Catch Me Falling (13 page)

I
t started
out the same way it always did. He was young. Seven. Headed home from school. It was fall, the leaves on the trees changing colors, some starting to drop. Soon there would be piles on the ground that he, Daniel, and Julie could jump in and mess up, while Mom or Dad looked on with rueful smiles.

He was the last one hope, like he always was. This time the door was ajar, just a smidge. His heart started beating faster, his breath catching in his throat.

Dream-Isaac didn’t know what was coming. Adult-Isaac did.

The car was there. Where were his parents? There was no answer at the door, no familiar smells of his mother cooking in the kitchen. He shifted uneasily, tried to figure out what to do. He was shaking now, his hands barely able to push the door open. It swung with an eerie squeak.

Fear made goosebumps prickle up and down his skin, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. Two more steps inside, and he bit back a scared whimper. Blood covered the far wall, splatters and splotches, dribs and drabs. What he now recognized as arterial spurts sprayed here and there.

There was a body on the floor. Just one this time. Isaac’s heart was beating so fast Isaac thought he was going to pass out.

There was a figure crouched over the body, a bloody knife still in his hand. He was dressed in Dad’s clothes. Jeans, polo shirt. Casual.

But when the figure looked up, Isaac saw himself standing over Alexa’s body, blood everywhere. It was him. He had killed her.

A sob caught in his throat, and he watched dream-him plunge the knife into her body again.

Isaac bolted straight up, hyperventilating. Threw himself out of the bed and into the bathroom, where he was sick.

That had been one of the worst nightmares. At least he didn’t thrash in his sleep anymore. But he hadn’t wanted anyone to witness those. To see his vulnerabilities. Alexa had seen some of them. She had gotten lucky, the last time they had slept together. It had been a safe night.

Or maybe it was just her. Maybe she fixed him, solved him, made him whole. Made up for the fact that he wasn’t a whole person, not with his family gone.

He grabbed some coffee and sank onto the couch. Maybe he would go to the lake house, see Ellie. Try to cook her dinner.

He snorted at the thought. He doubted she wanted burned food.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket he looked at it. Turned it around in his palm, as if it would have all the answers. He wanted to call her. Hear her voice. It would soothe him.

But it was six a.m., and he would probably wake her up. Especially after a late night.

He found himself dialing her number, listening to the dull ring of the telephone. One ring, two, three, four. He went to hang up the phone.

“Hello?” Her voice was groggy, but it was there.

He inhaled shakily, hating the relief, the comfort that coursed through him. “Sorry.”

He could hear her on the other end shuffling something around. “Sorry?” She sounded a bit more awake this time, more alert. “Is something wrong? Are you okay?”

He cleared his throat, embarrassment coursing through him. “I’m fine.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone. “Okay.” She sounded confused, and he couldn’t blame her.

“Go back to sleep, okay?” He tilted his head back, looking at the ceiling.

“Kay.” She yawned, and it sounded adorable even though he couldn’t hear her. “Later.”

“Later.” He ended the call, tossed the phone onto the couch next to him. He pressed a hand to his face, breathing as deeply as he could. He was so far gone for her. He was in love.

He got up and got some more coffee. Thought about her. Wished she was there.

W
hen Alexa got
into her office, Claire was leaning against the wall by her door.

Alexa’s stomach dropped and she tried not to show the fear on her face. “Hello,” she said, a warm smile on her face. She tried to seem casual, tried to seem relaxed, even though inside it felt like she was having a heart attack. She studied her face, her expression and, while there didn't seem to be the normal foreboding look of doom on Claire’s face, Claire still didn't look entirely pleased. Alexa wasn't quite sure what that meant. Good things? Or bad?

“I have something to talk to you about,” Claire said in her usual stern manner.

Alexa swallowed but kept her smile. “My office or yours?”

Claire smiled her razor-thin smile. “Either's fine,” she said.

Part of Alexa relaxed a little bit, because if it had been something bad it would've been Claire's office. “Here, come in,” she said. Claire nodded, following her inside. It was easy enough for Alexa to settle in, pretend she'd been working the entire morning. Admittedly, she still was an hour early.

Claire settled into the chair opposite her, watching as Alexa went through her routine of pulling out her notepad and pen.

“What can I help you with?” Alexa asked, her face the epitome of professionalism.

“There's a conference in Baltimore,” Claire said. “A law conference.” She looked at Alexa, studying her. “I think might be good for you to go, get some distance from here and get a break from the city.”

