Chasing Circumstance (15 page)

“No, I’m not modest at all.”  She again looked at me with that sultry smile painted across her face and finished changing her outfit.

“Alright, let’s do this ladies.”  Rick waved us over to the photo area.  “Okay, Amia, I need you to sit on that box, and Beth, stand between her legs, put your hands on her shoulders, look into her eyes and give me big smiles”

“What?  Really?  Are you sure that’s the look we want to go for with this campaign?”  I felt a bit flustered as Beth stepped between my legs.

“Amia, who’s the professional photographer here?  Have I ever let you down?”  He stepped behind his tri-pod and began to focus his lenses.

“No, you’re right.  Okay, let’s do this.”  I pushed the nerves from my body and did as he asked.

“Amia, look over my left shoulder.  Beth, that’s perfect.  Hold that.”  I heard the clicking of his camera.  “Beth, get up behind Amia.  Keep your knees to her back but turn your body and face toward me.”  He paused.  “Yep, just like that except I want your right arm over her shoulder.  YES!  Hold that.”  He took a few more shots and then picked up a different camera from a table near him.

“Rick, don’t forget we’re doing some photos of just Beth too.  I was almost afraid to move without his direction.

“Yep, I know.  We’ll take care of those later.  I’m loving what I’m seeing here.  Shut up and let me do my thing.”  Rick laughed as he looked over the top of his camera and smiled at me.

“Buttoning my lips now.”  I reached up and pretended to button my lips together.

“Don’t do that, Gorgeous.  Your lips are too pretty to do such a thing.” Beth had gotten down from the box and was standing at my side.  She reached up, touched my mouth, and gently ran her finger across my lower lip.  “I can think of better things to do with your lips than to button them up.”  She looked into my eyes, licked her lips and smiled.

“Down, Beth, down!”  Rick laughed as he raised his voice to her.  “We have work to do.”

“All work and no play makes Rick a boring man.”  Beth stood up, kissed her finger and brushed her hand across my chest, lightly grazing my breast as she moved.

“Come on, Beth.  Back to it.”  Rick stepped closer to us with his camera in his hand.  “Wait, you just gave me an idea.  Beth, step to your right, put your hand back over her breast and your finger in your mouth.”  He held the camera up to check the photo.  “Yes, just like that except tilt your head down and look up innocently out of the top of your eyes.  Yes!  Amia, place your left hand behind you and lean on it.  Put your right arm over her left shoulder.”

I felt myself disappear into an intense fog void of thought.  I was no longer Amia Durant.  I became a piece of clay waiting for Rick’s instruction and Beth’s touch to sculpt me into a new piece of art. 

“That’s right, Ladies.  Just like that.”  Rick’s voice echoed through the haze.

Beth moved in front of me, and bending at the waist, she pushed my dress up my legs.  Her hands rested at the top of my thighs as her tongue followed the path marked by the subtleness of her touch.  She moved her way up my body, her lips barely touching the material of my dress as she breathed against me. 

My heart fluttered in my chest as the dewiness of her tongue skipped up the supple skin of my neck until it met my lips.  Her tongue traced the contours of them before delicately piercing their softness in search of its mate. 

Placing a knee between my thighs, Beth lifted herself atop the box I was sitting on, forcing me to lie back.  Keeping her balance with her left hand next to my head, she slowly lowered herself until she was lying at my side.  All the while, our lips never lost contact.

I reached to touch her face as her hand moved over my hipbone, up my waist and finally settled on my breast.  Our lips moved feverishly against one another’s and I struggled to capture this moment and hold it in my memory.  My mind was still lost somewhere between the smoke and mirrors.

And that’s when I felt him pull my panties from my body.  His touch was discerningly rougher than hers as he tore the material from my legs.  A deep moan escaped with my breath as he buried his tongue in the wetness that Beth had created.

