Chasing Circumstance (14 page)

“Yep, while most new students were putting on the freshman fifteen, Isabella took advantage of the gym equipment and recreated herself.  I think that even though she looks fabulous now, she still sees herself as that fat girl and over compensates for it with a false sense of self-worth.  It’s sad really.  I wish she could see herself through my eyes and realize just how incredible she truly is.  If you had known her back then, you would see there is more to her than the snobby, self indulgent, drunken whore she pretends to be.”  I hung the frame back on the wall and re-joined Jo on the couch.

“That’s a little harsh, don’tcha think?”  Jo adjusted the pillows behind her back.

“Yeah, probably, but that’s exactly how she’s been acting lately.”  The steam had stopped wafting from my coffee cup so I picked it up and started drinking it.

“She’s not the only one.  Please, don’t be upset with me, because you know I love you and even encouraged you some, but don’t you think it may be time to stop this whole revenge thing and find your way back to your true self?”  Jo put her feet up on the coffee table and looked at me with such love in her expression that there was no way I could be upset with her.  After all, she was speaking the truth.

“Funny you should bring that up.  While you were in your room talking to Isabella, Chace called me from Canada.  After we chatted a little, I told him we needed to talk when he returned and he agreed.  He really is a good guy, isn’t he?”  I got up to refill our cups and grab some cookies to go with them.

“He is, Amia, and hot as fuck too!”  Jo laughed and then used a napkin that had been left on the table to wipe up a little coffee she had spilled.

I returned with our final cups of coffee for the night and a small plate of cookies.  Sitting on the couch, I handed Jo hers.  “Do you think he could be…”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.  Just enjoy it for what it is in this moment.”  She knew what I was going to say and she was right.  I had a tendency to think too far ahead and not enjoy things for what they were. 

“You know I love you, right?  You’ve always been such a good friend to me.”  I drank some of my coffee and set it on the table in front of me. 

“I know, and I love you too.  We’ve always had each other’s back and I don’t see that changing anytime soon… If ever.”  Jo reached across the couch and gave my hand a quick squeeze.  “Well, I think I’m ready to go to sleep.”

“Alright, here ya go.”  I stood up, pulled the blanket off of the back of the couch and covered her with it.  “Goodnight, Jo.  I hope you sleep well.  If it becomes too uncomfortable, just come crawl in bed with me.”  I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“Thanks, Doll, but I’ve slept on this couch more times than I can count.  Sweet dreams.”  She rolled over and tucked a pillow under her head.

Shutting off the light, I walked down the hall to Jo’s bedroom and opened the door to check on Isabella.  She was sound asleep and snoring so loudly that I hoped I wouldn’t be able to hear her upstairs.  Closing the door softly, I headed up to my bedroom.  After undressing, I gathered my laptop and a glass of water from the bathroom and sat on my bed to write.

“Dear You,

‘Never judge a book by its cover.’  How many times have we heard this throughout our lifetime? 

How often do we take the time to truly get to know someone?  Why do we not ask questions, but instead, live comfortably with our assumptions?  When do we learn to look beyond what we see and get to the reality of a person’s inner being, or just not assume things to begin with?

Maybe it’s time we start looking at people as works of art.  Every person has something beautiful in them, and each of us will see it differently or recognize a diverse component of that beauty. 

So tonight, dear readers, I leave you with this question…

What does your book cover say about you?

~ Amia”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN 

“I thought you were going to help me rake leaves.”  Jo came in the back door and went to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, I forgot.”  I stood up to join her.  “Can I make you some lunch to make up for it?”  Opening the refrigerator door, I took out everything needed to make sandwiches.

“Sure, thanks.  What made you forget?”  The microwave beeped to signal Jo the water she was heating was ready.

“Oh, well, it’s Saturday and Chace is coming home today.  He said he’d call when he got back.  I was just cleaning up a little and then was going to go shower and make myself pretty.”  I giggled a little as I put slices of turkey on the rye bread and then added lettuce and tomato.

