Cart Before The Horse (20 page)

His eyes lit, but then narrowed as though he were waiting for her to slap him with something else.
Why would she blame him? She was a crazy woman on the verge of tears blabbering a

million miles a minute in the alley in his car.

“You’re everything I wasn’t looking for.” He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.
“I’ll make you happy, Holly. I promise I’ll spend my life trying to make everything perfect.”

“I’ve finally decided, I like things when they aren’t so pe
rfect.”

When the horse was being run over by the cart, she was most happy.
And in his car, in the November cold, she was very happy.

It was done. Gabe confirmed with Doug that they wanted the house as soon as he could make the deal. They would close on it just before Christmas.

Every night Holly put his hand to her stomach to urge him to feel the fluttering she felt in her stomach, but he still couldn’t feel the movement.
It frustrated him, but he didn’t want to let on. More than anything he wanted to feel his child’s kicks.

Chandra had brought in the man she’d thought could ha
ndle taking over for her, and though Gabe thought he had ten too many tattoos, Chandra seemed comfortable with him. He was going to back her. If this was the man for the job, then he’d let her make that decision. Letting go of the ropes was going to be harder than he’d thought. But he owed it to Holly, who was trying to accept change too.

Dinner rush on Sunday was extremely slow.
He decided to give Chandra the run of the place and he headed upstairs with a few empty produce boxes. It was time to pack up and make room for a potential renter. Though the prospect of rental income excited him, seeing his bachelor digs go, that was a hard pill to swallow.

He started in the kitchen.
That chore took one box and ten minutes. It was pathetic to think that he’d lived for the past six years with four glasses, two coffee mugs, three plates, and a salad bowl. He’d emptied the dishwasher at Holly’s on more

than one occasion. The woman had enough dishes to fill the house without buying anything new.

Next, he cleared out the hall closet.
A set of ratty sheets and a Red Sox Snuggie were all he had to take with him to the beautiful home he would share with Holly. There were a few beach towels and one from the Holiday Inn he’d stayed at before his uncle had offered him the apartment. He laughed. He’d gone through the motions of life for years. Finally, he was going to have a life. The very thought warmed him from his head to his feet, until he reached to the top shelf and pulled down
a box.

Gabe sat in the floor. When he opened the box, all the warmth left his body.
Inside was Jasmine’s bridal bouquet. The air whooshed out of his lungs as though he’d been punched. He’d completely forgotten he’d kept the box all those years.

The colors were unfaded, the purples and yellows and reds, but the flowers were brittle and dry.
He didn’t dare pull it from the box.

A sudden headache made him pinch the bridge of his nose.
But, looking at the bouquet, he knew that although some part of him would always miss Jasmine, his grieving was over. He’d moved on from needing her when he realized he loved Holly. In his own demented dreams, Jasmine had given him permission to move on—so why was this stupid bouquet bothering him
so much?

He lifted his head.
This bunch of dried flowers was the last thing he had that was Jasmine’s. Everything else of hers was gone—and so was she. The pain of losing her had been real, and he was afraid of feeling that again. That was why he had never dated or moved on until Holly happened along. Now his biggest fear was that he’d lose her too.

If something happened to her or the baby, he’d be deva
stated—again.

His cell phone rang, and he tossed the box back on a shelf in the closet and jumped up.
He pulled it from his pocket.

“Yeah?” he answered quickly, snapping at the person on the other end.

“It’s Holly.”
Her voice shook, and there was a lot of noise behind her. The number hadn’t come up as her number.

His stomach knotted. “Where are you?” Panic filled his voice.

“Gabe, can you come get me?” She was yelling above the noise. “Gabe, I’m at home. There’s a fire.”

Chaos on the street surrounded her as she pulled the heavy blanket a fireman had given her around her shoulders. The heavy smoke stung her eyes and burned in her lungs. Holly tried to blink to keep her eyes moist, but she was fearfully fascinated at the crackling fire that was wiping away everything she’d worked so hard for.

She’d been lucky she had a pair of shoes by the door so at least she wasn’t standing in the snow barefooted as some of her neighbors were.

Flames shot out of the top of her building, and she could see smoke billow from her bedroom window.
Five days before her wedding, and she was homeless. Everything she’d bought herself over the years was in flames. Everything except the wedding dress she’d picked to marry Gabe in, which was safely tucked away at her mother’s house so he’d never see it.

