Clarity (20 page)

I wanted it over and done with, and I kept reminding myself that
Perdita
was safe. That got me through the lingering sensations of wanting to grip Ryan by the throat and shake him like a dog.

Ryan was an amazing tracker. He zoned in on
Willow
straight away, even in his human form. He had persuaded us to approach her in human form in case we surprised her. He said we really didn’t want to surprise
Willow
.

“I’ve been avoiding her since we got here, but before, I spent a lot of time with her. I can catch her scent on the wind no matter where I go. The trick is finding the most recent trail. Real wolves don’t have the range we do, but you have to use it, push it further. It’s the only way you grow.”

“Maybe I’m different,” I said, a little grumpily.

“You need practice. That’s all. I grew up with humans, and my mother hated me running with my grandfather. Plus he moved around a lot to draw attention away from us. But when he was around, he showed me a couple of things. I didn’t really use them until Vin forced me, but I can help you… if you want.”

I shrugged, but really I was excited to hear more from him.

“How the hell did Vin get all the power?” Jeremy asked.

“Killed an alpha and raised all of the younger wolves to fear him. It’s hard to face him. He has the pack’s power behind him, so it makes it tougher to stare him down.”

“Bet I could do it,” Jeremy mumbled.

“Maybe. Maybe not. But he’s persuaded an awful lot of werewolves that they need to live like him. Would you really want the responsibility of having to make every single little decision for all of those werewolves and their families?”

“Why don’t they all just gang up on him or something?” I asked.

“That isn’t how it works,” Ryan said. “It’s not in our nature. There’s some instinct to know who’s boss. We automatically rank ourselves against each other. Even against humans. It all depends on who else is around at the time.”

“But it can change,” I said.

“Not often,” he replied.

I was about to talk about
Opa
and Byron switching places, but Jeremy frowned at me and shook his head.

“Good,” Ryan said after a few minutes. “She’s still at the hotel. I was afraid she went wolf. No talking to her like that. Right. She might sense us and run, but she could be in one of her dazes. If we get into her room and she attacks me, then hold her down as gently as possible. Don’t hurt her. We need her calm. Actually, Nathan, she won’t react well to you, so keep out of her way. Jeremy can handle her, I think.”

“And then what?” Jeremy asked.

“Then we talk to her about Vin. See where we all stand.”

“This better be good,” Jeremy said. “I need to have something useful to bring back to the others, okay? And if you’re trying to get one over on us, you will be sorry. Do you understand me?”

“You’ll see,” Ryan insisted.

An old man sat behind the counter in the lobby of the small bed-and-breakfast, but he seemed too busy reading a newspaper to even notice us. We followed Ryan up a narrow staircase, and part of the way up, I caught her scent. We were definitely in the right place, but only time would tell if Ryan was being truthful.

He hesitated outside her room, then shook himself and rapped on the door. There was a bang before the door opened, and a wide-eyed woman peered out. Ryan pushed the door, forcing himself in, and she growled fiercely. She was about to strike him when she caught sight of me and lunged in my direction.

Jeremy grabbed her by the waist and lifted her into the room. Ryan and I followed, closing the door.

“Calm down,” Jeremy whispered.

She was a little scary looking, and her eyes were so wild it unnerved me. “You’re a traitor!” She hiccupped out a sob. “A traitor, traitor, traitor dog.”

Ryan sat on the bed. “I’ve never betrayed you,
Willow
. Think about it. Don’t you remember? I took the blame for you. When they hurt you? They stopped because I protected you. Don’t you remember that?”

She stopped flailing and stared at him, breathing heavily. “I… I remember. But you chased me. You stopped me from getting my blood vengeance. He promised it to me. He said I could take my father’s place.”

Jeremy heaved himself into a ratty armchair, with
Willow
on his lap. She didn’t seem to notice.

“I know he did,” Ryan said in that low, calm voice. “But he lied. He lies to you a lot,
Willow
. You know that, don’t you?”

She stared at him, her eyes even wider. When she spoke again, her voice had changed into something soft and young. “Why did you chase me away?”

“Because I didn’t want you to hurt that girl.”

Her eyes narrowed, and her voice became harsh and crude again. “She killed my father! She deserves it!”

“That was a mistake. She’s just a girl. It was a fluke. Your father would never be hurt so easily. And the girl didn’t ask to be hunted down. She was innocent. She tried to protect herself; that’s all. You’re on the wrong side,
Willow
.”

“What are you talking about? There’s no side. It’s the pack; that’s all the side there is!”

“It doesn’t have to be like this. We don’t have to live like this. Vin isn’t good to you, to any of us. He’s hurting my girls,
Willow
. I can’t let him do that. But I need your help to stop him. I need these wolves’ help, too. Will you join me?”

“He won’t hurt those girls,” she said, her voice creepily young again. It was eerie how she switched between personas so easily.

“He hurt you. He wants you to hurt the girls here in
Dublin
. He sent you in by yourself to fight an entire pack. He didn’t expect you to walk away from that. And if he was a real leader, then he would do the work himself; wouldn’t he?”

She nodded, then her face shot upward. “I told him already. About you.”

“That’s okay. That’s probably a good thing. It means he still trusts you, so he won’t hurt you. But I need you to tell me what happens next. What did he tell you?”

She cocked her head to the side. I sidled closer to the door. She freaked me out big time.

“Come on, Willow. We’re friends. I’ve taken care of you. When your father was in his rages, I kept you safe, didn’t I? I’ll protect you. I promise you that, but I need your help.”

