Close Enough to Touch (28 page)

It couldn’t be…

She’d left.

Cole snapped from his shock and jumped up to open the door.

Grace stood there in the rain, hair dripping, shoulders bowed
down by the weight of her bag. “I was arrested,” she said quietly.

“I know.”

“In front of everyone.”

“Come here,” Cole murmured, pulling her into his arms. She was
ice-cold and shaking. Or maybe he was shaking. He turned her, pulling her into
the warmth of the room before he shut the door behind her and tossed her bag
aside.

“You’re freezing,” he said, rubbing his hands over her arms
before he pulled off her soaked hoodie. “I thought you were gone.”

Teeth chattering, she let him undress her until she was wearing
nothing but her panties and a tank top. Then he pulled the blanket off the bed
and wrapped her in it. “Better?”

She nodded, still not meeting his eyes. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew. It was the first thing I heard when I got
back to town.” He smiled to take the sting away, to make it a joke, but she
didn’t answer his smile.

“I can’t go back, Cole.”

“Of course you can. You think no one in town has ever been
arrested before? And you left so quickly, people probably think you’re a
fugitive. That only makes it more exciting.”

“The charges were dropped,” she rasped.

“I know.” He sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms. “You
want to tell me what happened?”

“I never meant for this to happen,” she started, and then she
told him the whole story. The cash she’d taken and lost. The way she’d fled L.A.
in a panic that her ex might file charges. The money she’d sent and would have
to keep sending for the next year or two.

“It’ll be okay,” he said. “It was a mistake. And bad luck. You
don’t have to be ashamed.”

“But I do,” she whispered. “You don’t understand. When I was
with Scott, I let him change me. I saw it happening and I went along with it,
because…I let myself need him.”

“Shit, Grace. We’ve all done that.”

“That’s not true. When have you ever needed anyone?”

“As a matter of fact, it’s one of the reasons I don’t tell
anyone about L.A. I became someone I didn’t like. I hated it and I didn’t stop
it soon enough. I know what that’s like.”

“You don’t understand. It’s not simple for me. My mother
was—is—
weak.
And everything I am, everything I
want to be, it’s so I don’t end up like her. Getting stepped on and spit on and
used. Doing anything she can just to keep a man, because she thinks she can’t
make it on her own. Do you know what it was like to watch her do that? To change
her looks and personality and interests every time some new boyfriend came to
stay? She was a new person every year. Which one of them was my mother? Which
one was real? I hated that. I hated her. And suddenly, it was me doing that.
Because I needed him. Letting him treat me like shit.”

“You didn’t stay. You came to your senses.”

“No,” she whispered. “He kicked me out. That’s the worst part,
Cole. He kicked me out like a dog he didn’t want anymore.”

“Ah, shit, Grace.” He kissed the top of her head and pulled her
closer. “That’s not you. You were going to figure it out. Be glad it ended the
way it did. Because I know you, and if you’d stayed longer, you would have
eventually exploded in a way that would’ve resulted in injury to that man’s
reproductive organs. And then you really would’ve gone to jail. And if you ended
up on probation, how would you have come to Wyoming?”

He was relieved to hear a small, watery laugh. But she still
felt too small in his arms.

“Listen, Madeline treated me like shit, too. And I left on my
own. But then I went crawling back like a fool, only to find she didn’t want me
anymore. So, yeah, we have all done that. Everyone in this room, anyway.”

She shook her head.

“I never thought I’d have the guts to beg again, but look. Here
I am on my knees for you, begging you to stay.”

“You aren’t on your knees.”

“No, but I would be, if I thought it would work. You have a job
here. And friends. Just try, Grace. See how it feels.”

She shook her head, but at least she didn’t say no out loud.
With her, that was progress.

“When I went to L.A. all those years ago, I didn’t exactly
receive a hero’s send-off. I’d lived here my whole life. I had friends, a job,
obligations. I had a girlfriend I walked away from. And my dad… We fought. We
pushed each other. We said terrible things.”

He felt Grace tilt her head to look up at him, but he didn’t
meet her gaze.

“I burned all my bridges and left everyone behind so I could
hang out with glamorous strangers. Two months later, my dad died. That was what
I came home to. No family. Friends I’d treated badly. Responsibilities I’d
tossed aside. But I came back because this was my home. People forgave me faster
than I forgave myself. And no one needs to forgive you for anything. You haven’t
hurt anyone. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of.”

