Casting Down Imaginations (29 page)

thirty eight

K
aren

I nodded Terrance’s way as he walked through the front door
and quickly returned to studying. I had a test tomorrow and was way behind with
my studying due to the crazy drama with my parents and spending time with
Terrance, and I had a lot of ground to cover.

He dropped his gym bag on the floor and looked around the
apartment. “What’s going on here?”

“Huh?” I asked, still halfway looking at him.

“You been here since one o’clock and you ain’t clean this
place up yet?”

I stopped what I was doing, surprised. It was true. The
dishes had been in the sink all day from last night and there were two loads of
unfolded laundry sprawled across the couch.

“Yeah. I was gonna get to it, but I got a lot of studying to
do.”

“So do I. On top of basketball.”

I tried to figure out what it was that I’d done to cause the
attitude he was throwing my way. “Are you okay?” I asked him.

“Hungry,” he grumbled and stalked into the kitchen. “You mean
to tell me you ain’t started dinner yet?” he bellowed at me.

“I been busy!” I snapped at him. “What’s wrong with your
hands? You know how to cook.”

“That’s not the point. You been here all afternoon and ain’t
done nothing but sit on your butt.”

“I’ve been busy,” I repeated.

“Look, I didn’t want to have to say anything, ‘cause I didn’t
want to hurt your feelings and I know you been going through a lot with your
parents and everything. But you gotta start doing your part.”

“My part?”

“Yeah. I’m taking care of you. I’m paying the bills. I got
you a car. I helped your mama out. The least you could do is keep the house
clean and have dinner ready when I get home.”

“Why are you trying to act like I’m just the nastiest and
laziest person in the world? You know I cook and clean all the time.”

“Well lately you been slipping on it.”

“Because I’ve been busy, I keep trying to tell you, if you’d
listen.”

“I don’t want no lip about it, alright. Just get it done.”

I chuckled sarcastically at him. “Just get it done? I am not
your maid.”

He retrieved his gym bag and retreated to his room. “I’m not
arguing about this with you,” he told me over his shoulder. “Come get me when
my food is ready.”

I sat in my seat and watched him close his bedroom door
behind him, trying my best to figure out what just happened. But I refused to
become angry, even though I wanted to so bad. Instead of going off on him, I
put my books away and went into the kitchen to make dinner. What choice did I
have? When you lived with someone, you had to play by their rules.

thirty nine

Anaya

I was sitting on the floor of my living room folding laundry
when a piece of paper slid underneath my front door. Curious, I crawled over
and read it, and a smile came over my face.

Girl
With No Name,

I guess I made you mad last time. My bad. I didn’t mean it.
I’m making tonight a movie night and wanted to know if you wanted to watch with
me. I hope you say yeah. Just come over when you get ready.

-A

“He is not gon’ give up,” I laughed. I already ate his
chicken and turned him down. What else did he need me to do to prove that I
wasn’t interested?

I read the letter again. I hated to admit it, but it was
sweet.

“I’m not going to his place,” I said to myself, trying to
push away the thought of all the food he could have in his fridge. “It’s silly.
Silly, silly, silly.”

I returned to folding my laundry, but the more I folded the
more I thought about Ayden. Maybe he was just a sweet guy who really didn’t
want anything from me. Maybe all he really wanted was to get to know me.

“Uuurrrggghhh,” I grunted. Why was I trying to give him the
benefit of the doubt? I didn’t even like him. He wasn’t cute and he was sure to
end up being a dog just like David and Reese and every other man in the world
besides Deacon Patterson. I’ll go to my grave old and lonely before I let
anyone else play me. I will never make the mistake of falling in love again.
Ever.

I sighed, still thinking. I was off tomorrow, so it wasn’t
like I had to get up in the morning. And I didn’t have anything to eat, so if I
went over there I could probably just ask for a snack and try to eat it slowly
so I could get full off of it. But I’d only stay for one movie. After that I’d
get up and leave.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I said to myself and got up
and prepared to go to Ayden’s.