She was silent for an age, and I could see her struggle to go against her alpha. “He’s sending more. I’m supposed to keep the family busy while they take the other girl. He said they’re supposed to come after you, to rip out your spine.”

A collective shudder ran through the room.
Willow
pried Jeremy’s arms away from her midriff.

“You can lay off now,” she said, moving to the bed. Her eyes were calmer than they had been since we’d entered her room.

“You okay?” Ryan sounded wary.

“Yeah.” She rubbed her cheeks, staring at the window. “I know he’s a bad man, a bad wolf, but how are we supposed to go against him? I can’t disobey the alpha.”

“With a little help, you can,” Ryan said. “I know you don’t see me as part of the pack, not really, but he doesn’t care about us at all. He’s turned the pack into murderers, wild dogs. This isn’t what we’re meant to be,
Willow
.”

I watched her stare blankly again and wondered if she was even listening. Maybe the whole idea was a mistake. I believed Ryan. No wolf was that good a liar, but it still didn’t feel right to work with him and
Willow
after everything that had happened. Jeremy seemed fascinated, and I remembered how little I knew about him, too. I wished Byron was there. I wished Byron was my alpha.

“I think we need to leave now,” I said.
Willow
’s head whipped in my direction. I saw the wolf flare behind her eyes as her face flashed with recognition. She leapt at me before I could blink, but Jeremy already had her in his arms.

He made her look at him, gripping her cheeks to force her focus on him. “Settle down,” he said, and a shiver of anticipation ran through me. Something in the way he said it sounded familiar. “Do not attack him again. Understand?”

She nodded, but Ryan swore. Jeremy glanced over at him. “She needs it, to keep her straight. She’s all mixed up because of him. This thing that happens to her mind is something he could help her with if he tried.”

Ryan stood up warily.

“Relax,” Jeremy said. “I’m helping her.”

He released
Willow
, who shook herself. She sat down and looked over at me, not a shred of violence in her expression.

“What did you do?” I asked, bewildered.

“I’m making sure she stays calm and doesn’t get herself, or anyone else, hurt.”

My mouth dropped open. “Did you pull rank on her? Can you even do that? What the hell, Jeremy?”

“It’s not like that,” he insisted. “I’m giving her a bit of strength so she can keep her head together. It’s as if there’s a piece of her missing. Her alpha should provide it for her. That’s why she’s so twisted. I’m letting her lean on me for a bit; that’s all.”

Ryan glared at him. “This wasn’t part of the deal.”

“I’m not hurting her. Look at her. She’s fine. We’re stronger together. The bigger the pack is, the stronger we are. That’s how it works. That’s why my family is strong. We trust each other, live together, run together.”

I didn’t quite believe in that. “Won’t he know? Her alpha, I mean. Won’t he know there’s something different?”

“I doubt it,” Jeremy said, but Ryan didn’t seem convinced.

“What do you need me to do?”
Willow
’s voice had changed again, mellowed.

“Help us get to Vin,” Jeremy said.

“That’ll be difficult,” she said. “He rarely leaves the rest of the pack. He stands behind them. It’ll take something huge to get him away from there.”

“It might be easier than before,” Ryan replied. “He’s been spending more time as a human. It might dull his senses a little, and he’s been on edge since we told him about… your grandmother’s death. He could get careless. Plus, there’s more chance of
Willow
speaking directly to him instead of to his mate.”

“How many is he sending?” Jeremy asked. “Do you know?”

“At least four. More if he can find them. He wants to take the girl to try and breed her. He keeps saying she’s like her grandmother.”
Willow
looked at Ryan. His face paled noticeably. I knew he had to be thinking about his daughters, but all I thought about was Amelia and how I would do whatever it took to keep her out of Vin’s hands.

“We need to talk to the rest of our family and figure out what we’re doing,” Jeremy said. “For what it’s worth, I’m in. But I need to persuade the others to get in on the plan, too. You two sit tight, for now. Don’t change plans. Don’t leave. Figure out when exactly they’ll get here, and we’ll have a chance to surprise them. You’re going to get your daughters back.”

Ryan and Jeremy shook hands. I wondered how Jeremy could touch Ryan and not want to hurt him. Then again, Jeremy hadn’t been there for the fight.

He hadn’t seen our grandmother’s body.

Perdita

I sat on a bench outside the hospital because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to see Dad. I definitely didn’t want to go home. I hoped Nathan was okay. I still hadn’t heard from him, and I was beginning to regret convincing him to meet with Ryan. What if I had been wrong?

Amelia had asked to meet me, but she would be at least half an hour. I decided that wasn’t too long to wait.

“
Perdy
? What are you doing out here?”

I cringed inwardly at my mother’s voice. She sat next to me, close enough that I could see the lines on her face through her heavy makeup. But I didn’t recognise her. Not her voice, nor her perfume, nor her face, except for the features we shared. There was no instinct inside me that said we were family, and I didn’t know how to get past that.

“Well?”

“Waiting for a friend.”

“Not avoiding me then?”

I shifted in my seat.

“Your dad’s worried about you,” she said.

I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. “If you say so.”

“He is. I can tell. He’s not very good at showing how he really feels sometimes, but—”

“I’m not being rude, but what do you care? Why are you even here? The truth, this time.”

She looked away, and for a second, I thought she would storm off. Part of me hoped she would.

“I’m not really cut out for this motherly stuff,” she said at last. “It’s too much pressure, having to constantly worry about another person. It’s been nice seeing how you’ve grown up without actually having to deal with any of the hard bits.”

“Wow.” I was developing new respect for people like Dad and Byron for showing up for the job every day.