CARNIVAL (The Spark Form Chronicles Book 2) (3 page)

              All things considered, I'm surprised that I'm this focused. Since we made it to the changing room, it's like every card I look at opens up possibilities in my head as to how I could use it against Forrester or Connor Ford. I feel kinda bad that I'm not planning too far ahead for the match with Meera, but I kinda knew how I was going to approach that one anyway. Meera said herself, she's not expecting to beat me. If Dorian hadn't pulled his walkout bit, she'd have probably been eliminated already. I just hope last night was as cathartic for her as it was for me.

              "Do you think she's OK?"

              "Hmm?" replies Maria, stirring her tea on the kitchen worktop at the back of the changing room.

              "Meera. Do you think she's OK? She was really shaken when we left last night."

              "She was doing better when we left," she corrects me, dropping her tea bag into the little bin by her feet and walking over to join me at the table. "You just didn't notice because you were pretty shaken yourself."

              "Maybe," I say, putting a small wad of cards down in a pile. "I was just worried because she seemed so shocked when I told her about what happened when she was with us."

              Maria scoots up onto the table, warming her hands on her mug as she idly crosses her feet next to me. "We both knew she'd be like that. She really doesn't remember any of it, you could see that, so of course it was going to hit her. It meant that she had to really face up to how she deals with things."

              "I know, I know," I say. "It's just that I want to reach the end of it all, you know?"

              Maria takes a sip of her tea and smiles down at me, her face softening with the gentle tone of her voice. "She'll get there. She's survived this long, and through far worse things than chatting with you."

              "It's not just her though," I say, catching my chuckle just as it starts. "Going through it all again ... I feel like it did
me
some good. It's selfish, and I hate that I'm looking at it like this, but if I can get her through it all, or even just get her to a better place, then I think it'll help me too. I know I should be trying to help her, and I will, I am, but ..." I pause. There's no way to say this without hating myself for it, but there's no way to back out of it now that I've started either. "I know that I can get something out of this. I want to fix myself and move on from The Halo too. That's a really crappy way to look at it, isn't it? She's the one that suffered, all because of me, and here I am thinking about my own shit rather than focusing on her." I shake my head. "Typical fucking Offland scum, only out for herself."

              I drop my gaze to my hands, realising for the first time that they're shaking.

              "Hey," Maria replies, her voice soft. She puts her cup down at the back of the table and lifts her hand to the side of my head, reaching just under my hair. My face naturally moves in to meet it, taking in the warmth of her hand as she gently strokes my cheek. "You've needed this for a long time Fahrn. And you're not being selfish," she says, shaking her head. "You're doing what you always do. Fighting to be a better person."

              "For you," I sigh.

              "Fahrn," she replies, slipping her hand under my chin and tilting my face up to hers. "You could stay exactly the way you are forever and I'd never think any less of you."

              I lean in and our lips meet, my eyes closing as I feel Maria sigh deeply, her breath warm against my face. For a moment we remain still, the world softening around us until finally, I tilt my forehead into hers, letting myself smile briefly before saying, "I'm going to talk to Sean about the Dorian idea. There are a few things I'd like to change, and I need to know that I'm definitely going to get some time off after today, but overall, I think it could be good for us. We'll be safer out in public, and I may be able to make a difference to other kids like Meera."

              Maria smiles proudly, pulling me into a hug while I choke back the tears with a smile of my own.

              "Oh comfier chair, how I've missed you," I say as I drop myself into the better of the two arm chairs that the arena has supplied for us. Closing my eyes, I let out an intentionally over-the-top sigh as I sink into one of the loose springs, stifling my discomfort while I wait for Finn to react. When no reaction comes, I look up to see him standing by the door, head tilted as though he were confused. It sucks knowing that somewhere beneath those sunglasses of his sit two eyes that think they're displaying an accurate emotional response in line with the body movements, but don't actually come close.

              That's unfair actually, Finn works well enough to fool most people into thinking he's human, it's just that I know what to look for. The lack of a glint when you'd expect it, the slightly visible Wick tentacle if you watch his pupil long enough, the never-ending blackness that's intrinsic to his soulless persona. That sort of thing. In truth, I'm just annoyed that Carnival does it better. Living or not, she's special, there's no doubt about that.

