Cheap & Classy (Hide Your Crazy) (9 page)

Chapter 16

“Condoms are no longer an option, or a mythical creature you have to go searching for.”

“Please tell me that isn’t what I think it is,” I groaned, dropping my head into my hands.

“Um, well.
Yeah.” Megan gave me a half smile while dropping her top back down. Of all the idiotic things that woman could have done, getting herself felt up by Chance probably topped the list. Well, thinking things could work with Reid was pretty stupid, too, but Chance?

“Why in the hell would you touch that man? Do you know where his penis has been?”

“I’m sorry, Molly. It just sort of happened. I mean………….” Megan looked like she was about to cry. Hell, I wanted to fucking cry.

“Alright.
First, go get a shower and scrub the nastiness off your body. Then I want you to see the medics and have it taped off. I refuse to let whatever this stupid thing is spread any further.” Cringing at the thought of my assistant and my client getting naked together, I had to push it further back in my mind in order to get a hold on the situation. “Please tell me you wore a condom?”

“Of course.
It may have been a stupid moment, but I’m not dumb.” Megan offered me a weak smile and headed for the door. Turning around to the other band members sitting on the couches, I narrowed my eyes at each one of them.

“Strip,” I demanded, looking at each of them directly.

“We didn’t touch, Chance, Molly,” Eric said defensively.

“I sure as hell hope you haven’t.
” But, in the case that this could have possibly spread from being on the bus, everyone needed every damn nook and cranny checked. “Drop your drawers, boys, because this is the only time I want to see any of you naked. Got it?”  I watched as Brantley started to open his mouth, but quickly held up a finger to him, signaling I had no time for his smart ass comments on us being naked together before. 

The guys started stripping off their shirts, and glanced around the room at all the other participants. “Everyone out,” I shouted, looking at all the bystanders just standing there gawking at the events unfolding. “I’m serious! The only people I want in this damn room right now
are the band, the doctor, and myself. So move!” The crowd scurried out of the room, some tossing nasty looks as they exited.

“I want to see skin
, boys.” Pursing my lips together, I placed my hands on my hips and forced a tight smile. As ridiculous as this situation was right now, having these men standing almost naked in their boxers was giving me some satisfaction. “Doctor?” Gesturing to my half naked boys, I forced a snicker from escaping my lips and nodded my head. Idiots.

“I’m really sorry that this happened,” Megan apologized for the twentieth time as we stood listening to sound check.

“Just don’t let it happen again. Have more respect for yourself
, Megan. Chance is not a knight in shining armor.”

“It was a
hasty decision that I have completely come to my senses on now.”

Smiling at her, I turn
ed back and watched as the guys tore up the stage. Thankfully, the only two people affected by the skin eating bacteria were the ones doing the horizontal mambo, and luckily one half of that equation promised it wouldn’t happen again.

“Delivery for a Miss
. Molly Anne?” The poor delivery guy was engulfed behind a massive bouquet of orange lilies, that we could barely hear who they were for.

“Molly?” Megan said in confusion, r
aising her eyebrow in suspicion.

“Sorry, did you say Molly Anne?” I asked the guy, racking my head as to who in the world could have possibly sent them.

“Yes, Miss. Molly Anne,” he stammered again, shifting the bouquet in his arms once more.

“Sorry,” I rambled while reaching for
the colossal overload of flowers. “Who in the world would send me these?”

“There’s a card,” Megan piped up, standing on her tiptoes to reach the cardholder. “Want me to open it?”

“Yeah, considering I don’t think I can one hand these things,” I muttered through flowers in my face.

“All it says is Reid.” Just when I was finally getting all the little ducks in a row this after
noon, one went and fucking waddled off, causing major chaos in my otherwise uneventful life. Wow, I really needed to stop lying to myself; my life was far from uneventful.

“What am I going to do with those?” I said out loud, staring at the beautiful flowers sitting in a chair.

“Put them in water?”

“You officially suck
, Megan.” Grumbling quietly, I continued to glare at the flowers. How could something so freaking pretty and simple make my mind spin a thousand miles per hour? Flowers could be any kind of gesture. They could have been an ‘I’m sorry for making you be in the video’ or even an ‘I’m sorry for going all caveman on you at the shoot.’ Or, just to throw a stupid crescent wrench into the mix, they could be ‘I’m madly still in love with you and next time we see each other I want in your pants’ kind of flowers. Coming from Reid, I was leaning toward the sex flowers, but then I been completely wrong in the past too.

“Alright, well if you are just going to stand there, looking like an idiot, I’m going to go find some water for these,” Megan piped up, grabbing the bouquet from the chair and wandering off.

