Close Enough to Touch (20 page)

“Not that I know of,” Cole said.

“I think she likes him.”

Rayleen hooted and scooped up a pile of dollar bills. “You’ll
have to find some other way to pay for your little blue pills, old man. I’m
gonna bleed you dry.”

“You certainly know how to suck the life out of a man,” he
answered.

“That’s what my dear departed husband used to say.”

Shane snorted in amusement as Easy’s neck turned beet-red. Cole
didn’t crack a smile.

But Rayleen grinned. “Don’t tell me nobody ever told you about
the ol’ fellatio, Easy. Why, these young cowboys tell me it’s all the rage.”

“You’re incorrigible, woman.”

“That comes with the fellatio, you fool.”

Even Cole snorted at that.

Easy adjusted his hat and shuffled the cards, his neck still
ablaze. “You been hanging out with your young studs too much, Rayleen. You
should spend some time with a real man who’ll teach you some manners.”

Grace nudged Cole with her elbow. “See?” she whispered.

Rayleen’s smile slipped back to her normal sour sneer. “If you
hear about any real men, you be sure to let me know.”

“You attract a lot more flies with honey, you know.”

“There’s the problem right there. Who the hell wants a bunch of
flies buzzing around? A damn nuisance.”

Easy just grunted and dealt the cards.

“They’ve got something going on,” Grace said to Cole.

“Jesus, I hope not.”

“They’re lonely, maybe. Both of them.”

She watched as Rayleen pretended she didn’t like playing cards
with Easy. Then she acted like Shane was bothering her with his teasing. Rayleen
was lonely. She was
alone.
And she was so scared to
acknowledge it that she made a point of being mean. But this bar, the
apartments, everything was designed to bring other people into her life. To
force them near on Rayleen’s terms.

Grace’s heart began to pound hard and her mouth went dry.
Suddenly Rayleen wasn’t just some old, washed-up, lonely woman. She was Grace in
thirty years. Grace, who lashed out when she felt vulnerable. Grace, who
couldn’t let herself need or want anything from anyone.

She poured herself another beer and drank it fast.

If she didn’t change her life, someday she’d have to do this.
Find some way to force people close. And by that time, it wouldn’t be so easy to
get the small things she needed. She wouldn’t be able to use her body the way
she did now, to touch men when she wanted and then push them away. To find
release and pleasure at a moment’s notice. And no one would take her in if she
needed help. She’d just be another crazy old grouch who was too mean to have
real friends.

She had to get out of here soon. She had to pay off her debt
and start her new life. Make a new way for herself. She didn’t want to end up
like Rayleen any more than she wanted to end up like her own mother: weak and
broken and used up and stupidly wondering why things weren’t better.

Because you never make anything
better,
she’d said to her mom when she’d last seen her three years
ago.
Because your one gift in life is being so malleable
you bend like putty.
Her mom had simply looked confused and cried a
few tears at Grace’s meanness. The meanness that had gotten her through her
mom’s abusive boyfriends, and then a life of fear and violence on the
streets.

But Grace could see what she’d done wrong now. She’d been so
afraid of becoming her mom that she’d made herself too strong. She couldn’t bend
at all. She could only fall over and shatter, hurting anyone who got near.

There had to be a better way. She had to find it. If she was
going to be alone, she didn’t want it to be like this.

“I don’t hate him, you know.”

Grace blinked from her thoughts and saw that Cole was leaning
against the bar, head bowed. “Who?” she asked.

“Easy. He’s not just my boss. He was my dad’s best friend. He’s
been like an uncle to me. Hell, maybe another father.”

“So, what’s wrong?”

“This thing with the movie production.”

“Ah. You’re pissed that he accepted the offer. It was a pretty
fair price, you know. You can’t begrudge him that. The studio was under the
gun.”

“He didn’t do it for the money. He did it to teach me a
lesson.”

“What lesson?”

“Hell if I know. Something for my own good, I gather.”

She watched the way his mouth flattened with anger. With his
head tipped down, she couldn’t see much more beneath his hat. “You must
know.”

