Catch Me Falling (12 page)

Her heart sank. “I have to work tomorrow. Early.”

He grinned a wolfish grin. “I can be quick.”

Her heart thudded loudly in her chest. Well then. “Let’s go.”

He took her hand and together they left the restaurant.

“
S
o how was your date
?” Alexa asked, settling into her normal chair opposite Jill.

“It was good,” Jill said, and there was a faint smile on her face that had not been there earlier.

Alexa raised her eyebrows. “Still casual?”

Jill grinned. “No,” she said. “We're exclusive now.”

Alexa was impressed. Jill had dated before, but this was the first man to make it past casual. “What, do I get to meet him?”

“When.” Jill paused and looked at her with wicked eyes. “When we do a double date.”

Alexa’s cheeks flamed.

“You’re totally dating him.”

Alexa ducked her head.

“Ooh, it’s official now?”

“Shut up.” Alexa smacked her lightly with a file.

“It totally is.”

“You talk like a twelve year old girl.”

“A twelve year old with a vocabulary,” Jill said in a sing-song voice. She leaned forward, her voice conspiratory. “Is he good in bed?”

“Jill!”

“That’s another yes.”

Alexa groaned.

“C’mon, Alexa.” Jill batted her eyes. “Live a little.”

“Hello?” Isaac stood just around the hallway, his eyebrows raised.

Jill turned to him, her smile bright. “Ears burning?”

“Should they be?” His eyes turned to Alexa, and there was an amused question there.

“I was just telling Alexa about the double date we’re going on on Friday. You and her, me and my – boyfriend.”

Isaac’s eyebrows raised even higher. “Oh?”

“This Friday, seven o’clock. I’ll drive her so you don’t have to worry about it. She’ll email you the address.” Jill beamed at him.

Isaac blinked.

Jill had that effect on people.

“Okay.” He looked between both of them, amusement clear in his eyes. “I came by with a file.”

“I will take that.” Alexa stood, walked over to him and plucked him from him.

He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

Alexa’s cheeks were bright red.

“Alexa and Isaac, sittin’ in a tree.”

“Jill!”

“I can see why she’s your friend.” Isaac’s grin was playful. “I’ve got to go to work. I just wanted to see you.”

His words sent a thrill through Alexa’s body. He wanted to see her. He had gone out of his way to return a file, and to see her. “Okay,” she managed.

“See you later.” One more quick kiss, and then he was back down the hall.

Alexa turned to Jill and held up a hand. “No more songs.”

“Spoilsport.” Jill huffed, but it couldn’t hide her grin. “I’m looking forward to Friday.”

Alexa rolled her eyes, but she was grinning too. “Me too.”

A
lexa sat
in Jill’s apartment, on Jill’s bed, her eyes on the clothes strewn about the room.

“You could just wear the dinner dress again,” Jill said.

Alexa frowned at her. “But he's already seen that.”

Jill held up her hands. “Woah. I didn't know you cared.”

“I don't,” Alexa said, looking around the room. She had tried on four pants suits, three dresses, and none of them had been the one.

Jill chuckled. “Could've fooled me.”

Alexa ignored her and pulled off the dress, her hands on her hips as she surveyed the last few options in Jill’s closet. She grabbed an emerald green one with long sleeves. It was warm, or about as warm as mid-August got, but she had to have long sleeves because of her scars. “What are you wearing?”

“Clothes,” Jill said absently. She smiled at Alexa but only briefly met her eyes.

“You okay?” Alexa asked, stopping before she finished zipping up the dress. It felt oddly like role reversal, like she was taking on Jill's part as advisor that she had occupied several times over the past couple weeks.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jill said, waving a hand in Alexa’s direction.

Alexa settled on the bed next to her, ignoring the half-zipped dress. “Are you nervous I won't like him?”

Jill coughed and didn’t look her way. “I honestly didn't think Isaac would say yes.”

Alexa’s cheeks turned red. That had surprised her, too. But he had, and there they were. “But he did.” Alexa stood, looking at herself in the mirror. “Can you zip me?”

Jill hummed, standing behind her and zipping up the dress. “Yes, and here we are.”

Alexa checked herself out and smiled in faint satisfaction. The emerald green made her eyes pop, and the long, lacey sleeves covered her scars. From her collar down it was solid green, but with an intricate beaded design in the shape of a dragon. It hugged her body, accentuated the length of her legs. She felt sexy, suave. Sophisticated. “I think this is the one.”

