Christmas in Sugarcreek (12 page)

Making her uncomfortable was the last thing he wanted.

“I should probably go,” he said. “Mrs. Yoder, could I speak to Rebecca for a few moments?”

“Of course.” With a tender look in her daughter’s direction, she slipped her arm around Mandy’s shoulders. “Becca, you go into the front room with your young man. Amanda and I will stay here and have some tea.”

Amanda groaned.

With a wink Caleb’s way, Mrs. Yoder said firmly, “And perhaps we’ll try out some of these cookies in the basket.”

Rebecca glanced at Caleb again, then led the way to the front room.

He followed, and kept following her until she stopped in the far corner of the room. Next to a fireplace that looked like it hadn’t been used in weeks.

When she stopped and then finally faced him again, there was such a defeated look in her expression that it took his breath away. Just like she’d lost a race that she should have won.

He stayed quiet. Waiting. Clenched his fists so he wouldn’t be tempted to reach out for her. Rebecca was obviously struggling to keep ahold of her pride.

Finally she spoke. “I’m sorry. I am so very sorry,” she whispered.

“Sorry for what?”

“For lying to you.”

He couldn’t stop himself any longer. Giving in to temptation, he reached for her hands and tugged her closer. Her hands were stiff and cold in his own, but at least she wasn’t pulling away. Brushing his thumbs against her knuckles, he warmed her soft skin. “You didn’t lie to me.”

“Caleb, I didn’t tell you that while we were doing all these things for the poor, for the needy . . . I was one of them.”

“If I look upset, it’s because I hate the idea of you going without.”
Especially without food,
he silently added.

“I never wanted you to see this.”

“I don’t care where you live, Rebecca.”

“I do.”

“Is this why you never let me walk you home or drive here to pick you up?”

She nodded.

“Well, now I know.” Rubbing his thumb over her knuckles again, he murmured, “So, Becca, now will you let me pick you up?”

“I . . . I can’t see you no more.”

He was stunned. “What? Why?”

“Caleb. You know why.”

He knew she was embarrassed. But he also realized he wasn’t going to let her focus on her embarrassment. There was too much between them to give up because of pride or a silly misunderstanding. “Is it because I lied to your
mamm
about how we got the baskets?” He released her hands, ready to make things right. “If that’s it, I’ll go tell her the truth.”

“Nee!”
Tears filled her eyes. “Caleb, I wanted you to think we were equals. But that was wrong of me, because I knew we were too different. Now things can’t be fixed.”

“I don’t care how much money your family has or where you live. All I care about is you. I only want to be with you.”

Rebecca turned away. Lowering her voice, she said, “My
daed
got laid off from work last year. He tried to find a job, but he has a bad arm, so no one would hire him. He finally found work, but it’s in Toledo. So the extra money he’s making has to go for his living expenses.”

“I understand.” Looking at the empty fireplace, he started realizing all the things she was doing without, the many things he’d been taking for granted. “Tomorrow, I’m going to bring you some wood so you can have a fire.”

“Caleb, please do not. I don’t want anything from you.”

“All I would do is chop some from our woods and bring it over. It won’t cost me anything.”

“Please don’t. Just go.”

“But Rebecca, I want to be with you.” He paused, then rushed forward, stating the obvious. “I like you a lot, you know.”

Her expression remained skeptical. “I know you’re just being kind.”

“I’m not.” All at once, he wanted to tell her that he loved her. That he was willing to do whatever he needed to do to make sure she was warm and comfortable.

Because, well, he fully intended to marry her one day.

But how do you tell a girl that? Especially at a moment like this?

“Please go.”

He stepped backward, giving her room. “When can I see you again?”

“I don’t know. We’ve delivered the baskets. There’s no reason to see each other now.”

“Sure there is.”

She walked to the door and opened it. Wide. “Please, Caleb,” she said softly.

He did as she asked. Because she was hurting. Because he didn’t want to make her more upset.

But leaving her like this wasn’t right.

“I’m going to see you soon,” he said as he stepped through the threshold. “And you and your family are coming to our house for Christmas dinner.”

