Cash (Hawthorne Brothers Romance) (14 page)

My mother drove me to the airport and began to cry a little as we got out and she wouldn’t let go of me. “You be safe, you hear me? There are a lot of bad people in the world,” she said.

“I live in a big city, Mom, I’ll be fine,” I said.

“I just need to make sure you’re safe. I want to hear from you often, okay? It can just be text messages, but I want updates on your trip and how it’s going,” she said.

“I promise I will,” I said.

“And don’t take any girls to your hotel,” she said.

“Mom,” I said, laughing.

“Okay, I’ll let you get on your plane now. I love you,” she said, kissing my cheek.

“I love you, too,” I said, and she turned around and got back into her car.

I saw her wipe away a tear before driving away, which hurt a little. I hated seeing her cry. “Can I take your bags?” one of the attendants asked.

“Thank you,” I replied, smiling.

I boarded the plane, meeting the pilots and shaking their hands before settling down in the soft, cream-colored leather oversized chair and setting my backpack full of electronics and goodies on the chair across from me. I looked out the small passenger window and over the Iowan tundra before sitting back and taking out my phone.

I wouldn’t have a connection this entire flight, and as I unlocked my phone and opened the thread with Jenna, I wondered if I should send her anything. I flipped through the old messages, seeing how happy and funny we were, before locking it and thinking back to what Bentley said. Was I making a mistake? I could still get off the plane.

I bit my lower lip, wrestling with the idea, before the flight attendant got on and the door closed behind her. I guess that was my sign.

Upset, I looked out the window again before we soon started moving and eventually took off. 

I hoped I wasn’t throwing away something great.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jenna

I sat around at work before my shift and played with on my phone as I opened and closed so many apps my head was about to spin. I had nothing else to do, nobody to talk to now except Malia, and I was still down in the dumps over the situation with Cash.

I opened EBY, a celebrity and gossip-style news site, and immediately saw an article about Cash on the home page. “Yup, can’t get away,” I mumbled. I opened the article and started to read, learning more about his trip and the movie behind it.

It was hard having my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—plastered everywhere I looked. I’d never had that problem before, pretty much nobody has aside from a select few, and knowing that I’d see his face on billboards, on television, in magazines, and wherever else was disheartening. Before I didn’t even have to see my exes again anywhere after we broke up. It was so much easier.

My shift was starting soon and I had to roll silverware with the other servers, so I put my phone away and left it on silent in my pocket. We weren’t supposed to have them on us during our shifts, but I didn’t care all that much anymore. I knew I wouldn’t get fired, especially with how good I was, so why even care?

•••

“Are you…no, never mind,” an older woman asked as I sat her table.

“I’m sorry?” I asked with a smile.

“It’s just, you look
so
familiar. I know this sounds nuts, but were you at a charity event just recently?” she asked.

She definitely looked like the type of woman who would be at one of those things. Her diamond necklace and tennis bracelet were probably worth more than my life. “Oh, yes, for the children’s hospital,” I said with a smile.

“You were with that movie fellow, Cash Hawthorne, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, we went together,” I replied, being both a little short and as polite as I could possibly be. I knew she wasn’t being rude or anything, but talking about Cash was the last thing I wanted to do right now. I knew I couldn’t get away from him.

“Are you two, you know, seeing one another?” she asked.

“Nope, we’re not. I think he’s actually overseas right now,” I said, trying to divert the conversation away from him and to what they wanted to drink.

“Oh, that’s too bad. Hopefully you’ll get to see him again soon,” she said.

“Yeah, maybe. Can I get you something to drink to get you two started?” I asked, smiling from ear to ear.

I felt daggers inside. Not towards her, she didn’t know—but okay, maybe a little towards her. Maybe I needed to move back home, to the prairies of Illinois, to get away from it all. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. I
could
always go for the weekend and part of the week, telling my professors some lie and doing my homework ahead of time. Sometimes you need a refresh to get on with life.

I went back to the service station and texted my mom, asking her if I could come visit sometime soon, like in a few days. “You have school,” she said.

“My professors are letting me go. I’m doing my stuff ahead of time,” I said, even though that was a lie.

“You can’t wait until you graduate?” she asked, not because she didn’t want me there, but because I knew she wanted me to stick around here for school.

“I’m not doing so well. I need you,” I said.

“I’ll look at flights now,” she replied.

I put my phone away, my heart feeling a little at ease, before I put in the order for that couple’s drinks and got some water for them. Maybe this refresh would be just what the doctor ordered.

•••

“I’ve found one flight that would work, but there’s a layover,” my mother said later that night.

“Where and for how long?” I asked.

“Minneapolis, and for about an hour and a half,” she replied.

“That isn’t too long. It’ll work,” I said.

“I’ll go ahead and book it. It’s for this Friday, late afternoon. You’ll have to wait a few days, but it’ll be worth it,” she said.

