Coffee Sonata (20 page)

Vivian watched Mike come closer and eventually kneel next to her. She tipped her head back and tried to make out Mike’s expression in the flickering light from the fireplace. With blurred vision and dry eyes, it was impossible to gauge Mike’s feelings. Her words had made them pretty clear, though.

“I may live to regret this,” Vivian managed, and she could hear how strangled she sounded. Her voice coach would have her head if she heard her straining her vocal cords that way. “But, damn it, I can’t resist you.”

Vivian knew, as soon as the words passed her lips, that she’d taken yet another step toward utter darkness.
Mike will be mine—for a moment. One precious moment in time.
Vivian realized she could have no regrets, yet she was filled with remorse when she heard the hunger in Mike’s voice.

“How long?” Mike leaned closer. “Do you have a rough estimate?”

“What do you mean?”
Yes, I’m stalling.

“How long before you decide you don’t need me anymore?”

Vivian’s heart hurt as it constricted in her chest. “I…I can’t imagine how…” Her voice broke.
I always want to feel the way you make me feel. You take my pain away.
She cursed at herself for being so single-minded and selfish as she reached up and cupped Mike’s chin. “
Cara
.”

“You know the price,” Mike said, her eyes narrowing. “I promised I’d be there for you, and I will. I just can’t lie or let false pride stand in my way. The way you affect me…I have no defense against it.” She moved closer, and Vivian’s hand slid up the length of her neck, ending in Mike’s hair.

“You mesmerize me.” That Mike found her attractive amazed her. “I don’t know how long it’ll be…but I will cherish every moment.”

“So will I.” The words sounded pained as Mike lowered herself to half lie down next to Vivian. “I never thought I’d chance this again and certainly not…like this.”

Vivian let her hand remain around the back of Mike’s head and laced her fingers through her hair. Mike’s scent engulfed her and her own breasts felt heavier. Small flutters startled her as they appeared along the insides of her thighs. She had never felt this vulnerable and open, or frightened.

Vivian didn’t really think this relationship was possible. Mike was young and beautiful, with a bright future. She wasn’t going to grieve over Vivian. Her throat constricted again and she pulled Mike into her arms. The thought of losing this new feeling, so right, so exciting, was unbearable. A deep sob escaped, and Vivian felt Mike’s arms tighten around her.

“Vivian. Don’t cry. I’m not going anywhere. Not until you tell me to.” Mike pressed her lips to Vivian’s temple. “Just let me hold you.” Maneuvering until she was stretched out next to Vivian, she raised her hands and smoothed Vivian’s hair.

“I can still see you well enough to see how beautiful you are,” Vivian breathed. “I’ll never know what you see in me.”

“You will, in time.” Mike wrapped her arms tighter.

“Perhaps.” Vivian turned her face up. “Kiss me?”

Mike didn’t move at first. Vivian held her breath as she waited for Mike to help her create the magic that made her forget everything else. Tenderly, Mike brushed her lips against Vivian’s, over and over, until the moment was all that mattered.

Vivian parted her lips and placed both hands around Mike’s cheeks, to caress and, possibly, to hold her in place. She waited for Mike’s tongue to enter her mouth and then buried her hands again in her hair.

Mike, in turn, ran a hand down Vivian’s side, and the touch ignited a series of small bonfires along her nerve endings. Her satin shirt didn’t diminish the sensation of Mike’s touch, and Vivian could feel her breasts tighten. She gasped into Mike’s mouth as her head spun.

“What are you doing to me?” she managed, tearing her lips from Mike’s.

“Showing you.”

Vivian tried to focus through the haze. “Showing me what?”

“What you’ll give up, once you let me go. This.” She placed a trail of moist open kisses down along Vivian’s neck. “And this.” She leaned down, and Vivian felt small nibbles along her mouth and opened it with a moan of surrender.

“Oh…” She arched her back and captured Mike’s lips. Vivian pulled the woman in her arms closer and deepened the kiss. Mike tasted fresh, new, and young, like an elixir. Half aware she was losing control, Vivian caressed Mike’s back and whimpered into the kisses.

