Charles Dickens (13 page)

'But I can't spare her,' returned Edward. 'I couldn't think of
it.'

'What do you mean, you vagabond?' said Tackleton.

'I mean, that as I can make allowance for your being vexed,'
returned the other, with a smile, 'I am as deaf to harsh discourse
this morning, as I was to all discourse last night.'

The look that Tackleton bestowed upon him, and the start he gave!

'I am sorry, sir,' said Edward, holding out May's left hand, and
especially the third finger; 'that the young lady can't accompany
you to church; but as she has been there once, this morning,
perhaps you'll excuse her.'

Tackleton looked hard at the third finger, and took a little piece
of silver-paper, apparently containing a ring, from his waistcoat-
pocket.

'Miss Slowboy,' said Tackleton. 'Will you have the kindness to
throw that in the fire? Thank'ee.'

'It was a previous engagement, quite an old engagement, that
prevented my wife from keeping her appointment with you, I assure
you,' said Edward.

'Mr. Tackleton will do me the justice to acknowledge that I
revealed it to him faithfully; and that I told him, many times, I
never could forget it,' said May, blushing.

'Oh certainly!' said Tackleton. 'Oh to be sure. Oh it's all
right. It's quite correct. Mrs. Edward Plummer, I infer?'

'That's the name,' returned the bridegroom.

'Ah, I shouldn't have known you, sir,' said Tackleton, scrutinising
his face narrowly, and making a low bow. 'I give you joy, sir!'

'Thank'ee.'

'Mrs. Peerybingle,' said Tackleton, turning suddenly to where she
stood with her husband; 'I am sorry. You haven't done me a very
great kindness, but, upon my life I am sorry. You are better than
I thought you. John Peerybingle, I am sorry. You understand me;
that's enough. It's quite correct, ladies and gentlemen all, and
perfectly satisfactory. Good morning!'

With these words he carried it off, and carried himself off too:
merely stopping at the door, to take the flowers and favours from
his horse's head, and to kick that animal once, in the ribs, as a
means of informing him that there was a screw loose in his
arrangements.

Of course it became a serious duty now, to make such a day of it,
as should mark these events for a high Feast and Festival in the
Peerybingle Calendar for evermore. Accordingly, Dot went to work
to produce such an entertainment, as should reflect undying honour
on the house and on every one concerned; and in a very short space
of time, she was up to her dimpled elbows in flour, and whitening
the Carrier's coat, every time he came near her, by stopping him to
give him a kiss. That good fellow washed the greens, and peeled
the turnips, and broke the plates, and upset iron pots full of cold
water on the fire, and made himself useful in all sorts of ways:
while a couple of professional assistants, hastily called in from
somewhere in the neighbourhood, as on a point of life or death, ran
against each other in all the doorways and round all the corners,
and everybody tumbled over Tilly Slowboy and the Baby, everywhere.
Tilly never came out in such force before. Her ubiquity was the
theme of general admiration. She was a stumbling-block in the
passage at five-and-twenty minutes past two; a man-trap in the
kitchen at half-past two precisely; and a pitfall in the garret at
five-and-twenty minutes to three. The Baby's head was, as it were,
a test and touchstone for every description of matter,—animal,
vegetable, and mineral. Nothing was in use that day that didn't
come, at some time or other, into close acquaintance with it.

Then, there was a great Expedition set on foot to go and find out
Mrs. Fielding; and to be dismally penitent to that excellent
gentlewoman; and to bring her back, by force, if needful, to be
happy and forgiving. And when the Expedition first discovered her,
she would listen to no terms at all, but said, an unspeakable
number of times, that ever she should have lived to see the day!
and couldn't be got to say anything else, except, 'Now carry me to
the grave:' which seemed absurd, on account of her not being dead,
or anything at all like it. After a time, she lapsed into a state
of dreadful calmness, and observed, that when that unfortunate
train of circumstances had occurred in the Indigo Trade, she had
foreseen that she would be exposed, during her whole life, to every
species of insult and contumely; and that she was glad to find it
was the case; and begged they wouldn't trouble themselves about
her,—for what was she? oh, dear! a nobody!—but would forget that
such a being lived, and would take their course in life without
her. From this bitterly sarcastic mood, she passed into an angry
one, in which she gave vent to the remarkable expression that the
worm would turn if trodden on; and, after that, she yielded to a
soft regret, and said, if they had only given her their confidence,
what might she not have had it in her power to suggest! Taking
advantage of this crisis in her feelings, the Expedition embraced
her; and she very soon had her gloves on, and was on her way to
John Peerybingle's in a state of unimpeachable gentility; with a
paper parcel at her side containing a cap of state, almost as tall,
and quite as stiff, as a mitre.

Then, there were Dot's father and mother to come, in another little
chaise; and they were behind their time; and fears were
entertained; and there was much looking out for them down the road;
and Mrs. Fielding always would look in the wrong and morally
impossible direction; and being apprised thereof, hoped she might
take the liberty of looking where she pleased. At last they came:
a chubby little couple, jogging along in a snug and comfortable
little way that quite belonged to the Dot family; and Dot and her
mother, side by side, were wonderful to see. They were so like
each other.

Then, Dot's mother had to renew her acquaintance with May's mother;
and May's mother always stood on her gentility; and Dot's mother
never stood on anything but her active little feet. And old Dot—
so to call Dot's father, I forgot it wasn't his right name, but
never mind—took liberties, and shook hands at first sight, and
seemed to think a cap but so much starch and muslin, and didn't
defer himself at all to the Indigo Trade, but said there was no
help for it now; and, in Mrs. Fielding's summing up, was a good-
natured kind of man—but coarse, my dear.

