Catch My Fall (38 page)

Yet, there was one riddle that stumped the brainiacs.

My voice is Tender, my waist is slender, and I’m often invited to play. Yet wherever I go, I must take my bow, or else I have nothing to say. What am I?

“A violin?” Patty said.

Both Evan and Stellan threw their pens and groaned loudly.

Patty just beamed.

I gave her a small half tin of cookies for having shown up the genius twins, and she took the tin from me as though I’d just given her an Oscar. After the games, we broke into the desserts and the Porte. Patty followed me into the kitchen to offer help cleaning, and though I naturally refused, she began filling the dishwasher. Once she finished, we sat sipping Porte and talking. She was a couple drinks in and in a good mood. Geoffrey came up, a declaration that he would have hated the evening and made her go home early.

“Really?” I asked.

“Oh, god yeah. He’s never gotten along with any of my – err – friends.”

I nodded quickly to assure her that this word was applicable. She smiled and continued. “I mean, I wouldn’t have minded that so much – not all personality types get along, you know? But the past few months, he wasn’t even making an effort with me. We spent most of our evenings in silence.”

“Well, that’s not always bad.”

“True!” She said with such a bright flourish I began to wonder if I should cut her off from the wine. “But there’s a difference between being able to just be with someone and not talk, and silence being like another person in the room.”

I frowned at her. I wasn’t sure why.

“And, really – oh my god, Faye I’m going to be so honest with you!”

I smiled as she leaned in toward me. “Yeah?”

“We hadn’t had sex in almost a year.”

I widened my eyes to offer an expression of surprise. I wasn’t surprised. Before Twat Shot, Cole and I were well on our way. “No!”

“Right? A freakin year, Faye. I don’t care if my parents are in the house or not, you’ve got a penis; it works!”

I laughed as her volume rose. “Preach, sister.”

“I mean, what did I marry you for, anyway?”

I raised my glass to that. “Damn straight! I’ll be honest right back, I’ve always been a little jealous of you.”

She stopped dead, her eyes wide. “Really? Why on earth?”

“You had my ideal life.”

She scoffed and a tiny spray of red wine appeared between us. She blushed, covering her mouth. “You’re joking, right?”

“Nope. School in Edinburgh, marry a huge cocked Scotsman, be gorgeous and adorable and perky.”

She shook her head with a slow deliberation. “Oh honey, you had it all wrong.”

“What do you mean? That accent -”

Before I could finish my sentence she held her hand up with her thumb and forefinger a couple centimeters apart and hung her head low.

I gasped. “Really?”

“Such a shame. The accent really is so sexy at first, but then the main event was just, well - And that’s when he wasn’t too drunk to keep it up.”

I grabbed her wrist and squeezed in a gesture of solidarity. Oh honey, how I knew. “Oh my god!”

In the living room, there was a bit of ruckus. It had been going on a while before the sound traveled toward us. Kevin and Cole came into the kitchen followed by Stellan, a satisfied smile on his handsome face.

“Honey, you drew this shit?” Cole asked, holding an iPhone in the air.

I glared at Stellan. “Wait, they can see it, but I can’t?”

He shook his head, gesturing to Cole to hand me the phone. Cole instead stood beside me and let me watch over his shoulder as he continued to play, doing his best to dodge and block various objects being thrown from the branches of a tree. I recognized the vines, the elephant trunks appearing over the walls, the bulgy eyed monkeys that appeared within the trees. I even recognized the various objects being thrown – after a moment, shit was included.

Cole dodged poorly, took a splatter to the face and physically curled up in grossed out chagrin. Despite the gross out factor, he was laughing. The sound effects, the wacky crazed monkey sounds, the one liners of the brave zookeepers had all been added without my involvement, but everything came together.

I felt almost overwhelmed. Those were my drawings, and they were alive.

I stared at Stellan, speaking too softly to be heard. “You’re amazing.”

“That’s just one level, dude,” Evan called from the living room.

Kevin held his hands out to Cole who, by rule of the video game gods, needed to hand off now that he’d died.

Cole forked over the phone reluctantly and chuckled again. “Is it done?”

Stellan took a swig of his beer. “Not yet. Getting mighty close though.”

