Closer Than They Appear (11 page)

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THE RECIPES

Ten of my most popular vegetarian recipes, inspired by Harper and just in time for CSA season. (They are most popular with me and my imaginary friend Geraldine.) Big T means tablespoon, little t means teaspoon. It’s fun to have a secret code together, isn’t it?

Unstuffed Grape Leaves

Serves 6-8

This recipe, adapted from
Vegetarian Times,
is perfect if, like me, you love stuffed grape leaves but you’re too lazy to make them and too cheap to buy them. Since I live in a city that will not carry brined grape leaves except under penalty of death, I substitute kale—but feel free to use whatever fresh greens are available (spinach, collards, beet tops, etc.) If you can find brined grape leaves, by all means use them, since that
would
be in keeping with the title of this recipe. I make the entire dish in my Dutch oven, which I cannot say without giggling like mad.

1 bunch kale, stemmed and roughly chopped

2 T extra-virgin olive oil

1 large onion, finely diced (2 cups)

1 cup brown rice

2 cups low-sodium tomato juice

1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley

1/2 cup chopped fresh mint

1 cup dried currants

1 cup blanched almonds, chopped

1/3 cup capers

1/4 cup lemon juice

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Heat the oil in your Dutch oven (heehee), and sauté the onion until soft and beginning to get brown and crispy on the edges. Add the rice and 2.5 cups of water—bring to a boil, then lower heat to med-low, cover, and simmer for 35 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in tomato juice, almonds, parsley, mint, currants, capers, kale, and lemon juice. Season with salt and pepper. It’ll be a bit sloppy, but half an hour in the oven (covered) will firm things up. I like to drizzle mine with balsamic glaze. Then, do the Mexican Hat Dance and enjoy!

Jamaican Jerk Chili

Serves 10-12

We have a dear friend who throws an annual ChiliFest party. This was my 2006 contribution; the instructions are like a little time capsule from the night.

One 14.5 oz can of diced tomatoes

Two 14.5 oz cans kidney beans, rinsed & drained

One 14.5 oz can tomato sauce (can substitute spaghetti sauce)

1 pound red potatoes, diced

1 large onion, diced

8 oz. extra-firm tofu, diced

1 T brown sugar

1 T Jamaican Jerk seasoning

2 T red wine vinegar

1/2 cup water.

Combine all ingredients in a crock pot and cook on "high" for about 4 hours, or until you've drunk much more than you should have and begin to accost a fellow partygoer because he looks like David Cross. Later, continue to express your amazement that he doesn't know who David Cross is. Call it a crime. Fail to realize that you're being completely annoying. Wander around, interrupting random conversations. Tell some people about your book (or children; this is an acceptable substitute). Make yourself another drink and rescue the little dogs placed high on a desk by children you don't know. Watch a cute adopted child learn to do the rock n' roll devil's horns with his hands for the very first time. Laugh at this and say, "Aawww!" Finish your drink and pour yourself some red wine. Check on friend who is vomiting on the gnomes from the front porch. Now, you're done! Time for some chili.

Loaded Miso Soup

Serves 4-6

This is such a perfect soup to make when you have a cold. The shiitakes, miso, garlic, ginger, bok choy—all of these ingredients love to kick some viral butt. So the minute you notice that scratchy feeling in the back of your throat, get those wheat berries soaking!

1/2 cup wheat berries

2 T organic canola oil or extra-virgin olive oil

1-2 cups shiitake mushrooms, stemmed and thinly sliced

10 cloves garlic, minced (I know! We are going to sti-
ink
, but it will be worth it)

1/2 to 1 T grated fresh ginger (depending on your taste; my husband is not a fan, so we use less)

1/2 cup rice vinegar

6 cups vegetable broth

2 baby bok choy heads, diced

1/2 cup edamame, rhymes with Mommy

1/2 cup (They call me mellow) yellow miso

Day one:
Dress the wheat berries in tiny bikinis and give them a relaxing overnight soak in a big bowl of water. (Ah, isn’t that lovely? It’s spa day for grains!)

