Christmas With the Billionaire Rancher (12 page)

“I've never seen a SEAL cower in the presence of an office building before.”

Nate gave Travis the side-eye. It was true, Chloe's office had never looked more imposing, and his goddamned heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest like one of those things in
Alien
. He hadn't heard a word from Chloe since he'd left the message on her voice mail five days ago. In fact, she'd washed her hands of the Christensens altogether, telling Travis that she didn't feel right accepting his donation after what had happened between her and Nate.

Fuck that. She might not have wanted to talk to him, but he refused to let her foundation close its doors. Like Travis said, it was time for Nate to think about the legacy he wanted to leave.

“You sure you don't want me to come in with you?” Travis teased.

“There's no use in both of us being thrown out. I'll be fine.”

“Good luck, brother,” Travis said. “Lunch later?”

“I have a pre–holiday break board meeting,” Nate groused.

“Try not to sound so excited.” Travis laughed. He put the Chevy in gear and waited for Nate to close the door.

“Yeah. That's easy for you to say. You don't have to sit through it.”

“Damn straight. Good luck,” Travis said as Nate shut the passenger door.

“Thanks.” He was going to need it.

Nate drew in a deep breath and held it in his lungs. When they started to burn, he let the air out in a rush that made his brain buzz and his skin tingle. He pulled open the glass door and stepped up to the reception desk, piled high with banker's boxes and large manila envelopes. All he could see of the receptionist was the top of her blond head. “I'm here to see Chloe.”

“Nate!”

A kid's voice called out from down the hallway and Nate turned to see Derrick rushing toward him. “Hey little man.” Nate held out his fist and Derrick bumped it with his. “What's up?”

“Staying with Chloe,” he said. “For a while, anyway.”

Could that be why he hadn't heard from her? Nate could only hope that she'd ignored him not because she never wanted to see him again, but because she had her hands full. “Is Chloe here?”

“Yeah,” Derrick said. “In her office.”

Nate turned to the receptionist and she nodded. “Want me to buzz her?”

“No, that's all right.” The last thing he needed was to give her the opportunity to throw him out before he could talk to her. “She's expecting me.”

The receptionist gave him a suspicious glance but nodded slowly. “Okay, go ahead and go back.”

“Do you think Chloe would let you get ice cream from the shop next door?” Nate asked Derrick.

“Sure. As long as I don't cross the street it's fine.” He laughed. “Chloe acts like I can't take care of myself. I walked halfway across the city one time before anyone knew I was gone.”

It was probably a good idea that Chloe keep a tight rein on the kid. Good lord. “Just for ice cream.” Nate handed him a ten-dollar bill. “And then back here.” The last thing he needed was for Chloe to find one more reason to hate him.

“Yes, sir,” Derrick said with a crisp salute before he tore out of the office.

Nate headed down the hallway toward Chloe's office.
Dead man walking
. He knocked and her voice called from the other side of the door, “Come on in!”

He brought his palm up and laid it on the cool wood of the door and let his head hang between his shoulders. Anxiety crept up his spine, drawing his shoulders toward his ears. If she turned him away, it would ruin him.
She won't
. At least, he hoped.

Deep breaths
. Nate pushed open the door and willed his thoughts and emotions to settle the fuck down. One look at Chloe and Nate was lost. Her hair was gathered up in a high, messy knot atop her head and she wore a pair of thick-framed glasses that gave her a decidedly naughty librarian look. Stress pulled at her expression and exhaustion weighed on her soft features, but damn. Nate didn't think she'd ever looked so beautiful.

“Hey.”

Her brow furrowed and lips parted, soft and inviting. “Hey.”

Nate had never felt so fucking awkward in his entire life. He would've rather stared down the barrel of a gun than meet the gaze of the woman sitting in front of him. Words lodged in his throat. Stuck to his tongue and adhered themselves to the roof of his mouth. Maybe his actions would speak louder than words. He took the cashier's check he held in his hand and slid it across the desk toward her.

