Authors: J. Sterling
Tags: #love triangle, #young adult, #love, #college age, #ya, #chance encounters, #soulmates, #romance, #teens
And then guilt crept inside her mind, quickly followed by images of Jackson.
Jackson.
The thought of him almost stopped her heart completely. Her knees started to shake forcefully and she reached for the cold iron railing, bracing herself against it. Another thought of Jackson caused her stomach to lurch violently and she briefly contemplated the notion that she might actually get sick right there on that balcony.
How had she come so far from where she had always intended to be, which was right here, in this moment with Clay? She knew she couldn’t possibly tell him ‘no.’ How could she? Oh sorry, honey, but I’ve been talking to some other guy and I think I might really like him? Of course she had to say ‘yes.’ What other choice was there?
It seemed as though minutes passed in Caroline’s hesitation to answer, but they were mere seconds in reality. She looked down at her boyfriend, who looked uncomfortable being on one knee, and told him with a smile, “Of course I’ll marry you.”
Clay’s eyes lit up as he gently slipped the diamond ring onto her finger. Caroline marveled at how large the square diamond looked on her hand. She immediately understood why women fell in love with them. “So sparkly,” she said out loud, transfixed by its shine.
Clay hesitated and then asked, “Do you like it?”
“It’s unbelievable,” Caroline admitted, her eyes still glued to her left hand.
Clay picked Caroline up in his arms, breaking her gaze. No longer bewitched by its sparkle her mind quickly returned to the image of Jackson’s face. Unable to fight her emotions any longer she allowed the tears to spill out.
Clay kissed the side of her wet face and repeated, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” she told him, as her heart sank.
Jackson looked down at his phone and felt his heart race as he saw Caroline’s name flash across the screen. He pushed the
Talk
button and said, “It’s stupid how happy it makes me to see your name on my phone.”
She laughed slightly. “Hey, Jackson,” her tone of voice was apprehensive and he knew immediately that something was wrong.
His heart raced wilder now and his stomach felt like it had dropped to his feet. “What’s up?”
The pause between his question and her answer made his brow start to bead with sweat. He breathed quicker as he heard her blurt out, “Clay asked me to marry him last night.”
Jackson leaned the back of his head against the wall harder than he had intended. He took a long, deep breath. “Well, what did you say?”
She didn’t respond and the silence between them made Jackson nervous. His voice shook when he asked her again, “Caroline. What’d you say?”
He heard nothing except the sound of her breath in his ear. He slammed his free fist into the floor beside him and shouted, “Caroline!”
His voice broke as he pleaded one last time, “Oh, Caroline, what did you say?”
He heard her swallow hard. “I said yes.”
Jackson blocked out the sound of her tears as his heart felt like it stopped working and he struggled to catch air. His shock quickly turned to anger as he slammed his head against the wall one last time with such force that it knocked a picture down. It crashed down violently a few feet from where he sat, but he didn’t move an inch. “I have to go.”
“Jackson, wait! I only…” He hung up before she finished.
Dazed and heartbroken, Jackson walked somberly into the living room. He grabbed an old record and slid it from its protective white paper wrapping. Gently, he placed it on the now antique record player his grandfather used to own. He watched the record spin for a moment, fascinated by the way the needle of the player bobbed up and down with the grooves of the track.
Then he walked into the kitchen, grabbed a shot glass out of the cabinet and a bottle of tequila. Jackson rarely drank to the point of getting drunk, but tonight—there would be no stopping him.
Jackson lost himself in the old records, appreciating the music and songwriting of the past. Lyrics about heartbreak spilled from the speakers and Jackson did little to stop the tears. The picture of him and Caroline from the flight that day sat on top of the wood, a glaring reminder of what he’d just officially lost.
“How could you?” he asked the picture. “You can’t want to marry him. You just can’t.” He poured the amber liquid into the tiny glass repeatedly, wincing with each one he threw down his throat. He rested his head on his forearms and let the tears spill out around him.
Just then, his roommate Alex walked through the door. He heard the song blaring while outside and knew something was wrong. He saw Jackson sitting at the table, his head buried.
“Parks?” Alex said, calling Jackson by his last name. “Man, you okay? What’s going on?” Alex walked toward the table and leaned against a chair.
Jackson looked up from the table slowly. His eyes were beet red and his face was flushed. Pieces of dark hair appeared to be glued to his forehead. He poured another amber shot and chugged it without saying a word.
“Enough with the tequila.” Alex grabbed the bottle, glanced at how much was gone and quickly put it back in the cupboard. “What happened, man? Talk to me.”
Alex watched Jackson stare at the picture of him and Caroline, refusing to look away from the green eyes that looked back at him. Jackson rubbed her image with his thumb and started to tighten his fist. Just as quickly as the photo had started to ball up, he slammed it down against the flat table top and pressed his palm across it to smooth it back out.
Alex left the room and Jackson overheard him on the phone.
“He’s playing a record,” Alex said.
“Shit. Really?” Tommy asked.
“Really,” Alex said in a matter-of-fact tone.
“What the hell happened?” Tommy knew Jackson only put his grandfather’s old record player to use when he reminisced about the past or when he was destroyed emotionally. The only other times he remembered it playing was when Jackson got the news that his grandfather had died, the day of the funeral, and when he missed the old man so much it hurt.
