Christmas in Sawyer Falls (8 page)

I didn’t want to stay any longer at that party, but she had a point.

“I can take you home, if you don’t mind,” Tony offered.

I usually didn’t accept rides from someone I just met, but Molly was nodding like it was a good idea and I knew that she knew him well.  I thanked him and he helped me with my coat and out to my car like I was a pregnant lady in labor.

“I’m really ok, now,” I assured him. “I probably just needed some air.”

On the way home I was quiet. Tony broke the silence with a question. “Did you and Grant used to see each other? Like date each other, I mean?” He kept his eyes focused on the road. I’m glad he couldn’t see my reaction.

“No. Well, just a couple
dates,
nothing serious. Why?”

“I’m a pretty observant guy and I pick up on a lot of things. Like, how upset you were once you heard about their engagement.
And how much Sabrina dislikes you.
And how upset Grant seemed when you told him you were moving away. It was obvious there was some kind of history there.”

I brushed a wavy lock of brown hair off my face and looked out the window. “Well, whatever history there was, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

We arrived at my house and I thanked Tony several times for seeing me home. He asked for my number and if I’d be interested in getting some coffee with him sometime. I answered that I would.

***

Once safely locked inside of my home, all of the tension, pain and embarrassment of the evening came pouring out. I just let the tears flow, not caring how I sounded as I sobbed into a couch pillow. When I had released every last tear that had been bottled up that night I looked up to see my cat, Louisa May Alcott, staring at me with bored detachment.

“What are you looking at Lou? Haven’t you ever seen a grown woman have an emotional meltdown before?”
Great.
Now I was talking to my cat like she was a person. I really was a crazy, old maid librarian.

I was glad that my parents weren’t flying in until the next day, Christmas Eve, because I wouldn’t want them to see me like this. I was an emotional wreck, sitting in the dark, crying my heart out.  Did I really tell people that I was moving to San Diego? I hadn’t really thought it through before blurting it out.

I took off my new outfit that was actually pretty uncomfortable and changed into some red sweatpants and giant penguin slippers that made my feet feel like they were engulfed in pillows. I was comfortably festive. I decided that I was still too wound up to sleep, so I thought I’d find a good Christmas movie on TV.

I grabbed a carton of peppermint ice cream out of the freezer and plopped on the couch, putting my big penguin covered feet on the coffee table. I reached for the remote but noticed my Bible next to it where I had left it after church. If there was any time that I needed some guidance in my life, this was it, and what better place to turn for advice.

Sometimes, I like to turn to tried and true Bible passages that speak to my fears and worries.
Ones that are comforting and give me hope.
  Other times, I like to just flip through the pages and randomly open it to surprise me. I feel that it’s a way to reveal God’s guidance or message to me.

This time, I opted for the random flip method and landed myself in Proverbs. Ah, Proverbs, the land of wisdom and memories of Sunday
School
memory verses.
Surely I’d find some guidance there.  I
hovered
my finger over the page and then without looking, landed it on a random verse.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And
lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

I read the words and my tears began to flow again. Not in waves of tears accompanied by heavy sobs this time, but silent streams down my cheeks. These words spoke to me and reminded me that I needed to rely on God not just during the trials in my life, but every single day. His guidance is what I need to keep me on the straight path, wherever that may lead to.

After reading the verse over a few times, letting it absorb into my brain, I closed the Bible and bowed my head. I thanked God for the abundance of blessings in my life, some that I take for granted. I was healthy, had a job that I loved, a supportive family and many friends to share fun times with.

I prayed for Grant and Sabrina. I asked God to forgive any jealousy in my heart and tried to replace the feelings of sadness and loss with feelings of happiness for them. Ok, I’ll admit it, that one was a little harder for me, but I really did try. I prayed that they would have a happy life together and that she would not hurt him. Thinking of that worried me; I couldn’t bear the thought of him having his heart broken.

Though my head was bent down over my folded hands, I could still see the glow of the Christmas tree lights from across the room. A memory popped in my mind of Christmas Eve nights when I was a little girl. I would lay myself down under the big tree and stare with the wonder of a child at all of those twinkling colored lights above me. I would make a secret Christmas wish for what I hoped would be under the tree. I wasn’t sure if I was wishing to God or Santa Claus; at that age, I thought of them both as being one and the same.

The memory made me smile and I began another prayer. This time, I prayed for a Christmas wish, just as I had done when I was little. Only now that I was older, I knew it was God that answers wishes and prayers, not Santa.

Dear God, I wish for your guidance as I choose my next path on the journey of my life.  Should I move to San Diego for a fresh start or stay here in Sawyer
Falls, the town that I grew up in? Or maybe you’ll lead me down a different path, somewhere I haven’t even thought of yet. Please, Lord, give me a sign. Help my heart and mind decide what is best. Amen

I lifted my head and looked at the tree. A sense of peace and calm came over me, giving me a sense of strength. I knew that everything was going to be alright. Then I looked down at my coffee table and realized that everything would be alright after I cleaned up the melted peppermint ice cream that I’d forgotten to eat.