“You’re always pretty.  When are you going to learn that you’re a beautiful woman… Inside and out.”  Jo stirred her cocoa as she spoke to me.

“Thank you, but I know I’m pretty, so there’s no need for me to learn it.” I put the sandwiches on plates and handed Jo hers.  Sitting at the bar, I started to eat my lunch.

“You do realize you’re more than your appearance though, right?”  Jo joined me at the breakfast bar with her hot cocoa and sandwich.

“Where’s this coming from?”  I sat my food down and looked at her.

“My fiftieth birthday is next month and it’s got me thinking.”  She sat her cup down and looked at me.  “Amia, I’m concerned about you.” 

“What do you mean?”  I looked at Jo and waited for her answer. 

“Your behavior scares me lately.  It’s not the you that I’ve known and loved all these years.”  She reached over and took me by the hand.

“Don’t forget you encouraged me to do this.” I pulled my hand away from hers.

“I didn’t encourage you to fuck someone in the back of a moving truck.  There’s a difference between having meaningless, physically fulfilling sex and conducting yourself like an outright whore.”  Jo’s blunt words hung heavy in the air.

“This coming from a woman that’s never had a real relationship in all the time I’ve known her?  How dare you!”  I stood up with such force that the barstool I was sitting on tipped over and fell to the floor.

“I’ve never had a relationship in the time you’ve known me because I’ve been focused on my company.  Yes, I have my fun, but it is about realizing my sexual needs and not an attempt to forget who I am.  This is not who you are.  You’re the one that believes in happily ever after.”  Standing up, Jo picked up the barstool I knocked over.

“I don’t even know who I am right now, what makes you think you do?” I walked into the living room, sat on the couch and hugged a pillow tight to me.

“I know more than you think.  I wasn’t always the person you know today.  I never told you this, but I was married before I knew you.  He was my life, and after eight years of blissful love, he left me for another woman.  That’s when I decided to put all my energy into my work.  I was afraid to love again.”  Jo sat down on the couch next to me.

“What?  I don’t know why you felt the need to hide that from me.”  I was shocked at her confession.

“I didn’t hide it from you; I just don’t talk about it.  It’s not important anyway.  Look, I just want to make sure that you don’t become one of those vapid women that are lacking in substance.  You know the type; the women that are more concerned with how they look instead of who they are.  The women that think they aren’t worth anything more than their bodies.”  Jo sat further back on the couch and looked at me.  “You and Chace have the potential for a real relationship and I would hate to see you fuck that up.”

“Listen, Jo.  I’m sorry you had to go through that, but just because your heart was broken before doesn’t mean you know anything about how I’m feeling.  Oh, and do me a favor, leave Chace out of this.”  Tears sprung from my eyes.  “I can’t talk to you right now.”  Jumping up, I went upstairs to my room.

I sat on the edge of my bed and thought about what Jo said.  She couldn’t possibly know how I was feeling.  Stuart had broken my heart into microscopic pieces.  All I was doing was taking some time to heal and having fun while I did it. 

Deciding it was time to get dressed; I stood up and headed to the shower.  Just as I was stepping into the bathroom, my cell phone rang.

“Hello?”  I answered the phone hoping it was Chace.

“Hey, Amia, this is Rick.  Listen, I got the proofs and I’m not sure if I like them.  Do you think you could come down and take a look at them with me?”  Rick sounded exasperated.

“Sure, I was just going to shower.  I’ll be there in about forty-five minutes or so.”  I was surprised he was working on a Saturday.

“Shower, huh?  Sounds sexy.  Great!  I’ll see you soon.”  He hung up before I could tell him how much of a pervert he was.

I took a quick shower, stepped out and wrapped up in a towel. After brushing my teeth, I wiped the steam from the mirror and quickly put in my contacts.

