Close Enough to Touch (6 page)

CHAPTER FIVE

O
R
MAYBE
NOT
.

She walked around town for a while, avoiding the tourist area
for streets lined with lower-end shops, hoping to find a used sporting-goods
store where she could buy a cot. Though she finally found a store, apparently
used camping gear was in hot demand here in the summer, just outside the
boundaries of Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons. The only cot she’d found had
been way over her ten-dollar budget.

In the end, she left with a cheap camouflage sleeping bag more
suited for sleepovers than outdoor use. Fine with her. She just needed a little
padding between her and the floor.

When she got her first paycheck, maybe she’d come back for the
air mattress she’d spotted. Maybe even a folding chair. But nothing else she
wouldn’t be able to take to Vancouver when she left.

By the time she’d stopped at a grocery store for bread and
peanut butter and walked all the way back to her apartment, it was after three.
And the saloon next door was already hopping. Grace dropped her bags in the
apartment and walked over to thank Jenny.

Before she got down the front steps, the tones of an unfamiliar
ringer cut through the air. She frowned for a moment before realizing that it
was her own cheapo prepaid phone and dug it from her bag.

“Hello?” she asked with obvious suspicion.

“Grace! Oh, my God, we haven’t talked in almost a week. Are you
in Wyoming? Do you have any minutes left?”

Grace smiled as the voice of her best friend traveled from a
satellite and made her sound like she was standing right there. “Merry,” she
said in utter relief. “Yeah, I’ve got minutes. What’s up, chick?”

“What’s up? Oh, my God, tell me what’s going on! The last time
I talked to you, you had some sort of plan to go be a mountain man or something.
And I haven’t been able to get through since!”

“It’s this phone,” she said, which was only partly true.
Mostly, she’d been avoiding her best friend. “I have to keep it off or the
battery dies. I’m sorry. Everything’s good. I’m in Jackson. It’s beautiful.”

“Beautiful? Really? Where’s Grace Barrett and what have you
done with her?”

“Ha. Yes, the mountains are pretty, the people are friendly in
an almost noncreepy way, and I just got a job.”

Merry squealed. “I’m so glad! You actually sound happy!”

“Bite your tongue. But happy or not, it’s really still me. I
plan to ditch this joint in a month or so.”

“Are you coming to Dallas? Please tell me you’re coming to
Dallas.”

“Merry, we’ve discussed this. Texas is not the place for
me.”

“Oh, my God, you’re in
Wyoming,
for
godssake! And you love it, apparently. How can you dismiss Texas?”

“I don’t love it,” Grace insisted. “I just have a free place to
stay. So stop pouting.”

“I’m not pouting,” Merry said, very obviously pouting.

“You are, but it’s cute.”

“I just don’t understand why you couldn’t come live with
me.”

“I need to be in Vancouver in a few weeks,” Grace explained.
“Texas is a little out of the way. Listen, I should go—”

“No! You haven’t told me anything!”

Grace winced in guilt.

“Please tell me what happened. You were trying to get organized
so you could get work at L.A. Fashion Week. Then all of a sudden you were
leaving town.”

“Nothing happened,” she lied. “I lined up this job in Vancouver
and then my aunt offered me the apartment, so I decided there was no point
hanging around L.A. That’s it.”

“Grace.” Her flat voice made Grace’s throat burn with shame.
Merry knew it was a lie, but Grace couldn’t tell her the truth. She just
couldn’t.

“I’m good,” Grace said. “Really good.” That might be an
exaggeration, but she embraced it. “In fact, I’m on my way to a saloon to
celebrate the new job.”

That distracted Merry, as Grace had known it would. Merry loved
shiny things, and a saloon was awfully shiny. “What?” she chirped. “A saloon?
You’re lying!”

“I’m not. It’s literally next door to my apartment. There are
cowboys in it.”

“In your apartment?”

She laughed. “No, not at the moment.”

Merry missed that little hint, and Grace couldn’t help but
grin. If she knew Grace’s new neighbor was a sexy hot cowboy with thighs of
steel, Merry would squeal loud enough to break the cheap phone. Grace was going
to save that little tidbit for a day when she needed cheering up. Merry’s joy
was medicine for Grace. Something she needed to take like a vitamin when she was
feeling low.