Day two:
When you’re ready to roll, heat the oil in a 2 quart minimum stock pot over medium heat; add your shiitakes and sauté until they start to get a bit crispy on the edges (5- 8 minutes). Add the garlic & ginger and sauté for another minute. Add vinegar and simmer until it nearly evaporates, scraping brown bits up from the bottom of the pan, because who doesn’t enjoy a good, crunchy brown bit? Drain wheat berries and add to mushrooms, along with veggie broth, arame, edamame, and one cup water. If you find any other ingredients in your kitchen that rhyme with arame and edamame, add those, too. (Not really.) Simmer 20 minutes and add bok choy. Simmer another 5 minutes and remove from heat before the bok choy goes from a bright green to a muddy one. Gently stir in miso until it blooms. Isn’t that fun? Top with your favorite things: diced green onion, a few squirts of Sriracha, more rice wine vinegar, a few drops of toasted sesame oil, brown paper packages tied up with string (again, not really) … and kick the shiitake out of that virus!

General Tsalmost’s Tofu

Serves 4

Like the take-out version, but without the apocalyptic remorse afterward. First, a note on tofu. I always buy extra-firm water-packed tofu. Never, ever buy firm tofu in the shelf-stable aseptic boxes, unless you actually like milk-flavored Jell-O. That stuff’s really better-suited for puddings, pie fillings, spackle, or alienating meat-loving friends and family. I like extra-firm Westsoy Organic tofu in the blue package.

Unsolicited tip:
When you get your tofu home from the grocery store, throw the entire unopened package right in the freezer. Once it’s thawed, slice the whole package in half and gently squeeze the extra water out. So much easier than pressing between plates, which is about as tedious as preparing your own taxes.

My favorite way to prep tofu for stir-frying is to first shake it in a sealed, plastic Ziploc bag of cornstarch—maybe 1/2 cup—completely coating the cubes (“It’s Shake ’n Bake, and I helped!”). Sift the excess cornstarch from the cubes in a colander over the sink, unless you like fried blots of cornstarch. I get about 2 tablespoons of coconut oil nice and hot in the wok, and then stir-fry the starchy tofu cubes until they’re golden. Remove with a slotted spoon or spatula and let those crispy little babies rest on some paper towels while you get to the veggies.

If your tofu sticks to the wok like crazy, try using your non-stick electric skillet.

The Usual Suspects

1 package extra-firm tofu, cut into 1 inch cubes and dusted in cornstarch per the directions above—BUT add 1 teaspoon Chinese five-spice powder to the bag before shaking. That’s the secret ingredient.

2 + 1 T oil (coconut, extra-virgin olive, or canola—chef’s choice!)

5 cups broccoli florets (from 2 good-sized heads)

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 cup brown rice, cooked according to package directions

The Sauce

1/2 cup water

1 clove garlic, minced

2 T tomato paste

1 T tamari or soy sauce

1 T rice vinegar

1 T hoisin sauce

1 T chili-garlic sauce

1 T sugar

1 t toasted dark sesame oil

1 t cornstarch

You’ll want to start cooking the rice about 30 minutes prior to prepping the rest of the ingredients, so everything is finished together. Whisk the sauce ingredients together and set aside while you heat the oil in your wok or skillet. Stir-fry the cornstarch-coated tofu until golden on all sides. Take it out of the game and bench it for a few minutes on some folded paper towels. If the wok is dry, add another tablespoon of oil; wait a minute (until the oil is nice and hot), and add the broccoli florets—stir-fry for a minute or two. Add 2 tablespoons water (Whooo, steam!) and the 2 cloves minced garlic, and keep stir-frying until the broccoli is bright green but still crispy. Return your tofu to the pan, pour in your sauce, give it a few tosses until the sauce starts to thicken, and serve over rice. General Tso would be proud.

Here’s another unsolicited and hopefully not-annoying tip:
if you feel guilty throwing away the broccoli stalks (I know I do), take a vegetable peeler to them to remove the tough outer rind; what remains can be sliced into mild, crunchy rounds that taste a little like a delicate rutabaga. Delicate rutabaga, you ask? You know, bullied badly in childhood, grew up to be a sensitive artist who rescues animals, falls in love far too easily, cried at the end of
Frankenweenie
.

Curried Chickpea Salad Sandwiches

Serves 4

The Westfield’s (and my) favorite sandwich filling.

