Ceremony of Flies (10 page)

The padre, Harvey and the dog get close enough for the twilight to light up their features. The jowly good-natured face of the priest looks kind and peaceful…or whatever that look is that religious people wear on their face. He looks like an ideal priest. A statue.

Harvey does not look happy. He’s wearing a scowl that would put my old boss Mort to shame. His fingers are knotted in the father’s hair. That’s got to hurt. Baldy is watchful and wary, as tense as a cat.

The father swings the boy down from his shoulders and plants him on the ground. Harvey runs full out toward me and Rex. He holds out his arms and leaps into my arms. “Kitty. Don’t ever make me go with him again.”

His voice is different. It doesn’t sound so grown-up anymore. It sounds like he’s been auto-tuned up into the kid register. Kitty! What the fuck? I open my mouth to correct him but I don’t. What the hell is he supposed to call me? I think through the obvious possibilities, my name for example. Do I really want a kid yelling out my name at all the wrong times? Kitty’s the best of the bunch. It will have to do.

“What happened? Did he hurt you?”

I’m thinking of every story I’ve ever heard about priests and kids. Shit. I hope I didn’t fuck up already.

The weird naked dog jumps up on Rex and licks his face. I will never get used to that dog. Rex doesn’t seem to mind. He tousles its rubbery head and chuckles.

“Nothing happened. No one was injured. Isn’t that right, son.” The father is breathing kind of heavy, loud enough to hear, and he’s sagging like he’s worn out. He
is
a pretty old guy.

Harvey grins. It’s a malevolent twisted thing that doesn’t belong on the face of a child. “That is correct. The priest could do nothing to me.”

Rex gets up and gives the father his seat. This saves me from having to do it. I’m glad I’m not a dude.

The father drops into Rex’s chair with an old-man grunt. “Run along and play fetch with your dog.” The father throws a baseball across the courtyard to where Sister Azzie is piling up bundles of sticks in a heap like she’s planning to make a gigantic bonfire. “Let the grown-ups talk.”

I didn’t even see the ball in the priest’s hand. It was like it just materialized when he needed it. Priests don’t have that power, do they?

“That’s a good lesson for the boy to learn,” Rex says like he’s been thinking about the kind of things Harvey needs. Maybe he is going to stay with us. That would be pretty awesome.

Baldy and Harvey sprint after the ball.

“What’s the story with the child?” the father asks once Harvey is out of earshot.

My heart leaps up into my throat. I glance at Rex but he’s watching Harvey and Baldy and pretending he didn’t hear the question. That’s some bullshit.

“No story.” I shrug like I’m calm, not worried, not scared.

Across the compound in the opposite direction from where Rex is
still
looking, Sister Azzie pulls on a rope and erects a pole in the center of the wood. Faggots. The word pops into my head. That’s what they used to call wood like that back when they burned witches at the stake. And if all those woodblock prints I used to pore over in junior high were accurate, that’s exactly what Sister Azzie is erecting.

That’s crazy though.

Sister Azzie winds her rope around some sort of stake in the ground. Some sort of
permanent
stake in the ground, like they erected poles and build pyres often enough that they had permanent fixtures that helped make the work easier.

Fuck.

But that’s just me letting my imagination run away.

Seriously.

I laugh to myself. These perfectly nice people aren’t going to burn a witch at the stake. There probably isn’t a witch for miles, or a heretic or…infidel.

“He’s not yours though.” The father gazes at me with that damned beatific smile of his. He looks more like a statue than a human being.

Fuck.

I’m completely going to have to lie to a priest. Oh well, what’s the worst that could happen? I glance at Sister Azzie. She has a rag wrapped around the end of her stick. She’s pouring some sort of liquid on it. It bursts into flames.

“That’s an odd thing to say,” I say, because I can’t say
None of your fucking business, asshole
to a priest. “Rex, honey. Did you hear what the father said?”

I have never in my life called anyone
honey
. The word sounds flat, like I’m reading it from a script. No one is fooled.

Rex looks away from Harvey and Baldy and gives me a crooked grin. “Yep.”

The old father’s face morphs into something that isn’t quite so saintly. The flames from the pyre reflect on his glasses. He’s seriously creeping me out.

The priest folds his hands and looks over at Harvey and Baldy. They are romping and running in circles around the fire. Something about the way they’re moving makes me think of actors pretending to be children at play.

“Be careful,” I yell. I get up from my chair and stand beside Rex. I could really use some moral support from him, but he doesn’t seem to have any to give. I ought to go get Harvey and keep him close to me. It’s dark now. We should go to bed. Although I can tell already that I’m not going to be doing any sleeping. How could that good feeling I was having crumble to shit so fast?

I grab Rex’s hand and squeeze it tight. I like that I’m blocking the priest’s view of the boy. My boy. Our boy.

“I’d like you to consider leaving him here with us. That would be the best thing for everyone.”

“No fucking way!” I say.

Rex tightens his grip on my hand. It hurts a little.

I don’t care if the old man is a priest.

No fucking way.

I let go of Rex and spin around. “Harvey! Harvey, come over here right now.” My voice quavers and doesn’t sound authoritative at all.

Harvey stops running and jumping. The fire roars behind him. Sister Azzie puts a hand on his shoulder.

I have this feeling like they’re planning to throw all of us on their bonfire. What if they’re cannibals living way out here all alone? We’d probably keep them in picnic fare for months.

That’s the crazy at work, I tell myself, and shake the idea from my head. Things are a little weird. They aren’t full-on horror-movie weird.

Don’t touch him, he’s mine. You can’t take him from me.

“Harvey! Now!”