Alexa swallowed, nervous. Why was the hospital being nice? Had they heard about the offer from the Sinclair firm? Still, it was tempting. The hospital had done that a few times, paid her way to her continuing education, but not recently. They were stingy like that.

“Of course, all of your expenses would be reimbursed,” Claire added. “Since this is a professional expense.” She looked at Alexa expectantly.

“When is it?”

Claire smiled at her, apparently pleased that she'd gotten a response. “This coming weekend,” she said.

That was little time to prepare, but Alexa was thankfully not high maintenance. Or picky. Maybe getting out of the city would be good for her. Even getting away from Isaac wasn’t a bad idea. She ignored the way that thought dragged her down, made her crave his touch. She wanted him near her. “I'll go,” she said.

Claire smiled.

Alexa realized that she had never really had an option, Claire had just presented it as such.

“Your name has already been registered,” she said. She stood, nodding to Alexa. “I'll have your itinerary sent to you by my assistant tomorrow.”

Alexa nodded, her throat dry. She smiled politely at Claire. “Anything else?”

Claire shook her head. “That's it,” she said. She smiled at Alexa, but it wasn't a pleasant smile. It was thin, almost forced. Gone was their camaraderie from the early days, when Alexa was just starting out. Claire was scary now. “Continue the good work.”

Alexa nodded, and then maintained the smile until Claire left her office. She took a deep breath, realized her hands were shaking, and then got up and closed the door. She could pretend it was a sensitive client call, but instead she felt it was the safest way to call Isaac. At the very least she wanted to let him know that she would be unavailable for the weekend they were to go to his lake house.

And she just wanted to hear his voice.

“Hello?” His voice made her smile even though she didn't want to.

There was something about him that she liked, that drew her to him and warmed her heart. “Hello,” she said.

He smiled, she could hear it on the phone. “What do you need?”

“I want to talk to you about the weekend after next.”

“I have to go out of town,” he said, an apology in his voice.

She paused. “Really?”

“Yes.” He sounded surprised.

“Where are you going?”

“Baltimore. There's an ER conference there.”

“I’m going there too. Same weekend.” She stared at the far wall. Was that karma, or intentional? “There’s a law conference that weekend.”

“I guess we won't be apart that weekend after all.”

“Where's your conference?”

Alexa realized she had no idea. “I’ll know later today. You?”

“The Hilton.”

Given its status as one of the best conference hospitals in Baltimore, she guessed she would be staying there or maybe somewhere nearby. She had never been to Baltimore, but she had heard a lot of good things about it. “Are they arranging your itinerary?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said. She would be careful about who knew, or who saw them. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to say she was shirking her work, or wasting the hospital’s money. She took a deep breath, and smiled. “We can see the city together.”

“Yes,” he said simply. There was a warmth in his voice, a tenderness that made her ache for him.

“I've got to do work,” she said regretfully. There was so much to do before they left.

“I want to see you.”

His voice surprised her, filled her with heat. “I want to see you too,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

“Come over for dinner. Wednesday. I’ll cook.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You sure about that?”

He chuckled. “You doubt me?”

“Well...” She drawled the word, teasing.

“I’ll prove you wrong,” he assured her.

“See you Wednesday,” she said, her heart lighter and brighter.

“Wednesday,” he said, his words a promise.

She turned back to her desk and then paused. Her pen wasn't where she left it from last night, even excusing the one she had moved to take notes from Claire. The keyboard had shifted positions. The photo of her and Jill had been turned upside down, and there was a crack in the glass. Right over her face. Her stomach flipped uneasily. Had somebody been in there, messed with her stuff?

Maybe she just hadn't left them where she thought she had. She was, after all, the only one beside Claire and the janitor that had keys. Setting aside her unease, she turned on her computer and logged in to the system. “Jill?” she called, hoping to get her attention.

Jill popped her head inside, eyebrows raised in inquiry.

“Did anybody go in my office last night or this morning?” Alexa tried to keep her voice nonchalant. It was likely nothing.

But she couldn’t stop her palms from sweating, her heart from racing, or her brain from showing her multiple scenarios about how she could be in trouble.

Fucking paranoia.

Jill shook her head. “Nobody I saw.” She shrugged. “Maybe the janitor?”

Alexa relaxed, feeling the tension seep out of her muscles. It was probably the janitor. That was why her pen had been moved, and the keyboard. He was probably cleaning her desk. A dangerous proposition, given it was her. But that was probably what it was.