I took a shower, then dressed myself in a pair of jeans and a
cute top and quickly styled my hair. I didn’t want to make myself too over the
top, but I figured the least I could do was make myself presentable. It wasn’t
like I had a long line of people trying to be my friend, anyway. Maybe we could
just be cool. I owed it to myself to at least try.

I put on some makeup and body spray, then went over to
Ayden’s.

“Look who it is,” he said as he opened the door. “The girl
with no name from next door.”

I was nervous. Maybe this wasn’t the wisest decision.
Especially since I left my pocket knife at home.

“Can I come in?” I asked.

He opened the door wider and moved aside so I could walk in.

“Please do.”

I walked in and sat on his couch. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So, what movies did you rent?” I asked, trying to break the
ice.

“I got some old gangsta movies,” he answered. “You like
those?”

I frowned and shook my head.

“Oh. Well… I got cable. We can just watch TV if you want.”

I nodded, feeling awkward.

He turned the TV on and handed me the remote. “Whatever you
wanna watch,” he said.

I took the remote from him and flipped through the channels.
I finally stopped when I found an interior decorating show.

He chuckled. “The girl with no name likes to decorate?” he
asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. If I had the money I would do a lot of
things with my place.”

He seemed impressed. “Wwwwhhhhhaaaatttt? The girl with no
name just told me something about herself?”

I looked down at my lap, not liking that I’d just done that.
I was just supposed to be watching a movie, and here I was blabbing my mouth.

“It’s cool,” he insisted. “You just let me know that you’re
human.”

I stared at the TV, hoping it would show him that I wasn’t in
the mood for conversation. He didn’t get my drift.

“How about I tell you something about me? Then maybe I can
finally learn what your name is.”

I didn’t say anything. He kept talking.

“Well, as you know my name is Ayden. I’m a senior marketing
major at DU. I’m from Kansas City, I like Jazz music, and my middle name is
Tyrone. But don’t tell nobody because I think it’s country and it might ruin my
rep.”

I tightened my lips to keep from laughing.

“What was that?” he asked, smiling. “Was that a laugh trying
to come through? Did I just see the girl with no name almost laugh?”

I stopped resisting and let a smile come through.

He gasped. “There it is!” he laughed. “I did it! I did it! I
finally got her to smile!”

“Shut up,” I joked.

“
And
she told me to shut up!” he exclaimed. “I got two
for two!”

“God, you’re corny,” I said.

He smiled. “Hey, I do what I do.”

I went back to watching the television.

“So, you gon’ tell me what your name is?”

I shook my head, my eyes still on the TV.

“Oh, that’s cold.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “It is what it is.”

“Alright. I’m gon’ let you get away with it. You ain’t got to
tell me nothing about you… Even though I just told you all my business… You
know, so you would be more comfortable and everything… But you know, you ain’t
got to tell me nothing… I let you come in my house and eat my chicken and watch
my cable TV and everything…”

“Alright,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Kim. My name is Kim,” I
lied just to pacify him.

“Kim,” he repeated. “That’s nice. It fits you.”

I shook my head, trying to figure out how that was possible.
He didn’t know a thing about me, and I was trying to keep it that way.

“So you gon’ tell me anything else?” he asked.

“What do you wanna know?”

“It doesn’t have to be too personal. What do you do for a
living?”

I chuckled. There was no way in the world he was finding out
I was a stripper. He wasn’t going to treat me the way Jeff and all of the
sleazy clients I danced for did.

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

“Nope. Not gonna tell ya.”

He laughed. “You something else, Kim. Since you into
decorating and all, what would you do with this place?”

I frowned at him. “You can’t be asking me for my ideas. You
got to pay me for my advice.”

“How much?”

“You can’t afford me,” I laughed.

“Oh yeah? Well you know I’m about to go to graduate school.
I’m ‘bout to make some serious paper, girl.”

“Yeah, well… Call me in a few years, and I’ll see what I can
do.”

“Ooohhh,” he howled. “You bad, girl. You got me again.”

I laughed at him. Maybe getting to know him wasn’t going to
be that bad. He hadn’t disrespected me as of yet.

“I do what I do,” I said.

“That’s cold. That’s so cold. You breakin’ my heart.”