His lips turned up into a tight smile and he finally met her
gaze. “Easy doesn’t have any kids. I’m supposed to buy his ranch when he’s ready
to retire. Close enough to a son, I guess. At least he’ll know the person who
owns his land. But now he’s not sure.”

“Not sure of what?”

“Not sure I’m the right man for the job anymore.”

“Oh.” She looked from Easy to Cole, aware she’d stumbled into a
thicket of male ego and hurt pride. “Did he say that?”

“No, he said he wanted to give me more
opportunities.
”

She wanted to ask why, wanted to ask what had happened, but she
worried it would be like a tiny crack in a pressurized tank. One little tap and
it would spread, bright and ominous notes of warning chiming that it was about
to explode.

“He’s worried about my leg,” Cole said softly.

“But that’ll heal eventually.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Probably.”

Grace felt her skin go cool as she realized what he was saying
and hoped he didn’t mean it.

“It’ll be fine,” he said so softly that she barely heard
it.

“What if it’s not?”

“It will be.”

She heard fear in those words, but more than anything else, she
heard weariness. An unyielding weight of exhaustion that she immediately
recognized. When you were looking straight at a wall and there was no way around
it. No way under or over. She knew in that moment it seemed that there was
nothing to do but lie down and give up the ghost. Just lie down and hope life
was over with quickly instead of lasting too long.

She’d been there. Recently, but also many times in the past.
Hell, she might even be there right at this moment, but she hadn’t looked around
and realized it yet.

She wanted to touch him. The thought hit her so suddenly and
completely that it scared her. She wanted to touch him and feel his hands on
her, too. A connection. Something to anchor two lost people.

His hands. His mouth. They’d make her feel real. And she could
do that for him, too.

He glanced up and froze. His pupils tightened as if he could
read the need on her face. She had to part her lips to get enough air.

Cole raised his hand as if he meant to brush a hair from her
face, but instead he touched his thumb to her mouth. Grace closed her eyes and
shuddered. That was all it took with him. One touch and she forgot her
resolution to stay away. To be pissed. To never want anything from him.

His hand fell away, sliding down to her shoulder, then down her
arm until he wrapped her fingers into his. “Come on.”

Come on.
The only words it took to
seduce a girl like her. She let him lead her out of the saloon and back to his
apartment. Grace walked to his bedroom before he’d even closed the front
door.

* * *

C
OLE
DIDN
’
T
KNOW
WHY
he felt so desperate. He’d been
entirely spent not twenty-four hours before and exhausted by a day of stress and
frustration. But one look from Grace and his heart was pounding with so much
need it felt like panic.

She pulled her shirt over her head and then they fell to the
bed, hands grasping each other, mouths devouring. He was hard as a rock already,
and he gasped with relief when he ground his cock against her. Her legs wrapped
around him, her hips rocking.

He wanted to be inside her already, but he couldn’t conceive of
letting her go long enough to get her jeans off. So he just pushed himself
against her and listened to her moan in approval. Her hands crept beneath his
shirt. Her nails dug into his skin and scratched at his lust until it
howled.

He wanted to fuck her until she screamed. He wanted to make her
sorry she’d left the way she had. Sorry she’d even wanted to leave.

“Cole,” she groaned. Her hands slid beneath his jeans and
forced his hips tighter to her. “Fuck me. Please. God, just fuck me.”

He laughed in angry pleasure. He’d do it when he was good and
ready. She could wait the way she’d made him wait for her call today.

When he didn’t respond, her nails dug into his skin and then
her teeth were at his neck, biting hard.

“Damn it,” he barked, startled at the pain. But more than that,
he was shocked at how much it pissed him off. And how close he felt to coming as
rage surged through his blood.

“Now,” she ordered.
“Now.”

Cole sat up to tear off his shirt. “Take off your jeans,” he
growled. Her triumphant smile turned his heart into thunder. He felt like a
stallion that’d do violence to anything that tried to interfere with his goal.
He unbuttoned his own jeans and pushed them down just far enough to draw out his
cock.

