Claiming Chase: (A Second Chance Stepbrother Romance) (13 page)

“I have to say I’m slightly concerned about your progress, Charity,” Professor Lane says. “I expected you to have written at least another five thousand words by this stage. And I see that you’ve
still
not taken my advice about
Wuthering Heights.
Is everything okay?”

I sigh.

No. Nothing’s okay.

But how do I tell him?

I mean I can’t exactly say, ‘Well, you see Professor Lane, when I was a teenager I was madly in love with my stepbrother, but he rejected me. And now I’ve found him again. And he’s no longer my stepbrother. But he’s rejected me
again
. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why I can’t properly analyze
Wuthering Heights
. Maybe the complicated pseudo brother-and-sister relationship between Cathy and Heathcliff is just a little too close to home for me, okay?’

So what I say instead is, “I guess I am having trouble sleeping. So I’ve not been able to concentrate properly on my work recently.”

It’s not a lie.

“You wouldn’t be the first student to come unstuck at this stage of their thesis,” he says. “I recommend going to campus counseling. It’ll do you good to talk to somebody who understands. And why not see your doctor, too? I don’t usually advocate medication, but sleeping pills can be good in the short term for stress related disorders like this.”

“Thanks, Professor Lane,” I say, gathering my things and heading out the door. “I’ll get the next chapter to you this time next week, I promise.”

“Don’t over-stretch yourself,” he says. “Just work at your own pace. And I meant it about the counseling. Too many of you students bottle up your problems and it’s not good for you.”

Professor Lane is right again. I do bottle up my problems.

I haven’t even told anyone about Chase. Not really. Not the full story. I’ve told Gabby the edited highlights, but left out a few important details. I don’t feel like pouring my heart out to a stranger, but it is time that I talked this over properly with somebody.

I’ve dreamed all my life of getting my PhD, and I’ll be damned if I let Chase Lowe or Chase Parker or whoever he is now stand in the way of my dreams.

I head out of Professor Lane’s office and walk down the corridor, texting Gabby as I go.

You home?

She responds almost immediately, and I know she should be studying but is happy for the distraction.

Yep!

I need a chat,
I text back.
I’ll be back in an hour. I’ll bring cookies.

Great
, she replies.
I need a break.

I feel full of a new sense of purpose, for the first time in what seems like ages. I might not be heading to the library, but I’m taking steps to sort this all out, once and for all.

As I walk down the main steps, I’m startled by the voice calling out my name. I turn in its direction.

Chase.

What is he doing here?

Has he come to torment me once more?

Didn’t he humiliate me thoroughly enough last time? Did he perhaps forget some other cruel barb to stick in my side?

I keep on moving.

“Charity, wait,” he calls out, catching up with me, grabbing my arm, turning me to face him.

“Get your hands off me,” I say, roughly jerking my arm from his grip.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “but please wait. I need to talk to you.”

“Oh,
do
you?” I snap back.

“Yes,” he urges, almost breathless now. “Yes, I do. You see …”

But I’m in no mood to let him talk.

“That’s funny,” I say, dropping my voice to an almost-whisper. I don’t want to make a scene, but even though I’ve dropped my volume, I can’t keep the anger and bitterness out of my voice. “Because I really wanted to talk to you in August, 2005. Where were you then, Chase? Huh? And I really,
really
wanted to talk to you that last night we spent together. And what was it you told me? You told me that you’d ‘had enough’. That you were ‘done’. So, how does it feel, Chase? Now that the shoe is on the other foot? Because, you know what? I’ve ‘had enough’. I’m ‘done’, too. And now it’s my turn to walk away for once. And if you even think about following me, I’ll go straight to the campus police and tell them I’m being followed by a suspicious stranger. Goodbye, Chase. And don’t come here again. You’re not wanted.”

Good as my word, I turn on my heel and walk off.

He doesn’t follow, so he can’t see that despite my spirited performance back there on the steps, right now I’m crying my eyes out.

§

And I’m
still
crying my eyes out when I get home an hour later.

“Geez, what’s the matter?” Gabby says, rushing up from the sofa to give me a big hug.

“I forgot the cookies,” I sob.

“Woah, woah,” she says. “I mean, sure, I’m disappointed, but it’s really not worth crying over …”

I slump down on the sofa.

“No, it’s Chase,” I begin.

“I thought you said he was an asshole, and you were never going to have anything more to do with him?”

“He is, and I’m not,” I reply. “But I haven’t told you the full story.”

“I’ve got all afternoon,” Gabby replies. “Hit me.”