Harvey runs toward me. Baldy scampers along beside him.

Sister Azzie follows him. She’s carrying her rag-wrapped stick like Joan of Arc or the Statue of Liberty, I guess, because Joan of Arc didn’t really get to be in charge of the torch. Something about the way she looks makes me think of Joan of Arc. The expression on the sister’s face looks like she’s on a righteous mission. The look in her eyes frightens me.

Harvey plows into me and throws his arms around my knees.

“I don’t want to have to get the authorities involved.” The father stands up. The kindly expression flickers across his face, even though kindly is the last fucking thing he is. No one is taking Harvey away from me.

No one.

“What authorities,” I yell at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

With movements faster than an old man should be able to make, he lurches toward me and grabs Harvey. He lifts the boy’s shirt.

Welts, ugly purple raised ridges, striate his back.

“What happened, Harvey?” I’m having trouble catching my breath. Is it even possible to prove a negative? I didn’t do this to Harvey. Is that what the priest is saying? Is he implying that I’d abuse a child? “Who did that to you?”

Harvey doesn’t say a word. He struggles and claws to get away from the old man.

I am not in any way responsible for any harm done to this child. I’m protecting him.

“Rex, tell him I’d never do something like that. I’d never hurt anyone.”

“That’s the…truth,” Rex says in his folksy way. But he’s acting. It’s on his face that he doesn’t believe what he’s saying. He knows I’m a killer. He will always know. But I wouldn’t hurt a child. I wouldn’t.

Baldy growls deep in his chest.

Is that a threat?

A warning?

I can see the larger picture now, though. If I want to keep him, I have to take all of Harvey’s history as my own. I have to become his story. I have to take on that burden and understand that beating. I’m the pot, the motherfucking cauldron, that has to take on all of him.

Fuck.

I’m not sure I can do that.

“Harvey, come here.” My voice sounds shrill and panicky. I try to breathe. “Harvey.” My voice is sharp and blunt.
Sharp
and
blunt
, two words when used together that can only describe a paradox—or a weapon—some prehistoric tool sharpened on one edge.

I need one of those.

I look at Rex. I’m going to run. I’m going to grab Harvey and run. I hope Rex knows that. I hope he’s on my side in this but I can’t tell from his face. I wish he would say something.

“Everyone should get some rest,” Sister Azzie says in her sweet, perky little voice. “The path we seek will be more easily revealed in the morning light.”

I am not staying here. No fucking way. Not with these people.

“Tomorrow we’ll have a look at that car of yours and see what we can do.”

Rex puts his hand on my shoulder. “It’ll be all right, Kitty. We can’t go nowhere without getting Linda fixed up.”

Fuck, I forgot all about that. We’re trapped here. “Harvey.” This time I say his name like a normal person rather than some raving madwoman.

The priest lets go of him and he runs to my side. I scoop him up and hold on to him. He feels plumper, more like a kid should. Maybe I’m squeezing too tight.

“That’s an excellent idea, Sister.” The priest comes at me and pats Harvey’s shoulder.

Harvey wails like the father’s touch burns.

Rex flinches. Would he punch a priest for me?

I clutch Harvey tighter. He is not taking this kid from me.

“We’ll talk more in the morning.”

We’ll get the fuck out of here in the morning, you mean. I walk with Harvey to our room. It’s only a few steps. I run my hand along the wall to feel for the light switch. I can’t find it. I put Harvey down. “Stay right here. Close to me.” I can’t see anything in the room and I can’t find the damned light switch. It occurs to me that they don’t have electricity. I open the curtain. In the light from the fire, I see Rex and the father with their heads tilted together. Rex better not be telling him anything. He better fucking not.

He would never do that, but how would I know? They are probably just talking about the car. Guys talk about cars a lot.

I put Harvey on his little cot. Baldy hops up next to him and curls up. “Who hit you?” I ask the kid. “Did your father do that?” He tilts his head downward. He’s assented. I’m sure of it.

My mind winds up tighter and tighter like an old-fashioned watch. I hesitate for a second. Should I kiss the kid? Hug him? I lie down on the bed without doing either. If that priest causes trouble, I’ll get Harvey to say the father hit him.
His
father,
the
father, the difference is miniscule. I’m sure I can get Harvey to say it. That’ll show that son of a bitch for trying to take Harvey.

I watch the light from the fire flicker on the walls. What the hell is Rex talking to that priest about?

The minute I think it, Rex walks through the door. He closes it and half the light disappears.

“Lock it,” I say.

Rex looks around for a minute. “Got no lock.”

“Figures.”

Rex sits on the edge of the bed and takes off first one boot then the other.

“Hey, Rex.”

“Yeah?”

Rex lies down beside me on the bed. He is as rigid as a pool cue. He doesn’t kiss me or hug me or anything at all. I wouldn’t have minded. What could that priest have possibly said to him? I wanted to know but I was afraid to ask.

“Why do you think they’d build a big fire like that?”

“Probably it keeps the wolves away.”

10

Light blazes in through the window, as hot and corporeal as boiling oil. I don’t know how long I’ve been lying in this old-fashioned bed with the sun on my face. I am blinded by the black afterimage of its radiance. How did that happen through my closed eyelids? I throw out my arm. I’m alone in the bed. Last thing I remember, I’d been listening to Rex’s snoring. I jump up. I’ve been sleeping!

“Harvey!” I can’t see him. Can’t see through the black hole in my vision. My voice is a croak. My throat feels like sandpaper. “Harvey.”

I stumble through the open door out into the courtyard. The air, thick with the smell of charred wood, burns my nostrils and throat. I need water. I need Harvey and Rex and I need to get the fuck out of here.