Cattle Valley Mistletoe CV2 (8 page)

49

With rounded eyes, Casey nodded. “I don’t think you have to worry about anyone in town giving me a second look. I seem to be almost invisible to them.” Suddenly, a smile broke out on Casey’s face. “You really think you’re in love with me?”

“Well, like I said, I’ve never been in love, but yeah. If love means thinking about you all day and dreaming of you every night. Feeling like I’ve been kicked in the gut at the thought of something happening to you.” Hal ran his tongue over Casey’s lips. “Wanting nothing more than to wake up with you every morning.” Casey wiggled back and forth against Hal’s growing erection. “What happens at night?” he asked with heat in his eyes.

“At night, we curl up naked in front of the fire. Talk about our day, before I carry you off to the bedroom to fuck your brains out.” Hal grinned.

Casey started, “Well, aren’t you a smooth talker.” He thrust his tongue into Hal’s mouth and moaned. “That sounds like the perfect way to spend every evening for the rest of my life.”

Hal watched as Casey’s bright eyes clouded. “Let’s not dream anymore until we talk. We both know the things we need to work through aren’t minor, and if I’m going to have my heart broken…” Casey didn’t finish the sentence.

“Fuck it,” Hal said putting the truck in gear. “I’ll park the truck in the garage.” He gave Casey another kiss before moving him back to the seat beside him. “The last thing I wanted was to get you upset again. I’m done working for the day. Right now and always, you’re more important.”

Hal hit the garage remote and pulled in. Lifting Casey out of the truck, he carried him into the kitchen. “Why don’t you go put some sweats on while I make us some hot chocolate and build a fire? I won’t leave the house until we get things settled between us.”

Casey stood looking at him for several moments. “Are you mad at me?” Hal realised his voice had gone brusque. He ran a hand over his face and shook his head.

“No, baby, I’m mad at myself. Instead of just talking to you about my hang-ups, I’ve made you feel insecure. It’s me who’s insecure. I’m afraid once you know everything you’ll change your mind about loving me.”

Taking two steps Casey wrapped his arms around Hal. “Whether or not we can work out our relationship has nothing to do with me loving you. I’ll always love you, Halden.” Letting out a breath, Hal hugged Casey as tight as he dared. Smacking that cute ass, he kissed Casey’s forehead. “Go get changed and I’ll be there in a minute.” 50

Slipping on a pair of well-worn dark grey sweats, Casey sat on the bed. He knew he needed to prepare himself for this conversation, but he didn’t know how to start. He’d felt the tension in Hal’s body earlier when he’d asked about Hal’s family. Something told Casey Hal’s problem with God revolved around the death of his mother.

Deciding to go without a shirt, Casey pulled the blanket off the end of the bed and carried it to the living room. Two cups of instant cocoa sat on the coffee table as Hal worked to get a fire going.

Taking the time to appreciate the view of Hal’s butt in a black pair of boxer-briefs, Casey smiled. “I like your comfy clothes more than mine,” he said, coming further into the room.

Hal looked over his shoulder and grinned. “Feel free to take off whatever you want. No need to stand on ceremony on my account.” Putting the fire-grate in place, Hal stood and turned toward him. “Grab those pillows off the couch and come over here.” Tossing the pillows onto the floor, Casey pushed his sweats down and off. Wearing nothing but a smile, Casey carried the blanket in front of him. “I thought we might get cold.”

Hal’s gaze was riveted to Casey’s crotch. “I’m heating up just fine,” Hal said, pushing his underwear down his thighs.

Casey was the first to stretch out on the rug. He held the blanket up. “Will you cover me up?”

Grinning, Hal squatted, straddling Casey’s feet. “I’ll cover you.” He kissed his way up Casey’s legs, stopping for a quick taste of Casey’s awakening cock. By the time Hal reached his mouth, Casey was hard and wanting.

Wrapping his legs around Hal’s torso, he pulled the bigger man down for a kiss. The warm depths of Hal’s chocolate flavoured mouth had Casey panting in no time. “Love you,” he whispered, breaking the kiss.

Casey threaded his fingers through Hal’s hair, knowing it was time to get this over with.

“Would you like me to start?”

