.
 
I hit the ball, not him,
so if you got a problem, take it up with me.’
 
At the time, he stood a good six feet and
he’d bulked up.
 
She hesitated and he
shook his head
. ‘Or I guess I can call my
uncle, the police commissioner, and let him deal with it or something.’
  
The woman let go of me and grinned.
‘You don’t
gotta
do that,’
she said.
‘I got home
insurance, so don’t worry about it.’”

Raine
giggled. “Wow,
that’s a real switch.”

Remembering, Cal laughed, too. “Yeah,
she changed her tune and hustled back home.
 
Of course, we didn’t have an uncle who was a police commissioner, but I
realized right then that being a policeman, a cop, has a social standing, a
kind of power.”

“And you decided to grow up to become
one.”

“Yeah, pretty much. I’d wanted to be one
already before that, ‘
cause
I wanted to be the good
guy and I liked guns. And I wanted to be like my grandfather.”

“I bet you played cops and robbers as a
kid.”

“You bet, that, and felony car stop,”
Callahan answered.

“Your brother sounds like he was an
awesome guy.”

A grief pang touched his heart, but the
warmth of her sympathy and the balm of her compassion overrode it. “Yeah, he
was. Aidan, too,” he said. “
Raine
,
some time
I do want to tell you about what happened to both
of them, to spill it all—but when I’m ready to talk about it.”

“Good.
 
Just let me know,” she replied.
“Anytime, anywhere.
 
I don’t care if it’s three o’clock in the
morning or the middle of the day.
 
Okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said.
 

If he quit now, Callahan worried he
might think too much about Anthony and Aidan.
 
He shifted the topic to music and movies he liked.
 
For the first time since his childhood, he
admitted to loving musicals.

“My mom loved them,” he said. “Grandma
did, too.
 
So I grew up knowing the songs
from
Oliver
!,
West Side Story, Guys and Dolls,
plus the newer stuff, too, like
Cats
.
 
Even now, if I get the chance, which isn’t often, I go see a Broadway
show, musical or not, and get the standing room only tickets.
 
I don’t mind, and they’re a hell of a lot
cheaper, too.
 
Sometime, we ought to go
see a show.”

“I’d like that,”
Raine
replied. “I like musicals and plays, too.
 
I did a little theater in high school.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely.
 
I was in
Canterbury
Tales,
Our Town,
and
Once
Upon A
Mattress.”

“I wish I could’ve seen that.”

Callahan learned they liked a lot of the
same music, too.
 
He thought he could
have talked all night without stopping, but it had to end.
 
He’d talked so long his throat was dry and
fatigue had begun to settle over him in a heavy fog, but he felt better.
 
“You helped, baby, more than you know, just
talking to me tonight, and I appreciate it.”

“I’m glad you called me.
 
You should get some rest now.
 
I’ll see you tomorrow, Callahan.
 
I’m looking forward to it.”

“I am, too.
 
Thanks,
Raine
.”

“Sure. Call me later if you need me,
otherwise, I’ll see you after work.”

“I’ll be there, doll.
 
Good night,
Raine
.”

“Good night, Callahan.”

After they ended the call, he sat in
darkness for a few more minutes.
 
Cal
saved the sound of her voice and filed away her concern.
 
She cared, that much he couldn’t doubt, and
she carried him through some bad moments.
 
If he hadn’t talked to her, he would’ve drained the bottle and suffered
for it in the morning.
 
He pushed away the
past and turned on a lamp.
 
Then he
showered, shaved, and stretched out for the night, his scarred heart hurting a
little less now.

****

In the morning, he rose rested, donned
his uniform, strapped on his weapon, and made his way across the city to his
precinct.
 
En
route, he caught himself whistling an upbeat tune he recognized as Roy
Orbinson’s
classic, “Pretty Woman.”

So I’m thinking
about
Raine
,
he mused,
nothing wrong with that.

At the precinct, his partner, a veteran
officer with almost thirty years in the department, glanced up from his desk,
coffee mug in one hand, and stared.
 
“Jeez, what’s up with you, kid?” Joe Lowry asked.

“What?” Callahan said. “It’s just
another Monday morning, another week.”

“Did you win the lottery or get laid?”

“Neither one,” Cal answered.
 
His cock expressed interest at the latter.

“So tell me.
 
Did you fall down on your knees and get saved
at a church revival?
‘Cause
something sure as hell has
changed.
 
You’re walking light, whistling
a tune, and wearing a sappy-ass grin.”

Callahan held out for another minute,
then
caved. “Okay, so I met a woman, that’s all.
  
Don’t get any nasty ideas, either,
Lowry.
 
She’s a nice gal, a teacher and
all.”

The older man shook his head.
“Good.
 
I’m glad for you, kid.
 
You need something more than the job in your
life.
 
Good luck.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.
 
Let’s get through the shift already.
 
I’m meeting her for dinner.”

“All right, Romeo, you bet.
 
What’s her name?”

“
Raine
.”

Speaking it evoked the woman—her blue
eyes, her ready smile, and her knack for offering comfort when needed.
 
Callahan reflected she made him laugh when he
needed some humor, she provided insight when he became thoughtful, and she made
him stronger.
 

“Pretty name,” his partner commented.

“She’s a pretty woman,” he replied.

Lowry snorted. “
I been
married twenty years and more so I know the signs, Callahan.
 
This one sounds like a keeper.”