“Okay,” I say, taking a deep breath. “Like I said, he was someone from my past. I was fifteen when I met him. I thought he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen … I still do. I was on vacation at my dad’s summerhouse. But he wasn’t just some boy from the town or anything like that, Gabby. He was my …”

I pause.

Am I really gonna say it?

“His mom had married my dad earlier that year,” I say, waiting for the look of disgust to register on her face.

But it doesn’t.

“He was my
stepbrother
, Gabby,” I say.

“Wow, so, complicated, huh?” Gabby says.

“You’re telling me,” I reply.

“But nothing happened between you that summer, right? I thought he was the one who got away?”

“Things
nearly
happened,” I say. “We couldn’t control it. We were teenagers. All those hormones. It felt inevitable. But he took off. ‘I can’t do this,’ he said, and the next morning he was gone, just like that. I never saw him again.”

“So, he’s not your stepbrother anymore?” Gabby says, trying to piece the story together.

“No,” I sigh. “Cassie, I mean, Chase’s mom … She had an affair. She left him that same winter. They were married for less than nine months in total. Dad was worried about Chase. He liked him. Didn’t want him to go off the rails. But Chase was eighteen when he took off. He was an adult. So there was nothing Dad could do. I think he tried to look for him a couple of times over the years … Before he died, of course.”

Gabby remains silent and lets me talk.

“I just … Why did he
do it
, Gabby? Why did he run away and leave me like that? I cried the whole rest of the summer you know. I pretended I had mono so I didn’t need to leave my room. Ten whole years without any answers. And then I find him! And he’s right here in New York! And still, he can’t give me an answer, and he just takes off again. What’s wrong with me?”

“Oh, sweetie,” Gabby says consolingly. “
Nothing
is wrong with you. But you said he was eighteen when all this happened, right?”

“Yeah, seventeen going on eighteen,” I reply.

“Sounds like it must have been quite scary for him?”

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it, Charity. He was nearly legally an adult. And you were his new kid sister. He was put in an unnatural situation he couldn’t control. And what could have happened if he’d stayed? Really?”

“I guess I’d never really thought about it like that,” I sigh.

“You say your dad liked him? And you’ve also told me he was a bad boy. What if your dad had found out? He’d have kicked him out faster than he’d left himself, that’s for sure.”

“Oh yeah,” I smile. “Dad would have kicked his ass.”

I know this is gonna sound stupid, but all the time I’ve devoted over the years to thinking about what happened that summer, I never stopped to think about it from Chase’s point of view.

The poor kid had been bounced from State to State his entire life, never staying longer than a few months in one place. Maybe he thought things were finally going to settle down when Cassie met my dad. Maybe he thought he had a family he could try and be a part of.

And then I show up, and what happens between us is inevitable. Of course we’d have ended up getting caught. And he’s left with the choice of either ruining everything, or just getting the hell out of there.

I think if I’d been in his position, I’d have done exactly the same thing.

And with that, finally, after all these years, I forgive him.

I forgive him for being a scared teenager. For making the decision to run.

Chase Parker, the man the boy became, is never going to be the one for me.
He’s
never going to stop running from the past. But I can make my peace with it now. And finally move on.

“So, if we’re all in agreement, gentlemen,” I say, “I’ll have the contracts drawn up and sent over to you tomorrow morning. I think this is going to be a great fit for you guys …”

I stand up and shake each of their hands in turn.

“Bill, Hank,” I add. “I’m looking forward to working with you both.”

Bill and Hank, the multi-millionaire heirs to a fast food packaging fortune, remain practically silent. They keep their cards close to their chests.

This is my favorite part of the job. Booking new clients in this business is like fishing, and I’ve just landed myself a whale.

I see the two men out of the door of the dimly lit cocktail bar, then head back inside to settle up the bill.

I wince slightly when I look at the check. That bottle of Michter’s celebration whiskey set me back a cool three grand alone. Guys like Bill and Hank wouldn’t bat an eyelid at spending that kind of money, but a kid from the wrong side of the tracks like me? I can’t help but marvel at the fact that my card won’t be declined as I hand it over. Still, it was worth it.

I’m on my way out the door when I hear a voice, calling me.

“Chase Parker?”

I look up. It’s Lance Freidrickson, an old buddy from my time back at Morgan Stanley.

“It’s been, what, four years?” he calls over to me. “I heard you’d struck out on your own! How’s business? Wish I had the guts to do that myself, but I’m a company man, through and through. They’ll have to print Morgan Stanley on my coffin …”

And I laugh, about to reply as I approach his table. But as I take another step towards him, turning the corner, the other side of his booth becomes visible and I stop dead in my tracks.

