Christmas in Sugarcreek (7 page)

“We’d best get to work,” Judith muttered.

“Indeed. But maybe we can talk more another time?”

“
Jah.
Sure . . .”

Taking advantage of the momentary burst of silence, a heavyset woman in a red sweatshirt from the other side of the store stepped up importantly. “I need help getting a trunk down,” she said. “Can you help me?”

“Of course. I’ll be glad to,” Ben replied. He was sad to leave the discussion but thankful to have something else to do besides wish things were different between Judith and himself.

Or, if he was honest, wish that he was different. He did wish he hadn’t lived the last ten years of his life pushing everything and everyone away. And wished Judith didn’t look at him and remember his temper. Or the way he’d always gotten into trouble.

He shook his head as if to clear it. Those longings caught him off guard. He’d been sure he’d given up all desire for the things he couldn’t have years ago.

Chapter Ten

Six Days Until Christmas

“I
was so happy to see you this morning, Caleb,” Mrs. Miller said as she bustled around the kitchen and sliced him a large square of warm applesauce cake. “Seeing you sitting here in my kitchen always brightens my day.”

Eating Mrs. Miller’s baked goods always brightened his day, Caleb reflected. A longtime innkeeper, she was truly one of the best bakers in Sugarcreek.

As she brought him the warm treat, now liberally topped with a dollop of fresh whipped cream, he looked up at her fondly. “You didn’t know I was comin’? You just happened to be baking my favorite cake this morning?”

She squeezed his shoulder with a laugh. “Caleb Graber, don’t you think I know you well by now? You’ve never had a favorite treat! You love them all.”

Sure enough, as he took the first bite, Caleb knew she spoke the truth. He dearly loved everything that came from Mrs. Miller’s kitchen. Into everything she incorporated a liberal dose of love and care. If he was honest, he’d say he liked being in the kitchen, too. She collected snowmen—figurines and images—and in December, it seemed everything in the room was or displayed a smiling white snowman. “This is wonderful, Mrs. Miller.”

“You are a dear to say such sweet things. I’ll send some home with you for your parents.”

“
Danke,
but I’m afraid I can’t take any today.”

“Ah, yes. You’re meeting Rebecca here, aren’t you?”

“Jah.”
He took another bite quickly so he wouldn’t be tempted to ask more about Rebecca. It wouldn’t be right to ask for private information about the girl he liked so much. He didn’t know much about relationships, but even he knew it was only right to wait for her to tell him her secrets.

After crossing the room, Mrs. Miller pulled out one of the sturdy black Windsor chairs next to him. Holding a piping hot mug of coffee in between her wide palms, she spoke. “Knowing Rebecca has been a joy for me. Not only is she a tremendous help with this old place, but she’s a wonderful-
gut
girl, Caleb. You are lucky to have her.”

Her frank words caused him to flinch. “I don’t ‘have’ her. I just like her.”
A lot,
he added silently. Caleb eyed the remaining portion of his cake. Only two, maybe three bites remained. With care, he speared a bite, hoping to make it last longer. After taking another sip of her coffee, Mrs. Miller got to her feet again. With a smile, she picked up his plate and carried it back to the counter. There, she cut off another sizable portion of cake, then brought it back to him, this time the bowl of cold whipped cream in her other hand. “Here you go, Caleb. I wasn’t sure how much whipped cream to put on your piece this time.”

“Any amount would do.”

“Yes, but you might as well have what you want, don’t you agree? It’s important for a man to know what he wants.”

He stilled, his finger tightening on the spoon in the whipped cream. “What I want isn’t the only thing that matters,” he said slowly, realizing they were now talking about so much more than just his appetite for desserts. “Sometimes it’s necessary to know what is right.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that.” She sat back down. “You see, when Rebecca started working here, not only was it a real blessing to me—the job was a blessing for her as well.”

For her? There was obviously a story there. Caleb ached to ask what it was but yet again fought off the urge to pry. Rebecca would tell him more when the time was right.

He had to believe that.