“Can’t wait,” I replied.

A few days was nothing when I thought about what was waiting for me at the end of the rainbow. Five nights away from here, away from the billboards and constant reminders, was enough time to regain my sanity before graduating and maybe even leaving this place. I liked Los Angeles, I did, but guys out here were all the same and sometimes it’s good to have a change of pace.

I finished my shift, making almost four hundred in tips, which I knew was going to be good pocket money for my trip. My parents footed the bill, but I did plan on paying them back, at least for half of it, because I did feel bad it was a short visit and they paid so much for the ticket.

“I’m going home in a few days,” I said to Malia as I walked in the front door.

“What?” she asked, in shock.

“It’s just for a few nights, five, and then I’ll be back,” I said.

“What about class?” she asked.

“I’ll talk to my professors. Three of the nights are this weekend, so I’ll only miss two days of classes. I’ll be back Wednesday for normal classes. My flight that morning is early, and with the time zone change I’ll be fine,” I said.

“Is it because of he who must not be named?” she asked.

“He’s not a dark wizard, you know. But yes, in a way,” I said.

“You know I’m here if you need me. I just didn’t want to push you,” she said.

“I know, and thank you. I just need to get away from this city, really. He’s everywhere, and I don’t want my mood now to mess up the end of the semester and year. I need to keep my grades up for graduation,” I said.

“True that. Employers will be looking at that kind of stuff,” she said.

“I’m going to go take a bath and then probably go in for the night. Thanks for understanding,” I said.

“Always,” she replied.

I lit some candles, turned off the lights, and tossed in a lavender-scented bath bomb before slipping into the tub and cracking open a single-serve bottle of wine. They were super cute, like miniature wine bottles, and much more convenient than a normal bottle. I turned on some light music from my iPod, playing over the tiny Bluetooth speakers we had in the bathroom, and relaxed as I felt my worries melt away. I was leaving soon, and that was all I needed to focus on.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Cash

They weren’t kidding when they said Thailand was humid.

I got off my plane a few hours earlier and started sweating immediately. The air was as thick as honey and I was sure I was about to drown in it. The studio paid for a nice place for me to stay, a type of villa-suite at the best hotel in the area, which was more of a resort than anything. There were a bunch of tourists, mainly looking like they were from my neck of the woods, but I didn’t interact with them. I holed up in my room and tried to get over the jetlag that had quickly taken over.

I was planned to start training in the morning, something I was both excited for and very not excited for at the same time. Learning new moves from martial arts masters was a great experience, but having to do all the work and countless strikes and hits wasn’t something to look forward to, especially in this humidity and heat.

Bentley had texted me a few hours ago, asking if I ended up leaving for Thailand and if I’d heard from Jenna. I told him yes and no, and he asked if I’d said anything to her like he told me to.

“No,” I replied curtly.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I can’t,” I replied.

“You can’t, or you won’t?” he asked.

“I don’t know, both,” I replied, as his quick-fire texting and questions threw me off.

“Dude, just do it. You know you need her,” he said.

“I have to go to bed, it’s late here. I have training in the morning,” I replied.

“Fine. Think about it, though. You can always go back to her. There’s an airport there,” he said.

I didn’t reply, though I did read his message a few times over. Was it that easy? Obviously there were planes here, and a big airport, but what about the consequences? Jenna did say she would be there for me when I got back, but somehow my mind convinced me that she really wouldn’t be. 

“No, I can’t think like that,” I said out loud, albeit softly.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth before climbing into bed and trying to just let myself fall asleep. I needed it.

•••

“I’m back, can we meet up?” I texted Jenna.

“Oh,” she replied.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” she said.

“What, why?” I asked.

“I’m seeing somebody,” she said.

“It’s only been a few months, though. You said you’d wait,” I said.

“I know what I said, but things change, Cash. You left me, and I couldn’t take the risk of you doing it again. You promised me you’d stay. You promised,” she said.

I quickly woke up, gasping for air, my hairline soaked before I wiped the sweat away with my hand. “What the,” I mumbled before starting to calm down.

I looked at the clock, about twenty minutes from my alarm going off, before I just turned it off and decided to get up. There was no way I was going to fall back asleep anyway. I opened the balcony door, exposing the pool and tons of flora below while I looked over the gardens.

My heart was still beating a bit quickly. I tried to make sense of my dream, which was probably the worst idea I could’ve had. I knew my subconscious was playing tricks on me, giving me my worst-case scenario, but it was so real. I could feel the phone in my hand and the emotions felt real, like I could actually be hurt in the dream. I shook it off, got in the shower, and got ready for my first day of training. I needed to hit something.

•••

“Good, good,” my instructor said.