“It looks great on you,” Jill said.

Alexa grinned shyly, but the grin faded when she caught sight of Jill’s face. She looked nervous. Why? “Are you worried we won’t get along?” Something was bothering Jill and she couldn't figure out what it was.

Jill laughed. “No, that's not the problem.” She looked away from Alexa, fiddled with her hands, the hem of her sweater. She hadn’t gotten dressed yet. “Look, I have a confession.”

Alexa waited patiently. It couldn’t be as bad as Jill thought it was.

“My date tonight, um.” She paused. “Isn’t a he, she’s a she.”

Alexa stared at her for a split second. “Your date's a woman?”

Jill nodded, not looking at Alexa. “Sorry,” she said. “I meant to tell you, but – there never seemed to be a good time.”

Alexa hugged her. The dress bent well when she sat, which was good, considering they were going to dinner. “Does she make you happy?”

Jill’s smile was bigger this time and she seemed to relax. “She does.”

“That’s what I care about.” Alexa hugged her one last time, then stood and twirled. “Think he’ll like it?”

“Definitely.” Jill gave her two thumbs up.

“Are you nervous?” Alexa asked. There was still makeup and hair to do, but they had time.

“Not anymore.” Jill grinned at her.

Alexa grinned back. “Now, let's make sure you have a kick ass outfit.”

This time, they went through most of the wardrobe for Jill, picking and choosing as they went. “This one looks good,” Alexa said, admiring Jill as she turned in a circle.

Jill looked at her and smiled. It was her first real smile of the day, lighting up her dark brown eyes. “She’ll like it.”

“What's her name?”

Jill hesitated less than a second. “Sarah.”

“Pretty name,” Alexa said. She hugged Jill around the shoulders. “Up to helping me with my hair?”

“It’s not my fault you don’t know how to do it,” Jill chuckled.

“I can!” Alexa protested. “I just can’t do the fancy updos.”

Jill cocked her head to the side, eyebrows raised.

“I’ll do your makeup.”

“Fair’s fair.” Jill grinned at her and led the way to the bathroom where all the supplies were.

“
R
eady
?” Jill asked, the first one out of the car.

“Yes.” No. No, no no no. Why was she nervous? It wasn’t her first date with him.

It was her first double-date, though. Her first double-date with Jill, who could be a firecracker.

Alexa led the way in, Jill a half step behind her. Their dates were already waiting inside. Jill had picked an elegant Italian restaurant. Alexa already liked it, with its dark colors and bright lights. It felt cozy, homey.

Alexa stopped when she caught sight of Isaac. He was dressed - nicely was an understatement. He wore an elegantly tailored black suit with a crisp white shirt, gleaming white cufflinks catching her attention. Suddenly she felt underdressed in her elegant dress. Was it too cheap looking? He fit in so nicely. She probably looked comical.

Isaac was next to a beautiful lady who was a little shorter than Alexa. Long brown hair done up in an updo, an elegant purple dress. Jill went over and kissed her softly on the cheek. Alexa looked at Isaac, who raised his eyebrows at her with a smile. Good. He didn't seem bothered by it.

“You look nice,” he said, leaning down to kiss her gently.

Her stomach fluttered and she was certain her cheeks were red. His eyes were warm – not heated, not sex-on-legs, but affectionate. She liked it. “So do you,” she said, hoping it didn’t sound clichéd.

“There are annual formal events we have to attend as partners,” he said, glancing around the restaurant before he turned back to her. “It’s easier to buy a black tie suit than to rent one.”

“Oh.” That made sense. She glanced at Jill, waiting to see what to do next. They had a reservation. Didn’t they?

The tall man who Alexa guessed was the maître d’ bowed slightly at their group. “This way, Sir and Madams,” he said.

They ended up sitting at a nice little square table, Isaac and Alexa on one side, Jill and her date – Sarah, Alexa remembered – on the other.

It sent a thrill through Alexa’s body, having him that close. His thigh was touching hers, their elbows close enough to touch. It was ridiculous that she was so giddy over this, but she liked it. Isaac’s presence was comforting.

“Shall we have wine?” The maître d' asked.

Alexa looked at the others, who nodded. “A glass,” she agreed.

“I’ll pick.” Jill grinned at Alexa.

Alexa laughed, felt Isaac’s eyes on her, quizzical. “I’m bad at remembering what wine is what,” she murmured to him.

The corner of his lips tugged up into a smile, but something felt forced about it.