1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

2 T cranberries

1 rib celery, quartered lengthwise and diced

3 green onions, ends trimmed and diced

1/4 cup Greek yogurt

1/4 cup mayo (I like Vegenaise)

2 t capers

1 T Dijon mustard

1 T red wine vinegar

1 t Worcestershire sauce

1 t curry powder

1 T finely shredded, unsweetened coconut (optional)

6 finely diced kalamata olives (optional)

8 slices of your favorite whole-grain bread

Mixed greens

Give the chickpeas and cranberries a quick whirl in the food processor, pulsing just until chunky. Dump into a large mixing bowl and add all of the remaining ingredients (up to the curry powder). Stir until well-blended and add salt and pepper to taste. In fact, go a little crazy on your taste buds if you feel the urge; love tangy? Add the olives! Need more subtle sweetness? Add the shredded coconut and another dash of curry powder. Like spice? Add a dash of cayenne pepper. Have some fun. Let your hair down. But not near the bowl.

Divvy mixture equally between the bread and top with a handful of mixed greens (do I really need to tell you how to assemble a sandwich?) Poke each sandwich with tiny toothpicks that have little British flags. This is not optional.

My Version of That Yummy Bean and Corn Salsa Everyone Brings to Picnics

Serves: Oh, I don’t know, depends how piggish everyone is.

Anytime I bring this to a potluck, I field numerous requests for the recipe. So I present to you, dear readers:
My Version of That Yummy Bean and Corn Salsa Everyone Brings to Picnics
.
Delicious with Tostitos Scoops and cabana boys named Gustavo.

The Players

2 cans black beans, rinsed and drained

1.5 cup frozen sweet corn kernels

2 medium tomatoes, diced

1 orange bell pepper, diced

1 red bell pepper, diced

1/2 medium red onion, diced

3 green onions, chopped (thought you might be tired of “dicing” by now)

2 ripe but firm avocados, diced (again with the dicing)

The Brine

2/3 cup fresh lime juice

1/2 cup olive oil

4 large cloves garlic, minced (smaller than a dice!)

1 t salt

1/8 t cayenne pepper

dash cumin

In salad bowl, combine beans, corn, tomatoes, avocado, bell pepper, and onions. Toss gently until the mixture resembles a Benetton ad from the eighties.

In a small jar with tight-fitting lid: Mix lime juice, olive oil, garlic, salt, and spices. Cover and shake until everyone’s getting along swimmingly.

Introduce the brine to the players. Refrigerate overnight, bring to the party, peel off the cover to release a garlic-scented cloud, sit back, drink a margarita, scratch a mosquito bite, and collect the compliments like trading cards. Pretend to be modest, and tell them Jess Riley sent you.

Spicy Peanut Noodles

Serves 4

Spicy Peanut Noodles…oh, how I love thee. You’ve got some prep work ahead of you, but it’s all worth it.

2/3 box whole-wheat linguini (because have you
seen
the price of buckwheat soba noodles lately?)

1 cup kale, de-stemmed and chopped (Hey, look! More kale!)

1 cup carrots, cut into strips or grated

Julienned red pepper

1 small bunch scallions, thinly sliced

12 ounces edamame (an encore appearance!)

1/2 cup peanut butter

2 cloves of garlic, crushed and chopped

1/2 T fresh ginger, minced

1/8 cup fresh lime juice + ½ T lime zest

1/8 cup soy sauce or tamari

2 T honey, molasses, or maple syrup

a pinch of cayenne pepper (optional)

Toasted sesame oil (optional, to taste)

1/4 cup – 1/2 cup warm water, to thin

Boil the noodles per package instructions. In the last two minutes or so of cooking toss in the kale and edamame. Drain everything in a colander and run under cold water for about a minute to stop cooking, and set aside.

Combine peanut butter, garlic, ginger, lime juice, lime zest, soy sauce, honey and cayenne pepper in a medium bowl. Thin with warm water – the amount of water you’ll need depends on the consistency you want.

Gently toss the noodles, kale, edamame, carrots, pepper, scallions and tofu with a big splash of the sauce. Add more sauce a bit at a time, until the salad is dressed to your liking, reserving any extra for another use. Taste, season with sesame oil, ground pepper, sea salt, and Sriracha if you like. Serve warm or at room temperature.