Chances Aren't (17 page)

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Authors: Luke Young

Tags: #Humorous, #Time Travel, #Literature & Fiction, #Romantic Comedy, #Satire, #American, #General Humor, #Humor & Satire, #Romance

BOOK: Chances Aren't
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Then he goes for it. This was not in the plan. He presses his mouth between her legs and at first she moans in pleasure. I watch as she makes a face and adjusts her hips in the bed, seemingly sitting on pins and needles and wanting to jump away from him. More than once, she reaches out to touch him, but stops short and her grimace fades briefly before returning.

His face disappears deeper between her legs, she covers her mouth with her hand and her facial expression is screaming out for this to stop. Finally she's had enough and placing her hands on the bed, scoots away from him.

He pulls up and looks at her disoriented. "Was that okay?"

"Um, sure. Come up here."

"I'll be right back." He stands and walks away so I can no longer see him.

"You don't need to get a condom," she says.

"Are you on the pill?"

"Um-hmm." She nods her head.

He rushes back and gets on top of her, kissing her once, before taking hold of his erection and guiding it between her legs. Once he's inside her, she groans in pleasure and her eyes roll back in her head.

After watching for a few more seconds, I need a break. This is killing me. Pulling away from the wall, I listen to the soft moaning spilling through the hole in the wall. Gee, even though I wasn't so good at it back then, she sure seems to be enjoying herself. I don't understand it— he didn't touch her breast at all, didn't even acknowledge their existence, is he out of his mind? He certainly didn't go down on her properly. I'm sure I could do a much better job. The moaning continues and it's more her than him. I shake my head in disbelief. Yet through all of his short comings, she still seems to love it. I'll bet her head would explode if I've put into practice all the things I've learned over the years; a young hard body with incredible stamina powered by forty five years of experience. She wouldn't stand a chance. It's true what they say— youth is truly wasted on the young.

I return to the hole and her expression confirms it. Maybe she's faking some of this, but a girl that age hasn’t yet learned how to fake it, has she? I mean, if she is faking, she's the Daniel Day Lewis of faking it— she never breaks character. Either way, I'm impressed. Suddenly, I hear young Ben cry out with a groan and he's definitely having an orgasm. He's turning toward me and I make the mistake of looking at his contorted facial expression. Trust me you don't want to see yourself in that way. I pull away from the hole wearing a grimace. I can't watch this anymore.

Shit, I've got to get in there. I came all this way. He's had his fun. Would it kill him to give me a shot? What a selfish bastard. Geez, I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot and my future self popped in for a visit, I would share my girlfriend with him… yeah definitely. I know I would.

I hear rustling through the wall, then Laura moans. I return to peering through the hole and don't see them at first but I hear them. They're doing it again, somewhere in the room. I should have cut out a second hole, I suppose.

I hear what sounds like the shifting of the beans inside a beanbag chair. They must be in it.

Laura says, "Wait."

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, but I need to…"

I take a higher angle looking down through the hole and squint. I make out the top of Ben's head, I think. I close my eyes for a moment and when I open them I'm staring right at it, Ben's junk. It's maybe three feet from the hole and I push away from the wall, startled. Another thing you really don't want to see— a close-up of male genitalia— even your own. It's horrifying and I really don't know how women do it.

After waiting a few seconds through the beanbag rustling and more murmuring from both of them, I hear the soft sounds of moaning return and a rhythmic movement of bodies and more beanbag related sounds. Shit, they're back at it. I move to the wall and take a look, but I still can't see them.

Folding my arms, I sit on the bed and struggle to think over young Ben's annoying panting and moaning. It's got to be getting on her nerves as well. I'm sure of it. I rub my chin with my eyes closed, then suddenly my eyes flip open and a smile spreads over my face. I've got it, I just need to plead with him. I can convince him. During the next break, I'll, I'll just—

"Oh, oh… Laura— Ahhh…" I shake my head and make a sour face as his cries grow louder. The bastard is blowing his load again and she hasn't come once. Is he using his hands on her clitoris? There's no way he is, he doesn't even know what that is. He's a moron, I know because I didn’t know shit and well, that's me over there— the old me.