“Are you okay?” Alexa asked, her voice quiet enough that only he could hear.

Isaac looked at his glass for several seconds before he shifted his gaze to her. “I didn’t sleep well.”

“So how was your evening?” Sarah asked before Alexa could say anything, glancing between the other three.

“Uneventful,” Alexa said, trying to keep a straight face and cracking when Jill snorted.

“There was of course, the standard apparel selection process,” Jill added. Sarah laughed.

Isaac put a hand on Alexa’s thigh, and she took a sip of the freshly-poured wine to keep from blushing. It didn’t work very well. “So you really do try on several outfits?” He tilted his head to the side.

“Yes.” It was Jill who answered.

“What about you?” Sarah asked Isaac, raising her eyebrows.

Isaac glanced down at his suit. “This is the only one I have, but I did try on a different shirt.”

“I bet his bedroom doesn’t look like mine,” Jill quipped.

Alexa bit back a laugh at the thought of the controlled, dignified Isaac trying on different suits in the mirror. But since that involved him taking off part of the suit, her mind moved to other, more interesting thoughts.

“Alexa's blushing,” Jill said wickedly. “Wonder what she's thinking about.”

Alexa wished she had something to throw at Jill in the most mature display of mild aggravation. But she didn't. “Nothing.” Her cheeks were even redder now. She took another sip of her wine. “So, how long have you been together?” she asked Jill and Sarah.

Jill looked at Sarah and Sarah looked back.

“A couple months?” Sarah guessed. “Something like that.”

Isaac’s hand slid up her leg and she hastily took another drink of her wine. Oh no. Between both of them she was going to be chronically red.

“What about you two?” Sarah asked, using her fork to point between Alexa and Isaac.

Alexa coughed. “Two days?” She glanced at him.

“Something like that.” He chuckled.

Jill said nothing, instead holding a hand over her mouth. Alexa guessed she was stifling a laugh.

Sarah took a sip of her wine and smiled. “So what do you guys enjoy doing for fun?”

As dinner wore on, the chat fluctuated, going from small talk to talking origins to anything else that could be discussed. Isaac was quieter, but that didn’t bother her. He said he hadn’t slept well, and Alexa could understand. She, too, had had sleepless nights, the nights she just couldn’t get settled and trust sleep to come. All of her worries had been unfounded.

Finally, the food was done, and it was time to figure out how to split the check. “I’ll pay for you.” Isaac stroked her thigh with his thumb and then nodded to the waiter.

“I’ve got you,” Jill grinned at Sarah.

Alexa smiled at Isaac, but inwardly she felt a little uneasy.

“I spent money on you and you can’t even look me in the eyes.” Damien sounded scornful. “You’d be a shitty hooker.”

Alexa lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, her dress half-ripped off of her. It was her fault. She should have done what he wanted, should have kissed him, should have loved him. But it was hard when her shoulders ached from the half-healed burns.

“You’ll stay here until you learn your lesson.”

She heard him get off the bed, go out of the bedroom of the apartment they shared together. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

“Alexa?” Jill’s voice was concerned, but it snapped her out of her reverie.

A
lexa took a deep breath
, dragging herself out of her memories. “Sorry, I was thinking about work.” She offered the three of them an apologetic smile, shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She looked at Isaac, at his warm blue eyes, and willed the bad feelings to go away. He wasn’t Damien.

“Let’s go.” Isaac stood, waiting for her to stand, extending a hand in her direction. Jill and Sarah went ahead, and Alexa hesitated. She took a deep breath, pushing away the uncertainty that tore at her, and took his hand.

His hand was warm around hers, their fingers twined together. It grounded her, made her breathing easier. Her panic had eased and she felt more comfortable around him. When they made it outside, Jill and Sarah were standing by the car, standing close to each other as they talked.

“Did you have fun?” Isaac’s gaze was warm.

“Yes.”

He tugged her close, wrapped his arms around her. Alexa inhaled deeply, smelling the evergreen, his smell, and relaxed against his chest. She liked it, being so close to him. She felt safe with him, safe from the rest of the world. “Thank you for coming,” she whispered.

He stroked her hair, kissed the top of her head. “You’re welcome.”

“Alexa?” Jill’s voice interrupted them.

Alexa pulled back from Isaac reluctantly, turning to look at her friend. Jill looked sheepish. Had something happened?

“Do you think Isaac could take you home?” Jill asked, apologetic.