“So, old buddy,” Lance continues. “It’s really good to see you. How
are
you?”

He’s looking up at me, waiting for me to speak. But how can I? What can I say, when he’s sitting there with
her
?

“Forgive me, I’m so rude,” he laughs. “Chase? This is my date, Charity. Charity Lindley, this is Chase Parker.”

“Pleased to meet you,” I say quietly, trying to meet her eyes. But she’s doing everything she can to avoid looking at me.

“You too,” she says, without taking her eyes off Lance, not even for a second, as if to make clear that
he’s
the most important thing in the world to her right now. 

Really? Lance Friedrickson is what Charity wants? Am I really gonna lose her to him?

“Listen,” Lance continues, his friendly tone making me wonder if the tension I can feel between us is all in my head. “We’ve just had some dinner and we were gonna order another drink before calling it a night. But you should join us! Fill Charity in on the kinds of crazy stunts we used to pull in the office. ”

“No, no, really, I wouldn’t want to interrupt,” I say, shaking my head and backing away from the table.

I want to scream, to grab Charity by the shoulders and tell her she’s got to come with me, right this second. But I can’t make a scene. And anyway, it’s clear that she doesn’t want me anywhere near her.

But Lance is insistent. He’s not going to let me get out of here. Before I can make my excuses, he’s called over a waiter to bring an extra chair and the drinks menu. I have no choice. I sit down.

“So, Lance,” I say, “what have you been up to all these years?”

I might be talking to Lance, but my eyes are fixed firmly on Charity.

And finally she’s looking at me, too, and I can tell she’s furious.

“Well,” Lance says obliviously, “working my way up the old corporate ladder at Morgan Stanley. But luckily, I’ve found time to take this beautiful woman out tonight. And she’s not just a pretty face, you know? She’s studying for a
PhD
, too.”

“A scholar?” I say to Charity. “You must spend a lot of time in the library.”

She smiles a cruel smile. I just want her to recognize that we know each other. To give me some clue that the connection we once had isn’t lost forever. But she obviously thinks I’m just toying with her.

“Yes, the library,” she snaps back. “You should really give it a go sometime,
if
your reading abilities are up to scratch, that is ...”

Ouch
, I think.

I can’t believe she’s bringing that up. I supposed I deserve it, though. Still, it’s a harsh thing to say, and in the circumstances, even more so.

Lance picks up on it, too.

“Woah, where did
that
come from?” he laughs, uneasily.

I try to lighten the mood.

“So where did you meet such a beautiful and talented young woman?” I say to Lance. “I mean, you don’t spend much time in libraries either!”

But before he can even respond, she cuts in. “Ok Cupid, actually. I’m trying to move on from some asshole who broke my heart.”

Wow
. If I thought she was being vicious before, she’s really done it this time.

And Lance is totally baffled by her behavior.

He tries to laugh, but it’s obvious he’s not finding any of this funny.

“We can’t all have your luck with women, Chase,” he murmurs. “Some of us have to turn to the old internet in our search for true love ...”

I feel sorry for him, so I say, “Well, Charity, you can take my word for it. Lance is a good guy.”

Suddenly, she gets to her feet.

“If
you
think he’s a good guy,” she says, staring at me, “then he must be an even bigger prick than I already thought.”

She grabs her bag.

“Goodnight, Lance. Thanks for dinner. Don’t call me again.” 

Then she pushes past me, storming out towards the exit.

“What the hell do you think got into
her
?” Lance says, shaking his head in confusion.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have come here, I probably spoiled your date.”

“Forget about it,” Lance laughs. “She was a total cold fish anyway. I was never gonna get a fuck tonight. It was a waste of time,
and
a waste of money. At least now we can have a proper catch up, just us guys.”

All I want to do right now is run after her. I feel like it’s taking all of my strength just to remain in my seat. I want so badly to run after her, to take her in my arms, to apologize over and over again.

There must be
something
I can do to make her hear my words, to make her understand just how much I regret the way I’ve behaved. Everything I’ve ever done.

But I’ve messed up. I’ve gone too far. And I have to respect her decision. I don’t deserve her goodness.

The Charity I saw tonight, with her barbed comments and her eyes flashing with anger – that’s the one I deserve.

And while all these thoughts whir around my head, Lance just keeps on talking. Luckily he’s such a self-absorbed asshole, he hasn’t noticed that I’m not really listening to him (let alone the fact that Charity’s little scene tonight was obviously about me and not him). So I just nod along to whatever he’s saying as I curse myself, wishing there was some way I could turn back time and do this all so differently.