“You’ll be alright.”

I glanced away from the TV and found him smiling at me. It
was a different kind of smile, though. It wasn’t a simple smile or a fake
smile. It was just a genuine smile, like he thought I was funny. Like he really
didn’t want anything from me. And I liked it.

**********

“I was the last leg at the state relays…” Ayden told me. “And
I dropped the baton.”

I gasped, horrified at his sports story. “You dropped the
baton!” I exclaimed.

He hung his head down in shame. “Yes, yes,” he pretended to
cry. “I know. I shamed my team… My school… And my country… I don’t deserve to
live.”

I picked up one of the pillows from the couch and threw it at
him.

“Shame on you,” I laughed. “How could you do such a horrible
thing?”

“Please don’t make me feel any worse about it,” he said.
“That was like four years ago, and my old friends from high school still won’t
let me live it down. They’ll probably play a tape of it at my high school
reunion.”

“You deserve it,” I fussed. “That was so horrible.”

He shrugged. “Hey, it wasn’t like I did it on purpose. Stuff
happens.”

“Yeah, and
it
happened
that day. I know you
must have felt so bad.”

“I felt horrible. But I still got offered a scholarship.”

“Why didn’t you take it?”

“I loved to run, but I knew that to be a college athlete you
had to have passion along with that talent. I just didn’t love it that much.”

I nodded. “Well, at least you were true to yourself,” I told
him. “At least you didn’t let anyone else make you do what you didn’t wanna
do.”

“Yeah, I guess. And please believe that people were trying to
shove that scholarship down my throat.”

I understood the pressure. It was the reason I was in Daytown
now. If I would have been strong enough to tell Deacon that I didn’t want to go
to school, I probably wouldn’t be in the situation that I was in now.

Ayden smiled at me again, just as he had the entire five
hours that we’d been talking. It was way past the time for me to go home, but I
found myself really enjoying his company. So far I’d learned that he was an
only child like me, we both had the same professor for sociology, and we both
liked strawberry ice cream.

“You got a boyfriend, Kim?” he asked out of nowhere.

“Why?” I asked, suddenly uneasy.

“I ain’t trying to make you nervous or nothing. I’m just
saying. It’s after midnight and you up in my house. I got the right to know if
I’m disrespecting another man or not.”

“No, I don’t have a boyfriend,” I sassed. “But since you
asked, you got a girlfriend?”

“Why you wanna know?” he teased. “You like me or something?”

“Please. Ain’t nobody even on you like that. I just asked
‘cause you asked.”

“Yeah, yeah. But no, I don’t have a girlfriend. Haven’t had
one for quite some time.”

“Oh yeah? Why, you can’t commit?”

“No, that’s not it. I always commit to the women in my life.
I don’t see the point of not committing.”

“Oh.” His answer surprised me. I wasn’t ready for him to be
so genuine.

“What about you? Why you don’t have a man?”

I twisted my face at him. “Why you gotta ask like that?”

“I’m just tryin’ to see what the deal is. You obviously got a
trust issue, that’s why it took forever for me to learn your name. I just wanna
know why. You cute, so I know that looks ain’t it. You ain’t a dumb chick. You
obviously know how to get yours, you staying in apartments like these. So
what’s the deal wit’ you, Kim? What’s your story?”

I sighed. “I don’t feel like getting into all that right
now.”

His face saddened. “There we go again with that trust issue.
You been here all night, and I haven’t made not one pass at you because I
respect you. But it’s cool. You ain’t got to trust me. Just remember that I
ain’t the guy who did you wrong. Whoever that clown was, that was his mistake.
But please don’t make me pay for it, because all I’m tryin’ to do is get to
know you.”

I leaned my head back against the couch, feeling guilty. I
didn’t want to talk about Reese or David. If I did, I knew I was going to cry,
and I didn’t want to be that vulnerable. It took forever for me to get over
David, and I still wasn’t over Reese or the baby that I killed for him. But
there was a warmth about Ayden that made me want to share with him. I felt safe
with him. I felt like I could trust him, and it made me nervous, because that
was something I never wanted to give another guy again.