“Don’t think this small act of kindness if excusing you for your gigantic lapse of judgment earlier!” I yelled after her.
The fact that she actually got naked with that man, and had skin to skin contact made me want to call an exterminator and have the busses fumigated. My phone started to buzz in my hand, startling me from my skin rash infection haze. Reid’s name flashed across the screen, instantly sending chills down my spine. Of course he would call right now. Exactly in the middle of pondering what the hell those flowers meant and how to keep Chance and Megan far from me.

Tentatively, I pressed accept and slowly brought the phone up to my ear. “Hello?”

“Did you get your flowers yet?”

“Um………..yep.
Just putting them in water right now,” I lied, biting the inside of my lip and shaking my head.
Could I sound anymore lame?

“I miss you
, Molly Anne.” Reid’s voice instantly melted my ice cold heart; making me swoon for all the right reasons for once in my messed up disaster of a life.

“I miss you
, too,” I whispered, quickly glancing around and silently praying no one heard me.

“Is that PD in the background?”

“Yeah, sounds good, huh?”

“Fuck yeah; their new sound is great.” Wasn’t conversation supposed to come easy when you were in love with the other person? Seriously, I felt like this brief little chat was completely forced and awkward.

“Well, I should probably get back to the studio,” Reid’s voice trailed off, letting that horrible weird silence fill the line again.

“Yep,” I replied again.

“Well, I love you.”

“Isn’
t it way too early to be blurting out I love you again? I mean, shit. Last time was a giant disaster, and well we just started speaking to one another again like last week,” I babbled like a lunatic on speed. One of these days my brain was going to catch up with my heart, and I would be fortunate enough to spare anyone else these sudden outbursts of crazy.

“Molly Anne, shut your damn brain down and say goodbye,” Reid demanded firmly.

“Okay, bye.” Ending the call before anything more could spring from my lips, I dropped my head back and stared blindly into a large white spotlight. Could my life get any weirder?

“So
, boys and girls,” I glared at Megan standing next to me, who instantly turned a deep shade of red. “Condoms are no longer optional. Not like they were before, but you know what I mean. There will be a plethora of them stocked on both buses, back stage in the dressing area, and I will probably stuff your pockets before leaving for any other function. So please, don’t claim you couldn’t find one. They are not some mythical creature that you have to hunt down to mount on your damn wall.” A collective groan came from both bands sitting on the two leather couches backstage. “Don’t think I’m above interrupting your hokey pokey session to make sure your wiener is wrapped up. I’m serious, guys. No communicable diseases or babies. I refuse to doctor your nastiness or change diapers. Got it?”

A couple snickers came from some of the guys while Chance puckered up and air kissed in Megan’s direction. “And please, take care of that issue before I kill the both of you, okay?”

“You have nothing to worry about,” she reassured me in a whisper. As much as I would like to believe her, Reid and I were the prime example of trying to stay away from each other. Shit, even with the humongous blow up, leaving his tour, Brantley, and even the pregnancy scare apparently couldn’t keep us apart. Witchcraft. It had to be witchcraft.

“So
you’re telling me I have to wear a rubber?” one of the guys from the opening act questioned rather rudely.

“I’m not telling you to do anything. I’m just advising your little opening act band. If you guys ever plan on making it big, getting signed to a major label, and headlining your own tour, I suggest you keep your penis disea
se free and the offspring to a minimum.” I couldn’t believe the ignorance and stupidity these men spouted out.

“Wow, look at the time,” Megan blurted out, faking a glance at her cellphone in a panic to ease some of the tension in the room. “I need you guys to hit wardrobe. Meet and greet is in a half hour.”

Narrowing my eyes at PD I gave them one last threatening glance. They knew I meant business, and I expected for my simple little rule to be followed. “I’ll see you guys in the MG room in twenty.” Raising my eyebrows at them as they filed out of the dressing room, I let out a loud sigh. “Is keeping their dick covered really too much to ask?”

“Apparently.
” Megan tried to stifle a giggle while patting my shoulder.

“This tour is doomed,” I grumbled, kicking an empty red
Solo
cup lying on the floor.

Chapter 17

Sex, that is all.

I had gone through seven packs of Double-A batteries since starting this tour. Four and half of them since getting back with Reid. Technically we hadn’t really discussed if we were actually dating again. And really, did we ever make it exclusive before? I mean it was common knowledge that I wasn’t going to screw anyone else while giving my heart to that man, but I really needed to set some boundaries and see where he stood on the whole monogamy thing. He claimed I was the only one for him, but everyone knew that could change at the drop of the hat. It was like my vibrators. I’d go on a kick for a while with one, swearing that it was the best thing ever and I only ever used that bad boy for the rest of my life. Then, I started online shopping and found a new contraption to try, and low and behold a new favorite toy. It’s like a brand spanking new adventure for my vagina every time an
Amazon
box showed up at a different tour stop. Thankfully, no one had the nerve to open the boxes; otherwise my wholesome cover would be blown.