Half exhilarated, half terrified out of my mind, I tip toe to the door between the rooms and find it locked. I quietly turn the lock, pause for a moment while holding my breath then make up my mind. After opening the door a few inches, I close it as loudly as I can.

I hear whispers from Ben's side.

Walking to the end of the hall, I stop short of peering around the wall, but instead I put my hand out as though I've seen them in whatever condition they are in. Using a deeper voice, I say, "Sorry, I didn't… dude it's Alan and I, uh, really need speak to you. It's an emergency. I didn't know you had, uh…"

"Alan," Ben replies with his voice cracking. "What are you doing here?"

"I really just need a minute. I'll wait over on my side."

"Um, okay, I'll be right there," Young Ben says in his best over annunciating and overacting voice.

Moving to Alan's side, I pace around the room and wait, practicing my plea. With a towel wrapped around him, Ben appears glaring at me. He's whispers, "What the hell are you doing?"

I raise my hands in defeat and quietly launch into it. "Look, just give me a couple minutes with her. She won't know and I'll go over there and give her what she wants. No offense, but—"

"Screw you." He glares at me. "I'm doing fine. She's really enjoying—"

"She's faking it."

"No, she's not."

"Yes, she is. You've ignored her nipples. I saw your lame attempt at going down on her. I hate to say it, but you're a complete disaster over there."

"I'm not listening to any more of this. Keep this up and I will kill you, I don't care if—"

"Please." Holding my hands together in front of me I put on sad eyes. "Let me pinch hit for you just for a few minutes. Dude, you lose her otherwise. This, I know for sure."

He narrows his eyes and shakes his head. "No."

"I'll lock this up for you. She'll be begging to sleep with you again and again - I promise. I'll even teach you everything I know. You'll be—"

"I said no!"

Pointing to the hole in the wall, I say, "You can watch and you'll lear—"

"What?" He mouths before moving to the wall and peering through. When he turns back to me, he looks like he wants to kill me. Grabbing me around the neck, he pushes me back to the wall. "You've been watching us, you sick, future freak."

Struggling to speak, I mumble, "I, uh, just… I—"

"Ben, is everything okay?" we hear.

Both our eyes widen as we stand frozen.

"Ben," Laura repeats.

"Um, yeah, sorry. I'll be right there," Ben announces back loudly, releasing his grip of my neck.

"Look, just five minutes, that's all I need," I plead.

He scoffs, then looks away from me shaking his head. "I can't believe I'm over here fighting with myself when I should be over there." Re-focusing on me, he pokes a finger into my chest, pushing me harder into the wall. "Look, this may be my only night with her, but it's my night. You had your chance twenty years ago."

"Twenty five," I correct him.

"Whatever, if you make another sound, I'm going to tell her what the hell is going on here and she'll run the hell out of here screaming. Got it?"

"Yeah, okay."

"And then, after that I
will
kill you."

"All right. Okay. Got it."

After emphasizing that point by thumping his finger into my chest, he turns and walks toward the hall. I narrow my eyes, then spring into action without thinking. I rush to him, wrapping my arm around his throat and pull him down. He lets out these horrible gurgling sounds and his arms are flailing all around as I maintain my grip.

Fuck, I didn’t really think this through. I look around the room trying to come up with a plan.

"Ben, Ben, I'm—" I hear Laura say in a concerned tone.

"Oh, I'll be right there. Alan is just, uh…" I spot the closet and drag Ben toward it. After opening the door, I fling him inside. He falls back on his ass and clutches his throat struggling to catch his breath. Clothes fall off hangers onto him. I kneel down hard on him, harder than I meant to, sending my knee right into his groin. He gasps, staring up at me with watery eyes.