Jill looked at her, concern on her face. “Any particular reason why?”

“The janitor moved a couple of my things,” Alexa said, glancing back at her desk and rearranging the things that had been moved. She hated that she sounded crazy, asking about a few things that had been moved. But Jill just studied her for a moment, then smiled. That was what made her such a good friend.

“No problem,” Jill said, then popped out before Alexa could say anything more.

Alexa turned back to her desk. Her pencil cup was still in the same place, so was her file holder. So the janitor had only disturbed some of her things. A prickle of unease made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. No, she had things to do.

She stood and went over to her filing cabinet, unlocking it. She needed to pull out files to add them to the closed-files list. Her fingers skimmed the folders. She stopped, goosebumps prickling on her skin. She was meticulous in her filing, ensuring that nothing was out of place. But this time, one file was out of order. It was a B file that was next to an M. Even if it had been a simple misfile, it was far enough apart that she was wary. The feeling of unease was back and this time she couldn't shake it. Had she done that? There was no way the janitor would've been in her files. The filing cabinets were locked, and she was the only one with a key. It was strange.

She shook her head. Given how out of it she had been the past few days it was probably her fault. She could be forgetful, after all.

W
ednesday arrived soon enough
, and while Alexa wasn't as exhausted as she had been over the past few weeks, court was already running her ragged. On the bright side, the next day was the last day she had to go in for a week and a half. The last day she had to do her makeup, had to dress neatly. While she didn't dress like a slob in her office, she didn't have to look quite as well put together to keep up with her male counterparts as she did in court.

She nodded to Jill as she left the office. She had an hour before she had to make it to wherever Isaac had picked for dinner. Probably his place. He had said he would be cooking, after all.

Alexa chuckled at the thought. Would he try to cook or would he default to takeout? Her phone rang, and she picked it up. “Hello?”

“Hello.” Isaac's easy-going voice made her smile, sent that familiar warmth through her.

“Finally going to tell me what we’re having for dinner?” she teased. She could hear his smile through the phone.

“I’ll be there at six. Be ready.” Then the call ended.

Alexa looked at the clock and groaned. At least her makeup was already done and she lived close to the courtroom. She hurried out to her car, got inside. She made it home, got dressed. Put together an outfit that she had picked the day before. She was generally not one concerned with her appearance, not outside of the courtroom anyway. But it was nice to dress up for him, nice to think about what she was wearing outside of the court.

It wasn't anything too dressy, but they were nice slacks, combined with more sensible high heels. A breezy top with bright colors. The blazer, just in case. It was formal, but not over the top.

It was also easy to take off.

She checked herself in the mirror, checking her make up for any smudges, her clothes for any wrinkles. She looked immaculate, and she liked it. She took a deep breath, but flinched as the bell rang. Somebody was in her complex, waiting for her. That would be Isaac. She swallowed, headed downstairs with her clutch in hand. No point with a purse when a clutch would do. She saw the car outside of the complex, and headed over to it.

He was sitting inside, his eyes warm when he caught sight of her. “Hello.” His gaze raked her over, and she almost shivered. She could see the want, see the heat, his eyes held.

“Hello,” she said with a smile. It felt like the conversations with Jill had faded away, that all that mattered was the two of them. She got in the car and looked at him expectantly.

“There’s been a change in plans,” he said, glancing at her before driving out of her complex.

She looked at him and raised her eyebrows. “Tried to cook and it didn’t work out?”

He frowned at her. “Why would you think that?”

Her amusement deflated. She'd guessed wrong. But then she saw the faint blush on his cheeks. It gave him away. “You did,” she said, and there was a delight on her face that was evil. “That's funny.”

He frowned at her. “Really not that much,” he said.

She chuckled. “Oh, but it is.”

He rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his lips.

“It didn't go so well?”

“No,” he admitted.

She chuckled, smiled at him. There was a lightness to his face now. The fact that he had failed at something made him that much more approachable. “What are we getting?” she asked.

He looked at her, looked away. “Pizza.”

She glanced down at her clothes. “If it stains, you’re paying to clean this.”

His lips curved into a wicked smile. “Who says you’ll be wearing those for long?”

Her cheeks flamed. “Where are we going after we get the pizza?”

He reached out, put a hand on her thigh. “My place.”

She shivered in the seat. “I can’t wait.”