Chloe studied the check and her jaw took on a set that made Nate think his tactics were about to crash and burn. “What is this?” She waved the check at him. “You insinuate that I seduced you to get my hands on your money and then you drop a three-million-dollar check in front of me?”

Yup. Crash. And. Burn.
Fuck
.

The words Nate held back burst forth in a senseless rush. “Miranda was my fiancée.” Chloe's expression softened somewhat and he continued on. “When she found out about my dad's philosophy—the whole ‘be your own man' thing—our relationship got shaky. I stopped by the house one afternoon and I caught them together in his office. I enlisted the next day to get away from the both of them. That and the hurt and embarrassment. For the next six years, I blamed him for my life being shitty, for every bad thing that happened to me. I didn't want anything to do with him, Miranda, or that money that was so fucking much more important to her than I'd been. She chose my own father over me. For his
money
. So when Travis called that night, I freaked out.”

Chloe's brow knitted but she no longer looked ready to chuck her stapler at him. “Nate.” God, it cut through him whenever she said his name with tenderness. “I had no idea.”

“The big, shameful family secret,” he said on a sigh. “It doesn't excuse what I said to you or my behavior that night. I wanted you to know. That's all.”

“And the check?” Chloe asked.

“You're a good person and you do good things for people. I think you were right when you said that the money was my dad's way of apologizing. Travis says that I should use it to carve out my own name and my own legacy and that's what I'm doing. I don't want to see you have to shut down. I want to take care of this foundation.” He brought his gaze to hers. “I want to take care of
you
. I love you, Chloe.”

*   *   *

He loves me
. For days, she'd resisted the urge to pick up her phone and call him. To let him fill her mind and her heart with whatever excuse for his behavior that he wanted to give her. She never would have guessed the truth of it, though. Good lord. Miranda. Chloe had done extensive research on Byron Christensen when she'd courted him. Not even the best of the gossip mongers had known that the old man had run off with his son's fiancée. No wonder Nate had harbored so much resentment. Who wouldn't be emotionally scarred by that sort of betrayal?

Did that excuse the things he'd said to her though? Chloe didn't know if she could easily overcome the hurt that still speared through her chest every time she thought about it. Lying somewhere beneath her own pain though, was an indignation that sparked her temper. “She did that to you and you were going to give her everything? How could you have even considered the possibility?” His brow furrowed at her infuriated tone. “Seriously, Nate? That woman doesn't deserve a red cent of that money. Really, someone should kick her ass!”

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and Chloe's heart melted. A living work of art, there wasn't an inch of him that wasn't perfect. Not an inch of him she didn't ache to touch.

Nate came around to the side of the desk. Chloe sat still as a statue, hands splayed out over the glossed chipboard surface. She didn't trust herself to move. Nate reached out and traced over the tops of her fingers. From the corner of her eye, she caught his lids droop. “Chloe.” He said her name on a reverent sigh that sent her blood racing in her veins. “I miss you.”

His touch tortured and excited her. She missed him, too. So much that she ached. He went to his knees beside her and Chloe turned her chair to face him as though she had no other choice but to respond to his gravitational pull. He reached out, threaded his fingers through the mass of her hair and brushed his thumb across her cheek.

“I'm fucked up, Chloe. I don't know how long it will be before I finally get a grip on the shit that messes with my head and screws with my emotions. I know I have a shitty temper. I'm not funny or easygoing. I'm trying to be better, though. I want to be better. For you. For us. I need you.” His teeth clamped down into a grimace and his brow furrowed. “I can't get you out of my fucking head. I know it sounds crazy but I'm not going to deny it or play it down. I knew that first night we were together that I'd never get enough of you. I do love you, Chloe. I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”

Emotion clogged her throat. A flush rose to Chloe's cheeks and all of the breathable oxygen seemed to be sucked from the room. She leaned into Nate's touch. She couldn't help herself. The heat was a balm on her skin. With a trembling hand, she scooted the check over to him. “This will always be between us, Nate. I want you to have this money. Have wanted it for you all along. But after everything that's happened—everything I know now—you'll always wonder. I'll always wonder. And we'll grow to resent each other because of it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don't want to be bought, Nate. And you don't want to be with someone who would allow herself to be.”