Lifting my hips to meet his mouth, I invited him to devour me, drink me in and take all that I had left to give.  The sensation of his tongue against my clit sent me to a place that I didn’t want to leave.  All thoughts ran screaming from my head except for the awareness of the two of them enjoying my body.

He stood, tightened his grip on my hips, and pulling me down to him, I felt his erection fill my body.  Beth pulled up her skirt and moved herself over my face, almost suffocating me with her moist center.  The flavor of her body rested exquisitely on my tongue and I enjoyed the creaminess of her offering.

I reached with my fingers to feel Rick driving in and out of me.  His tempo quickened and he began to pant as though searching for his breath.  I heard him make a low sound, the kind of sound that let me know intuitively, and by the feel of him softening inside me, that he had become useless to me.

Rick pulled away and watched as Beth took his place. Sliding her hand between my thighs, she parted my lips with her fingers.  She flicked her tongue against my skin, gently at first and then increased in pressure and speed as I did the same to her.  She ground her pussy against my mouth and cried out in orgasm.  I felt the rush of her warm juices flow over my face and down my neck as her body shuttered atop mine.

Her fingers moved inside me and slick sounds filled the studio as her fingers probed the wet folds of my skin. An intense tingling started in my toes, rushed over my entire body and I quaked with exhilaration.  She skillfully licked deep inside me and brought me to the same dizzying heights I had just delivered her to.  I inhaled deeply, trying to catch my breath as she got up and sat next to me.

“And that’s how it’s done, Rick.”  She wiped the wetness from her face and sneered at him.  “Did you get enough photos?”  Beth laughed as she jumped down from the box and got dressed.

“Have I told you how much I love your sense of humor, Beth?  No, we’ll need quite a few more photos.  I’ll call you on Monday to set it up.”  Rick stood up, embarrassed by his performance and put his jeans on.

“You didn’t take any non-essential photos, did you?”  I stood and walked behind the dressing screen to change into my own clothing.

“No, I promise.”  Rick answered me as he put away his cameras.

“Good.  Look, this was a very private thing.  I trust it will stay between the three of us?”  I stepped out from behind the screen.

“Oh, Honey, you don’t have to worry about anything.  After a performance like that, Rick won’t be bragging to anyone, and I don’t kiss and tell.  Ciao, Bella.”  Beth grabbed her purse and walked out of the studio.

“You know, I didn’t have this planned.”  Rick fumbled with his camera equipment.

“I know.  Just get me those photos as soon as you can.”  I gathered my things and stepped toward the door.  “And let’s never speak of this again.”  I shut the door behind me as I left.

I drove home and was happy to see there were no lights on except for the one on the porch.  I quietly walked in and upstairs to my room.  Seeing no signs of Jo, I figured she had gone to bed.

I put my things down and took another quick shower.  Wrapping up in a towel, I went to my desk, picked up my laptop and sat on my bed to write.

“Dear You,

We all have secrets that we share with no one.  Maybe it’s because we don’t have people to trust to keep our confidence, or our secrets are simply too personal to share.  It might be that we simply want to keep a little part of ourselves just for us. 

There is nothing wrong with having a secret.  Maybe it’s a secret desire or wish.  Maybe it’s something that makes you feel weak, or a memory that breaks your heart.  Maybe it’s just the thought of something that makes you smile.

Your secrets are a part of who you are.  They helped form you into the person you are at this very moment. If it is painful, forgive it.  If it’s healing, love it.  If it’s fun, laugh, but never give it away.  Hold tight to your secrets for they are the one thing in this life that can never be taken away.

So tonight, dear readers, I leave you with this question…

How have your secrets changed you?

~ Amia”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“Good morning, Sleepyhead.”  Jo sat on the side of my bed.

“What… Oh, good morning.”  I sat up and accepted the tray from her.  “What’s all this?”  Picking up the cup of coffee from the tray, I breathed in its rich aroma before taking a drink of it.

