Chiaroscuro (23 page)

"Oh good," Ben said faintly.

"You should get a job drawing portraits at the boardwalk," someone told Jamie, who laughed.

"I have other plans, but thanks." A few more minutes of scratching pencil, and then he said, "Okay. You can move, Benjie. Thank you."

Ben stretched and turned around, while Dune and other people, including Ryan, leaned over Jamie's shoulder to see. "Beautiful," Dune said. "If you paint it the colors will be fantastic--the Black Irish skin and the wings and the tattoo."

"My Black Irish skin, not just 'the,'" Ben said and leaned over to look. He swallowed hard. Somehow, just with his pencil, Jamie had defined his body, captured it--not just his muscles and skin but the tension in his shoulders, the way the straps of the wings bit into his skin, and the skeptical look on his face. His tattoo stood out starkly on the page, the darkest point in the entire sketch.

"I think I will paint it," Jamie said and smiled at Ben.

Ben kissed him, firm and quick, and grinned. "Whatever you want, Jamie-lad."

Micah, forlorn and alone at the end of one of the couches, abruptly stood and walked out of the apartment, slamming the door ostentatiously behind him. All talk fell silent for a moment, and then Ryan, blushing a little, said, "I think we're going home. Thanks for the party, Dune."

"Sure," Dune said gently. "Be safe, guys."

Ryan nodded and went after Micah, and Ben glanced at Jamie, whose expression was neutral as he tucked away his pencil in the sketchbook binding. He touched Jamie's knee. "Hey."

"I am perfectly okay," Jamie said and added in an undertone to Ben, "But I do think it's time you and I were elsewhere."

"Gladly." He kissed Jamie again and got to his feet. "I'll get my coat."

"Benjie?" Ben paused. Jamie looked entirely too innocent. "Bring the wings."

***

"The tongue," Jamie said as he traced his fingertips over Ben's chest, "is a muscle. Very few people know that."

Ben hummed, watching him through half-closed eyes. "Or they choose not to think about it."

"True. Why wouldn't they, though. You can strengthen a tongue the same way you strengthen other muscles. Give it plenty of--" He bent his head and kissed Ben's nipple, sucking it lightly for a moment before releasing it, making Ben sigh. "Exercise."

"You can exercise your tongue on me anytime you like," Ben said.

"Oh, I intend to." His breath was warm on Ben's skin as he dabbled his way across Ben's chest, and then he paused and glanced at him. "Er, if you want, of course."

Ben smiled and hooked his arms over Jamie's shoulders. "I think you can assume I want. I want very much."

"Oh, good," Jamie breathed and kissed him, hands sliding over his chest. Ben slipped his own under the cotton shirt Jamie still wore, heavy with gold-threaded insignia, and thumbed his nipples as he exercised his own tongue a bit. He did crunches for the flat abs, so why not French-kissing for the strong tongue?

Jamie was laughing when he broke the kiss, mischief in his eyes. "I think you see what I mean."

"I do indeed. Come back here." He tugged Jamie's head close enough to kiss again.

"Ben?"

"Yeah, Sunshine?"

"Thanks."

Ben pulled back to look at him full in the face. "For coming home and getting naked with you? You really do need to set your standards higher, gorgeous."

"I mean, you--I was a wreck tonight." He didn't look into Ben's eyes, watching his fingers tap down Ben's sternum instead. "And then you came along and…and it was better."

Ben pressed his lips together, and then said easily, "I just gave you a poke in the right direction."

"I still can't talk to him. I don't know if I'll ever want to."

"You will," Ben said and kissed Jamie lightly. "You were good friends at one point, weren't you?"

"Yeah, but--it just hurt so much, Benjie."

"I know. Tender-hearted Jamie." He touched Jamie's chest, ran his fingers through the fine golden hair and tweaked the nipple ring, making Jamie shiver. "Forgiveness feels better than holding grudges, though."

"I've never been very good at that."

"I'll help. Think of me as your spiritual guru and example of light-hearted living."

Jamie kissed him, holding his hands. "You do make my heart light," he said, avoiding his eyes again, and set about sucking on his neck.

Ben ran his hand through Jamie's hair, letting his eyes close. "I do my best."

"I have something to show you," Jamie said abruptly and got off the bed.

"I think you've shown me everything you've got."

"It's something I made for you, dopey." He leaned over and kissed Ben's forehead.