“Holly!
Holly!” She heard her name shouted over the sounds of the water and pumps from the fire trucks. When she turned, she saw Gabe racing for her.

His face was white, his hair rumpled as though he’d been tugging on it.
He was adorable and completely full of panic.

Gabe grabbed her shoulders and looked her over.
“Are you hurt? Did you get burned? The baby…” He reached under the blanket and touched her stomach. “I should get you to a
hospital.”

It wasn’t the time for laughter, but it brewed in her belly, rose to her throat, and escaped. Holly placed her hand over his

and hugged it against her stomach.
“I’m fine. I got out the minute I heard the alarm.” She looked up at the fully engulfed building. As flames shot from her bedroom window, the dire situation hit her, and she felt her knees lock.

Gabe must have felt her shift.
His arms came around her, and he pulled her back across the street to a bus bench and sat her down. He knelt in front of her and watched her.

“Everything I own is in there.”
She watched the flames build behind her living room window. There was a loud
pop
and the window gave to the heat and exploded down onto the street. People in the crowd screamed and Gabe pulled Holly into her arms, shielding her. But he couldn’t protect her from the sickness stirring in her belly knowing more people joined the crowd fascinated by the flames, not realizing material possessions were being stripped away one ember at a time.

“It’s not important.” Gabe tugged at the blanket around her like a parent would with a child. “What’s important is that you and the baby are okay.
I can replace anything of material value that you want me to. Just tell me you’re all right.” His eyes were desperate as they continued to scan over her. He was the only person there not focused on the fire destroying her life. His focus was completely on her.

Holly nodded.

Gabe touched her face. “What happened?”

Holly shifted her glance from the fire to him.
The shimmer of tears that filled his eyes squeezed at her heart. The worry that creased them made her tremble. He’d worried about her. This man knew tragedy firsthand. She couldn’t help but feel guilty that she’d put him through the worry. She knew she never wanted to see that kind of pain in his eyes again. “The lady upstairs was cooking. She started a grease fire and dumped water on it. She said the kitchen went up immediately. By the time she’d made it to her front door, it had spread from the kitchen to her living room.”

He looked around the crowd, and the creases around his

eyes deepened.
She knew, because she was learning quickly about the man, he was desperate to help everyone. “She’s okay? Was she hurt? Did they call her family?” He tugged again on the blanket, and though she felt cocooned, she knew he was protecting what was his. Holly nodded. “They took her to the hospital for burns on her arms. Everyone made it out. Only a cat is missing.” Holly looked at the woman across the street, bundled in a similar blanket, clutching another cat. The cat she’d lost was like a child to her, and that ripped through Holly. She instinctively wrapped her arm around her stomach, shielding her own child.

He pulled her to him, her face pressed against the softness of his T-shirt, and she could feel the rapid pace of his heart beat against her cheek.
“I was so worried, Holly. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” His voice cracked and he sniffed. She knew the tears that had been pooling in his eyes had finally fallen.

“I was afraid for the baby too.”

Gabe pushed back. His eyes, shielded by worry before, were now narrowed by anger. His lips were thin as he stared down at her. “Do you think that’s all that you are to me? That I’m only in this for the baby? I thought I made it clear how I felt about you.”

Holly swallowed hard and nodded again.

“I love you. And had I had the chance to know you before the baby, I’m fairly sure I would have fallen in love with you then. But as it is we’re going to be a family, and that doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

He stood and paced a circle as he raked his fingers through his hair.

“Do you have to stay here? Will they let you go?”

“I can leave.
I should tell them where to find me.” She stood and pulled the blanket tighter.

“Go do that.
I’ll wait for you here.”

His words had gone sharp, and she didn’t like what she’d

done to him.
He’d been upset enough when he arrived. Why was it she always turned his feelings around?

Holly gave Gabe’s phone number to one of the firefighters and handed him the blanket she’d had wrapped around her.
He informed her they would call when the fire was out, and when it was safe, they would remove the items they could salvage.

Gabe sat against the hood of his car, a heavy jacket draped over his arm.
When she approached, he slipped the coat over her shoulders, and she slid her arms through the sleeves.