“But it’s not my home, Cole.”

“Are you sure?”

She fell silent. He slid a hand over her hair, wondering why
she’d changed it. He’d liked the purple streaks, but he was happy to have her
back in his arms. He could get used to any hair color she wanted. He let her
rest there for a long moment, hoping she’d change her mind. But she didn’t
speak.

“I’m scared, too, you know. I might never ride again. I’ll find
out in a couple of weeks.”

“Find out what?”

“I’ll have a CT scan, and then they’ll tell me I can’t ride
again, and I have to figure out what that means.”

Her hand spread over his chest. “You’ll be okay.”

“I won’t be. That last time I saw you at the ranch, I’d finally
realized it. I’d ridden and I couldn’t even stand on my own afterward. It’s
over, Grace. But it’ll be okay.”

“But what will you do? If you can’t ride…”

His throat felt thick, but Cole shook it off. “I’ve always been
good with numbers. I’ve got the money I saved up for the ranch. I can take some
classes. Go back to school. I can learn to manage the business side of a big
place. Maybe one of these dude ranches. It’s not my dream, but it could be my
choice.”

Her fingers pressed into him. He covered her hand with his.

“Maybe your leg is okay,” she whispered.

“Maybe,” he conceded, just because she sounded so sad. “But I
don’t think so. It scares the hell out of me, but that’s okay.”

“You’re really scared?” she asked softly.

“I am. I’d be a fool not to be. So maybe fear means we’re still
alive. Maybe it means we haven’t given up yet.”

“Cole,” she said. Just his name, and then she was silent for a
long time. So long that Cole wondered if she’d fallen asleep. But she suddenly
pulled away, shrugging the blanket off her shoulders as she sat back. She looked
up at him with angry eyes. “Do you even like me?”

He blinked. “What? Of course I do.”

“No. No, not ‘of course.’ I know you want me. That’s not the
same thing. Sometimes the things you’ve said, or the way you touch me…”

“Grace,” he breathed. “I’m sorry. If you didn’t—”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t have. I’m saying that’s not the
way you want a woman you love, is it? A woman you like and respect? You wouldn’t
want her that way.”

He whispered her name again, stunned that she could think that.
Heartbroken that he’d made her feel that way.

“You said it yourself, that you’re not like that with other
women.”

Cole shook his head. “I’m not. You make me feel…out of control.
Wild. I thought it was the same for you.” He watched her eyes, feeling as if he
might break apart if he saw hurt in them. But he could only see himself,
reflected back in the darkness.

“It is,” she finally said, and his mortification eased back a
little. “I want you, Cole. So much. But I wonder if you only want me that way
because of what I am.”

“No,” he answered.

“Because of
who
I am.”

“Fine,” he said harshly, his pulse quick with anxiety. “It is
because of who you are. But not the way you mean. It’s because you’re beautiful
and wild and brave and strong. It’s because you seem invulnerable, but you melt
for me. It’s because I want you so damn much I feel like I need to bite down on
a belt when you’re close by. Sometimes I can’t get deep enough or close enough.
But other times…other times I want to touch you softly and you won’t let me,
Grace.”

Her cheeks went pink and she looked away. Her makeup was gone,
worn away by the day and the rain. She looked so young, as if all her defenses
had vanished.

Cole reached for her, brushing his knuckles along her cheek. He
tilted her face up, then slowly leaned closer. She didn’t pull away, and he
brushed his mouth over hers. “Let me touch you,” he breathed, trailing his
fingers down her neck. “Please.”

She shook her head, but as he dragged his fingers down to her
breast, Grace sighed into his mouth and her hands wove into his hair.

Her response ramped his arousal up toward that now-familiar
wildness. He knew she’d respond with her own wildness if he pushed her. He’d
felt the violent need shaking through her. But that wasn’t what she needed
tonight. So he touched her slow and soft, and she let him. Finally. She let him
ease the last of her clothes off. Let him kiss her everywhere he wanted, until
she was whimpering with need. And then she let him slide into her, careful and
gentle, as if she were a virgin.

She said his name and dug her nails into his back, but he
couldn’t be goaded. Not tonight. He made love to her. He touched her and let her
feel the way he wanted to take care of her. Not because she needed him, but
because she didn’t.