"You can't cook," Ben said, not moving.

"I don't cook as well as you, but that's beside the point. It's not food. It's on the computer."

"You got me a computer?"

"No," Jamie said patiently, "I made you something and it's on the computer. Wow, but you're dense when you want sex."

"Am not," Ben said with a pout, and finally gave up and got up from bed as well. "Is it porn?"

"No." He pulled on Ben's hands. "It is not porn. Just come on already."

Ben draped himself over Jamie and kissed the top of his head. "I can hardly wait." He followed Jamie to his desk in the front room and kept his arms around Jamie as he booted up his computer and loaded a program.

"Just a few minutes to look at this and then we'll go back to bed and you can have your way with me. Consider this preemptive permission."

"It's your turn to have your way with me," Ben said, but fell silent as the program loaded and Jamie turned away from the monitor to look up at him, smiling proudly. The computer showed a website--a website in colors that were bright and cheerful as his favorite pair of Madras shorts, with photographs of the Rhia cake and the moon cake, a hand-drawn fantasy cake anchoring a banner that read, "Cakes by Ben Gallagher." It was a site that he knew he would have made for himself if he knew how to do such things. "Jamie," he began, but "thank you" felt inadequate.

"It's not online yet," Jamie said. "I need to buy a domain name and figure out the hosting, but I wanted to talk to you about it before I went that far. But this is how it will look. I just need more pictures and some more information to make it complete."

"It's beautiful." He knelt so they were eye-level and kissed Jamie fiercely. "Thank you. It's beautiful. It's perfect."

Jamie beamed like the mid-morning sun and hugged him. "I was just doodling but it just fell into place. You like plaid--"

"I love plaid."

"--so it's kind of plaid. I had such a good time choosing the colors. Nothing fussy. Just straight-forward and a bit loud. Like you."

"Like me," Ben echoed and kissed him again. The thought struck him--He gets me, he really gets me,--and Jamie got kissed over and over for it.

"If I'd known you'd like it this much," Jamie muttered when Ben moved his mouth elsewhere, "I would've done this a long time ago."

Ben laughed out loud and tackled him to the floor, getting a belly laugh from Jamie and arms and legs wrapped around him. "You want to know how many people have done things like this for me? Exactly none. People don't even make me cookies."

"It would be silly," Jamie said, struggling out of his shirt as best he could without letting Ben go. "You have all the cookies you want already."

"It's the principle of the thing."

"You can consider this my thank you for helping me paint," Jamie suggested and arched up to Ben's mouth.

"You bought me pizza for that already," Ben mumbled into Jamie's belly and licked his navel. "It was very good pizza. Sourdough crust. Lots of mushrooms."

"I never would have guessed you'd fall over backwards for pizza."

Ben pushed himself up over Jamie. "Who's the one on his back, now?" He kissed him, hard and deep, and let Jamie push him onto his knees so he could sit up and take off his shirt. He held Jamie by the waist and kissed him, mouth and neck and chest, and undid the tight white pants, pushing them down his hips.

"Neither of us," Jamie said in a breathless voice, "and that's what I like about us. The equality. The--the partnership--" He moaned, his head falling back, as Ben's hand closed around his cock.

"The foreplay," Ben muttered and licked his chest. "The oral sex."

Jamie shivered as Ben's mouth moved to his belly. "Oh, yes...Oral sex is a vital part of--whatever it is we were talking about."

"Us." He licked the head of Jamie's cock and grinned when Jamie moaned. "A vital part of us." He took Jamie into his mouth, sliding him slowly and carefully into his throat. Jamie groaned, one hand twisting into Ben's hair and the other gripping his shoulder. His body rocked and shivered and Ben sucked hard, wanting to hear him shout.

He didn't have long to wait--it was as if they'd been teasing each other since the party began, and Jamie was soon panting and thrusting and digging his fingertips into Ben's scalp. "I'm--I'm--" he gasped as Ben sucked as hard as he could and pushed a finger into Jamie's ass. His body tensed and he shouted a loud, "Fuck!" as he came.

Ben swallowed and licked his way up Jamie's softening erection, and raised his head, licking his lips. "Condoms are in the night table, right?"

"Right," Jamie said, panting for breath.

"Don't move," said Ben and went into Jamie's bedroom. The box was in the top drawer--he took out one foil-wrapped package and then a second, just in case. He paused and grinned, and picked up the abandoned wings. He shrugged them on, made sure they were straight, and went back into the living room.