I walked out to my room and turned on my stereo.  The first song that played was one of my favorites and I sang along with it as I sat at my dressing table.  “Painted my eyes with darkened shades, lined them black like the ace of spades.  My lips are colored a ruby red, just like my heart that’s being bled.  Hiding the pain that’s in my soul, ready to play this whorish role.  Lie me down and be my lover, just leave the pain outside the covers.”

After I applied my foundation, I did exactly what the lyrics said and brushed black and grey eye shadow across my lids. Finishing my eyes with heavy black eyeliner and mascara, I then picked up my reddest lipstick and smoothed it over my lips.  With a light dusting of loose powder to conceal the shine, I was now ready to do my hair.

Usually, I tied it up in some kind of twist or bun, but I wanted to feel different today.  I decided to spend ten minutes to flat iron my hair and was quite satisfied with the results.

I opened the top drawer of my dresser and threw on my matching pink lace panties and bra.  Walking into my closet, I took down my long, beige skirt with the slit up the side and stepped into it.  Rifling through the rest of my clothes, I then chose my black, cowl neck sweater and pulled it over my head being careful not to mess up my hair.

Sitting once again at my dressing table, I slid on my knee high, leather boots and zipped them up.  With one final look in the mirror, I smoothed my hair, gathered my jacket and purse and headed downstairs.

“You look really nice.  Going to meet Chace?”  Jo was still sitting on the couch and was now watching a movie.

“No, he was supposed to be back by now, and since I have yet to hear from him, I’m going to assume he lost interest.”  I spit the words out as I walked past her.

“Are you sure?  Maybe he’s just running late.”  Jo was trying very hard to stay cheerful despite my animosity toward her.

“I’m sure, and I already asked you to leave him out of this.”  I stopped at the front door.

“Well, where are you going then?”  Jo looked concerned as she asked.

“I’m going out to get laid.  After all, that’s what I’m best at, right?”  I slammed the door behind me as I walked out.

I jumped in my car and sped away.  Traffic was heavier than I had anticipated.  I waited for a red light and used the opportunity to call Rick to let him know I was running late.  He said it was fine and didn’t mind waiting for me.  

It was late afternoon by the time I got to the city, found parking and walked over to the studio.  Rick was sitting at the reception desk waiting for me when I tapped on the door.  He smiled as he stood up to let me in.  “Hi, Amia, you’re looking even more captivating than your usual lovely self.  Dress up just for me?”  Rick took my jacket from my shoulders as I stepped through the door and kissed me on the cheek.

“Oh, you haven’t heard?  I’m whoring it up now, so I have to dress to impress.”  I rolled my eyes and laughed as I followed Rick to the back of the studio.

“I’m afraid to even ask, but if you’re serious, consider me your first customer.”  Rick turned and winked at me before opening the door to the photography area.  “Here, let me show you what I was talking about on the phone.”  Rick put his arm over my shoulders and we leaned down to take a closer look at the photos.

“Oh, I see what you mean.”  I shook my head in disappointment.  “These just won’t work.  She’s too young, too modern for this campaign.”

“So, what were you thinking then?”  Rick set the photos down and looked at me.

“Well, this is for vintage clothing.  I think we need women closer to my age.  Beauty shown through the vitality of age and grace.  Does that make sense?  It still has to be sexy though because we both know that sex sells” Gazing at the photos one last time, I started putting the campaign together in my head.

“Then why don’t you do it?  I mean look at you!  You are the epitome of what you just described.”  Rick took me by the hand and spun me around.

“Oh, I couldn’t.  I would be too shy to do it by myself.”  I blushed a little at his compliment.

“Then don’t do it alone.”  He started digging through a stack of photos.  “Here, look at her.  What about photos of the two of you?”  Rick showed me a few pictures of a woman in her mid-thirties with a stunning smile and gorgeous skin.

