Closer Than They Appear (12 page)

BOOK: Closer Than They Appear
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Be warned that the noodles are like little sponges, soaking up the dressing; if it sits long enough, you end up with a lump of pasty, peanutty ropes, which as Alton Brown might say, is horribly
bad
eats. So if you bring it to a potluck, give the pasta/kale/edamame a light toss in a tablespoon of toasted sesame oil so it doesn’t stick, and bring the dressing separately—mix just before serving.

Nostalgia Risotto

Serves about 6

 

This is my take on a dish I enjoyed at a funky Milwaukee restaurant in the winter of 2007. They showed black and white movies on the walls and I was with a tableful of old, dear friends. I was crushed to learn the restaurant closed a few years later, but I still remember it fondly when I make this dish.

 

3 cups low-sodium vegetable broth

1/3 cup prepared pesto, divided

1 cup onion, diced

1 1/2 cups Arborio rice

3 cups cubed butternut squash

Shredded parmesan cheese

Freshly ground black pepper

1/4 diced sun-dried tomatoes packed in olive oil

White truffle oil (a worthy splurge)

1 cup fresh shiitake mushrooms, sliced

 

Bring broth plus 2 cups water to a boil in large saucepan; turn off heat.

 

Heat 2 tablespoons Pesto in another saucepan over medium heat. I know, I’m getting all of your pans dirty. Sorry about that. Add onion and mushrooms, and sauté 5 minutes. Stir in rice, followed by 1/2 cup hot broth (about one ladleful). When rice has absorbed broth, add another ladleful. Continue adding broth and stirring in this manner for about 5 minutes.

 

Stir in squash, and season with salt and pepper. Resume adding broth, one ladle at a time, until rice has absorbed all liquid. This should take about 15 minutes. Poke a few pieces of squash with a fork; if still too al dente, put the cover on for a few minutes to steam the whole pan.

 

Remove from heat, and stir in remaining pesto and chopped sun-dried tomatoes. Spoon risotto into bowls and top with shredded parmesan cheese and a drizzle of truffle oil. THAT is what makes this dish, kiddos. If you need me, I’ll be paging through old photo albums, getting misty-eyed.

Massaged Kale Salad (You knew it was coming.)

Serves 4

 

Oh my God, are you sick of kale yet? Your insides aren’t! Keep eating it. Here’s a good way.

 

1 large bunch kale, stemmed and chopped. You can julienne it if you’re in the mood, or make the pieces somewhat larger if that’s your preference.
Decisions, decisions
.

1/8 cup tahini

2 heaping T nutritional yeast

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 T soy sauce

Juice from one lemon (at room temperature and given a few firm rolls on the counter before slicing, to boost your juice)

1 T toasted sesame oil

 

Here’s where it gets wild. Optional mix-ins:

1/2 can diced water chestnuts

1/4 cup golden raisins

1/4 cup toasted almond slivers or pepitas (I love that word)

1/2 cup diced yellow or red pepper

Baked teriyaki tofu, cubed

1 T finely diced shallot

Sprinkle of smoked black sesame seeds

 

First, let’s make the dressing. In a small food processor, mix the tahini, nutritional yeast, garlic, soy, lemon juice, and sesame oil. Thin with a bit of warm water if needed, for a creamy consistency. Pour the dressing over your chopped kale, roll up your sleeves, and start massaging it into the leaves. It feels wrong, but it isn’t. And! You’ll be happy to know this massage comes with a happy ending, when you add the optional mix-ins.

 

If you don’t have tahini, you can substitute a whole avocado, but the tahini adds such a fun nutty component. It’s like hanging out with your favorite crazy aunt. Nutritional yeast also amps up the nutty factor, with a whinge of cheese. It’s loaded with B12, which you’ll need to supplement with if you’re cutting out most animal products. A bit pricey, but a canister will last a while. I love to sprinkle nutritional yeast on my popcorn, along with garlic salt and malt vinegar and hot sauce. Apparently, I’m a fan of canker sores.

Spiced Sweet Potatoes and Black Beans

Serves 4-6

 

I found this in my recipe binder with a giant
YUM
!
scribbled next to it, and an arrow pointing to the title. So how could I not include it?

 

2 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped into 1” chunks

1 medium red onion, thickly diced into 1” chunks

1 + 1/2 T extra-virgin olive oil

1 can drained & rinsed black beans

1/2 T maple syrup

3 T fresh lime juice

1 T Dijon mustard

2 t fresh thyme

1 t cumin

1 t smoked paprika

1 T adobo or chipotle sauce

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 T Extra-virgin olive oil

 

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Toss the sweet potato chunks with 1 tablespoon olive oil and spread on the parchment; bake for 25 minutes. Toss the red onion with the remaining 1/2 tablespoon olive oil and set aside. When the timer rings (or dings or buzzes or whatever it does), give the sweet potatoes a toss and evenly scatter the red onion in their midst. Return to the oven for another 20 minutes. While the potato and onions are baking, whisk together the maple syrup, lime juice, mustard, thyme, cumin, paprika, and adobo/chipotle sauce. In a small saucepan, heat 1 tablespoon olive oil and sauté the minced garlic for about 2 minutes. Add the dressing and black beans; stir gently to mix, and remove from heat. In a big bowl, combine the beans & dressing mixture with the sweet potatoes and onions.

 

To serve as a salad, scoop a few spoonfuls over a bed of arugula and add 2 tablespoons toasted walnut pieces and 2 tablespoons crumbled queso fresco or goat cheese. My posture straightens and my skin feels clearer just thinking about eating this.

 

Or, roll it up in a burrito with some greens. Or spread it on some naan bread. Or serve it on a bowlful of quinoa or rice. It’s a versatile little sweetheart of a dish. There’s really no wrong way to eat it, except through a straw or baked in a cake.

FESTIVAL BINGO

But wait, as they say in infomercials, there’s more! I’ve also included five templates for Festival Bingo, which has been field-tested and expert-approved by a panel of intoxicated, judgmental friends. Just kidding, they’re not judgmental. They’re all much nicer than me, because who was the one who came up with Festival Bingo and handed them out just as we all walked into the festival in question? You got it. This jerkwad, right here, typing this sentence.

 

Patent basically pending. If you want to buy your very own laminated set of eight bingo cards plus stickers, email me (
[email protected]
). If there’s enough interest, I’ll make it happen.

Heartfelt Thanks

Big thank-yous are overdue to my first line of literary defense: December Gephart, Mary Hennessy, Nicole Waltemath, Wanda Manning, Nikki Kallio, and as always, Jason Riley. I am also grateful to my Pretty Aunt Julia, my parents, and my sister for inspiration. I will thank my brother also, so he doesn’t feel left out.

Table of Contents

A Note from Me, the Author

PART ONE

Harper
Zach
Harper
Zach
Harper
Zach
Harper
Zach
Harper

PART TWO

Zach
Harper

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