I wouldn't have missed Dot, doing the honours in her wedding-gown,
my benison on her bright face! for any money. No! nor the good
Carrier, so jovial and so ruddy, at the bottom of the table. Nor
the brown, fresh sailor-fellow, and his handsome wife. Nor any one
among them. To have missed the dinner would have been to miss as
jolly and as stout a meal as man need eat; and to have missed the
overflowing cups in which they drank The Wedding-Day, would have
been the greatest miss of all.

After dinner, Caleb sang the song about the Sparkling Bowl. As I'm
a living man, hoping to keep so, for a year or two, he sang it
through.

And, by-the-by, a most unlooked-for incident occurred, just as he
finished the last verse.

There was a tap at the door; and a man came staggering in, without
saying with your leave, or by your leave, with something heavy on
his head. Setting this down in the middle of the table,
symmetrically in the centre of the nuts and apples, he said:

'Mr. Tackleton's compliments, and as he hasn't got no use for the
cake himself, p'raps you'll eat it.'

And with those words, he walked off.

There was some surprise among the company, as you may imagine.
Mrs. Fielding, being a lady of infinite discernment, suggested that
the cake was poisoned, and related a narrative of a cake, which,
within her knowledge, had turned a seminary for young ladies, blue.
But she was overruled by acclamation; and the cake was cut by May,
with much ceremony and rejoicing.

I don't think any one had tasted it, when there came another tap at
the door, and the same man appeared again, having under his arm a
vast brown-paper parcel.

'Mr. Tackleton's compliments, and he's sent a few toys for the
Babby. They ain't ugly.'

After the delivery of which expressions, he retired again.

The whole party would have experienced great difficulty in finding
words for their astonishment, even if they had had ample time to
seek them. But they had none at all; for the messenger had
scarcely shut the door behind him, when there came another tap, and
Tackleton himself walked in.

'Mrs. Peerybingle!' said the Toy-merchant, hat in hand. 'I'm
sorry. I'm more sorry than I was this morning. I have had time to
think of it. John Peerybingle! I'm sour by disposition; but I
can't help being sweetened, more or less, by coming face to face
with such a man as you. Caleb! This unconscious little nurse gave
me a broken hint last night, of which I have found the thread. I
blush to think how easily I might have bound you and your daughter
to me, and what a miserable idiot I was, when I took her for one!
Friends, one and all, my house is very lonely to-night. I have not
so much as a Cricket on my Hearth. I have scared them all away.
Be gracious to me; let me join this happy party!'

He was at home in five minutes. You never saw such a fellow. What
HAD he been doing with himself all his life, never to have known,
before, his great capacity of being jovial! Or what had the
Fairies been doing with him, to have effected such a change!

'John! you won't send me home this evening; will you?' whispered
Dot.

He had been very near it though!

There wanted but one living creature to make the party complete;
and, in the twinkling of an eye, there he was, very thirsty with
hard running, and engaged in hopeless endeavours to squeeze his
head into a narrow pitcher. He had gone with the cart to its
journey's end, very much disgusted with the absence of his master,
and stupendously rebellious to the Deputy. After lingering about
the stable for some little time, vainly attempting to incite the
old horse to the mutinous act of returning on his own account, he
had walked into the tap-room and laid himself down before the fire.
But suddenly yielding to the conviction that the Deputy was a
humbug, and must be abandoned, he had got up again, turned tail,
and come home.

There was a dance in the evening. With which general mention of
that recreation, I should have left it alone, if I had not some
reason to suppose that it was quite an original dance, and one of a
most uncommon figure. It was formed in an odd way; in this way.

Edward, that sailor-fellow—a good free dashing sort of a fellow he
was—had been telling them various marvels concerning parrots, and
mines, and Mexicans, and gold dust, when all at once he took it in
his head to jump up from his seat and propose a dance; for Bertha's
harp was there, and she had such a hand upon it as you seldom hear.
Dot (sly little piece of affectation when she chose) said her
dancing days were over;
I
think because the Carrier was smoking
his pipe, and she liked sitting by him, best. Mrs. Fielding had no
choice, of course, but to say HER dancing days were over, after
that; and everybody said the same, except May; May was ready.

So, May and Edward got up, amid great applause, to dance alone; and
Bertha plays her liveliest tune.

Well! if you'll believe me, they have not been dancing five
minutes, when suddenly the Carrier flings his pipe away, takes Dot
round the waist, dashes out into the room, and starts off with her,
toe and heel, quite wonderfully. Tackleton no sooner sees this,
than he skims across to Mrs. Fielding, takes her round the waist,
and follows suit. Old Dot no sooner sees this, than up he is, all
alive, whisks off Mrs. Dot in the middle of the dance, and is the
foremost there. Caleb no sooner sees this, than he clutches Tilly
Slowboy by both hands and goes off at score; Miss Slowboy, firm in
the belief that diving hotly in among the other couples, and
effecting any number of concussions with them, is your only
principle of footing it.

Hark! how the Cricket joins the music with its Chirp, Chirp, Chirp;
and how the kettle hums!

But what is this! Even as I listen to them, blithely, and turn
towards Dot, for one last glimpse of a little figure very pleasant
to me, she and the rest have vanished into air, and I am left
alone. A Cricket sings upon the Hearth; a broken child's-toy lies
upon the ground; and nothing else remains.