“All three of us?”

“Of course. And you better make it sound like the best invitation you’ve ever received, Becca Yoder, or I’ll do the asking. I want to be with you on Christmas Day.”

“Why?”

Because he knew they were meant to be together. Because he was going to tell her his true feelings for her—as soon as the time was right.

But all that felt too pushy. “Because I have a gift for you,” he said instead.

But yet again, that was the wrong thing.

Panic lit her eyes. “Oh, Caleb—”

“Shh. I didn’t spend any money.”

“But I don’t have a gift for you.”

“Then let your gift for me be your company.” That would be the best gift, anyway.

Reaching for her hands again, he said, “Rebecca, please just say you will. If for no other reason, for Amanda and for your
mamm
. You know they’ll enjoy being with my family.”

“All right.” She squeezed his hands, though she still looked doubtful.

“You made me happy, Rebecca.
Danke.
”

And with that, he turned around. Feeling that he’d aged ten years in the last hour. And, perhaps, just gotten the most wonderful gift in the world—honesty between them. And the promise of a future.

Chapter Fifteen

Three Days Until Christmas

L
illy felt bad about lying to Robert, but if she had told him she was going to Berlin, he would have asked her a bunch of questions. And then she would have felt guilty. So she’d told him she was going to her mother’s house, helping with Carrie for a bit so her mother could do some shopping.

As soon as she got to Berlin, she drove directly to a jewelry store she’d seen an ad for in the Sunday paper. After getting a close parking place, she entered the quiet store and smiled at the woman standing behind a counter decorated with bright gold garlands.

“How may I help you?”

“I’m looking for a watch. For my husband.”

The lady blinked, then looked her up and down a little more closely. “You seem awfully young to be married.”

Lilly tried not to shy away under the clerk’s scrutiny. “Would you be able to help me?”

“Of course.” The lady’s perfect hairdo hardly moved as she came out from behind the counter and directed Lilly to another glass case. “What kind of watch? Digital? Quartz? Silver? Stainless steel?”

The choices seemed endless. “I’m not sure.”

“That’s fair. How about we start looking at them?”

One by one, the sales associate took out the watches. Accordingly, Lilly lifted them up, examined the faces. Tried to imagine whether Robert would want something traditional or high tech.

The digital watch with the black rubber band didn’t seem right. “I think my husband needs something more traditional.”

Instantly, the digital watches went away. “What about these?” the sales clerk asked. “They’re stainless, easy to read, and have a lifetime warranty.”

“Lifetime?”

“You heard that right,” the lady said with pride. “If anything happens to the watch or the band, just bring it back here and we’ll fix it or replace it for free.”

Lilly took hold of the stainless-steel watch. The metal was cool in her hands while its weight felt substantial. As she gazed at it, she tried to imagine it on Robert’s wrist. “It’s pretty,” she said. “I like the silver links. They seem sturdy.”

“Oh, they are,” the lady said, leaning her elbows on the top of the glass case. “That brand is my favorite, too. The watches look simple, but they’re good quality. You know, that watch will be something that a man would be proud to pass on to his children.”

To be passed on to their children. That had a nice ring to it, she thought. “And he could bring this in to get fixed even next year?”

“Dear, your son could bring it in to get fixed. Lifetime means lifetime of the watch.”

Lilly couldn’t help but smile at the thought of giving something so special to Robert that he could pass it on to their children. “My husband, he’s been wearing his grandfather’s pocket watch. It just broke, and he’s at loose ends.”

“I promise, he’ll enjoy this. It’s a fantastic present. Something you’ll be proud to give him.”

Lilly could only imagine how great it would be to see a complete look of contentment and pleasure on Robert’s face when he opened her gift. “How much is it?”

The woman slipped on her reading glasses. “Three hundred dollars.”

Lilly was so taken aback, she almost dropped the watch on the glass countertop. “Three hundred?”

Slowly, the woman reclaimed the watch. “Why yes, dear. You saw the brand. This is a very nice timepiece. Quality.”

“I’m afraid I can’t afford it.”

“What can you afford?”