Luckily the back door opened and in came Rebecca, immediately brightening his world. Today she wore a teal dress and thick-soled black boots. The dress’s fabric brightened her skin and made her eyes seem even bluer than usual.

Without thinking, he got to his feet and walked to her. “
Gut matin,
Becca.”

As he’d hoped, her eyes glowed when they lit on him. “Hi, Caleb.” After smiling at him again, she turned to Mrs. Miller. “
Gut matin,
Mrs. Miller.”

Caleb noticed the woman didn’t get to her feet. Instead, she simply smiled fondly at Rebecca.

“Help yourself to some cake, dear. And I put out some orange slices for you, too.”

Rebecca approached the refrigerator as if the lady had hidden a secret treasure there. “Oh, look at those oranges. They look beautiful.”

“Eat them all, Rebecca. And Caleb will serve you cake.” She looked at Caleb meaningfully. “Right?”

“Sure. I’ll be happy to.” Now he was the one bustling around the kitchen, waiting on his girl. Rebecca sat down and ate one succulent slice of orange after the other, just like she’d never tasted anything so good.

Moments later, she took a bite of the cake, but it was obvious to even him that gingerbread cake wasn’t nearly as delicious to her as the succulent fruit.

When they were almost done, Mrs. Miller left the room, then returned with a large box filled with stacks of neatly wrapped braided bread. “Here you two go. I hope all your recipients will enjoy the bread.”

Rebecca got to her feet and carefully picked up one of the packages. “These look mighty fine. I’m sure they will be much appreciated.”

“As long as they are enjoyed, I will feel blessed. Truly, that is all that matters to me.”

“Where should we go next, Rebecca?” Caleb asked.

“To your house, I suppose. Anson is going to be accompanying us. Or have you forgotten?”

“I told him not to.” At her look of confusion, he added, “There’s no need for him to come. I promise you that.”

“I don’t mind if he joins us, Caleb,” she said softly.

“I do.”

“And why is that?”

“No particular reason,” he hedged.

“Hmm.” Her eyes twinkled. Making it so obvious that she was biting her tongue in order not to tease him anymore.

Caleb kept his mouth shut, too. He didn’t want to shock her with what was really on his mind. Because what he wanted to say was that he didn’t want to share her. When he was around Rebecca, he didn’t want there to be another person within a hundred feet of them.

He wanted to be the only person to hold her hand or to steady her elbow when they walked down stairs. He wanted to be the only person to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

Selfishly, he wanted all her words and smiles to be only for him. For the blush on her cheeks to be because of something he said.

But of course, none of that could be admitted. They were young. And he still got the sense that she was hiding something from him.

Therefore, he kept his answer easy. “Whatever you want, I will do,” he said.

And for that, he got his reward.

Rebecca smiled at him like he’d just raised the sun from the horizon and brightened her day.

B
y 5:30 that evening, Judith knew she was having a terribly hard time keeping her feelings in line. Never before had she been so aware of another person as she was with Ben Knox. No matter what he did or where he was, she sensed his presense. With Ben, it was as if she had some sixth sense where he was concerned.

Knowing that he looked just as aware of her should have given her some comfort. It didn’t. All it did was make her remember their differences. He had skipped school when she’d tried her best. Rumor had it that he’d done all kinds of sinful things during his
rumspringa,
whereas she’d told her parents she didn’t need any time to decide her future.

Now, though, when he looked at her through hooded eyes, she wished she’d had more experiences with boys and dating. Then she would be able to understand more of what his looks and words meant.

Lowering her eyelids, she snuck a peek at him through the corner of one eye.

When he noticed her gaze, he stilled. “Everything all right?”

As a matter of fact, it was not. Her stomach was in knots and it felt like monster butterflies had joined the knots, too. “Everything’s fine. Do you, ah, need some help?”

“Do I need help sweeping? I don’t think so.”

She wasn’t sure if he was teasing her or not. “I didn’t mean just sweeping. Do you need anything . . . ?”

“I don’t need a thing, Judith.” Looking at the floor, he began to sweep again.

