Chastity (2 page)

    Was he actually trying to smile?

    "I'm sorry." Dr. Carr laid a heavy hand briefly on her shoulder. "I was hard on you last night. Any other woman would have given me back more of the same, but it occurs to me that you were too much of a lady to be as rude as I was. I'm afraid my concern for my patient affected my manners."

    Chastity glanced toward the bed, not quite ready to accept his apology. "I was worried about him, too," she responded.

    "I know. You were a great help."

    "I've had some experience dealing with the infirm."

    "I should've realized that was the reason for your coolheadedness when any other woman in your situation would've panicked. Reed is a lucky man to have you at his side." Dr. Carr turned briefly toward his patient. "That medicine I gave him will let him sleep for a while. I suggest that you get some sleep, too, while you can. I'll check back on him later."

    The doctor's meaning filtered slowly through Chastity's exhaustion-dulled mind. He was expecting her to stay. No, she couldn't! She had   to be on her way. She responded softly, "I think it would be best if you found someone to take over from here, doctor. I can't. You see, I"

    "You can't? Come now." Dr. Carr's surprise was obvious. "You aren't going to panic on me now, are you? I'm only a few steps down the street if there's a problem, and you've demonstrated that you're a capable woman."

    "I'm not panicking." Chastity was suddenly at a loss for words. How could she explain that she was on her way to Caldwell, Kansas, on the first leg of a journey that she had waited all her life to undertake? And how could she make him understand that she feared further delay might weaken her already rapidly waning courage?

    Chastity responded instead, "Isn't there someone else who can take care of him? I mean"she searched for words that would not appear selfish” someone more suited?"

    "My dear woman," Dr. Carr said, sounding incredulous. "Someone more suited than you? You saw how Reed responded to you last night. Whatever demons were tormenting him, you were obviously the only one who could calm him. Surely you realize that if you hadn't, we might have lost the battle. He still isn't out of danger. I think that leaves you uniquely qualified for his care."

    Her face heating with embarrassment, Chastity glanced again toward the bed. She remembered only too well the warmth of that man's strong arms around her, the loving words whispered against her hair. But those words weren't meant for her.

    "He wasn't lucid. He didn't know what he was doing."

    "My dear, he knew."

    Unwilling to dispute the doctor's conviction, Charity blurted out, "Butbut I have so many things to do! There are things I must take care of, people I must contact."

    "I'm sure whatever those arrangements
are,
they are superseded by this emergency, my dear. You mustn't allow yourself to get upset about incidentals."

    
Incidentals?
Chastity stared. Every stitch of clothing she owned was in the suitcase that she had abandoned when she'd left the train to help Reed Farrell. If she hadn't remembered Aunt Penelope's comment about always carrying money close to the flesh when traveling, she wouldn't even have a cent to her name!

    Dr. Carr's expression softened. "Come, dear, why don't you rest? You'll feel differently about all this after a few hours' sleep. And Reed will be within your reach should he awaken."

    Chastity was aghast. "You mean you expect me to sleep in this room?"

    
"Of course."
Dr. Carr appeared puzzled. "It's a big room. That's why I told the hotel manager to send up those pillows and the extra blanket that're on the chair in the corner. The chair is well upholstered. You should be able to prop your feet on the ottoman and make yourself quite comfortable."

   "But"

    "Please, no more talk. You need rest, and so do I."

    Dr. Carr turned wearily toward the door. He looked back briefly, his hand on the knob. "I'll be back later this afternoon. You can send someone for me if you need me in the meantime. Reed's still very sick, but I think he'll be all right until then." Dr. Carr managed another smile as he drew the door closed behind him. "Try not to worry. Your husband is a strong man."

    
Your husband…?

    Chastity's response remained choked in her throat as the door clicked closed. She turned slowly to stare at the bed behind her, the import of the doctor's words rebounding in her mind. That was why he had been so angry with her that the reverend's wound had been neglected! That was why he had so casually ordered her to remove his patient's trousers and had become so annoyed at her hesitation! That was the reason he had so casually stripped away the parson's clothes in front of her and almost
ordered
her into the man's arms!

    Oh, no…

    Chastity's pale cheeks flamed with mortification! And she had followed the doctor's orders without protest, going so far as to help him remove the rest of the reverend's clothes, as if tending to a half-naked man was commonplace for her! What would the doctor think when he learned the truth? Her reputation would be ruined. She would never live it down. Gossip would follow her to Caldwellwherever she went. She would be considered a scarlet woman!

    Chastity unconsciously clutched her locket. No, she didn't want that, especially not now, when she was finally on her way
home
.

    Chastity covered her face with her hands. Her head jerked up at a low moan from the bed. It was the first sound the parson had made since the doctor had given him the sleeping powder, and she was beside him in a minute. The high color of his fever had faded, leaving him startlingly pale. Deep circles ringed the blue eyes that fluttered briefly open as his bearded cheek twitched with pain. His lips separated with a grimace that displayed white, even teeth beneath, and a tremor moved down her spine. She remembered the warmth of those lips against hers. He had been tender and gentle, despite the yearning she had sensed inside him because he believed she was his dear Jenny.

    She wondered where Jenny was now. And she wondered how it would feel to have this man love her that much.

    The reverend's heavy lids fluttered open briefly, revealing another flash of brilliant blue. His lips twitched in a smile before his eyes again closed.