              "Oh come on," I groan, "It's no fun taunting you if you don't rise to it."

              "My apologies Miss De La Cruz, I am merely surprised that you seem to wish to continue as normal today. Considering the work ahead, not to mention Carnival's display at the front of the arena, I felt certain that you would be more content to move swiftly ahead with our planned course of action."

              I haven't told Finn about Carnival's second visit. Regardless of whether I do broker a deal with her or not, he'd only end up annoying me. 'With all due respect Miss De La Cruz, I feel that your judgment is perhaps becoming clouded by your desire to surpass Robert. Without such desires, you would undoubtedly approach the situation far differently and would not even entertain the idea of forming any sort of pact with a clearly simulated entity.' That's what he sounds like.

              I stretch out and try to find a comfortable position, finally settling on one that's marginally better than anything I manged yesterday before continuing, "Look, Finn, it's business as usual, OK? I mean, think about it. Programming the shut-off program for Meera won't take long at all and we can install that wirelessly, so there's no real disruption there. Hell, even if we did decide it would screw us up time wise, I'm sure that we could figure it out. If worse comes to worse, we can set Hong Chan on some of the menial parts of the set up. It's cool. Chill."

              "With all due respect Miss De La Cruz, I feel that your judgment has perhaps been clouded by the shock of Carnival's visit while I was shut off last night. While you undoubtedly possess a remarkable intellect and resilience to many challenges, I am concerned that you have been left, I believe the phrase is 'Gun Shy' with respect to tackling Mr Forrester and his Spark Form. On top of which, you were supposed to have finished Meera's update last night."

              "Concerned, eh? Is someone developing emotions now? Perhaps whatever Carnival has is catching," I say with a cheeky grin.

              "Concern was merely the most appropriate word to use in the situation in order to achieve a degree of connection with your perceived emotional responses. If you wish for a more accurate description, then I calculated that there was a high risk that you are, subconsciously at least, attempting to sabotage yourself. Whether this is through fear of retaliation by the, admittedly potentially dangerous one of our targets, or fear of comparing your own work with Roberts to the level that will be made possible by acquiring our target, I could not say with one hundred per cent certainty. It is however very likely that you are acting through fear, even if you do not realise it."

              "Aha," I say, waggling an accusatory finger at my companion. "So you intentionally chose a misleading word in order to gain a better response from me. You actually made an attempt to manipulate me emotionally without it being because I needed talking down or reminding of my own genius! That's a trait you've developed yourself. Fantastic!"

              "I am afraid Miss De La Cruz that you are mistaken," he says, finally dropping our bags and walking towards the small kitchen unit. "The ability to manipulate is one of my pre-set attributes, it is simply not one that I have applied to you before, or rather not in quite this way."

              "Because I programmed you not to."

              "In actuality Miss De La Cruz, you programmed me to behave in your best interests and to guide you as appropriate. That being my overarching behavioural command means that manipulating you in any manner has always been a possible course of action. That you did not pick up on this fact yourself is proof enough that you are not concentrating as you normally would."

              "Very good," I reply with a laugh, throwing my arms in the air in defeat. "I can see your logic Finn, I can, but you're wrong. Or wrong that you need to act against any nerves I may have anyway. Nerves are fine, and yes they do sometimes prevent you from being ..." I pause and give my neck and wrist a quick flick while I search for the right word. "Consistency is what you're looking at I think. Consistency in behaviour?" He nods and I continue. "The thing is, my underlying behaviours are still fine. I may be acting a bit nonchalant about it all, but I really am concentrating on what we need to do today. I just have faith in the planning we've already done and trust that we can get it done ahead of time. I was like this before every major discovery or bit of progress we've made in the project. I mean sure, the idea of comparing my work with Robert's is pretty scary, but that's part of the fun, not to mention that it's a necessary step in pushing forward with things. I'll admit that I got side-tracked with the update for Meera, but that's no big deal. It's not like I was gonna get it how I wanted it before today anyway. As to the dangers of tackling John's Lopine, I'm sure that you and Hong Chan can handle it."