Laughing
out loud at my ‘wholesome’ thought, I slid the scissors into my newest arrival, The Dolphin.

“Hey M
olly? Stephanie is on the phone something about a stay over in Midland tonight?” Megan said from the other side of the black curtain.

Quickly stuffing the package behind
me, I instantly sulked at the thought of waiting to try out the new beast. I don’t know why I decided to open it, considering I couldn’t take the new boy for a spin until later anyhow.  Such a tease for my poor, lonely, sad vagina. I needed the real thing, and preferably attached to a man named Reid Chambers.

“Uh Molly?”

“Sorry.” Quickly, I snatched the curtain back and reached for the phone. “Hi Steph.”

“So, no hurry tonight after the show.
I know you guys were planning on getting right over to Austin, but take the night off and relax,” Stephanie said on the other end of the line.

“We have two radio stints in the morning though.”

“Well, have Megan reschedule them.”

“Really
, Stephanie, we are fine with getting on the road,” I rambled quickly.

“
Nonsense. Have fun,” she said in a sing-song kind of voice. “Talk with you soon.”

Before I could utter another word
, the call ended and I was left sitting in my bunk staring at Megan in wonder. No one was burnt out on the tour yet, and I was making sure there were plenty of activities for the guys to do in the down time to keep them entertained and happy. I wasn’t on the verge of another break down, so canceling the radio spots tomorrow and having the evening free before heading out in the morning just didn’t sit well with me.

“Everything okay?”
Megan asked, raising her eyebrows in question.

“
Stephanie wants you to reschedule the radio interviews tomorrow morning. I guess we are staying the night in Midland.” I shrugged, unfolding myself from the small bottom bunk.

“Should I make arrangements for a hotel tonight then?”

“Yeah, I guess……….” I started to reply as my phone chirped. Grabbing it from the bed, I opened my email and noticed a hotel confirmation number sent from Stephanie. “I guess not, Megan; Stephanie just emailed me confirmation codes.” Giving Megan a half smile, I straightened out my tank top and side stepped around Megan to let the guys know of the change of plans tonight.

“Uh…………Molly?”

“Yeah?”

“You might want to close the box or the curtain,” Megan said with a small laugh, pointing to my new vibrator out in the open for everyone to see.

“Fuck.”

“Hey guys,” I called out while walking up to the front of the bus. Eric and Jeremy were working on their guitars while Chance and Brantley were focused in on whatever killing game was on the Xbox. “So we are staying over tonight after the concert. Megan is working on rescheduling the radio promos for the next morning since we are already in Austin for the night.”

“Does that mean we can go out tonight?” Chance asked as he paused the game.

“Tonight will be a
bout taking some quiet time and relaxing. There will be no strippers, booze, prostitutes, groupies, escorts, or models for that matter. Just a nice relaxing evening, got it?” Glancing around the small bus, I made eye contact with each of the members, stopping a little longer at Chance to make sure he got what I was saying.

“So, we cou
ld have just normal girls then.” Chance winked, letting the ends of his lips curl up in a smart ass smile.

“No girls
, Chance.”

“I guess I’ll have to settle for you then
, Molly.”

“I’ve taken up a vow of celibacy, but thanks for thinking of me,” I replied in a deadpan tone. There would be no way I would ever get naked with him,
and even more so now that he had the plague all over his damn body.

“Looks like Molly is going to need another pack of batteries tonight,” Brantley snickered, leaning across the small isle to high five Eric lik
e the immature bastards they were.

“Just for that comment,
you two dicks can share a room.” I snarled, glaring at the two assholes.

“Did you forget that Ashley was joining us for a couple days
, starting tonight?” Brantley remarked, letting that stupid smile of his grace his face.

“Uh…………..nope.
Didn’t forget at all,” I muttered, glancing over at Megan with large eyes. How in the hell did I forget about Brantley’s wife? You would think that I could remember something like that, considering the douche waffle of a man cheated on his gorgeous wife with me not so long ago and no one had the balls to say anything to either of them about it.

“I already have your hotel room booked for you and Ashley, Brantley. How many days is she joining us for again?” Megan butted in, quickly taking the reins from my otherwise jumbled thought process.

“She is meeting us tonight in Midland and staying until Kansas.”

“Great,” I muffled quietly. With my luck
, the woman would find out that I slept with her husband on several occasions and now we were one big happy fucking messed up
Brady Bunch
family. Why was life so cruel at times? I know I deserved it for messing around with a married man, but fuck. The Karma gods should have at least given me some credit for not knowing that Brantley was an elitist-crotch-goblin, who preyed on the innocent and weak.

“Once again
, Molly. I am going to offer up my services if you haven’t had the time to get some new batteries,” Chance laughed again, pouting his lips while grabbing his crotch.

“Does everyone know about my vibrator
collection?” I demanded, glancing around at all four of them.