Alexa glanced at Isaac who hadn’t said anything.

“Are things okay?” Alexa glanced at Sarah.

“She has to leave tomorrow and won’t be back for a week.” Jill’s cheeks flushed red. “Sorry. I didn’t know until now.”

“Oh.” Alexa knew what that meant, what Jill wanted.

“I can take her home.” Isaac nodded to Jill, smiled politely at her.

Jill beamed. “Thank you.” She leaned forward, hugged Alexa, then shook Isaac’s hand. She winked at Alexa, ignoring Alexa’s embarrassed scowl, and then headed back to Sarah.

“Are you ready to go home?” he asked.

She looked at him, smiled. Her gaze roamed over the sharp angles of his face, his rugged jaw, his hard body. He was sexy, and at least for the moment, he was hers. “Yes.”

He leaned in and kissed her, then unlocked the car.

They got inside and buckled up. It wasn’t that far, really. He had been driving for about three minutes before she spoke. “Thank you,” she said, and she meant it. He didn’t have to drive her home.

He glanced at her, and there was that faint smile on his lips. “Any time.”

The rest of the car ride was silent, the radio playing softly in the background. Alexa didn’t mind. She didn’t feel like she had to talk with him. Words felt extraneous with him, like they weren’t needed. Their communication could be done in touches, in looks. Was that normal? Was that a good sign? She didn’t know. Damien had never been a good communicator, even for a lawyer. His fists didn’t count.

Out of habit her hand brushed across her middle and she laid an arm across her stomach. It was protective, guarding herself. It gave her a little bit of protection in case Damien had targeted her sensitive spots. But her bruises were gone, and Isaac wasn’t going to hurt her. She didn’t need that.

His hand settled on her thigh, thumb brushing her skin in slow, gentle motions. Feelings welled up in her and for a moment she felt like she was going to cry. He was so kind to her. Gentle. When he kissed her, he was tender, even when it was a darker, harsher kiss. She felt like he cared, and that scared her.

She was falling in love and she didn’t like it.

“We’re here,” he said, pulling up to the gated parking area.

“Pound three-six-two-four.” She watched him enter the code and pull into the gated parking area. “There’s an elevator on the far side.” It wasn’t that her apartment complex was unduly rich, but there was an exclusive parking garage that linked to elevators that led to their floors.

Okay, it was kind of rich. But her salary was pretty good, after all. And Jill’s parents gave her plenty to live off of.

“Thank you,” Alexa said when he pulled to a stop, not sure what else to say.

He put the car into park, paused, his deep blue eyes meeting hers. She stared back, her heart beating fast. He reached a hand up and cupped her face with one impossibly large hand. “Good night, Alexa Matthews.” He leaned forward and kissed her, his soft lips moving against hers in a kiss that made her tingle from head to toe. Her body was heating up, heat coiling in her stomach, between her legs.

His warm hand was on her thigh, and it felt like he was burning her. Then his hand slid down, underneath her dress, and her breath caught. She whimpered into his mouth. He tilted his head, deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against hers. The console between them jabbed into her as she leaned closer to him, but she didn’t care.

When he pulled back, his hand was still up her dress, fingers splayed across her skin, and her breathing was absolutely wrecked. “You should probably go,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss her again, and again, his lips butterfly soft against hers.

“What if I don’t want to go?” she murmured against his lips, feeling heady, high off of his scent, off of him.

His lips moved against hers, a long, lingering kiss. “This car isn’t comfortable for sex.”

She bit back a laugh, kissed him again. “Fine.”

“Come to my lake house next weekend.” He pulled back, his hand disappearing off of her thigh. He kissed her jawline, kissed the sensitive spot underneath her ear.

She shivered when he kissed underneath his ear, melted into him. She wanted more of him. “Okay.”

He shifted in his seat, kissed her one last time. “Sleep well.”

She smiled at him, then regretfully picked up her purse. “You too.”

Then she got out of the car, checking herself in the camera on her phone. She didn’t look too wrecked, not really. Her hair was mussed, her cheeks flushed, her lips slick from the kisses. At least her dress didn’t look wrinkled. Hopefully her neighbors wouldn’t notice.

She got in the elevator and pressed the button for her floor, mentally crossing her fingers in the hope she wouldn’t see anyone she knew. Elderly Mrs. Benson next door would probably spread rumors if she saw Alexa like that. Oops.

Having made it to her apartment safely, she ducked inside, put down her keys, and changed into pajamas. It was late. She was tired. But the thought of seeing Isaac next week made her smile.