“Yes!  That’s exactly what I’m talking about!  How soon can we get her in here?”  I took the photo from him and studied it closer.

“Let me call her.  I’ll be right back.”  Rick stepped out to the reception area to make the phone call.  I walked over and looked at the wardrobe for the shoot.  I knew I fit the clothes I sent over because I had modeled them for Chace.  Ugh… Chace.  I couldn’t believe I fell for his lines.  He was slick… I had to give him that. 

I heard the door open and Rick call out to me.  “Amia?  She’ll be here in ten minutes.  She just lives up the avenue from here.”  He stepped around the end of the wardrobe rack.  “So, will you do it?  Will you be in the ad?”

“I’ll tell you what, let’s take some shots and see what we can come up with.  I do want some photos of just her in case I don’t like the ones of both of us.”  I picked out one of the dresses I had admired when I was trying them on in my apartment.  “I think I’ll wear this.”

“Yes!  You’ll see, Amia.  I know what I’m talking about.”  He smiled softly at me.  “You’ll look amazing in that.  Go try it on.”

“Oh, I know it fits.  I’ve already tried it on before.”  I smiled back at him.  “Do you have a laptop in here?”

“Sure, why?”  He walked over to his desk and opened his laptop.

“Because I had some pictures taken of me in these clothes, and I emailed them to Jo.  If it’s alright with you, I can sign into my email and show you.”

“Absolutely!  Here.”  He pushed his laptop across his desk toward me.

I signed in and opened the email with the photos.  After moving them to his desktop, I opened them to show him.

“Amia, you are breathtakingly beautiful!  Who may I ask took these photos?  Whoever it is definitely has a thing for you.  They captured your essence perfectly!”  He scrolled through the photos, pausing at a few of them to take a closer look.

“Oh, it was no one special.  Just some guy I used to know.”  I felt the blush rise to my cheeks as I thought about Chace and me that night.

“Well, I am even more convinced now that you MUST be in this campaign.  Hurry now, go get changed so it won’t take us long once Elizabeth gets here.”  He playfully pushed me behind a dressing screen.

“What, you don’t want to see me naked?”  I laughed as I started to change my outfit.

“Don’t tempt me.  I’ve wanted that since the first moment I laid eyes on you.”  We both laughed until I stepped out from behind the screen.

“Oh my, you look ravishing.”  Rick picked up his camera and began taking candid photos of me.

“Stop that, Rick!”  I held my hand over my face in an attempt to discourage him.

“Hey, Rick, where are you?”  Elizabeth called out from the reception area.

“Back here, Beth!”  Rick yelled loud enough for her to hear him.  “I must have left the door unlocked.  I better go lock up so we don’t get any unwanted interruptions.”  Rick walked out to the reception area as Beth walked in.

“Hi, I’m Beth.  You must be Amia.”  She stretched out her hand to shake mine.  Her smile was just as stunning in person as it was in her photos.

“Hi, yes I am.  It’s nice to meet you.  You are absolutely gorgeous!”  I was a bit taken with her beauty.

“Thank you.  You’re very beautiful yourself.”  She stepped closer to me and touched my shoulder.  “Thank you for considering me for this campaign.”  Her smile changed from sweet to sultry.

“Considering you?  You have the job.  It’s just a matter of getting the photos now.”  I felt a cool breeze blow across my legs.

“Oops, sorry about that.  I didn’t realize it was on high when I plugged it in.”  Rick had come back in while Beth and I were chatting and had turned on a fan.  “Here, Beth, change into this.  Your make-up and hair are already perfect for this shoot, so we’re fine there.”  Rick handed her another of my favorite outfits, a long, flowing, paisley printed skirt and a white, short sleeved shirt with ruffles around the arms and down the front of it.

“Oh, that will look precious on you!”  I watched as Beth began to disrobe and change into the outfit Rick handed her.  “Um, don’t you want to change behind the screen?”  Once again, I felt the blush rise to my cheeks.