Her eyes blazed with victory.

As if she’d won.

Cole growled and yanked her jeans off with rough hands. Grace
laughed as if he couldn’t be rough enough to do anything more than amuse her. He
slipped on a condom and lowered himself over her. And when he grabbed her wrists
and pressed them to the bed, she laughed again, taunting him. She thought she
was about to get what she wanted.

But Cole had other ideas. He pressed his hips tight to hers,
pushing his cock against her just as he had before. Only this time there were no
clothes between them. It was just his cock sliding against her clit.

She wrapped her legs around him again, and the heat of her
pussy seared his shaft. But he didn’t shift his hips. He didn’t slide lower so
he could sink inside her. Instead, he pressed his cock against her clit again,
rocking until she moaned.

For a moment, he almost forgot why he was doing this. He was
overwhelmed with the thought that he could shift one inch down, just one tiny
inch, and his head would slide into her. She was so wet. It would be so easy.
He’d slip right into place and then press a little and he’d be in her. Inside
that tightness and heat. Surrounded by her body as she took him in. He’d—

“Fuck me,” she pleaded. “Fuck me.”

He remembered, suddenly. Remembered that he’d meant to make her
pay.

“No,” he said. He slid lower, but he didn’t stop where she
wanted—where
he
wanted. Instead he put his knee
between her thighs and bent over to suck her nipple between his teeth.

“No!” she gasped, even as she arched up into his mouth. He
pressed his teeth a little harder and she cried out, then whimpered when he
licked at her to soothe the sting.

“Oh, God,” she groaned. She tried to slide down, but his thigh
blocked her way. He pressed his leg against her, loving the way she moved
against him in desperation.

She seemed to remember that he held her wrists then, and when
she struggled against him, he remembered, too. That he had her beneath him, that
her delicate wrists were in his grip, that she was fighting him, twisting her
arms, even as she rocked against him, the heat of her pussy scalding his skin,
driving him mad. He wanted inside her. He
needed
it.

She jerked her hands, trying to free them. He held her
easily.

“Tell me you want me to let you go,” he whispered against her
skin.

“Do it,” she ordered.

“No.” He dragged his mouth up to her collarbone. “Tell me you
want me to let you go, if that’s what you want. Tell me to let you go and get
off you.”

She bucked beneath him, her arms straining.

“Or…beg me to hold you down and take you. Beg me.”

“Fuck you,” she growled.

He kissed her neck and now his body was pressed against her,
his cock notched just
there.
He wanted to groan the
way she was groaning. Wanted to beg her to let him.
Please,
just let me.
She was so strong. So stubborn and angry and brave.

“I’ll fuck you, Grace. All you have to do is ask me nicely.
That’s all. Ask for what you want from me instead of taking. I’ll give you
anything.”

“I hate you,” she sobbed. Her hips tipped up, dragging her sex
against the head of his cock. Power turned to liquid heat in his veins and
threatened to weaken his will.

He dragged her arms above her head and easily held both her
wrists in one hand. He slid the other between them, and his fingers found the
slick, hard bud of her clit easily.

“Oh, God!” she screamed. “Oh, God, please. Please, Cole.”

He smiled, amazed that he could still be controlled enough to
feel anything more than animal lust. “Please, what?”

“Please. Please, fuck me. Now. Please. Just…” She pulled
against his grip and moaned louder as he rubbed her clit. “Hold me down,” she
rasped. “Fuck me. Hard. Please. I need it.”

Her words transformed the power in his body to blinding need.
Desperation. Whatever she needed from him, he needed it more.

He took her wrists in both hands one more time, pressing them
hard to the mattress.

“Please,” she whispered. “Please, please, please.”

He pressed his hips forward slowly, easing into her heat. He
held his breath, concentrating on the sweet tightness of her body.

“Yes,” she urged as he filled her. “God, yes. Cole—” Her words
died on a gasp as he surged deep. He took her slow and deep and hard. He held
her down, watching her face as her eyes closed and her lips parted and the
breath rushed from her throat. She gasped with each thrust, panting as he took
her faster.