We’d gone a couple hours, and all I’d really done was learn some basic stances starting from the very beginning. I knew I needed that foundation training, but all I wanted to do was kick some ass and take names later. I was too stressed.

“What’s wrong?” my instructor asked when I kept wobbling in my stance.

“I’m just not used to standing like this,” I replied.

“No, no, that’s not it. You’re too heavy,” he said in a thick accent.

“I’m actually in quite good shape,” I replied.

“No, no, not heavy weight, heavy soul,” he said. “It’s weighing you down.”

“A little,” I said.

“Not a little, a lot! I’m no good for you if you don’t expunge that,” he said.

“I can’t just expunge it. You can’t always fix everything,” I said.

“You can if you try to. Sometimes you can’t fix it in a normal way, but trying to fix it can sometimes fix it, you get it?” he asked.

“But if I try to fix it and then it fails, I’m not fixed,” I said.

“I’ve trained many students over many decades. I’ve seen people come and go, big and strong, small and weak. Sometimes you need to face those demons to make your mind and heart more at peace. It’s not always about the outcome, but rather the journey of getting there. Letting go and realizing that what happens is for the best,” he said.

•••

His words stuck with me throughout the rest of the day even though he didn’t mention it again. I never did contact Jenna after we broke up, even though I wanted to. Should I have? Should I have just shown up at her door and demanded she stay with me? I knew that sounded kind of controlling, but you know what I mean. The truth was that I couldn’t really see myself with anybody else, and all I wanted was to be with her. Could I go another month and a half to two months without any contact with her? Without seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, kissing her, or holding her? 

Maybe Bentley was also right that some things in life were more important than money or contracts. I knew that the studio wasn’t going to sue me or cancel the role if I went back to her. They only wanted me for the movie, and even if they did fire me, who cared. Other roles would come up, and they wouldn’t take me away in a flash to Thailand for two months, no matter how nice the country might be. 

“Is it okay if I leave a little bit early?” I asked my instructor.

“Go to her,” he said, smiling.

“Thank you,” I replied.

I ran out of the building and got into a taxi back to the hotel. I quickly packed my bags and checked out of the hotel before heading to the airport, where I knew there had to be a flight to Los Angeles soon. I didn’t even really plan on going home when I got there, instead straight to her place. I also didn’t plan to tell anybody I was leaving until I was on the flight and in the air. I knew there would be Wi-Fi on board.

There was one first-class ticket available once I got to the ticket counter, and even though the price was ridiculous, what I was doing right now was even more ridiculous and I paid the woman without thinking twice. It left in two hours, and as I left the counter and felt the adrenaline pumping through my system, I also felt the nerves.

I’d never done anything this crazy before. I wanted to text her, to say I was coming back for her, but I didn’t. I wanted it to be a surprise. My flight was landing sometime Thursday night their time, and I was going to get her back.

•••

“Ladies and gentlemen, we will be having to make an emergency landing in New York’s LaGuardia airport shortly. We are having some instrument problems, and air traffic control wants us to divert the plane to make sure nothing goes wrong with the rest of the flight. We aren’t sure how long the layover will be, but rest assured you are currently safe and we will be taking full steps to remedy the situation,” the pilot said over the speakers.

My stomach sank as I slid down in my seat and started to feel stressed out again. I knew I’d eventually get there, but I wanted to be there now. We were only about five hours away by air, and I was preparing what I was going to say and do when I arrived.

I’d texted my agent over the Wi-Fi in the plane, and he wasn’t pleased, to say the least. He started to get annoyed, but I told him this was what was happening and I wasn’t staying over there. Either the studio would work with me and train me in LA, or I’d pass on the role to somebody who could fulfill what they wanted. He finally got the hint and said he’d call the studio immediately so it didn’t look like I was planning on doing this all along. I told him not to bother me until tomorrow when I went to his office in person.

We landed in LaGuardia and I quickly sprung off the plane before finding a gate agent and asking about the situation. She told me what any of them would, that they were investigating now. It was the biggest non-answer of my life. “Are there any other flights?” I asked.

“None that I know of that have empty seats,” she said.

I sat down in the corner, going through my phone and trying to figure out the best course of action. I waited, then waited, and then waited some more before they finally came back over the speakers and said the flight would be delayed until tomorrow evening. I waited four hours for that announcement, and I couldn’t wait that long to get out of here. I was tired, dirty, hungry, and just about at my wits’ end.

I found one flight, leaving in the early afternoon, and I knew that was my best bet. I was going to have to stay in the airport for the rest of the time, but I was willing to do that to see her. They tried to tell me that I wouldn’t have my bags, but I didn’t even care. They’d get them to me, and there wasn’t anything particularly valuable in any of my suitcases. 

Boarding came and as I sat down in my seat, I fell asleep, as my likely bloodshot eyes were all too happy to finally rest a little. I was going to get to her, and I was going to get her back.