Hal shook his head and moved to lie beside Casey. Resting his head on Hal’s chest, Casey waited. After a few long moments, Hal began. “My mom got pregnant when she was nineteen. She’d left home with a guy—I assume he was my father—right after graduation. When she became pregnant, dear old dad took off. She turned to the church and they took her in, supported her. After I was born, they helped her find a little room in a boarding house. By this time, mom was totally immersed in the teachings of the church 51

and the Reverend Marshall.” Hal stopped talking, and Casey could tell he was sorting through a lifetime of buried pain.

“When I was eight, she got sick. To this day I don’t know what from, but the Reverend Marshall told her to pray. Mom spent everyday in the church on her knees. When she got to the point that she was too sick, she sent me in her place, telling me if I prayed hard enough she’d live. I…tried…”

Casey tightened his hold on Hal’s torso. He knew Hal’s mother had died, and now he knew how. “Shhh, that’s enough for now.” Casey wasn’t sure what to say. How a boy could be placed in that position by people who were supposed to love and protect him, Casey didn’t understand. A realisation struck him, and he looked up at Hal. “You’re not an atheist are you?”

“Huh?” Hal asked, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“It’s not that you don’t believe in God, it’s that you’re angry with him.” Casey quickly worked through the last few days. “When I was throwing up and refused to go to the doctor, were you mad at God or the fact that I was refusing medical help?” Hal just looked at him, and Casey could see the wheels turning. “What are you trying to say, Case?”

Casey took a deep breath. He knew it wouldn’t be easy for Hal to hear what he was about to say, it may even drive a wedge between them. “God didn’t let you down when your mom was dying, she did. But a little eight-year-old boy can’t hate his dead mother, so you turned that anger in another direction. You told me that you wouldn’t let me die just because I was too stubborn to go to the clinic that day. I think over time you’ve realised that your mom should have gone to the hospital and not the church.”

“God and the Reverend Marshall let her die then tried to blame me,” Hal said, pulling away enough to get up and walk toward the fireplace.

Watching Hal put a few more logs on the fire, Casey blew out a breath. He didn’t know who the hell this Reverend Marshall was, but Casey felt like finding him and kicking his butt. “You know now that your mother should’ve gotten medical treatment, don’t you?” Bracing his hands against the mantle, Hal looked down into the fire. “Yeah.”

“Do you know that even though I’m also a reverend, I’m nothing like Marshall?”

“I know Casey the man, but I’ve never heard Reverend Sharp address a congregation of followers.” Hal turned to look at Casey but didn’t move from his spot.

Casey stood and walked toward Hal. Standing in front of him, he looked up. “You see, that’s the difference. I don’t have followers. I have fellow worshipers. Every man and 52

woman in my church has their own mind. They don’t blindly follow me and my teachings. We gather together on Sundays to praise and give thanks to the Lord, it’s just easier when one man is sharing the teachings. It doesn’t make me any better than they are.”

Hal placed a kiss on Casey’s lips. “If you don’t mind, I’d like some time to myself. I think I’ll go for a drive.” Hal pulled away and started gathering his clothes.

“Would you rather I left? This is your home after all.”

“No.” Hal shook his head. He zipped his jeans and walked back over to Casey. “My feelings for you haven’t changed. I just need to have this out with God in private. I’ll be home later.”

He didn’t want Hal to leave, but he knew if he tried to stop him, it would prolong Hal’s agony. Hal was right, he needed to get things straightened out, but Casey felt it had more to do with feelings toward his mother rather than God. That was for Hal to figure out though.

“I love you. Drive safe and come back to me.”

“I’ll always come back to you,” Hal said. Casey watched him slip on his boots and coat before walking out to the garage. Hearing the big door open and then close, Casey walked to the window and watched Hal drive slowly away from the house. He just hoped the eight-year-old still trapped inside Hal could finally find peace.

53

As Hal drove through the countryside, he realised his tank was getting low. Deciding he could use some gas and hopefully a quick cheer-up from his best friend, he pulled into Gill’s. Looking at the clock, he decided to gas up and see if Gill wanted to grab a bite to eat.

After parking the truck, he wandered inside. “Where you at old man?”

“Who you calling old?” Gill asked, sliding out from under Nate’s Mercedes.

Hal was surprised to see Nate’s car in the shop. “What’s wrong with it?” Hal gestured toward the black convertible coupe.