And in the morning, he took her home.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

“Y
OU
DON
’
T
NEED
TO
BE
HERE
,”
Cole grumbled,
pulling the brim of his hat lower as he slumped into the chair. He looked around
the doctor’s office and found it suspiciously bare. What did the guy do in here?
Just steeple his fingers and give bad news from behind his mahogany desk?

“I know I don’t need to be here,” Grace said. “I want to be
here.”

He looked over his shoulder at the closed door, impatient to
get this over with.

Grace took his hand. “It’s okay to be scared. Right? Isn’t that
what you told me?”

“It’s fine. I know what he’ll say. I won’t be able to ride
again. It’s no big deal. I’ll start classes in three weeks.”

“No big deal,” Grace repeated. “Sure. That’s why you couldn’t
sleep last night.”

He shot her an exasperated look. “You weren’t even at my place
last night.”

“I heard you pacing around after I left.”

“Maybe if you’d stayed, I wouldn’t have been pacing
around.”

She rolled her eyes, but her fingers squeezed his. She stayed
sometimes now. On the weekends, when she didn’t have to get up for work. She’d
sleep until he woke her with his hands and his mouth. He’d finally seen the
miracle of Grace waking up smiling.

“If he gives me bad news, will you dye your hair purple again
to make me feel better?”

“God, you’re being a baby.” She took any sting away by kissing
his fingers. “Anyway, you said you were getting used to the new hair.”

“It’s pretty,” he said carefully. It was. Beautiful, actually,
but he wished he’d had a little longer with the purple. “If you’ve gone soft, I
guess I’ll have to accept that.”

She might have bristled at that two weeks ago, but now he saw
her mouth tighten in a smile she tried to hide. He’d tried to show her just how
enjoyable soft could be. Not that she’d ever admit it.

The door opened behind them, and Cole’s thoughts broke off as
if they’d been chopped with an ax.

This was it. He was ready.

“All right, Mr. Rawlins.” The doctor set down a laptop and
pushed a few buttons. “I’ve taken a look at the images and the report.”

Her hand tightened in his with far more power than he would
have expected. He almost smiled at the thought. He almost forgot that he was
about to hear the worst news of his life.

The doctor frowned at the screen for a moment and then looked
up.

Cole braced himself.

“Well, everything looks great.”

A heartbeat passed. And another. Then Cole’s pulse blasted into
overdrive. “What?” he breathed.

“It’s looking good. The fracture in your pelvis has finally
started to mend. The plates in your femur will stay, of course, unless
they—”

“But I don’t understand,” Cole cut in. “I was in the saddle two
weeks ago. It felt like I was rebreaking everything all over again. I thought I
was about to split in half.”

“Well, what did you do? Ride up and down a mountain?”

“Uh…” He glanced at Grace and then back to the doctor.

“Listen, things are tender right now. The bone is still
healing, and the ligaments and muscles are all tight. You have to ease slowly
back into your old routines. I mean
slowly.
Five
minutes in the saddle on a flat trail. Do that for a few days. Then ten minutes.
You can’t just pick up where you left off. Use ibuprofen. Ice it to stop the
swelling. It might take a whole year, but you’ll be back out there. No
worries.”

No worries. He said it so simply. No worries.

Jesus.
He could ride?

“You’re keeping up with physical therapy?”

“Yes,” Cole answered, the word toneless even to his own
ear.

“All right. Three more months of that, and I think we’ll be
done with you, Mr. Rawlins. It’s been a pleasure.”

He stood to shake the man’s hand. The doctor closed his laptop
and left, but Cole just stood there, dumbfounded.

“Cole?” Grace ventured. Her hand touched his back, then slid up
to his neck. He could feel each of her fingertips as they brushed his skin.

“I can buy the ranch,” he breathed.

“You can.”

“My leg is okay. My hip…”

“It is.”

He looked down to find Grace smiling at him. And her eyes—for
once, they were clear, deep whiskey-brown and filled with hope.

“I guess you’re just a big baby, huh?”

“I guess I am,” he said hoarsely.

“I should’ve known. All that bitching about your leg, but you
didn’t have any trouble taking me up against the wall of the shower.”

“Grace!” He looked around to be sure the doctor was gone.

“What? It’s true. You have all the strength in the world when
it comes to sex.”

She was right. He was Superman out of sheer, stubborn will when
it came to making love to her.