T
hey had settled
on the couch, pizza in hand as they curled up together. Alexa liked how solid his chest felt against her back, how safe she felt with his arm wrapped around her middle. She held the doubts at bay, kept them away. For now she could just enjoy Isaac, enjoy the feel of his skin against hers, the way his breath warmed her skin.

They were watching a legal thriller of some sorts, and she was quite certain Isaac was already regretting the decision. While none of the movies got the law right, not really, she couldn’t help but correct the various inaccuracies as they occurred. He seemed amused, seemed to humor her - she got kisses, absent minded or otherwise, whenever she said anything. All it did was make her want to talk more.

“They got this right,” she said, pointing at the screen with the last of her pizza crust. She popped it in her mouth, grinned at him.

He leaned down, kissed the top of her head. “You’re adorable.”

She blinked for a moment, then looked up at him. Part of her was uneasy, but it wasn’t because of him. More because positive comments from her ex had rarely come without a cost. But he smiled at her in his endearing way, and then turned back to the television. She could breathe easily, with him there. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

The noise of the movie faded into the background as she focused on him, how he made her feel. The heat slowly building inside her, the way his skin made her need. She wanted him. She didn’t want to wait.

He raised his eyebrows, apparently having noticed that she was staring at him.

She stood, looking at him. He glanced at the movie, chuckled, then back at her. The pizza was forgotten on the table, liable to go cold. But she didn’t care. Absently part of her pointed out that this time they would have to clean it up, since they weren't at his lake house. There was no Ellie, no one to clean up after them. No wonder she caught sight of dirty clothes on the floor in his far-from-immaculate bedroom.

By that point, with him kissing her neck like he was, his body hard against hers, she didn't particularly care. Alexa whimpered as his teeth grazed the sensitive skin of her neck, as his hands were sliding up her stomach underneath her shirt, stroking her breasts through her bra. He was moving fast, and she was okay with that. She felt like she was on fire. Like the intensity of what they were doing would consume them.

“Clothes off,” he murmured against her lips, kissing his way down her jaw line and then sucking a mark on her neck. She moaned, arching herself into him. She felt like she was drowning.

Alexa pulled back, ripping off her shirt and bra and kicking off her jeans before she melded herself back against him. He was naked, but she had kept on her panties. They were just too much effort to take off. She hated being away from him, not having him close.

Her nipples pebbled as he rolled them between his fingers, as he leaned down and sucked one into his mouth. She whimpered, tilted her head back. It sent waves of pleasure radiating through her. She was wet already, soaking through the thin lace of her underwear. He switched to her other nipple, grazed it with his teeth. She jerked, bit her lip. He was going to break her.

Then he walked her back towards the edge of the bed. He stripped off his boxers, throwing them to the ground. He was rock hard, throbbing, and she wanted him inside her more than ever. Isaac turned them, kissed her again, slowly, sweetly.

Then he sat on the bed, spread his legs. She glanced at him, wondering what he wanted. His gaze was locked on hers, and she took a deep breath, reminded herself that she could trust him. He would tell her what he wanted. He tugged her gently closer, his hands on either side of her hips. She was short enough that he was closer to her breasts then he was her hips.

Isaac gently spread her legs, spread her stance. She bit her lip when the cool air hit her where she was wet. He drew a nipple into his mouth, sucking, tugging on it with his teeth. She groaned, arched her back. Then he slid a finger across her lower lips, tantalizing, teasing. She rocked forward, trying to get him to enter her.

But he wouldn’t. He slid his finger in far enough to circle her clit, lubricated by her wetness. The feeling made her half-dizzy with arousal, with want. She wanted him, and her heart was beating faster than she had thought possible. “Please,” she begged.

He smiled, wicked. “One at a time,” he said.

She felt a flash of heat, knew what that meant. “Four?” she asked, tentative.

He grinned at her. “Three, this time.”

She groaned, but not in a bad way. “Really?”

He kissed her, then shifted to gently nudge her onto the bed. “If you're good, I'll make it four.”

She shivered at the thought. Could she handle that again? He smiled at her, and she smiled at him, despite her apprehension. Then he was moving down her body, kissing down between her breasts. She groaned, spread her legs. This time he wasted no time sliding a finger inside her, maintaining that same, slow, torturous pace that had haunted her last time. She keened, bucked her hips against him. She felt like she was overwhelmed, like she was getting everything from all sides.

He was overwhelming, and it was perfect.

