CARNIVAL (The Spark Form Chronicles Book 2) (11 page)

              The Doctor shakes his head and scans his tablet readings again. "Honestly Mr Forrester, these readings are all over the place, even by your standards."

              "I guess Connor pushed me a bit more than I expected," I say with a horrendously forced grin. From the Doc's raised eyebrows, I can tell that he can see how hard it is for me to fake it. I'm normally a lot more OTT than this after a match but I can't seem to haul that particular wall up just yet.

              "I see," he replies, slowly. "And the Surge effects? How are they manifesting this time?"

              Too quickly and too differently. I'm not getting the familiar flashbacks to my childhood, I'm getting a hundred voices shouting at once. The excitement about winning the match and making eye contact with Connor and moving onto the final and ... that isn't so bad. Even now, I'm still a fan and I'm not ashamed of that, so letting that one wash over me should help me be my normal exaggerated self. The rest is overwhelming though. Oh, and it's looming up behind me like some big ol' mutant tower block that's sprung up from the ground when I wasn't paying attention.

              OK, so if I can't hide away, maybe I can run it all through at speed and get it all outta the way. No, wait, that's a pretty stupid idea now that I think about it ... but it's pretty much all I've got, so let's do it anyway. One big visualised breath, countdown-three-two-one-and-here-we-go ...

              I'm worried about how much damage Carnival took out there, and how she'll feel about how close we came to losing. Plus, seeing her in the state she's in, what will happen if Lana and Finn make a move now? And even if they don't do anything now, when will they do it, and where? Right here, straight after the final or back at the hotel? More importantly, what will they do? They could attack us, maybe draw Carnival into a fight. If that happens, I don't even know if I'll be expected to take control of her or let her do her own thing or if I'll have to fight too, alongside her. But will they risk that? Granddad may have made Carnival, but the work wasn't all his. For all we know, they could have something that'll just switch her off, and then what? What if they do that and there are too many for me to fight off?

              And if they take her, what happens to me? If they take her and leave me ... I've buried so much about before I knew her, and for good reason, could I really go back to that? No, even if I could, I wouldn't want to. Carnival ... what would they do with her? How would they study her? How much would they strip away from her? Would they just discard her when they're done with her, like she never existed at all?

              "How are his readings?" the Doctor asks, the concern creeping into his voice.

              "Spiking, but we're not in the danger zone yet," says someone else somewhere else.

              It could happen. I'm supposed to be unbeatable but I nearly lost tonight.

              "Mr Forrester?"

              The match had rules. Lana and Finn. They don't have rules. Or if they do, I don't know what they are.

              "Readings are rising, he's panicked."

              Panicked? Of course I am. How do you play a game if you don't know the rules? I
can't
lose, but I'm going to and I can't stop it.

              "Mr Forrester," the Doctor says, his voice suddenly stern as he drops down in front of me to make a last ditch attempt at eye contact. "Listen to me. The Surge is taking control. Whatever you may be dealing with right now, you need to find something to counter it. A happy memory, a dream, something to balance it out. Do you understand?"

              "I can't protect her," I blurt, my eyes going wide. My mouth opens, desperately trying to catch up with my mind, and I'm suddenly aware that some sort of nonsensical babbling is pouring out. And what's that? Oh, right. The last rational part of my brain just pointed out that if I can't understand what I'm saying then the chances are neither can anyone else, so at least I'm not giving anything away. Not that that matters now. We're done. Today is it for us ...

              Carnival cuts both my train of thought and my apparent babblings-of-the-possessed impression short with a drawn out, controlled bark.

              In silence, the whole room turns towards the door to the entranceway, each of us focusing on my bloody, grimacing companion as she works her way through the first few steps of a T'ai Chi form. I blink, shake my head and reach down to the Mobile Loader at my feet, clumsily tapping at it as I mumble, "I must've knocked it."

              Carnival soon relaxes back into a ready stance, staring off at the wall behind me. In truth, she's probably only turned this way so that she can keep an eye on me now. "Sorry," I say to the Doctor, but mean it for Carnival. "I'm OK now."

              "All things considered Mr Forrester, I find that rather difficult to believe."

              "Honestly Doc, I'm fine. That crazy Surge, huh?"