Judith doubted he’d ever felt weak or unsure in his life.

As a thick lock of dark hair brushed his brow, she watched it sway against his skin—and was looking at him in a way that she hadn’t been able to stop doing for hours. It seemed no matter how busy she was, or how many customers she was serving, her attention always returned to him.

What was she going to do when he left after Christmas?

Well, at least she could ask him about that. “Ben?”

“Hmm?”

“Ben, after Christmas, what are you going to do?”

“Leave Sugarcreek. Well, I will as soon as someone buys the house.”

She closed her eyes, remembering the sign she’d seen in front of his home. “Then what will you do? Where will you go?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

Honestly, could he ever just give her information without her begging and prodding for it? “Will you visit family?”

A muscle in his jaw jumped. “No.”

“Then what—”

The door chime rang as a crowd of tourists burst inside. “Miss? Miss, can you help us?” one lady in a sweatshirt decorated with a large Santa Claus called out.

“Yes, of course,” Judith replied. “What can I help you with?”

“We need some baked goods. And Trail bologna.” One lady held out a list. “We need a lot of things. I’m giving an open house tomorrow and I’m hopelessly behind. I know you’re going to close soon, but if you could stay open just a little longer, you’ll save my life.”

“I’ll help you get everything.”

“And I’ll help, too,” Ben said as he walked to her side.

One of the younger women gazed at Ben like she’d caught the grand prize at a county fair. “If you could help me, I would be most grateful.”

“Lead the way,” he said with a smile.

Judith felt jealousy rise inside her. Embarrassed, she tamped it down. But still couldn’t help but keep an eye on him.

Probably because most of her brain seemed to be taking a vacation!

Over and again, she would hear his voice through the perimeter of her thoughts. Then, just like a wisp of smoke from a fire, little by little his words would drift toward her. Muddling and mingling with her thoughts. Those words would get in the way of the conversations she had with customers and with the train of her thoughts. As she’d hear his voice or his laugh, she’d still. And only think of him.

It was fairly disturbing.

What was she going to do when Ben was at her house, sleeping down the hall? Surely, she’d go crazy!

Since that wasn’t acceptable, she vowed to work extra hard to keep her feelings to herself. If her family ever caught sight of her gazing at him like she was doing at the store, they would never let her hear the end of it. And it would be no less than she deserved.

She’d been too reserved all her life.

To her shame, she’d even looked down upon others who wore their emotions for anyone to see.

She’d been disdainful of the way Caleb wore every emotion on his sleeve. Of Anson’s penchant for focusing on his wishes instead of his chores. To her shame, she’d even lost patience with Joshua a time or two. She’d thought his struggle over his future had been a bit silly, especially when it had been painfully obvious that Josh and Gretta were perfect for each other.

By 6:30, after Ben finally shooed the last of their customers out, her nerves felt like they’d been stretched so thin they were about to break and snap. Now she was going to have to suffer through two hours of being alone with him in the store? After, she was going to have to sit by his side in an enclosed buggy. There, in the closed confines, their cold breath would mingle and their bodies would brush against each other. Attempting to stay calm, cool, and collected seemed an insurmountable task.

As the ridiculous bird clock chirped above them, Judith felt her stomach knot.

And then Ben chuckled.

“What?”

“Sorry, did I startle you? Were you gathering wool?”

Well, she’d been gathering all her thoughts about
him
. Not that that was anything new. . .

Ben continued. “I was laughing at the man who just left. Can you believe that guy bought ten pounds of pecans and five baskets?”

Trying to recall what the man had looked like, though of course she couldn’t, Judith nodded weakly.

He grinned. “I never imagined nuts would make a
gut
gift, but he seemed right proud of himself. When he started talking about his favorite ways to eat them, I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep from smiling.”

“I’ve given up trying to second-guess what people are interested in,” she agreed. “One thing is for sure, though, they’re likin’ everything we’ve got. I don’t remember a better December for sales.” Yes, this was the way to do it! She simply needed to keep the conversation only about business.