“You're so good at this,” he said softly, blowing cool air over her nipples and smiling when she moaned. The contrast of sensations was torturous, the slow in and out of his finger and it the sharp licks and bites of his teeth on her sensitive nipples. Then, his finger was gone, and her legs quaked. No relief. She lifted her head, frowned at him. She had expected at least one orgasm from that.

“All with time,” he said. She thought she would grow to hate him saying that, that it wasn't fair.

She scowled at him, and instead of scowling back, he slid down her body. He kissed the bruise, kissed her middle, and then kissed between her legs. She whimpered, spreading her legs as far as she could. He licked and sucked, licking at her clit as he thrust two fingers in her this time. This was not slow and gentle, this was a crescendo. He brought her to the edge, and then stopped. She whimpered.

“Not yet,” he said.

She looked at him, frowned. He grinned.

He kissed her again, licked her, sucked. Thrust those two fingers in and out, with no mercy.

She was trembling now, her legs struggling to stay open. She was getting hypersensitive, borderline painful. But that made it so much better, so much better as he thrust in and out of her with his fingers, his tongue licking and his teeth just grazing her clit. He sucked her at the same time he jerked his fingers, this time bringing her to the edge and letting her fall over.

Alexa came so hard that her mind went blank. Shuddering, her breath coming in little gasps, she drifted back down to earth. She looked at him, eyes wide. If that was one of three, she wasn’t sure if she could survive more.

“You still there?” he asked, his voice soft.

She looked at him, frowned. “I felt like I went to Jupiter.”

He snorted. “No, you're still here,” he said after moment.

She sighed, flopped back on the bed. “No.”

He looked at him, raised his eyebrows. “That disappointed?” he asked.

She grinned, then nudged him. “My turn,” she said. He looked at her, raised his eyebrows.

“I want to fuck you with my tongue, first,” Isaac said, his voice mild in a startling contrast to what he had said. She swallowed, her cheeks flushing red. She hadn’t expected that, hadn’t expected the surge of desire it sent through her.

Then his mouth but back on her again, sucking, licking. She was oversensitive, trying to roll away, but his lips didn't let her. She whimpered, her hips bucking, but this time he kept his arm on them. It scared her, a little bit. Scared her that he was so good at bringing her to the bridge, and pulling it back again. Every time she did, it just got worse. That need, that want.

He kept to his word and fucked her with his tongue, his strong, hard tongue surging deep inside of her. She whimpered, moaned, begged with incoherent words, wanting it to be his cock instead. She wanted him to take her, oh so much.

He reached up, pinched her nipple at the same time he slid his tongue into her. Reached up and sucked her clit. Sent her over the edge again, and she let out a hoarse shout. She wasn't a shouter, which was nice, because she didn't want to get the police called.

“Now it's your turn,” he said. She looked at him, raised her eyebrows. Part of her hadn't expected him to actually stick to that, hadn't expected him to allow her to get away with what she wanted. But he did.

He rolled them so that he was on his back, her on top of him. His hard cock rested against her, and part of her wanted to slide herself onto him, screw him silly. But there was time for that later.  She kissed her way down his body, wanting to get him in her mouth, to see what she could do to make him lose control. To make him want her so much, what she was doing to him, so much that he lost control.

She leaned down, kissed his hip bones. She swallowed, looked at him. It'd been quite some time since she had done this, some time since she had sucked someone off, but this was different. This was him, and she wanted him. He looked at her, and she met his gaze. “I want to feel your mouth on me,” he said, his eyes dark and smoldering. “I want to see your pretty little mouth wrapped around my cock.”

She whimpered, the naughtiness of his words sending heat through her body. She wanted it too, wanted his cock in her mouth. Leaning down, Alexa kissed the head of his cock, tentative at first and then with more confidence. He smelled good, just like the rest of him but with a bit more musk.

She took the head of his cock in her mouth, put her hand on the base, stroked him up and down. She bobbed her head up and down, stopping when his cock hit the back of her throat. She loved the way he felt in her mouth, the velvety texture of his skin as she sucked him. She reached out, gently stroked his balls. Heard the inhalation, felt his back arch. Oh, that was good.

He liked that.

If he had liked that, he would like – she gently pushed a finger behind his groin, sucked on the head of his dick, and felt his hips leave the bed. That was a mistake, in a way, for he almost choked her. He put his hand in her hair, gently pulling her off. She had tears in her eyes, from the fact he had almost throttled her. “God,” he said, feelingly.