I carefully picked up the carton and brought it to the kitchen, where I put it in the sink. Then I heard my doorbell ring. I’m not sure who was more startled, me or Lou. We both jumped about a foot in the air. I walked back into the living room, trying to peek out the front window to see who it was before I opened the door this late. I wondered if was Tony or maybe Molly, stopping by to check on me.

I felt my breath catch in my chest when I saw who it was. There, standing on my front step in the snow was Grant. He was the last person I would have expected to be there. Was this my sign?

Before even thinking about it, I opened the door. It was only then that I realized how I must have looked.
Red sweatpants, penguin slippers, messy ponytail, mascara-stained eyes and sticky peppermint hands.
Ironic, considering how much time and money had gone into my hair and outfit for the party where I’d planned to impress him.

“Hi,” I said, a bit nervously.

“I’m sorry for stopping by so
late,
maybe I should have called first. But I didn’t want to risk you saying no. I have to talk to you now, it’s really important.”

“Is everything ok?” I must have looked confused as I opened the door wider and motioned for him to come in.

“Sorry about the mess, I still had a few presents to wrap before my parents get here tomorrow.” I looked around the room, feeling self-conscious at the strewn paper, bags and ribbons piling on a loveseat. I motioned for him to have a seat on the couch.

“Don’t worry about it, I understand. And if you don’t mind, I’d rather stand for now. “

“Ok, sure. Where’s Sabrina?”

“I dropped her off. She wasn’t happy with me; I broke off the engagement.”

“What? But you just got engaged! And you looked so happy tonight, what happened?”

“You happened. I’m in love with you Courtney and I didn’t realize how much until tonight. Seeing you with that guy, Tony… it was hard for me to watch you with someone else. And then hearing that you’re leaving Sawyer Falls, well, that was too much for me.”

I was speechless. I sat down on the couch, lest I have a
repeat  fainting
episode.

“What could I do? I knew you were only interested in being friends and nothing more. But then Molly talked to me. I admitted to her how I was feeling about you and wondering if it was fair to Sabrina to go through marrying her when I still felt this way about you. Asking Sabrina to marry me was a mistake, an impulsive decision that I should have known I’d regret. Molly got really excited and told me that you felt the same way about me. Don’t be mad at her for telling me, I wish she would have done it a long time ago. You have no idea how that made me feel, it was like getting the best Christmas gift ever.”

“So, you broke off your engagement?”

“I had to. Once I admitted to myself just how much in love with you I was, I realized that I had to end it. I just couldn’t believe you felt the same way about me; after that letter you sent me last year, I thought you made it pretty clear where you stood and that we would only ever be friends.”

“What? What letter? I don’t know what you’re talking about?” My head was swimming.

“After that last date that we had, remember it? I thought we were really hitting it off and we even had that great kiss. But then you sent me a letter saying you thought it best to write to me instead of telling me that we were taking things in a direction you didn’t want to go. You thought we should take a break from seeing each other and that I would only ever be a friend to you, nothing more.”

Shocked was an understatement. I can imagine how I must have looked with my mouth gaping open. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Grant, I have no idea who wrote that letter to you, but it definitely was not me! I can’t believe this, so that’s why you shrugged me off after that second date. I thought it was something that I did. I thought you were the one who only wanted to be friends.”

“You didn’t write that? It doesn’t make sense, I…oh, no.”

“What?”

“Sabrina.”

“I don’t understand
,
what does she have to do with this?”

“She’s the one who gave me the letter. She said it been dropped off at her apartment by mistake. She had seen us at the restaurant that night and asked me who you were. I told her who you were and that I thought I was falling in love with you. She must have written the letter herself to try to keep us apart. And it worked, too. I started dating Sabrina shortly after that because, well, basically I needed someone to help me get you out of my mind.”

“That explain why she’s never liked me. I can’t believe this, all this
time,
I thought you didn’t have any feelings for me other than as a friend.”

His blue eyes stared into mine as he sat down next to me on the couch and took hold of my hands. “Have no feelings for you? Courtney, I’ve been in love with you since the day I saw you walk into Mr. Carson’s chemistry class.”

I thought my heart was about to burst. When I asked for a sign, this wasn’t what I expected. This was something that I’d only dreamt about. My stomach was full of butterflies.

“So, how about we just pretend that this past year didn’t happen and start over from that last date?” I asked him.

“I think that’s the best idea, ever!  And I think the way we ended the last one went something like this…” He leaned his face in closer and kissed me.

That night marked the beginning of a new path in my life. One that I felt God was leading me down and that would bring me much joy. I learned some important lessons that night. I learned that I need to put my trust in God and to rely on Him to direct my journey in life. And I learned that I still believe in the magic of a Christmas wish.

THE END

**Dear Reader, thank you for
purchasing this Christmas collection
, I hope that you enjoyed it. This author’s hope
and wish
is that this
holiday
season finds you happy, healthy and that the year
ahead may
bring many blessings into your life.

H.M. Bailey

[email protected]