              He shakes his head with a loud sigh. "Readings?"

              "Still high, but dropping," replies the man behind me, then adds, "slowly."

              "Stabilising quicker here," says the man to my left.

              "See?" I say with a grin.

              "Mr Forrester," the Doctor says, turning back to me, "I don't suppose you're planning to cease this nonsense and take heed when I tell you that you're not alright, are you?"

              "Not a chance," I reply, shaking my head.

              Keeping his disapproving gaze on me, the Doctor addresses the room. "If anyone is showing signs that Mr Forrester is likely to suffer another heavy Surge, speak now or forever hold your peace." Silence. "Fine then. Mr Forrester, you are aware of my views regarding the prolonged use of the Spinal Implants, and you are
fully
aware of the correct way to recuperate after you've finished ignoring the myriad of advice I have given you both today and at previous events. You should also be aware that I fully intend to report this incident to Mr Carlston."

              "Sure thing."

              Handing his tablet to one of his assistants and crossing his arms across his chest, the Doc looks me up and down appraisingly. I really should find out his name rather than just calling him by his job title all the time. I mean, how would I like it everyone called me 'champ' all the time? Ah, wait, they do and I don't mind. I guess it must be OK. Speaking of OK, my mind is wandering again. That's a good sign. "I shall no doubt be seeing you again later this evening Mr Forrester. Do try not to overdo things," I accidentally say out loud. That was an awful impression of the poor man too.

              "Well that at least is a good sign," he grumbles as he starts to usher his staff out of the room, his cheeks reddening slightly. "As you say Mr Forrester."

              The medical staff take their time leaving, or rather they seem to be. I should apologise to the Doc. Or I should have apologised already. I'll do it now ... nope, he's gone. I'll do it later. Finally, I turn to face Carnival. "I'm sorry," I say, finding it easier to say to her. "The Surge is ..."

              Carnival cuts me off again, this time with a snort accompanied with a placing of the hands on the hips and a tilting of the head in what can only be described as a peeved manner.

              I nod, stand up and stumble my way across the room all the while still under Carnival's watchful eye. One less than smooth movement later and the door is shut with me leaning against it to prevent anyone walking in. "It really didn't help," I say, my eyes dropping to my feet. "Look, I know that you can tell when I'm locking stuff away rather than dealing with it. Like yesterday. You knew that I was worried after Finn came to see us. But you also knew that I was telling the truth when I said that we'd be fine. I still believe that, I do, I just ... I don't want ..."

              Carnival clicks her fingers and I look up to see her wounds and clothing healing at high speed. Being as perceptive as she is, she must have realised that I'm not likely to be finishing any of those half-started sentences any time soon. Now looking like she
hadn't
just been ripped to shreds by a bloodthirsty Vulthera, she clears the room pretty quickly and pulls me into a hug, her ears flopping around my shoulders and her tail shifting subtly as she holds me.

              "The form was looking good," I say quietly, a small smile forming on my face. "I remember when you first tried it. That was the first thing you'd tried to learn that wasn't on one of the cards and it really got to you when you couldn't pick it up as quickly as the Spark Forming moves. You told me that you were going to give up and I told you not to because I believed you could do it, that you could do anything if you wanted to. It just seemed so important to you to get it right, ya know?"

              I look up at her, suddenly very aware of the concentration in her eyes. "I won't give up."

              Carnival replies with a relieved expulsion of breath and gives my hair a playful ruffle. I think that this was probably the first real battle of the day for us. I just wish we hadn't come so close to losing it.

              Quiet, that's what it is, bloody quiet. Everywhere.

              Yet I can't help but smile.

              The Doctors worked solemnly through their pointless little routines and confirmed nothing more than I could have told them myself. I am dying. That Forrester brat did exactly what I'd hoped he would, and pushed me. Pushed me further than any of the others would have, bar maybe Starchaser, and now my body is failing me. Each heavy sodding step hurts and every forced breath burns in my throat.

              Yet I can't help but smile.

              The Doctors knew beforehand of course. Half of them were on hand yesterday and that bastard Carlston no doubt prepped the rest of them, for all the good it will do them. Oh yes, rearrange my matches, make sure I take my pills on time, give fate every possible opportunity to prolong this pathetic existence a little longer.