He looked up at the building engulfed in flames.
“You don’t have anything at my place, do you?”

Holly shook her head.

“Let’s run by the store and get you a few things.
I’m sure when my mother and my sisters get here tomorrow, they’ll be more than happy to help you replenish your wardrobe.” He turned to open the car door.

More than even the smoke in her lungs, his eyes had burned through her, and she hated that she’d hurt him. Holly reached for his arm.
“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”
But his voice was flat as though he were just repeating what she’d said.

“No.
Gabe, I love you. I’m sorry for doubting you.”

His lips tightened again and his eyebrows drew closer t
ogether. “Should I take you to Tracy’s or to your parents’ house?”

A loud breath escaped her as she felt as though he’d punched her in the gut. “Why?”

“I just want to give you options. If you come home with me, we’d be living together. You made it quite clear you didn’t want me to expect that just because we’re having a baby that you’d be moving in.” He tunneled his fingers through his already mussed hair. “I know I’ve been staying here, but right now I’m not sure you want to be living with me.”

“I never want to live anywhere without you.”
She moved in closer and rested her head on his shoulder. Gabe lifted his

arms around her and held her tight. At that moment, a fiery explosion blew out the rest of the windows from her condo. She covered her ears as Gabe moved in and the crowd gasped and screamed. Loss, grief, and sadness enveloped her. But as she felt the distinct movement of the baby, she knew nothing else mattered. She pressed harder to Gabe, but he didn’t react. He didn’t feel the new life inside of her.

Gabe opened the car door, and she sat inside the safety of the car and closed her eyes against the flames.
If there was a time to move forward with her new life, the time was now. She was sorry she’d ever been so selfish about the life she’d built for herself. Obviously she’d made it very clear that what was hers was hers, because now even Gabe doubted that she could be happy living with him.

Chapter Twelve

The phone rang at seven that morning, and Holly wasn’t surprised to hear Tracy’s voice on the other end.

“Don’t you dare come into the office today.
In fact, I don’t want to see your face at your desk until after your honeymoon.”

“Tracy, I’m fine.
Gabe has checked me over at least a hundred times, and all I have is a tiny scratch on my arm from where I hit the door as I started down the stairwell.”

“I said don’t you dare try to come in. I’ve called the clients who are waiting on designs and told them about the fire.
They’re very understanding.” Tracy let out a loud breath. “I drove by the building today on my way in. Oh, honey. What
a mess.”

“I know.” Holly walked to the window and looked down at the street below.
The day was beginning, people were making their trek into town. “Gabe’s been so patient with me. I cried over my shoe collection and my furniture. The book collection my grandmother gave me is gone. But Tracy…” She stepped back from the window. “I’m blessed. A few more hours and I would have been asleep. I made it out alive, and that’s all that matters.”

“Damn straight that’s all that matters.”

Holly settled into the chair in the living room. She saw the picture frame lying facedown on the table next to her and turned it over. Jasmine and Gabe smiled up at her. She looked up on the mantel where she’d put it before, and a sharp pain pierced her chest. He’d needed to look at it again. “I think

Gabe was more scared than I was.” She stood the picture on the table and tucked her feet under her. Then she settled her hand on her stomach, which she realized was almost double the size it had been a few days earlier.

“He has a lot to lose.
More than some stupid Italian shoes.”

“I know.
I feel guilty that I even cried over it. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose someone you love.”

Their conversation stilled, and in the quiet Holly wo
ndered just how bad Gabe had been when Jasmine died. Seeing his reaction and having him hover over her all night had been enough to drive her mad. But he’d been afraid, that much was obvious. Holly knew she’d scared him back to six years ago when the woman he loved died.

“So now what happens?” Tracy broke the silence.

“Gabe already talked to the fire chief. It’s all a loss. Nothing is salvageable. He called the insurance company, and they’ll be out today to assess the damage, and I begin to rebuild
my life.”

“You did that the night of your birthday.”

Holly let out a pleasurable sigh, thinking about the backward blessing that had happened that night. “Yes, I did.”

“Listen, seriously don’t come in.
Take some time. I left a bag out back of the restaurant, so hurry and go get it. It’s some things for you, though I know Gabe has taken care of everything for you.”

“Yes, he has.”