“Well, we know that
you get shipments every couple days, and Chance was the one who opened the package last week. We just put two and two together with your obsession on buying batteries,” Jeremy managed to say with a straight face.

Instantly
, my jaw dropped at the announcement of my not so hidden secret. “It was just that one package,” I stammered.

“Is that the one that was buzzing two weeks ago?” Eric snickered.

“I hate you all,” I roared, stomping my way back to the end of the bus.

“Does that me
an a no go sharing a room?” Chance yelled after me.

“I fucking hate you!” Laughter filled the front of the bus as I locked myself in the small bathroom. Of all things the guys could have found out about, my vibrator collection was not something I was ready to share just yet.
Well played, Karma gods, well played.

The conc
ert hall was completely packed. Not even scalpers had tickets for the shows, and those vultures seemed to get their hands on just about anything to sell. Having watched Brantley and his wife’s joyfully sickening reunion earlier backstage made me a little bitter for the rest of the evening. It wasn’t that I had feelings for that man anymore; but I hated to see him happy. I really wanted to rip out his heart and feed it to the lions, make him feel the pain I felt that night back at the airport hangar. It wasn’t jealously that seeped from my pores; it was sheer disgust for a man that could have something so magical and special when he royally screwed me over. No matter how many nice acts I did for the world, I always seemed to manage to pick the short stick. Sure, I had Reid now. We had been texting back and forth the last couple of days, though we never had the time to connect vocally. It was like, here; let me tease your mind and body with these short words, but that is all you are ever going to get.

“Universe, you win,” I shouted at the ceiling, slamming the folding chair down behind a table.

“You having issues, there Molly,” Brantley joked as he walked into the room.

“How’s your wife?” I bit b
ack, snarling at his stupid grin plastered on his stupid face.

“Hit a sore spot there?” Brantley said while holding his hands up in surrender.

“I can’t believe you had the balls to say that.”

“Well, you know all about my balls there
, Molly.”

“Gross.
” I sighed, unfolding another chair and sliding it under the table. “How in the world can you be so charming and nice one moment, then a complete jerkface the next? At least with the other guys I can predict the comments that will leave their mouths, but with you, it’s a fricken’ mystery.”

“Molly, I don’t s
ay things like that to hurt you; it’s just a joke,” Brantley apologizes as he reaches for the chairs to help.

“
Well, Brantley, that just isn’t how I always take it,” I grumbled, stopping to pause and look at the man. One would think I could get over something like that swiftly, move on with the amazing man in my life now. However, maybe I was just a glutton for punishment and dragged things out longer than they should be.

“Give Ashley a chance
, Molly. I bet you’ll really like her,” Brantley called out while leaving the room.

Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.

Waiting in the back o
f the room, as security filed the two hundred girls like cattle waiting to be branded, I glanced over to the far wall and caught Ashley smiling at me. Like a deer caught in the headlights, I panicked when our eyes connected. I couldn’t just look away, that would be rude and hostile, and so I forced a perfect fake smile and a small head nod.
That was a good enough gesture, right?

“Fuck, of course she is going to come over here now,”
I mumbled to myself, quickly averting my gaze at anything but her.

“Hi Molly,”
her thick southern accent slid out as she took up next to me on the wall.

“Hi Ashley.
How is your evening going?”

“Oh
, darling, it’s so nice to be around everyone again,” she drawled, flashing me a sweet as sin smile that could melt even an ice queen’s heart.

Nodding my head, I forced my eyes down to my clipboard, pretending to read something important as she watched the guys do their thing with the fans. Why in the world did this woman have to look like a freaking Texas state beauty queen? My mother would have loved this girl in pageants. Perfectly sun-kissed skin, long legs, small frame, fabulously shiny blonde hair that curled in all the right places and even bounced when she fucking walked. Not to mention the fact that they had a daughter only ten months ago and this woman didn’t even look like she had birthed the kid. Yep, perfect southern house wife that had to have sold her soul to the devil himself to look that good.

“I like your shoes,” Ashley commented, glancing down at my bright red ballet flats.

“I like yours
, too,” I said back quickly before even glancing at what she had on her feet.

“Thanks, but I bet yours are way more comfortable than mine,” she giggled, lifting her right foot off the ground and shaking her sparkly stiletto
gently.

Of course she w
as wearing hooker heels, women like that didn’t wear flats. I could count on one hand the number of times I saw my mother in flats
. “Women wear heels, Molly Anne. Otherwise your feet will look ugly,”
my mother always squawked whenever we went shoe shopping. Of course I had never really mastered the art of wearing heels, but could fumble my way through a short evening if need be.

“Yeah, I like my flats,” I commented, offering Ashley a genuine smile; silently thinking her feet must hurt like a bitch by the end of the night and getting some sort of sick enjoyment out of
watching the woman suffer. I was so going to hell.