“I have no idea. He won’t talk,” Alex said.
“I’ll be right there. Shit.” Tommy hung up and Alex headed back into the kitchen.
“Tommy’s on his way. You wanna tell me what’s going on?” By now Alex knew it had something to do with Caroline. Jackson knew Alex supported his feelings about her and had sincerely thought they would end up together. He had told Jackson on more than one occasion that he hoped it would work out between them.
Jackson looked up at his friend. He wiped at his eyes, but refused to speak. The truth was, he didn’t want to have to tell this story more than once, so he silently waited for Tommy’s arrival.
Tommy barged through the door, took one look at Jackson and asked harshly, “What the hell happened? You look like shit.”
“Asshole,” Alex barked.
Jackson looked down at the table and tried to control his emotions. He didn’t want to cry in front of his friends, but this was too much. He eyed his friends and choked the words out, “She’s getting married.”
“We’re going out.” Tommy walked over to the record player and turned it off. He grabbed a coat for Jackson and his keys.
Jackson attempted to protest, but it was no use. “We’re going out. You’re not going to sit here miserable, listening to Otis Redding all night. Let’s go.”
Jackson begrudgingly walked out of the apartment door, sat alone in the back of Tommy’s car, and stared out the window. He knew exactly where they were headed.
The bar was filled with people and a crowd of familiar faces was the last thing Jackson wanted. He marched straight to a booth in the far back corner of the darkened bar. Jackson slid into the side that kept his back to the crowd while Tommy and Alex sat across from him.
“Sally, can we get a pitcher here?” Tommy shouted at the slender bartender from their booth.
“So, when did it happen?” Alex asked.
“I guess he asked her last night. Happy birthday to her, right? I just can’t believe she said ‘yes.’”
Tommy shook his head, disgust evident in his eyes and the grimness of his mouth. “What do you mean you can’t believe she said ‘yes?’ Of course, she said ‘yes.’ What was she supposed to say? ‘Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m in love with that dude from the airplane?’”
Jackson’s stomach dropped as he tried to stop everything inside him from falling apart. He wanted to get angry; Tommy had been telling him for months now that this was a bad idea, but Jackson had refused to listen. Convinced that Tommy was a cynic and couldn’t possibly know what he and Caroline shared, he told himself over and over that Tommy was wrong.
“Why you gotta be like that?” Alex chastised Tommy, as the bartender put a pitcher down on their table with an extra frosted glass.
“You okay, Jax?” she asked, noticing the color and puffiness around his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks, Sal.” He tried to smile at her so she’d leave.
“All right, let me know if you boys need anything else. And Tommy, you don’t gotta holler at me like I’m some sort of cattle or something.”
“Sorry, Sally.” Tommy winked and reached to playfully smack her behind, but she scooted away. “So, what are you going to do?”
Jackson looked at his two best friends and shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, what you ought to do is
…
” Tommy turned to look in Sally’s direction and gave his head a quick nod, “you know
…
Sally.”
“Not this again
…
” Alex shook his head while Jackson peered over his shoulder at the attractive brunette. She glanced up and Jackson quickly turned away from her sympathetic gaze.
“What? I’m just sayin’. She’s only had a crush on you since we were kids.”
Jackson buried his head behind his hands. “Sally’s great, but I’ve never really thought of her in that way before.”
“Well, maybe you should start. She’s hot. And you’re an idiot,” Tommy added.
“Enough. I don’t want to talk about this any more.” Jackson rubbed at his eyes and temples.
Tommy raised his eyebrows with disapproval. “Whatever. So, are you going to fly out to California and kidnap this broad, or what?”
Jackson’s chest puffed out before he let out a long sigh. “No. I’m going to walk away.”
“Smartest thing you’ve said since meeting her,” Tommy commented and leaned into the tall backrest.
Jackson winced. It wouldn’t take much to break him. He was so broken already.
Shock instantly covered Alex’s face. “What? Don’t listen to Tommy. Have you even told her you love her?”
“Does it matter?” Tommy asked.
“Of course it matters! How can you be pissed at her, if she doesn’t even know how you feel?” Alex asked logically.
“I hung up on her before she could tell me anything else,” Jackson admitted, his gaze falling to the floor.
“You’re a charmer,” Tommy choked out.
Jackson quickly looked up and shot his buddy a nasty look. “Shut up and pour the beer.”
Alex chimed in quickly, “I’m just going to say this one time, okay?”
“Here we go.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “Dr. Phil to the rescue.”
Alex gave Tommy a quick punch in the arm. “You have to lay it all on the line. You can’t expect the girl to ruin her life for you if she doesn’t even know how you feel about her.”
Jackson peered up from behind his beer glass and then continued chugging it.
“I mean it, Jackson. You want her to leave her boyfriend
…
”
Tommy interjected, “Ahem!
Fiancé
!”
Alex continued, “My bad. You want her to leave her
…
fiancé
…
”
“Thank you.” Tommy tipped his head and lifted his glass in the air.
“But for what? For some guy who hasn’t even admitted what he really feels for her? She doesn’t even know you love her. She probably thinks you don’t. No girl in her right mind would leave what she has for that.”
A subtle spark of light flickered from deep inside Jackson’s eyes. “You’re right.”