“All right,” Merry huffed. “Go flirt with some cute cowboys for
me. But call me soon, okay? I miss you.”

Grace was smiling as she hung up. Merry had wanted Grace to
stay with her, but Grace had stayed with her twice when they’d both lived in
L.A. Accepting help once was too much. Twice was unbearable. A third time? No.
Never. She’d rather sleep in the bus station.

In fact, she
had
slept in the bus
station. But only for one night. Before that, she’d managed to find an old
friend who’d owed her a favor. Unfortunately, staying at his place had been the
worst mistake of all. He’d had an insane party, and someone had stolen her purse
and everything in it, including Scott’s money.

Why the hell had she taken it? She should’ve just walked away
with the lie that he didn’t owe her anything.

She’d really screwed herself over now. But she couldn’t tell
Merry this time. At some point, Merry would decide Grace was a loser with too
many problems who needed to be ditched.

Merry didn’t need someone like Grace hanging around, after all.
Her name actually matched her personality. She was sweet and happy and kind. And
a little awkward in a cute way. But for some reason, she loved Grace. In fact,
aside from Grandma Rose, Merry was the only person in the world who loved her,
and Grace would be damned if she’d ever do anything to damage that. Ever.

Grace tucked her phone away and walked over to the saloon. She
didn’t plan on having a drink. But Jenny offered her a celebratory shot of
tequila. And then a beer on the house.

“I can’t,” Grace protested.

“Come on. It’s not every day I find someone a job.”

Grace started to shake her head.

“And it annoys the hell out of Rayleen when I give away
beer.”

“Well, in that case.”

Jenny laughed and slid her a beer. “I’m so happy for you.”

“You don’t even know me!” Grace said, shaking her head in
exasperation.

“Of course I do. You’re Rayleen’s grandniece, Grace.”

“That’s not what I mean,” she said, but she took the beer.
“Thank you. Really.”

“Maybe sometime you can teach me how to do my makeup.”

“Your makeup is fine.”

“I never know what to do with my eyes,” she said. “My eyelids
are fat, and now that I’m getting older, they just look puffy.”

Grace laughed and shook her head, but it was the kind of thing
she heard all the time. A lot of women felt helpless about makeup. “Let me know
when you want some tips.”

“I will. I feel self-conscious around you!”

“That’s ridiculous,” Grace said, and she meant it. She was the
one who always felt self-conscious. Not about her looks. She wasn’t pretty, but
she didn’t mind. She did what she could to make sure people knew who she was
before they even approached her. She wanted them to know that she wasn’t like
other girls, so they wouldn’t be surprised by that. She wasn’t soft or sweet or
comforting, especially these days. She didn’t know how to be taken care of, much
less how to take care of others. She took care of herself. She always had.

No matter what the cost, apparently.

When her thoughts veered back to L.A., Grace gulped down half
her beer. She didn’t want to think about that. She didn’t want to, but how could
she avoid it?

The truths she’d known about herself, the few things she’d been
proud of… She’d thrown all that away.

No, that wasn’t right. She hadn’t even been strong enough to
throw them away. She’d just dropped them, let them scatter in the wind. Her
pride, her strength, the weapons she’d armed herself with every single day of
her life. All the success she’d carved out of this world through blood, sweat
and tears—she’d given that up.

Grace Barrett, a girl who’d never needed anyone…she’d let
herself need
him.

The worst part was, she’d be in the exact same place right now
if she’d left him on her own terms. She’d have nothing and no one, just as she
did now. But she’d also have her pride. And everything she’d ever believed about
herself.

She’d have that.

Now she had less than nothing. Now she didn’t even know who she
was. She certainly wasn’t the tough, kick-ass girl who wouldn’t take shit from
anyone. She’d taken plenty of shit from Scott. She’d put her head down and kept
her mouth shut, and she’d taken it. And on top of everything, she’d been reduced
to living on the edge again. Just like when she’d been sixteen.

One stupid mistake on top of all those others, and ten years of
progress had vanished in a snap.

Fuck.

Her beer wasn’t quite finished, but Grace was. She stood,
meaning to rush out, but as she turned, her head swam as though the floor was
tilting beneath her. “Oh,” she breathed, reaching toward the large shoulder that
entered her blurry vision.