“It’s an I’m sorry, let’s not fight anymore breakfast.”  Jo took a piece of toast from the plate and dipped it in her coffee.

“Shouldn’t I have been the one that brought this to you then?”  I sat my coffee down and smiled at Jo.  “I’m so sorry about the way I talked to you yesterday.  I have no excuse except that I was in a bad mood because I hadn’t heard from Chace, and then with everything you said, I just found myself in an ugly place.  Forgive me?”  I scooted up and leaned against the head of my bed.

“I’m sorry too, Amia.  I shouldn’t have been so blunt.  It’s just that I love you like you were my little sister and I didn’t want to see you hurt in any way.  Forgive me?”  Jo reached across my bed and held my hand.

“Of course!  There’s nothing to forgive.”  I picked up the tray and set it aside before I stood up to hug her.  “I love you too!  Now, let’s enjoy this amazing breakfast you made.”  I sat back down and placed the tray between the two of us.

“Are you going to tell me what caused the change in mood, or do I have to guess?”  Again, Jo dipped her toast into her coffee before eating it.

“Let’s just say I had a very cleansing experience last night.  It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s simply that some secrets need to remain secrets.”  I stuffed a bunch of the mango Jo had cut up as part of our breakfast into my mouth to give myself a reason not to speak.

“Fair enough, I don’t need to know all your secrets.”  She winked at me before continuing.  “So, I don’t know if you want to hear this, but Chace called me last night.”

“Really?  Why would he call you?”  Even though my mouth was full of fruit, I had to ask.  I was shocked that he would call her.

“He said he had tried calling your cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail every time and he was worried about you.  He said he left you a message, and when you didn’t return his call, he called me to make sure you were alright and weren’t mad at him.”  Jo reached over to my bedside table and handed me my phone.  “You might want to listen to your message.”

“Why?  So he can lie to me and tell me some bullshit story explaining why he didn’t get a hold of me earlier yesterday when he was supposed to?”  I tossed my phone on the bed next to the breakfast tray.  “I’m really not interested.”

“I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to, but you should trust me when I tell you that you need to hear the message.”  Wiping some crumbs from her face, Jo smiled at me and drank her coffee.

“Fine, but I’m tellin’ ya, he’s just like all the rest of them. I’m SO done with men.  We should just become lesbian lovers and be happy the rest of our lives.”  I laughed as I picked up my phone and turned it on.

“Um, as beautiful as you are, you don’t have the proper equipment to satisfy me.”  Jo winked and smiled at me again.  “And, he’s not like every other man.  Give him a chance.”

“Do you know something you’re not telling me?”  I dialed the number for my voicemail and put it on speaker phone.

“Yes I do, but you need to hear it for yourself.”  Jo stood up and moved the tray to the floor.

“You have one new message.  Hey, Amia, this is Chace.  Please, call me so I can explain everything.”  I hung up my phone without deleting the message.

“Really?  That’s all he had to say?  Why would I call him after he stood me up and didn’t call me before hand to tell me why?”  I stood up, put on my robe and walked into the bathroom.

“Amia, he told me what happened, but I think it is best that you hear it from him.  Look, I don’t know what you did last night that brought all this on, but I really think you need to calm down and call him.”  Jo raised her voice so she could be heard over the running water in the bathroom.  “Amia?”

“Sorry, I was brushing my teeth.”  I wiped my face with a hand towel as I walked out of the bathroom.  “Fine, Jo, I’ll call him after I get dressed.  If you would please excuse me, I’ll meet you downstairs in a few minutes.” 

“Hey, I was thinking.  There’s nothing going on at work until we get those photos from Rick, so I want you to take a few days off and just relax.  That’s a direct order.”  Jo was standing by my bedroom door.

“Honestly, I would normally argue with you about this, but I really could use a few days off.  Thanks, Hun.”  I hugged her tight before closing the door behind her after she walked out.