“Now who's being stubborn?” A deep crease cut into his brow above the bridge of his nose. “You convinced me to keep this damned money, and now you're refusing to let me spend it the way that I want?”

“Can you really say that in the back of your mind you won't always wonder if I'm with you because of this check? Because I feel obligated somehow?”

“No,” Nate said solemnly. “I
know
you, Chloe. I know you wouldn't put yourself in that position.”

“You didn't think so the other night.”

He let his hand drop from her face and pushed himself to stand. “You know why I freaked out the other night.”

She didn't want to tear open wounds that were best left to scar. It wasn't fair to Nate or to her. Fear prompted her to do so. Chloe was afraid of the way he made her feel. The intensity of emotion he evoked in her. She was afraid that they'd never settle into a rhythm and their relationship would be spiked with highs and lows that would make them both miserable in the long run.

What scared her most was that despite all of her fears and doubts, Chloe wanted him more than she'd ever wanted anything in her entire life. The world melted away when Nate was near. She had so much on her plate right now. The foundation and now Derrick. Could she balance having Nate in her life and still maintain everything else?

“Derrick is staying with me,” Chloe said. She didn't know why she blurted it out like that, maybe because she wanted to give Nate the opportunity to change his mind about wanting to be with her.

“I know,” he said.

“How?”

“Saw the little man in the lobby. I sent him out for ice cream. I love your big heart, Chloe. I love how much you care. Nothing you say is going to scare me off.”

“I'm scared,” Chloe whispered.

“I'm fucking terrified,” Nate said. “The thought of not being with you
terrifies
me.”

“I—I need some time.” Chloe couldn't make a decision about what she wanted right now. There was too much going on. She needed to think everything through. Process what he'd said to her.

“I can give you that,” Nate said. “I can give you
anything
you need.”

Nate stood and headed for the door. Emotion tugged at Chloe's chest, as though Nate was about to take her heart out that door with him. “Nate, you should take the check. I meant what I said. Whatever happens, I don't want this money between us.”

He turned around and strode to her desk. With his palms braced on the glossy surface, he leaned down to eye level. “You're keeping that money, Chloe. You can try and return it to me, but I'll just keep giving it back to you. And I think we both know I'm stubborn enough to do it.”

His words coaxed a smile to her lips. “Nate.” Tears sprung to her eyes and she couldn't speak louder than a whisper. “Thank you.”

“I love you, Chloe,” he said simply. “I'd do anything for you.
Anything
.” Nate turned and headed back to the door. He paused, hand gripping the knob. “We're having Christmas Eve dinner at Travis's house tonight. I want you and Derrick to come. Seven o'clock. Thirty-five twenty, Maple Creek Court.” Without waiting for her to respond, he left.

Chloe picked up the check and smoothed her fingers over the crisp paper. Nate Christensen really was an extraordinary man and she'd be a fool to let him go.

Thirteen

“Behave yourself or I will have your butt, mister.”

Derrick rolled his eyes as they walked under the portico to the looming front door of Travis Christensen's house. The kid had some serious 'tude, but Chloe planned to change that.

“You act like I'm not house-trained, Chloe. But
damn,
have you ever seen a house this big?”

“Language,” Chloe warned.

“Yeah, okay. Think they have a butler?”

Chloe snorted. By the looks of the place, Travis probably ought to have one. Compared to Nate's run-down ranch house, this place was a palace. Chloe looked down at her black leggings and thigh-length sweater and felt suddenly underdressed. Maybe she should have reconsidered coming tonight. After all, she was sort of dropping in, despite Nate's invite. It's not like she'd told him she was coming.