“Careful, darlin’,” a deep voice said.

“Sorry. I…” She blinked and her vision cleared. And there was
Cole, smiling at her, his eyes shaded by an honest-to-goodness cowboy hat. Or
maybe all cowboys looked alike.

“Grace? You okay?”

Yeah, it was definitely him. She jerked her hand away and stood
straight. “I’m fine.”

“More than fine, I’d say.”

“I’m not drunk! I only had one beer.” And a tequila shot.

“It’s the altitude. You’ve got to be careful.”

“I’m fine,” she protested, even though she wasn’t sure. She did
feel awfully tipsy. Maybe it was the altitude. Or maybe it was that she hadn’t
eaten anything since breakfast. Or had a drink in weeks.

Damn. She was drunk.

“You look great,” Cole said, his eyes traveling quickly down
her body.

She was suddenly glad she was wearing her heeled boots. They
gave her four extra inches of leg. But what did that matter? She wasn’t trying
to impress this man.

Then she had a sudden flashback to that morning. To looking at
herself in the mirror and seeing the mascara under her eyes and her hair
standing up in clumps. Oh, my God. “This morning,” she stammered. “I didn’t
realize…”

A man cleared his throat from somewhere close by. “This
morning, huh?” he said.

She shot a glare at the man who now stood at Cole’s shoulder.
His mouth was serious, but his eyes tilted up a little in subtle amusement. She
was opening her mouth to tell him to fuck off, when Cole interrupted.

“Grace, this is Shane. He lives upstairs. Shane, this is Grace.
Our new neighbor.”

“Oh!” His brown eyes widened. “Pleased to meet you. I heard
there was a woman amongst us. Welcome.”

“Thank you,” she said stiffly, still prepared not to like
him.

Cole elbowed his friend. Hard. “Apologize. You pissed her off
with your stupid attempt to be funny.”

“Sorry,” Shane said, touching the brim of his hat. “I’m an
idiot.”

He grimaced so sincerely that Grace almost laughed. Almost. But
she didn’t want him to think he was off the hook.

“So what were you saying about this morning?” Cole continued.
“Something about how the breakfast was spectacular, but the company far
surpassed it?”

“No, I…” She looked from him to his friend and narrowed her
eyes.

Shane put up his hands. “All right, I know when I’m not wanted.
I’ll be over here. Out of firing range.”

She watched him walk away, and suddenly Cole’s voice was in her
ear. “I think he’s scared of you.”

She turned and felt his chin brush her hair before he drew
back. “He should be scared of me. So should you.”

“Yeah? How come? The purple hair?” He carefully reached up and
rubbed a lock of her hair between his thumb and finger, then withdrew before she
could knock his hand away.

“No.”

“The black suede pants?”

“They’re not suede, they’re just brushed to look… No. Not that
either.”

He leaned closer again, and she felt very alone with him
beneath the shadow of his hat. “Is it the way you look like you could punch me
and enjoy it? Or the way your dark eyes get even darker when you’re really
mad?”

Grace inhaled sharply at the husky appreciation in his words.
She thought she might have swayed closer and hoped it was only the beer
affecting her vision. “No, I…I just meant that if you weren’t nice I’d come by
and hang out in the morning again.”

“And why would I be scared of that, Miss Grace?”

Yeah, his voice was definitely husky. And she was definitely
swaying. Damn those drinks. She cleared her throat and stood as straight as she
could. “You should be scared because of how I looked this morning.”

“You looked fine. Cute.”

“Cute? You’ve got to be fu—”

“Cole!” Jenny’s voice called from behind her. “You look tired.
Want the usual, babe?”

“Thanks, Jenny,” he said, his smile widening when he looked
past Grace’s shoulder. It was just the moment she needed to escape the pull of
his low voice and warm smile. And the intimacy of looking up at him under the
shadow of his hat. Secret cowboy trick, probably.

Had she actually been succumbing to the flirtations of a
cowboy?
Wow. Altitude, indeed.

She steeled her spine. “Anyway, I’ll see you around, all
right?”

“Hey, where are you going? I was about to buy you a drink.”

“After you just warned me to take it easy?”

A moment of male confusion flashed over his face, but he
recovered quickly. “A soda then. Or just some water. It’s important to drink
lots of water here or you’ll get headaches.”