              "Very well," Finn nods. "Then we shall continue at your pace. I shall however keep you abreast of any new developments or potential issues, time based or otherwise."

              "I'd expect nothing less."

              Finn nods again and starts to fill the kettle. He hasn't realised how big a deal what he just did was though. The project is a big thing for me, so he really did act with my best interests in mind, just like he's programmed to. What he did though was act before he could verify that his assumptions were right despite there being no immediate risk to our goals. That means that he made a conscious decision to activate a pre-set behavioural routine ahead of the time that he's programmed to. He winced when I mentioned Hong Chan too. It was quick but it was definitely there. He's actually developing some light jealousy. Or if not that, then a competitive streak.

              Thinking on it, the reason he hasn't noticed it is probably because I programmed him to be so cold and calculating. He's always known what he is and as such could never assimilate the idea that he's anything other than a machine, it's just not in him. Which means that he may be developing something like sentience, but he'll never fully achieve it, and the fault there lies with me and my work.

              Still, baby steps.

              "The way it works is that you plan out the Ess-Eff's route on here," babbles the over-excitable techy as he swipes the tablet screen onto a top down drawing of part of the arena. Carlston probably instructed them to send the most annoying bloody pillock they had, the bastard.

              "As you can see, the whole arena is mapped out like this, so if you wanted to take your Ess-Eff for a walk through the corridors you could. I expect you mostly want the actual battle area and entranceway bit though."

              "I see no need to parade Jariah through the backstage. Her entrance needs to be a surprise if I'm to upstage that pretender Forrester."

              "Pretender? I dunno, John's pretty good," he says with a smile. I respond with a scowl and he soon drops back into a more suitably kowtowed demeanour. "I mean, he's not like you were, he's just pretty exciting to watch is all."

              "Pah," I harrumph. "I shall be the judge of how bloody entertaining he is when I have him squirming at my feet. Now, I assume this thing allows me to do more than just make Jariah walk about like some sort of mindless drone? If I'd wanted that, I'd have put that Robert Church creature in her armour and dragged him out to the battle Zone with me."

              "Oh, she can do plenty," he says with far too big a grin for someone who respects his colleagues. "You can have her play out any of her pre-set taunts or moves at any point on the path you lay out. If you wanted something else programmed, like a specific action or something, I could probably have it done in an hour or so."

              I lean back in my chair, cross my arms and fix the nameless annoyance with a narrow eyed glare. "And this is the software that Forrester uses is it?"

              "Uhm," he says, tilting his head and staring off into space. "We've not actually seen what he's using. I always said we should be more cautious about stuff like that but he's so popular with the fans that he kinda gets away with a lot of stuff. I'd guess that it's pretty similar to this though."

              "Simplicity," I reply, "That's the key here. When standing toe-to-toe with the overblown, face it down with the understated."

              "Excuse me?"

              I sigh and grab a writing pad and pen from the table, flipping it open and scribbling a few details down as I continue, "This is what I want. Add whatever little touches you need to to make it look real," I say, tearing the page out and handing it to the techy. "Just keep it simple."

              He scans the page quickly, nods and says, "Easy enough. You want me to get started on it now?"

              "Yes, yes," I reply, dismissing him with my hand. "Come back when it's done."

              I ignore his prattled goodbyes and wait for him to leave before pulling my phone from my pocket and dialling.

              "Hello?"

              "Carlston," I growl. "I have a bone to pick with you. I've just had a visit from IT."

              "Ah yes. Jenkins wasn't it? He behaved himself I assume?"

              "Oh he behaved himself alright. He almost stumbled once or twice but he managed to keep on track well enough. Not at all like yesterday's ingrates. So bloody different in fact that that's what gave it away."

              "I don't have a clue what you mean," he says, his voice dripping with mock innocence. "Gave what away?"

              "You, Carlston, are a bare faced bloody liar. You've been instructing the staff on how to behave around me so as not to get me too riled up."

              "Oh Connor," he laughs, mocking me brazenly. "Could they not have just seen through you?"

              "Oh fuck you Carlston," I reply and hang up.