I smiled at Stellan. He winked at me.

Patty leaned in to the iPhone as Kevin played and turned to me with her mouth open. “You drew all of that?”

I shook my head. “I sketched some stuff up -”

“It’s all her. I compiled her stills and gave it sound effects, but everything you see was from her brain.”

Patty got almost teary eyed when she spoke again. I knew then she’d had enough to drink. “That’s so wonderful, Faye. I always thought you were so talented when we were in school.”

I started to react as I always did when receiving a compliment – attempt to deny it. Stellan cut me off. “She’s fucking brilliant.”

“I had no idea you could draw, honey.”

I turned to Cole and shrugged. “I don’t really do it anymore.”

“It was what she went to college for.” Evan called.

Cole raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Originally,” I said.

Cole laughed. “Must have been a quick phase, then.”

Stellan chuckled softly as he cracked another bottle of Sam.

Kevin growled, then fist pumped the air in celebration. Apparently it was just a
near
death experience. He then started laughing and showed me the blackboard, shit trajectory panel. “Faye, this is you?”

I nodded and chuckled to myself. There’s nothing quite like hearing people laugh at your work - at least when you were trying to be funny.

Patty beamed at me. “I can’t believe you didn’t stay in art school. You’d be famous by now.”

I attempted to scoff at such a notion, but was overshadowed by Cole doing it for me. “Who becomes famous for drawing?”

“It’s animation,” Evan called again, followed by a softer, ‘you twat,’ quiet enough for only Stell and I to recognize. For someone in the next room, he was certainly paying close attention to our conversation.

“Even so. I’d say it was a pretty sensible choice. Marketing you might actually make money at. Animators don’t make money.”

It was Stellan’s turn to scoff. “Walt. Fucking. Disney.”

Cole laughed, but before he could say anything, I spoke up. “Or what about Matt Groening? Stephen Hillenburg? Trey Parker?”

Cole made a face. “My point exactly. Haven’t heard of a single one of them.”

Stellan grumbled, and Evan hollered the animated series each had created – The Simpson, Spongebob Squarepants, South Park. He then added a few more expletives each of them growing louder. I suddenly noticed my hands were getting sweaty.

I spoke to cover the sound. “Matt Groening is worth like $500 million or some crazy thing.”

“If not more!” Evan yelled.

“Who is Matt Groening?” Cole asked, half rolling his eyes in his bottle of Sam.

Stellan stared at his beer. “Creator of the Simpsons.”

Cole chuckled. “Well, it’s not like you created
The Simpsons
here, hon.”

Evan exploded in the living room, and the front door slammed. I heard Meghan follow him out.

I searched for words. “No, but Charles Schulz was worth like $35 million, and he was a comic strip artist.”

Cole shook his head. “What? No comic strip artist is worth that much.”

Stellan swallowed hard. “Bill Watterson is worth almost as much as Matt Groening.”

“Who the hell is Bill Watterson? I swear you’re making these names up.”

Again Stellan spoke, still not looking up from his beer. “
Calvin and Hobbes
.”

“Oh please, there is no way in hell -”

My turn. “It’s true!”

Cole shook his head and made a duck face at me. “No way.”

I frowned at him. “Why don’t you believe me?”

“Because it’s not possible. You’re blatantly making it up to try to prove some point, which I don’t understand why you feel the need. It’s not like you draw anymore, so what’s the point? It
is
a funny game, but trying to pretend that you know the bank accounts of all these obscure people is just nonsense. Seriously, why would you know that?”

“Because it’s what I wanted to be.”

Cole blinked at me. “Sure, when you were seventeen.”

I stood silent. I didn’t want to say that I’d looked up these numbers just the day before as I tried to make it through the day without telling anyone about my job offer.

Suddenly, Kevin looked up from the game. “Maybe it’s not
the Simpsons,
but you might have an
Angry Birds
on your hands. Those guys are billionaires.”

I exhaled, only then realizing I’d been holding my breath. Suddenly, I loved Kevin with all my being.

Cole laughed and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. “Oh my god, you guys are living in a dream world. I’m going out for a smoke.”

He pecked me on the cheek before sneaking down the hall. I hoped that Evan would remember his manners out on the porch.