              Yet I can't help but smile, because I can feel it. I. Am. Dying. This is the last time that I will walk these quiet halls, the last time that I will pass the silent bloody idiots that look away because they know what happened yesterday and can see what is happening now. All that remains to me are a few short hours. Yes, just a few hours more and I shall march past Carlston's office, smiling every damn step of the way as the little shit squirms at the thought that when he next sees me I shall breathe no more.

              One more match. One final triumphant battle, and I
shall
be triumphant because whether I win or lose in the Battle Zone, this war has already been won.

              "I am coming home," I yell, and continue to storm my way back towards my changing room, grinning like a bloody Cheshire Cat.

              "Still nervous?" Hong Chan asks.

              I nod. "Where do you think Fahrn is?"

              "Not a clue," he replies. "I expected her to be here already. Maybe she found some footage of your epic qualifying matches and got scared?"

              "I doubt that," I giggle. "Hong Chan ... Can I ask you something?"

              "Sure," he says with a smile.

              "At the qualifiers, I ... do you remember Michael Torrien?"

              "Of course I do, you beat him in the final. What about him?"

              I pause. I've been thinking about this a lot since my match yesterday. In between all the stuff with Fahrn. "He's here today," I say. "He's playing against Slade Fury and Lana."

              "Good," Hong Chan replies, relaxing against the wall. "He's a good competitor. Is he still wearing the mask, or is he doing the Donal Delaney thing?"

              I shrug nervously. "When I beat him and we shook hands, he told me that I didn't belong in the championships."

              "He did?"

              "I'm not upset about what he said. I had to be here. It's just that I can't ..." I look up at Hong Chan and can feel the anxiousness on my face. It's stupid. There's no need to be nervous, it's not like this really matters anyway. "Did he throw the match?" I ask at last.

              Hong Chan looks at me for a moment, then takes off his sunglasses with a sigh and says, "Yes. Emblem bribed him because they wanted
me
here and I set the condition that you had to make it to the tournament. I didn't tell you because I didn't want it to damage your confidence coming here."

              "Thank you," I reply, relaxing a little. "I wouldn't have ..."

              "Hey," comes a voice from the main doorway. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?"

              I turn to Fahrn and shake my head with a smile. "I was getting worried. I thought you were going to miss our match."

              Fahrn steps into the room and glances over her shoulder at the clock hanging above the door. "I've been avoiding you," she says nonchalantly, then immediately panics. "I don't mean that I've been
avoiding
-avoiding you, you haven't upset me or anything, it's ... there's really no way to make that sound good, is there?"

              "None at all," Hong Chan laughs.

              Fahrn gives a defeated grin, shakes her head and tries again. "It's just that, after last night, I really didn't want to give you too much to deal with in one go. That and I thought that if we had too long together before the match then something would happen or I'd say something stupid." She sighs. "Fuck it. I'm a coward Meera. I was protecting myself because reliving everything hurts me too and I didn't want to be in that position today. There are things happening that mean it's important that I'm at my best, so I've been avoiding talking to you in case I end up screwing it all up. After the show is different, ya know? It's on our own terms and we don't have to worry about it affecting things here."

              Before I can reply, the lights above the door to the entranceway start flashing and a quiet beeping starts to run through the room. Hong Chan gets to his feet and starts fiddling with his sunglasses. I dash across the room and surprise both Fahrn and myself by giving her a hug. "Thank you for explaining why you were late," I say. "And that it hurts you too. I feel safer talking in the hotel anyway."

              "I was gonna leave it a little later to come," she says sadly. "I'd planned to miss you completely, but Maria told me not to be so stupid. She said that I should just tell you why I've been hiding away or we'll both be beating ourselves up all day."

              "I'm glad you have each other," I say, letting go and moving back towards the door again. "I'm scared, but I'm really looking forward to talking again. It helps. A little."

              "Baby steps now and you'll be running before you know it," she replies.

              I smile, and step through the door with Hong Chan. That was strange. I don't normally hug, or accept things so easily. I know that Fahrn wasn't trying to be mean but it feels like I should have been upset. I would be normally, wouldn't I?

              Maybe I'm healing better than I thought.