I felt this deep seeded need to get out and go for a drive.  It was a beautiful autumn day and I knew the leaves would be changing colors.  I needed some time to think, to put things into perspective, and this would afford me the perfect opportunity to do just that.

I went to my dresser and pulled out my favorite pair of jeans.  They were full of holes and completely faded, but they were so comfortable that I just couldn’t get rid of them.  Choosing not to wear panties, I stepped into my jeans, pulled them up and fastened them.  Sometimes a woman just needed to feel free.

I walked into my closet and picked out an oversized grey, hooded sweatshirt.  Bra or no bra?  Yeah, it was a no bra kind of day.  After all, who was going to see me when I was in my car?

I sat at my dressing table, grabbed my hairbrush and brushed my hair into a ponytail on the back of my head.  Pulling my make-up from its basket, I put on some light foundation, lined my eyes with black eyeliner, applied mascara and finished with a thin layer of lip gloss.  I always felt more like me with at least a little make-up on.  It’s not that I was trying to hide anything, I simply felt complete when I was wearing it.

I picked out one of my favorite fuzzy scarves that was hanging on the door of the closet, put on my hiking boots, stuck my camera in my purse and started to head downstairs.  Shit, I forgot, I had to call Chace.  Sitting my purse on my bed, I picked up my phone and called him.

“I’m so glad you called.  Are you alright?”  Chace’s voice sounded like I had woke him.

“I’m fine.  Did I wake you?  I can call you later.”  I really didn’t know what to say to him and felt my heart begin to race because I was so nervous.

“No, I was just lying in bed watching the news and hoping you were going to call.”  I could hear the television in the background.

“I was a bit preoccupied last night, so I had shut my phone off.  Jo told me you called.  What do you want?”  I didn’t mean to sound so cold, but when he hadn’t called, I put the bricks back up around my heart.

“I wanted to explain what happened.  I promise I didn’t stand you up on purpose.  There was a huge, freak snow storm while I was at the airport in Canada.  It shut everything down and knocked out the power.  There was no cell service, no way for me to contact you.  The cell towers were still out even after they restored the power and cleared the runways.  I tried to call you the minute we landed, after I picked up my luggage, but your phone was off, so I called Jo.”  He rushed to tell me what happened as though he were worried that I would hang up before he got a chance to explain everything.

“Wow that must have been horrible.  How long were you there before they got it cleared?”  I felt my heart rate slow as he explained what happened.  He really hadn’t stood me up.  He truly was the guy I thought he was.  The bricks started crumbling down.

“Waiting out the storm wasn’t all that bad, it only took them about ten hours to restore services and clear the runways.  They gave us free food, and I was able to meet a lot of nice people.  The hardest part was not being able to get a hold of you.  I didn’t want you to get upset with me.  I don’t break promises unless I have no choice, and there was nothing I could do about this one.  I even tried to use the phone at the airport but it was out too.”  He still sounded a bit distressed over the entire situation.

“Well, I’m glad you made it through and are alright.  I missed you.”  My voice softened and a smile crossed my face.

“Really?  You’re not upset with me?”  Chace sounded surprised.

“How can I be upset when there was nothing you could do about it?  Things happen.”  I giggled a little because he sounded almost like a little boy that had been afraid of getting in trouble.

“I missed you too.  When can I see you?  Are you busy today?”  His voice became excited.

“Well, I made plans I would rather not break, but Jo told me I had to take the next three days off from work.  Can we do something then?”  Picking up my purse and scarf again, I headed downstairs to get a final cup of coffee before heading out on my trek.

“Sure!  I’m going into the bar today to check on everything and put a few hours in to catching up with paperwork and such, but we could do something tomorrow.  What would you like to do?”  I could hear him walking around.

“Surprise me.  I gotta let you go though.  I’m about to head out the door and I don’t like to talk on the phone while I’m driving.”  I poured myself a cup of coffee and set it on the counter.

“Okay, how about I pick you up around noon tomorrow and take you out for lunch?”  It sounded like Chace was doing the same thing I was and making himself a cup of coffee.