I
saac drove
to his favorite bar. He didn’t have to work until Monday, which meant he could have a couple drinks and relax. Spend time trying not think about what had happened at dinner.

What had happened all week.

He nodded to the bartender, who immediately poured him his favorite drink without saying a word. Scotch on the rocks. Isaac looked at the glass, swirled it, then took a sip, closing his eyes as the scotch burned its way down his throat. He wouldn't drink too much. He still had to drive home, after all. But for now, for at least a little while, he needed the scotch to help him forget. To make that suffocating feeling go away.

He knocked back more of the scotch, then tapped for another one.

“Bad day?” the bartender asked.

“Women,” Isaac said with a shrug. Exhaustion combined with alcohol meant his mind was clouding already, the scotch warming his belly.

The bartender was nodding, even as he mixed drinks for the other patrons. “They cause a lot of problems,” he agreed.

Isaac let out a short laugh. That was true.

“You married?” The bartender asked.

Isaac shook his head.

“I am,” the bartender said amiably, handing a drink to another patron with a smile. “Seven years now,” he said, and the way he sounded proud of it drew Isaac's attention. The bartender studied Isaac for a few moments between drinks. “Your girlfriend?” he asked.

No
formed on Isaac’s lips, until he realized that wasn’t the answer. “I don’t know.”

The bartender raised his eyebrows. “Why not?”

It felt almost like an interrogation, but the scotch had warmed him enough that he didn't particularly care. He liked her. He liked talking about her. Even though he shouldn’t. “Complicated.”

He chuckled. “Women are,” he agreed. “Not big on dating?”

“Not worth it.” Isaac shrugged.

The bartender looked at him and raised his eyebrows. “You'll keep having trouble with women if you think about it like that,” he said.

Isaac snorted. “You ever thought about going to medical school and becoming a psychiatrist?”

The bartender let out a laugh. “No, I learn all my therapy from here.” He cast his gaze around the bar, his eyes affectionate.

Isaac had to admit that was probably true. If anything, the ER had taught him more about people than he would have guessed. He tossed back the rest of his scotch.

The bartender raised his eyebrows. “Got a designated driver?”

“If I tell you yes, do I get more alcohol?” The alcohol made him feel light-headed, made him care less about life.

“No.” The bartender chuckled. “Now, you're stuck here until it works out of your system.”

“You’re like my mother,” Isaac said with a sigh. He didn't really know if it was true. Maybe his grandmother, but his mother had never lived long enough to see him drink.

His mother. Why had he gone down that thought trail? It made him feel even more depressed. Maybe drinking hadn’t been such a good idea, even if it did normally work.

“Thanks for the advice,” Isaac said, hoping the bartender took the hint. And he did. He nodded, smiled, and focused on his job.

Isaac sat there at the bar, staring idly at his phone. What was Alexa doing? What was she thinking? Was she asleep already, or was she laying in bed, not able to sleep? What had he thought, agreeing to date her? He was trouble. He was danger. She was sweet and sexy and
good
and he didn’t deserve her.

He would ruin her.

Instead they were dating. A couple. Committed. They did domestic things, like grocery shopping. Like cooking. Contented sex, on non-adventurous flat surfaces. There hadn’t even been so much of that lately, content or otherwise. It was the first time he had done anything like that. The first time had trusted anyone that much.

Sometimes he still felt like he was suffocating. Like he was drowning in warmth and molten stickiness. He was burning up from the inside. It felt impossible, sometimes, being surrounded by the good when he knew he didn’t deserve it.

When it was just a matter of time before it was all taken away from him.

He took a shaky breath and downed the glass of water the bartender handed him.

There was something about her that he couldn't pull away from. She was like a drug, one he couldn’t get enough of. He tapped the bar for more water. It wasn't scotch, it didn't have a burn, but at the moment it was better than nothing.

The bartender looked at him and raised his eyebrows.

Isaac shook his head. He didn’t want a lecture. He didn’t want to talk to anybody about Alexa, about feelings. About his parents. It was his problem and his problem alone.

Finishing the second cup of water, he left payment on the glass and left.

When he got home he cleaned out his pockets, stripped down to his boxers. Looked at his phone and thought about her. Part of him wanted to reach out to her, see what she was doing. Create some sort of tether to the modern world.

But he didn’t.

Instead he went to bed. Sleep would come and, when it did, he wasn’t ready. He never was.