“But you’re okay, right? You wouldn’t lie to me.”

“Tracy, I’m fine.” She plucked at Gabe’s oversized shirt she was wearing.

“You sound okay.
That’s not like you. You should be
frantic.”

Holly ran her fingers through her hair and smiled.
“I know. And you’d think I’d be stressing over the fact I didn’t load up my arms with my designer shoes, but Tracy, it didn’t matter to me. All I could think about was getting myself out of the build-

ing and calling Gabe.” She rubbed her stomach. “He needed me and the baby, and we needed him.”

“God, I think you’re perfectly normal now.”

Holly laughed. “I’m in love with both of them, and I don’t ever want a day to pass when we’re not together.” She glanced at the picture and sighed. “This wasn’t exactly how I thought we’d start living together, though.”

“It works.
Okay, go down and get the bag. I don’t want it walking away and to see a homeless man on the street in your new maternity clothes.”

“Thank you.
I’ll call you later.” Holly hung up and looked up to see Gabe in the doorway. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

His forehead was creased and his mouth turned down. “I was worried about you.”

“Gabe, I’m fine.” She moved to stand from the chair, but the baby kicked harder than it ever had, and she sat back down with her hand on her stomach.

“What’s wrong?”
He was to her in a flash, kneeling on the floor before her.

“Here.”
She took his hand and set it on her stomach. They waited. It was faint, the smallest of movements, but when his eyes flashed up at her, she knew he’d felt it.

“She’s wiggly,” he said, grinning widely.

The weight of the night before lifted off Holly’s chest. She took a deep breath, inhaling the moment. “Isn’t that amazing?”

Gabe pulled her to her feet and cupped her face in his hands.
“I love you. I can’t imagine ever loving anyone else as much as I love you.” He kissed her hard on the lips and her head spun. “I’m running downstairs for some orange juice. I’d say champagne, but…”

He quickly kissed her again and hurried out of the
apartment.

Holly sat back down in the chair and looked at the picture next to her.
Did he mean it? Did he truly love her more than anyone else—including Jasmine?

Holly heard Gabe on the stairs and opened the door. He skillfully balanced a tray bearing an assortment of bagels, cups of fruit, slices of bacon, and of course orange juice. Dangling from his finger, under the tray of food, was a brown shopping bag with woven handles, stuffed with multicolored tissue paper. “Max found this out back when he drove up this morning.” He set down the tray and handed the bag to her.

“It’s from Tracy.”
She reached inside and laughed as she held up the voluminous maternity dresses to her body. “I’d say she’s trying to make sure I have plenty of room to grow.”

“And grow you will.”
He raised his glass of orange juice in salute.

Her jaw tensed as she narrowed her glare at him. “Don’t scare me.”

Gabe grinned at her. “Why does that scare you?”

“I’ll be big.” She dropped the dress back into the bag and scanned her eyes over the food on the table, but didn’t pick up anything to eat. How could she even think of eating? “I’ve a
lready gained ten pounds.”

“And your nose will get big.”
He picked up a piece of bacon and bit off the end as she stared at him.

“My nose?”

“Yeah.” He swallowed hard, and she saw the edges of his mouth straining to keep from letting that grin turn into an enormous smile. “All of my sisters’ noses got big. I don’t know why the nose. I mean, really, your ankles swell enough and then your stomach is…” He stopped. “I’m shutting up now.”

She took a breath to tell him how insensitive he was, but a knock at the door stopped her.
Gabe quickly rose to open
the door.

She shouldn’t have been surprised to see her mother stan
ding there, but she was. Trudy raced past Gabe and right to Holly, taking her arms in her hands and scanning them as if she were a toddler who had just fallen on the playground.

“You’re all right?
You’re not hurt? You didn’t get burned?”

She dropped her hands. “The baby. The baby is okay? Did you breathe in too much smoke?” She turned to Gabe. “She
looks pale.”

“Trudy, she’s fine.”
He walked to Holly and kissed her gently on the cheek. “I’m going down to see how Max is doing with the inventory for the bar. It figures that would be the first thing Chandra gave up doing. Trudy, please have a seat and some orange juice, and if you’re hungry just let me know and I’ll send up some food.”

“Thank you, darling.”