Gill shook his head and wiped his hands on a rag he’d pulled from his back pocket. “Not a damn thing. This car’s a masterpiece of machinery.” Gill brushed the back of his hand across the passenger side door. “I asked Nate if I could borrow it to study for a week or two while things were slow.”

Shocked, Hal shook his head. “And he said yes?”

Hal would have sworn he saw the big black man blush. “Well, he asked me for a favour, and I told him this was the payment.” Gill shrugged.

“So what was the favour?” Hal asked sitting on a stool close to Gill.

“Kyle needed someone to fix the wheelchair lift on his van.” Gill shrugged. “It was no big deal.”

Hal studied his friend. He just wasn’t acting like himself. He knew Gill was interested in someone in town, but Hal had never pried into whom. “You like him, don’t you?”

“Nate? Yeah, he’s a nice enough fella.” Gill stood and walked toward the sink to wash up.

Hal grinned. “I was talking about Kyle Brynn.”

Gill started scrubbing his hands with vigour. “What are you doing here anyway? I thought you had a building to finish and a man to take care of.” 54

Even though he hadn’t answered the question, Hal now knew the answer. Deciding to let it drop, Hal walked toward the sink. “I thought maybe you’d like to get something for supper.”

Pulling some paper towels off the roll, Gill turned around. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” Hal scratched the side of his neck before shoving his hands in his coat pocket. “I just needed a break from my thoughts, no big deal.”

“Deb’s?” Gill threw the towel into the trash and started unzipping his coveralls.

Hal was always surprised by the shear muscle mass of Gill’s body. You couldn’t see it in his customary work gear, but despite having been out of professional football for eight years, Gill looked bigger and stronger than ever. He walked into the office and waited for Gill to lock up. “You wanna just follow me? I thought I’d stop by and do some work on the hall afterward.”

“Meet ya there,” Gill said walking toward his truck.

It was almost seven o’clock when Hal parked in front of the church. Hoping a couple of hours work on the addition would set his mind at ease, Hal got out and started unloading the tile and adhesive.

With the first load set on the floor, he made a pot of coffee. It should be ready by the time he had all the boxes unloaded, and he had a feeling it was going to be a long night. After readying the pot, he plugged it in and noticed a little spark. Hal studied the outlet for a few seconds. He’d have to bring in his voltage tester in the morning. Shaking his head, he walked back out to the truck.

Sipping his first cup of coffee, Hal thought about Casey. Gill had reminded him that the annual lighting ceremony in the park was at eight-thirty. He knew Casey had never witnessed Beauregard Park lit up in all its glory. Was what Hal was feeling worth having Casey miss it?

He pulled out his phone and called home.

“Kuckleman residence,” the soft voice said.

“Hey,” Hal said. “I thought maybe you’d like to come into town and go to the lighting ceremony.”

Hal held his breath when Casey didn’t immediately reply. “Well, I just got off the phone with Nate. I tried to call, but you had your phone turned off. I left you a message. They’re going to pick me up. Would you like to meet us at the park?” 55

“Sorry, I went out to eat with Gill.” Hal blew out a breath. He really didn’t feel like competing with Nate tonight. It also annoyed him that Casey said Hal could
meet
them at the park. His temper surged. “Forget it. I’ll work on the building. See you later.” Hal hung up without waiting for a reply. He was sure it was a childish thing to do, but he wasn’t feeling grown-up just then.

Picking up the broom, he decided to sweep up. He had a pretty good sized crew of volunteers coming the next day to paint. After that, he could get started on the trim work and the floor.

The longer he worked, the more guilty he began to feel, or was it jealous? He wanted to share the lights with Casey. The thought of the smaller man wrapped in his arms drinking hot chocolate was too much to resist. He just hoped Deb’s Diner was still open.

Shrugging into his coat, Hal ran out the door. If he was lucky he could get the cocoa and still make it to the park in time to find Casey.

He didn’t know why he’d even come. The lights were beautiful, but they didn’t sparkle for him. Casey looked over at the threesome, happily cuddling up to each other as they laughed and joked. Rio, Ryan and Nate had tried hard to include him, but some things you couldn’t share.

Casey thought about his earlier phone conversation with Hal. He’d been so upset and worried after Hal left the house. It took him by surprise when Hal had told him he’d eaten dinner with Gill. Knowing there wasn’t anything between the two men didn’t make the sting any lighter.