“That would be perfect.  I’ll see you then.  Bye.”  I started to hang up.

“Hey, wait, I miss you and can’t wait to see you.”  He cut in quickly before I hung up.

“I miss you too.  See you tomorrow.”  I hung up and smiled.

“See?  I told you that you needed to call him.”  Jo walked up behind me and touched my shoulder.

“You were right.  Thanks, Jo.  Poor guy has been through a lot.”  I touched her hand and turned around.

“Yep and the whole time his only thoughts were to get a hold of you.  That’s a great man in my book.”  She smiled at me before pouring herself another cup of coffee.

“In my book too.  Listen, I’m going to head out for a while.  I feel like going for a drive to clear my head.  Do you need anything while I’m out?”  I grabbed a to-go cup and poured my coffee into it so I could take it with me on my drive.

“Nope, I’m going to go grocery shopping today so I got it covered.  Did you add everything you wanted on the list?”  She pulled the list from its place on the refrigerator and started looking at it.

“Yep, I wrote it all down a couple of days ago.  Okay, I’ll see you tonight.  I’ll bring dinner home.”  I gave her a quick squeeze before heading to the front door.

“Make it Thai food and we’ll be best friends forever.”  Jo yelled after me as I walked away.

“No matter what I bring home, we’ll be best friends forever.”  I laughed as I walked out.

Though it was late morning, there was a crispness to the air that caused the morning dew to form frost across the lawn.  I wrapped my scarf around my neck before getting into my car.  Picking out one of my favorite alternative rock CDs, I put it in my stereo and cranked the music as loud as I could stand it.  It was so loud I was sure Jo could hear it in the house, but I didn’t care.  Today called for loud music.

There was only one place I could think of to go… Slide Mountain in the Catskills.  It was the highest peak in the mountain range and one of my favorite places in the world.  My parents had taken me there when I was younger on a hike. 

Both my parents were college professors.  We never spent a lot of time together because their professions kept them very busy.  I usually felt more like one of their projects than I did their daughter.  I was pushed to be the best at everything I did, and though it helped me to become the woman I was today, I couldn’t help but to wish things had been different.

As I drove up interstate 87, I thought about how the lack of love I felt as a child may have been the catalyst to me always searching for my white picket fence love.  Though it was not often shown around me, I knew my parents loved each other.  I just wondered if they loved me.  The hardest part was never being able to get answers to my questions because my parents had died in a car accident while I was away in college.  I missed them terribly.

About an hour into my trip, I stopped in Monroe, New York.  There was a quaint little Mom and Pop type convenience store with gas pumps right off the highway.  I pulled up to the pump, filled my tank and went inside to pay for it and refill my coffee.  As I walked in, the scent of fresh, homemade cinnamon rolls filled the air causing me to want one.  After paying for my purchase, I thanked the clerk and went back out to my car.  As I walked out, I noticed the beautiful color of the trees around me.  I sat my purchase on the top of my car, got my camera out of my purse, and took some photos.  Satisfied with the pictures I had taken, I grabbed my things and headed out to finish my journey.

Ninety minutes later, I arrived at Slide Mountain.  I pulled over, got out of my car, and just stared up at the mountain.  There was already a light covering of snow on the peak.

Deciding to go for a hike, I threw my purse over my shoulder and climbed over the guardrail.  Being very careful not to slip, I worked my way down the side of the hill next to the highway.  It wasn’t long before I found a walking path to follow.   

I had walked for about an hour when I came to a splendid clearing that allowed me a 360 degree view of the majestic beauty surrounding me.  Again, I retrieved my camera from my purse and took some photos.  The earth tones of the mountains made the bright colors of the leaves seem even more vibrant.  I stood there for a while just taking it all in, and letting everything go at the same time.  It was as if the wondrous beauty of my surroundings absorbed all of my pain and replaced it with pure serenity.