He left, and Holly humored herself by thinking about how he had her mother eating out of his hand. No one had ever had control over Trudy Jacobs quite like her father and Gabe did.

“He is a wonderful man,” her mother sighed.

“Yes, he is.” Holly draped the dress over the back of the kitchen chair. “So what are you doing here?”

The lines in her mother’s forehead deepened, and her shoulders dropped. “What am I doing here?
Holly, your house was destroyed. All of your belongings were ruined.” She lifted her hand to her chest, which Holly had seen her do many times as she tried to explain how Holly had disappointed her, but this time she wore concern in the lines around her eyes. “Don’t you think I would be worried about you?”

The glow that always surrounded Trudy Jacobs had been extinguished.
It took Holly a moment to realize that her mother hadn’t been thinking about herself when she’d showed up at their door. She was thinking about Holly, and this was what maternal concern looked like. Holly was in unfamiliar territory. She wasn’t sure how to handle her mother in this capacity. “Gabe called you?”

“Of course he did.” There was a crack in her voice, and she cleared her throat. Holly knew that meant tears were close; and when her mother sat down, took a napkin, and dabbed her eyes, Holly was sure they would flow free.
Instead her mother’s lips settled in a tight line as she collected herself. “He called me the

minute he got you home last night. He made me promise not to run over here. He said you were fine and just needed to rest—but really, Holly, I wanted to be here. I couldn’t sleep all night. But I knew you were in good hands.”

“I certainly was.”
Holly sat down. She’d grown annoyed with Gabe looking over her, checking for any injuries. He’d hovered until she’d yelled at him to give her some space. But he never had gone far.

There was a peace in having had Gabe by her side all night and having him wrap his arms around her, cocooning her as though he were protecting her.
Love had made the tears she’d shed over the loss of her belongings seem trivial. Love had calmed her and given her a tranquility she’d never known.

Her mother picked up a glass of orange juice and took a sip. “I’m glad he’s taking you to the doctor anyway.
I’d feel better knowing you and the baby were okay.”

“Doctor?” A bubble of anger lodged in her chest.
“He didn’t mention it.” When was he going to realize she was fine? She hadn’t gotten hurt.

“It probably slipped his mind.”
Her mother picked up a bagel from the plate in the center of the table and broke it in half. “But first we are going shopping. Your father made me promise to buy you some very nice things.”

Holly shook her head. “
Mom, I don’t need anything. Gabe got me some things last night. Tracy brought some over this morning.”

“I don’t care.
I’m here to spoil you.” She bit into the bagel. “I didn’t do that enough while you were growing up. It’s time I did a little of it now.”

The anger that had risen in her subsided, and shock threa
tened to choke her. Holly picked up her glass of orange juice and drank it down until she’d emptied the glass. The spoiled Trudy Jacobs wanted to spoil her. When she thought of it that way, the anger made another brief appearance. What had taken her so long?

Holly took a deep breath and felt the baby begin to hiccup. When she set her hand on her stomach, concealed by the table so her mother wouldn’t worry, she was reminded that people change and it can happen so quickly. Even she had to admit, she’d become a completely changed person in the matter of a few months.

She looked at her mother, who, for the first time that Holly could remember, looked content.

Trudy held to her word. She shopped long after Holly dropped to order a smoothie and rest at a small table in the corner of the mall.

“Look at this!”
Her mother hurried to the table and pulled out a white lacy nightgown.

Holly looked around to see if anyone was looking.
“Mother!”

“It’s a wedding present.” Her mother’s grin made Holly want to smile.
“You don’t have time for a bridal shower, so I’m going to get you a few things. I’ll wrap the others up, but I wanted to show you this one.”

Holly felt the heat rise in her cheeks as Gabe’s cell phone rang in her pocket.

She pulled it out. “Hello.”

“Holly, it’s Gabe.”

“Hello, my darling.” She eased back in the chair, loving the feeling of bliss that ran through her when she heard his voice.

“Listen, I can’t make it to the doctor’s appointment with you.
My mother just called. They got an earlier flight and they’ll be landing at the same time. I tried to tell her to rent a car, but they don’t want to drive in Denver. As if Boston is any better.”

Holly stifled her laugh. “That’s fine.”
She still didn’t think she even needed a doctor’s appointment.