I whisper, "Sorry, but I tried to reason with you. You want to lose her forever, go ahead, make some noise and let her know you're in here. She's pretty amazing, right?"

He doesn't respond so I repeat, "Isn't she?"

"Yeah, okay…" he struggles to say.

I rise to my feet, and more clothes fall from the bar onto him. He looks pathetic, hunched over in pain and gasping for breath. I feel like shit, but he made me do this. I close the door and quickly look around the room.

I spot a chair, and shove it under the knob of the closet door and check the sturdiness of it. It's not great, but all he needs to do is speak and our cover is blown anyway, so it's all I really need to keep him out of my hair if he decides to behave, which I'm counting on.

Sprinting, I head back to Ben's side of the room and stand there looking in. Laura is in bed with the covers pulled up to her neck staring back to me with her eyes wide. "Sorry, I just need one more minute, he's, uh, got some girlfriend problems, but he's, uh, leaving in one minute."

"Um, okay," she replies quietly.

Looking down, I notice I'm wearing boxer shorts and young Ben was not. I jump back around the wall so she can't see me and think this through. She probably didn’t notice I assure myself. Pulling down my boxer shorts, I toss them to Alan's side and return to the door.

I announce loudly, directing my voice away from Ben's side of the room, "Okay, Alan I'll see you later. Good luck with your problems with your... girlfriend." I cringe, my acting skills suck as well. Deepening my voice once again, I turn toward Ben's side of the room and say, "Okay, good bye."

After opening the door a few inches, I close and lock it, then take a deep breath summoning the courage I need to pull this off. A smile washes over my face and I'm ready. Oh my God, this is actually going to happen.

Chapter 19

I waltz into the room and kneel next to the bed giving her a sympathetic look. "I'm so sorry, he's a basket case and, uh, I promise he won't be back."

"What's going on with him? What was all that noise? It sounded like you were fighting."

"Oh, we were just, you know, wrestling."

"Naked?"

I look down to my naked body as I struggle for a plausible answer. "No, I was wearing a towel."

"Oh…" She looks at me at first relieved, then confused.

"God, I missed you," I say quickly. "Can I see you?"

She smiles before the confused look returns. "What?"

I gently pull the covers off of her and my eyes travel slowly from her face down to her breasts then to her adorable little belly button, to her tiny landing strip of pubic hair. I shake my head and sigh, she was really ahead of her time.

I look her in the eye, mesmerized. "I've been waiting for this moment for twenty…" I stop myself. "Um, since I first saw you I've wanted you. Did you know that?"

"I was attracted to you too."

"Have you had an orgasm?"

Shrugging and wearing an embarrassed smile, she shakes her head no.

"I want to give you one."

Her lips part, but she doesn't say a word.

Reaching out, I place my hands on her breasts and gently caress them. She groans and closes her eyes. I lean in and kiss her. I'm sure it's a better kiss than she had just moments before. I pull back and she's gazing at me simply gnawing at her lip.

"God, you're adorable. I just…"

I move down to kiss her neck and taste her skin for the first time. She smells like a waffle cone from Swensen's. I could eat her up. Slipping further down, I take a nipple in my mouth and suck it gently. When it hardens I nibble carefully on it and hear her moan with approval. After logging some time with that breast, I move to the other and repeat the process. She runs her fingers through my hair and calls my name. I'm dying. I can't believe this is actually happening. Yesterday I was going to smash my car into a tree and now I'm here with her. Words can't describe how I ache for her. I pull up and gaze at her, just to be sure I'm not dreaming. I want to tell her all of it, every detail. How my life has been miserable without her. How I made a huge mistake when I didn't pursue her. How I... How I just kneed myself in the balls to get a chance to be with her. Wait, that's probably not a good idea.

I slip off the bed on my knees and coax her to the edge. Sitting up with her feet on the floor, she looks me in the eyes and whispers, "Do you want me here?"

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