Cole finally relaxed. And smiled. And pulled her into his arms.
“Grace.” He sighed. “Did you hear that? I can ride again.” He honestly hadn’t
expected it. He hadn’t even considered the possibility that maybe… “My God,” he
whispered into her pretty hair. “Did he really say that?”

“He did. Should we go home and celebrate?”

He blinked in shock and jerked upright. “Yes! We should,
actually. Absolutely. I insist.”

Laughing, she pulled him out of the office and down the hall.
“You should probably call Easy first. Tell him to pack his bags for Mexico. My
poor aunt will be so disappointed.”

“I think Easy can wait awhile,” he murmured, thinking of
exactly what he had planned when they got home. And what he had planned for the
rest of his future.

* * *

G
RACE
FELT
GIDDY
. True joy coursed through her. Happiness for
Cole, separate from anything she wanted for herself. It was a strange sensation.
Something she wasn’t used to. But she soaked it up, hoping that she could keep a
little part of it tucked away forever.

Cole was going to be fine. Thank God.

He drove home quickly, his mouth occasionally revealing his
happiness in a smile. She wasn’t sure if he was happy about the prognosis or
just anticipating what would happen when they got home, but it didn’t matter.
Either way, she was about to have her hands on him. His body made her feel safe,
somehow. Even when nothing else could.

But right now, she had every reason to feel safe. She had come
back to Jackson, and much to her surprise, her new friends had seemed relieved.
Even Rayleen had hugged her, though she’d then proceeded to bitch about her
apartment building being contaminated with estrogen. Admittedly, Grace had tried
to avoid Jenny, at first, and even Eve. But Eve was hard to avoid when she’d
immediately hired Grace back at the studio.

Things were okay. And now they were better.

She spread her fingers over Cole’s thigh, loving the way his
muscles flexed as he braked and accelerated. When he moved her hand away, she
laughed. “Hey!”

“I’m too excited already,” he growled.

Within seconds, he was pulling into the driveway of the Stud
Farm, and Grace was grinning in anticipation. But when she hopped out of the
truck, Cole grabbed her hand and led her toward the saloon.

“Hey! I thought we were going to celebrate.”

“Oh, we will. But I thought I saw Easy’s truck in the parking
lot.”

“Right. Okay. I’ll be patient, then.”

He grinned like a little boy. “You need to be patient, huh?
It’s hard to wait?”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, embarrassed by how much she needed
him. All the time. Every day. But it wasn’t a scary need, somehow. It wasn’t
weakness. She couldn’t understand it, but she was trying not to be afraid.

Just as they reached the saloon porch, Cole stopped. He turned
to her, and Grace felt a sudden jolt of alarm at the serious set of his
mouth.

“Cole…” she started. But then he smiled.

“Happy birthday, Grace.”

“What?” she whispered.

“Happy birthday. I thought we’d need this to cheer us up. But I
guess it’ll just be something better.”

“What?” she repeated, watching as his hand reached for the
door. “How did you know it was my birthday?” She hadn’t told him. No one even
knew her birthday except…

“Merry told me,” he said. And then he opened the door, and
there she was. Merry.

And Eve and Jenny and everyone else, all of them yelling,
“Happy birthday!” as she stared in shock.

“Merry?” she said, not believing her eyes. How could Merry be
here, when…

“Happy birthday,” Cole whispered into her ear. And then Merry
was running toward her, arms spread, and Grace couldn’t take it all in. There
were a dozen people around her. Maybe more. Rayleen and Easy and Shane and Cole
and…Merry.

Tears sprang to her eyes, and there was nothing she could do to
stop them.

“What are you doing here?” she whispered.

Merry squeezed her tighter. “Cole flew me up to surprise you.
Happy birthday, Grace.”

“Happy birthday!” the whole room shouted again.

These people who’d only known her for a month. These people who
had no reason to care.

“I love you,” Merry whispered into her ear.

Grace shook her head just as she always did. But something was
different now. Something wasn’t so scary, and she somehow found the courage to
say it back. “I love you, too,” she said quietly. Joy filled her up as she spoke
the words, so she said them again, into Merry’s ear, but this time…this time she
was looking into Cole’s eyes.

His gaze fell. His cheeks flushed. And he smiled. And Grace
knew it was the truth. She loved him. And she was finally home.

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt of
Real Men Will
by Victoria Dahl!