Jamie burst out laughing at the sight of him. "Gonna fuck me like that?"

"You did want me to bring them--I figured there was a reason." He twitched his shoulders and got onto his knees between Jamie's thighs. "Some sort of wicked fetish you've got."

Jamie put his arms around Ben's neck and kissed him. "Very wicked," he murmured in agreement. "Fuck me, angel."

Ben tore open the condom wrapper and pressed it into Jamie's hand. "Put it on me."

Jamie's teeth sank into his lower lip and he reached down between them, carefully unfurling the condom onto Ben's cock. Ben inhaled, watching him, and when it was in place lifted Jamie's hips and slipped into him.

Jamie grunted and his hands clenched. Ben held his face in one hand, watching his storm-colored eyes grow dark, the flush in his face deepen, his lips curl back from his teeth. He raised his legs high, crossing his ankles behind Ben's back, just under the wings. He ran his hands over them and Ben twitched his shoulders, hips moving slow and steady as Jamie held onto the wings. Ben breathed against Jamie's lips, darting out his tongue to taste them sometimes, smiling when Jamie's tongue flicked out in response.

Balls-deep in, deep inside Jamie and it felt so good, beyond-words good. His body was tight and hot, and Ben let go--let go of everything, of work and family and stress and worry and everything, all of it, because he had Jamie and Jamie was beautiful enough to make everything else pale. He'd seen it that first day at the wedding, had called him sunshine without thinking about it, but he knew why now.

"What?" Jamie whispered, gasping. "What are you smiling at?"

"I'm happy." Ben kissed him. "I'm--" His breath hitched and he shuddered, his hand curling around Jamie's shoulder and his teeth digging into Jamie's neck.

"Oh," Jamie breathed as Ben collapsed onto him. He wrapped his arms around Ben's back and kissed his damp hair. "Yeah. I know."

Ben lay in Jamie's arms for some minutes as Jamie kissed and petted him, and then with a kiss pulled out and got to his feet. He went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. The problem, he thought, with mid-orgasm epiphanies is how easy they are to forget once your brain is functioning on all cylinders again. He'd realized--something--and it had seemed terribly important at the time.

He shrugged and took off the wings, laying them on the kitchen table. It would come to him.

Jamie was still lying on the floor when he came back to the living room, but had pulled over a striped wool afghan from the sofa and wrapped himself up in it. There was plenty of room for Ben, though, and once he was swaddled inside Jamie kissed him and rested his forehead against Ben's. "You okay?" Ben said, laying a hand on Jamie's hip.

Jamie nodded--it made their noses rub together and Ben smiled. "Feeling fine. You?"

"Yes." He kissed Jamie lightly. "Satisfied. And a little hungry."

Jamie laughed. "There's eggs in the fridge, and I think I have soup."

"You live the high life, sweet James." He sat up and stretched out his arms, wincing when his spine cracked. "Clearly I'm outgrowing my sleeping-on-the-floor phase."

Jamie sat up too and started massaging Ben's shoulders. He kissed between his shoulder blades. "Or we could just get more pizza. You do like pizza."

"To the point of ecstasy." He dropped his head forward and groaned happily when Jamie rubbed the base of his neck with his thumbs.

"You're awfully tense for someone who's just come."

"It was a long day, and then I had this party..."

Jamie chuckled and kissed between his shoulders again. "Come on. Let's go to bed. My boy needs sleep."

Ben raised an eyebrow, looking at Jamie over his shoulder. "Your boy?"

"I have to call you something."

"Your boy?" he repeated.

"My angel?" He smiled winsomely.

"Okay. Your 'boy' will do just fine." He leaned back against Jamie and closed his eyes. "Your boy doesn't want to move yet."

"All right." He laid his cheek on Ben's head.

"Are you really going to paint that sketch?" Ben asked after a moment.

"I think so. I think Dune's right about the colors, your dark eyes and hair and then all the different shades of white."

"I'm not that pale," Ben muttered and looked at his arm. Perhaps he was getting a bit pasty...

"You're Irish. It shows." He was quiet a moment, then said in a musing tone, "White in paintings isn't just flat white. It's lots of colors. Green and blue and pink and yellow. In nature, white is the absence of color, but when you're making art you need layers and depth."