    But that smile wasn't for her. She knew that instinctively, just as she knew that even while she stood beside him, in his mind, Chastity Lawrence didn't exist at all.

  Weariness suddenly overwhelmed her, and Chastity turned to look at the chair in the corner. She was tired. She needed sleep. She'd straighten things out when she awoke, and then she'd be on her way. Just a few hours' rest was all she needed.

    Sinking down into the chair moments later, Chastity pulled the blanket up over her shoulders, removed her glasses, and closed her eyes.

    
Where am I?

    His head throbbing, Reed struggled to raise his heavy eyelids. Squinting, he looked at the unfamiliar room around him. A blur of mismatched furniture and faded wallpaper swam before him. How had he gotten here?

    The pounding in his head increased as Reed strained to remember. He had been on the train going to Sedalia, and he was sick.
His leg.
He slid a hand under the blanket, suddenly realizing that he was naked except for his small-clothes and the bandage on his leg. He winced with pain when he touched his thigh. Yes, he remembered. The doctor had warned him that his wound had become infected and needed care, but he had been determined that Will Morgan would not escape him this time.

    He felt hot. He pushed the blanket down to his waist, relieved when the damp skin of his chest was exposed to the cooling air. He had a fever. Yes… the train ride had become a nightmare that would not end. He recalled hearing the conductor call out that they were
nearing  Sedalia
, and he remembered standing up to get his bag.

    Memory abruptly faded. Was that where he was, in Sedalia? He touched his leg gingerly. The bandage was dry. It had been changed.

    Suddenly angry at his confusion, he lifted his head. Pain stabbed simultaneously in his temple and thigh, and he groaned aloud. The sound brought a woman to his bedside. He strained to identify her.

    No, it couldn't be! Blinking his eyes, Reed struggled to clear his vision. The woman did not speak. Instead, she stood looking soberly down at him. Her hair glinted in the light filtering through the window. It glowed with a reddish cast. No, Jenny's hair was brown, and it glowed honey gold in the sun.

    Hot… he was so hot.

    Reed tried to uncover himself, to escape the heat. He was being consumed by the fire under his skin.

    ''No, don't do that."

    The vision spoke and Reed froze into stillness. A slow joy began rising within. It
was
her! She was real. She was here. She had returned to him!

    Choked laughter rose in his throat, emerging in a strange, croaking sound as he tried to throw the coverlet back.

    "No, please. You're sick. Don't uncover yourself."

    He caught her hand as she attempted to stop   him. He held it tightly, refusing to let go. He whispered, "Don't leave."

    She went still,
then
responded softly, "You don't understand. I'm not who you think I am."

    "Don't leave…" The light was dimming. "Don't leave me again."

    "Reverend… Reed, please try to understand."

    Panic beset him at her tone. The heat within grew hotter. It consumed the light. She was fading away, and he begged with his last remaining breath, "Don't leave!"

    The last spot of light dwindled as he heard her respond, her voice somehow sad.

    "No, I won't leave you."

 Sedalia's rutted main street was alive with traffic in the bright sunlight of early afternoon. Chastity walked along the board sidewalk, squinting against the glare. She turned at the sound of loud rumbling to see a large, dilapidated wagon loaded with hides lumbering past. A group of mounted men in travel-stained clothing turned onto the thoroughfare, their hats pulled down on their foreheads and their guns slung low on their hips. Loud music and shrill laughter came from the gaudily painted saloon across the street, while in front of her, women clad in unstylish clothing moved briskly along a line of wooden, false-fronted buildings that appeared hopelessly primitive to Chastity's eye.

All contrasted acutely with the cobbled   streets and graceful architecture of New York City, where she had been schooled and raised. She was struck with a momentary sense of unreality.

    That feeling of unreality soared as Chastity glimpsed her reflection in a storefront window. The woman who stared back at her bore little resemblance to the meticulously groomed and soberly dressed Chastity Lawrence who had begun her journey West days earlier. Fiery hair formerly confined neatly under a modest bonnet glittered in the sun, the wanton tendrils at her hairline dancing in the warm breeze. Her discreet black dress, carefully chosen for its conservative style, was badly wrinkled and
untidy,
clearly revealing that she had slept in it. Adding to her dissolute appearance were two missing buttons on her bodice, lost somewhere during the previous night's struggles, which allowed her neckline to gap in a most improper way. The resulting effect was an appearance that gave a totally erroneous impression of the type of woman she was, and of the activities which had left her in such a tousled state.

    Chastity suppressed an embarrassed groan. She had been so disoriented when she'd been awakened from an exhausted nap by Dr. Carr a few minutes earlier that she'd given no thought to her dishevelment when he dispatched her to "get herself a proper meal."

    Chagrined, she could almost hear her aunts' anxious advice.

    
"
Chastity
…" Aunt Penelope would try to be   diplomatic.

"Your hair, dear… it is outlandishly bright in color and far too unruly. You must make a better effort to control it if you wish to preserve a respectable appearance. A bonnet, dear… you must buy another one immediately. It's your only salvation!"

    Aunt Harriet, of course, would counter with a more direct reply.
"A bonnet!
Penelope, really! Your eyesight must be failing! That's the least of Chastity's present concerns!"

    
"She needs a bonnet, I tell you… and her glasses! Where are your glasses, Chastity?"

    Yes, where were her glasses? For the life of her, she could not remember.