“Under a hundred dollars.” It took everything she had to keep her expression even. An hour before, the amount sounded respectable. Now, though, it sounded completely inappropriate.

“I can still help you. Don’t worry.” She reached into the cabinet, quickly put away the expensive watch, and pulled out another tray. “These are all nice. Maybe one of them will fit your needs?”

Lilly picked up several and examined them. They were fine.

But compared to the one she’d been holding with the lifetime warranty, they seemed like poor copies of better things.

“Do any of them catch your interest?”

“Not as much. I’m afraid I’m going to have to think about things.”

“Well, don’t think for too long! It is the twenty-third, you know.”

“Are you open tomorrow?” Maybe she could run over in the early afternoon? If she got up and baked at dawn. . .

“Only until noon.”

Her heart sank. “Not later?”

“I’m sorry, dear. But I’m anxious to be with my family. Christmas comes but once a year, you know.”

“Yes. Of course.” Making herself step away, she smiled weakly. “Thanks for showing me the watches.”

“You’re welcome.” Sympathy showed on her face when she continued. “Maybe you could open an account? Then you could charge the gift?”

“No. I couldn’t do that.” Even if she had a credit history, she didn’t want to do something like that without Robert’s permission.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Yes. Merry Christmas,” she said as she left. After getting into her car, she hesitated. The lady’s words about it being the twenty-third really hit home. It was time to do something or she would have nothing. And the thought of not having anything to give Robert on Christmas morning was a terrible one.

Looking at her laptop, Lilly considered trying to find another jewelry store nearby. Maybe someplace else would have a better deal?

Not that it really mattered. She knew what she wanted. She just couldn’t afford it.

When her stomach growled, she decided to run into a tiny diner and grab a bowl of soup.

After getting a piping hot bowl of vegetable soup, she sat at the counter and halfheartedly glanced at a flyer that someone had left behind.

The flyer was filled with ads for after-Christmas sales, which made her smile. It seemed no matter what the season, everyone was anxious to rush it.

Then, there on the bottom of the second page, was the answer to her prayers. “We buy computers.”

Slowly, she put her spoon down. Was she really willing to do that? Was she willing to sell her laptop in order to buy Robert something of value?

It seemed like a horrible idea. She absolutely loved her laptop. She wrote a journal, kept up with friends, read the news, even listened to music on it. For the last year, it had been her link to the outside world, especially those first few months in Sugarcreek, when she’d felt so lonely and confused.

But Robert seemed to be wary of it. Actually, he teased her about “playing” on it at least once a day.

Maybe he felt she was too obsessed with it? After all, before he left the Amish he’d never had electricity, and certainly never needed a computer.

Though he’d gained some new freedoms, and even seemed to enjoy many of the conveniences he now had in his life, he’d also sacrificed his relationship with his family. And though he never complained too much about it, she knew the strained relationship weighed on him.

What she needed to do was not just tell him that she loved him, but show him, too. If she sold the computer, that sacrifice would mean something to him, wouldn’t it? It would show him how much she loved him. . .

“Need anything else, hon?”

Before she lost her nerve, Lilly pushed the flyer toward the waitress. “Do you know if this place is nearby?”

After scanning the ad, she nodded. “It’s just around the corner.”

“Do you know anything about it?” Half of her hoped the woman was going to tell her it was dangerous. Not reputable.

“My cousin-in-law owns it,” she said proudly. “They’re good people there. Whatcha trying to sell?”

“My laptop.”

“If it’s in good condition, I’ll bet they’ll snap it up. Lots of people on hard times who need a computer for a good price, you know.”

Making her decision, Lilly got to her feet. “I’ll go over there now. How much do I owe you for the soup?”

The lady looked her over, then shook her head and smiled. “Not a thing.”

“But—”

“Consider it my treat. A Christmas treat. You seem like a real sweet girl, and it’s just a bowl of soup.”

“Thanks. And Merry Christmas!” After smiling at the waitress again, Lilly grabbed the flyer and went back to her car. Ready to finally do something Robert would be proud of. Ready to give him something she knew without a doubt he would value.