*

Mike ached, and yet it was impossible to stop the kisses. Vivian’s supple body cushioned her toned frame. Full breasts pressed into her, and she had to force herself not to reach in between their bodies and touch them. Instead she reached for Vivian’s left hand and placed it on her hip. “Hold on to me,” she whispered against Vivian’s lips. “I need you to hold on to me.”

Vivian obeyed and grasped Mike.

Mike felt how Vivian shivered against her. “Are you cold?” Mike teased.

“Hot.”

“Yeah, very hot. Vivi…” Mike’s voice lowered into a growl. “Blistering.” Unable to resist the more intimate touches anymore, Mike wedged a hand in between them and placed it on one of Vivian’s breasts. The hardening nipple pushed at her palm through the fabric, and Mike shuddered as this sensation sent new surges of arousal through her. The ache between her legs was only surpassed by the pain in her chest as she gasped out loud.

Vivian froze. Her eyes opened, and she stared at Mike for long seconds without saying anything.

Mike became still as well. She thought she saw an echo of her own excitement in Vivian’s eyes, but an inner voice nagged her.
Perhaps this is more than she bargained for. She may have wanted only a few romantic kisses and nothing more. A straight woman. I should’ve known better.

“Mike—”

“I’m sorry.” Mike sat up, her entire body aching from the loss of connection. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why?”

Mike didn’t know what to say. She didn’t see any fear in Vivian’s eyes. “It was too soon, and I don’t know if it should’ve happened at all.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Vivian said. Her eyes darkened with obvious pain. “Unless you weren’t ready for how a body older than your own feels.”

“No!” Dismayed, Mike shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I was trying to remember that you haven’t been touched like that by a woman before. I was trying to be—”

“Considerate?” Vivian pushed up on her elbow and reached for Mike. “I see. Why not lie down here with me and just relax? We both need to calm down…for now.”

Mike was confused. Vivian was handling the situation much better than she was. Slowly she relaxed, slid down next to Vivian again, and they shifted into a comfortable position. Mike pushed an arm underneath Vivian’s neck and tucked her into the crook of her arm. The enticing feminine curves sent tingles along her skin and created goose bumps along her arms and legs.

“Better?”

“Yes. Better.” Mike forced herself to relax, and to her surprise her breathing quickly slowed down and her heart stopped pounding. She was still turned on, but the flame had mellowed and Vivian’s body felt more familiar. Now her protective side reasserted itself. With her free hand she smoothed down Vivian’s wrinkled shirt. “We’re moving too fast.”

“I agree. I just don’t know how to slow down. Or if I want to.” Vivian paused and kissed the top of Mike’s head. “
Cara
, I don’t know if I should.”

“Be with me?” Mike flinched.

“No. Slow down.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t have a lot of time.”

“In other words, you’re going to leave once you decide where to and when.”

“There will come a time for us to part, yes,” she said in a low voice. Vivian’s arms tightened around Mike. “I can’t say exactly when, but it might be sooner than we imagine. I don’t want to lose any time alone with you. I don’t want any regrets.”

“You sure you won’t regret being physical with me?” Mike forced her voice to sound casual, even if her heart ached with every painful beat. “You’ve lived a straight existence up till now.”

“I’m sure. And I’m equally sure that I’ll regret if I’m
not
with you, in any way possible, before…” Vivian quieted and pressed her lips against Mike’s temple.

“All right.” Mike pulled Vivian closer and returned the embrace by placing a kiss in the opening of her collar. “Then, I’m yours. For now.”

Vivian’s voice sounded slightly hollow. “For now.”

*

First kiss? Ever?
Eryn stared at Manon’s reddening cheeks and her gray eyes that radiated so many unspoken feelings. “First ever?”

“Yes.” Manon looked ready to bail.

“But you’ve been with men. You said so.”

“Yes, I have.”

“I see.” Slowly the truth dawned on Eryn, and her respect for Manon grew. “You didn’t want to share the intimacy of a kiss with a man, did you?”