Kevin looked up from his game and glanced around in the silence.

Jackie came in to offer me a slice of her amazing cake, but I didn’t feel like eating. Stellan saw the slice of cake and took off for the living room. Patty and Kevin both accepted happily, moaning their appreciation with every bite.

I refused to be rude and forced one forkful into my mouth while Jackie, love that she is, did her best to lighten the mood.

“It’s lemon with a raspberry mousse center for yours, honey. I remember you liked that one.”

I smiled at her, feeling guilty that I would have given anything at that moment to spit out the only bite I’d taken. She leaned on the counter next to me, close enough for our arms to touch. I knew this was a form of comforting, but she was keeping it surreptitious. Patty turned to further regale Jackie with her love of cake when the sound of the front door bursting open startled us all, shaking the front end of the house. High heeled shoes clomped across the living room floor toward the kitchen.

Meghan appeared in the hallway and stared at me a moment. “I so almost don’t want to tell you this, but Stellan is outside, and he’s about to kill your asshole boyfriend. Just so you know.”

“What?!”

The entire population of the kitchen lunged down the hallway and out onto the porch. Stellan stood on the sidewalk in just his t-shirt and jeans, all his weight settled into his back leg, his arms loose at his sides.

Cole stood in front of him, at least a foot shorter, but his chest out. “What you gonna do, guy? Hit me?”

Stellan exhaled through his nose in a half laugh. “No, guy. I’m going to end you.”

I bounded down the steps in a panic. “Stellan, stop!”

Cole gestured to Evan, who was standing just a few steps into the street. “Go ahead, I’ve got witnesses to attest to the fact that you’re a fucking psycho.”

Evan glared at him. “Fuck you, dude. I could make you disappear.”

I got physically between them, and Cole pushed forward, as though my sudden presence was invitation to accept the challenge, jostling me into Stellan.

I pressed my hands against both their chests. “Both of you, stop it!”

Cole hollered in my ear. “What have I been saying? You see what I fucking mean now, Faye? And you hang out with this guy?”

“That’s enough!” I said as sternly as I could.

Stellan stood perfectly still. “Keep talkin, asshole.”

Evan bit his knuckles. “Stell, I will straight up pay you to make him eat his own teeth.”

I glared at him. “Shut the fuck up, Evan!”

There were some words called from the porch, but I couldn’t decipher them. Cole tried to pull me aside, knocking me off balance. Stellan grabbed me before I fell over the curb, and I held onto him.

I straightened, looking up at him. “Stellan, you need to go home.”

He stared at me a moment. “What?”

“You need to leave.”

He paused. “Are you seriously telling me -”

I nodded. “Yes! Please.”

He searched my face, his eyes growing brighter in the streetlights. Then he stormed off down the snow covered street in nothing more than a t-shirt.

“Stellan!” I called, but he was gone. “Evan, don’t let him go alone. Please.”

Evan gave me a look to match Stellan’s and hustled after him.

Cole hollered something after them, and I hauled out and punched him in the chest.

He pressed his hand to the sore spot. “What the fuck?”

“You leave, too!”

He furrowed his brow, doubling his chin as he gave me a look of half disgust at this suggestion. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No! Go home.”

By now, Mr. Hodges was at his front door. Before he could attempt to walk in the snow, I called my apology over to him, assuring him that the party was done for the night.

I stormed up my front steps and back into my living room. The act of speech was too much, so I didn’t bother speaking to anyone as they collected their coats and serving dishes and headed out. Cole tried to sneak in for a kiss on his way out, but I swatted him away so fiercely, I almost backhanded him.

He left in a huff.

I gave my hugs in silence, one by one, until it was just Patty and I in the living room.

She stopped in the doorway, her adorable green hat back on her head. “Are you going to be alright?”

I forced a smile, but still no words.

She took my hand and gave a sad smile. “I’ll be honest, I’m jealous of you. I’d give anything to have friends that loved me that much.”

And the bomb detonated. I let Patty literally hold me up while I sobbed.

CHAPTER Twenty

I
texted Stellan a few times that night to no response. Evan explained he’d been dismissed at the door of Stellan’s house when they got there, and he didn’t hear further.