“Exactly,” Manon murmured. “I had sex with them and tried to find pleasure in the way they…touched me. Don’t get me wrong, it was enjoyable enough with the two young men I dated at Harvard—”

“What about the third man?” Eryn wasn’t ashamed of asking.

Manon recoiled. “He…it was all right.”

Eryn narrowed her eyes and scrutinized Manon. “You’re not telling the truth.”

“I don’t want to talk about Garrison.”

The name rang a bell and Eryn wracked her brain to remember why. “Garrison, as in Garrison Hollingsworth?” The image of the unfathomably wealthy playboy appeared in her mind. He was New England’s most eligible bachelor before he married and moved to Seattle a year earlier. “You were with him?”

“For a while.” Manon sounded far beyond cold, and Eryn watched as she scooted sideways to reach for her briefcase.

“He was rumored to have a glass or two too many,” Eryn said. “Was that what you meant when you said he ‘didn’t adhere to the arrangement’?”

“Whoever started those stories wasn’t wrong. And yes, that’s what I meant.”

Eryn knew she had to tread lightly. “Did he become unpleasant when he drank?”

“A little embarrassing, perhaps, but I could handle that.”

“Then what was it?”

Manon dragged a hand through her hair. “He drove while under the influence.”

It took Eryn a few seconds to see the connection. “And you lost your brother to a drunk driver.”

“Yes.” Manon rose to her feet in one fluid motion and held the briefcase in both arms in front of her. “I have to go now. Thank you for the coffee.”

“Manon, don’t run off. Not like this. We haven’t had time to…” Eryn got up as well. Her knees oddly weak, she steadied herself against the counter.

“I really have to go.” Manon’s features hardened. “I have a bunch of case files to read, and it’s getting late.”

“Please, stay.” Eryn knew if they didn’t clear the air, Manon would continue to dodge her and Eryn wouldn’t get a second chance. “Read your files here. Just don’t leave like this.”

A brief hesitation. “You seem adamant.”

“I am.” Eryn swallowed, her throat dry. “I don’t want you to leave here in anger or regret. And I have an apple pie that my sister made for me sitting in the fridge. I can pop it into the oven…”

Manon took a step toward the doorway, then hesitated. “Can we at least sit on something a little more comfortable than your kitchen floor?” she said. “I have papers to browse through, and if you insist I stay awhile—”

“The couch should do it. You can pull the coffee table closer. Look.” Eryn felt her cheeks warm at her eager tone and pointed in the direction of her living room. “It’s an old couch, but it was my aunt’s and it’s very comfortable.”
Damn, I sound like a freakin’ idiot. Babbling on like this.

Manon held on to her briefcase and sat down. “Very comfy.” She nodded. “Oh, I forgot my mug.”

“I’ll get it for you.”
I need to get a grip here. It’s only her. Manon. Only? Nothing “only” about her. I’m in so much trouble here, but I can’t let her know.
Eryn turned on the oven and picked up their mugs. After she placed them on the coffee table and took a step back, her chest constricted at what she saw.

Manon had opened her briefcase and taken out two thick folders. She now reached up behind her and pulled out her hairpins. Her shiny hair fell in waves around her shoulders, and Eryn wanted to fill her hands with the rich softness of the fragrant strands and bury her face in it. Manon smelled of something sweet, slightly musky, with a tinge of chocolate. As Eryn inhaled the scent soundlessly, she remembered how it felt to hold Manon close.
She’s perfect for me. And perfectly able to break my heart.

Unable to merely relax, Eryn walked over to the small den next to her bedroom and picked up her guitar and a mother-of-pearl plectrum. Bringing them back to the living room, she sat in an armchair in front of the unlit fireplace. She didn’t plug the guitar into its amplifier; instead she began to pick out the chords to one of her favorite Faith Hill songs.

As always, the music wrapped itself around her, like armor against the world, and she forgot the stress she’d felt lately. She didn’t hum the lyrics like she usually did, but she put every emotion into the muted sound of the guitar. After a while she looked up, feeling much calmer, and saw Manon sitting slumped back on the couch, her documents still in their folders on her lap. Eryn stopped playing. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just—”