Cold-Blooded Beautiful (29 page)

Foot heavy on the pedal, green blur of wintery trees pass the sides of my vision, but I see nothing, nothing but Kade. 

Then we’re home.  Time is tangible. I can feel it still around us, letting us live in the moment, and hell, and we both deserved it.

Without a word, he exits the car and quickly moves around his truck, warm hand against the small of my back, just where my coat meets my waist. His fingers touch skin, and they’re like fire.  Singeing and scarring, his touch burns into my flesh, rewriting, rewiring, reviving, and relentlessly, redefining everything I ever knew that was violent, savage, and vicious.  Turning all my bruises to blushes, and all my scars to strength.

Epilogue

February – Two years later.

I scanned the crowded room and sighed happily as I eyed my husband sitting next to me in his tuxedo.  Kade and I sat in Los Angeles’s Dolby Theatre, surrounded by the most profound and talented artists in Hollywood.  Kade’s book about my abduction and torture,
Savage Heart
, was turned into a movie for which he wrote the screenplay.  It was the hardest thing he’d ever written, his labor of love, but we did it together, side-by-side, with our therapist on call.   There were days that it felt like we were tearing each other’s hearts out, a pure and primal pain.  Sometimes, we fought frantically, blamed each other, cried, and vomited out everything dark and evil.  Other times, our sadness took control and left us empty and full of despair.  Yet, we wrote, together.  We healed together.  We were intense, raw and passionate, twisted, dark and
forever
.

 To no one’s surprise, but Kade’s, his screenplay was nominated for
The Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay
at the awards ceremony.  He clutched the armrests, still uncomfortable in a big crowd, but we were there together, facing everyone, and that was all that mattered.

“I wonder if we could find any empty closets in this place.  I bet I could make you stop choking the seats if I could get you alone for a few minutes,” I whispered, seductively into his ear. 

His stormy eyes locked on mine and his hands let go of the chair and reached for mine.  Interlocking our fingers together, he softly caressed the dark tattoo I had gotten encircled around my left ring finger.  My tattooed wedding band that was the identical twin to his. We forwent the flimsy, easily discarded golden ones once we were married.  What we had was intense and permanent, painful and beautiful all at once.

Will we ever fully heal from what we both endured in our pasts?  Who is to say?  Living one day at a time and doing the best you can is all that you could ever be in control of.  Kade still has nightmares sometimes, as do I.  Some featuring Thomas, others with David, and I’m still the calm in his storm, and he’s turned out to be mine. 

As they called his name for his award, he smiled.  Muscles tight, jaw flexing, his strength and courage showing through as he faced a fear and ignored its taunt.  I
knew
he would win. After all, the movie was brilliant, the writing perfect.  There was never a doubt in my mind.  Kade Grayson was not a man ever to be doubted.   Yet, I was surprised when he walked up to the stage, long sexy masculine strides, accepted the award, then the microphone,
and
began to speak. 

Kade
speaking
in front of an audience, and not thrusting his middle finger at the crowd of people cheering him on? 
Un-freaking-believable
.  And boy, did they cheer him on; they
stood up and cheered him on
, all of them. 
All
the big names in Hollywood stood up for him and applauded, every single one of them.  In my heart, I knew it wasn’t just because he wrote that screenplay. God no, it was because of what he’d been through, what I’d been through, and how we saved each other.  They were applauding our courage, our strength, our
fuck you to the haters
, and our love.

As the crowd slowly quieted down and the hush of heart pounding, nerve-wracking anticipation filled the large room, the dark brooding expression he always wore on his face transformed into a smile.  He stood at the podium for a moment and took it all in, and then he glanced over the crowd quickly and found my eyes, and I watched him let out a breath of relief.  He astonished me.  It was breathtaking to see how this man had grown, how the both of us had.

Then his deep voice filled the speakers, echoing across the great sea of people, and grabbed hold of my heart.  As always, he grabbed hold of my heart.

“Thank you. Thank you all so bloody much. However, there’s truly only one person who deserves my utmost respect and gratitude.  My beautiful wife, Samantha.”  His eyes were on mine.  Sparkling.  Shining.  Heating.  Coiling.

 “People think that compared to men, women are the more vulnerable of the sexes.  I think that’s a huge bloody fallacy.  When men become damaged, they usually stay broken and beaten, and they wait for someone else to put them back together.  Women are the ones that pick up all the pieces, set them all up and seal up the holes. They heal.  And, my God, did she build me up whole again.  I would not be up here today, if it wasn’t for her, I don’t even think I’d be breathing today, if it wasn’t for her.  So, thank you, Sam, for loving me, staying here and bloody fighting for me, and believing that I could be
more
.  Thank you for showing me what courage and strength look like, and what compassion and love feel like.”  He held up the award and nodded to the crowd, but I knew I was still the only face he saw. “And, thank you Academy for this award. It’s a pittance though, compared to who I have waking up next to me every morning.  She’s all the reward I’d ever need in this life.”

He motioned for me to walk up on stage with him and I did.  Of course, I did. Kade and I were a team, so I’d be by his side everywhere.  When I reached him, he leaned into me, both hands grasping hold of my face, thumbs pressed hotly into my cheeks, and kissed me.  His body unraveled and loosened, and he breathed me in deeply.  The crowd erupted in mayhem.  Cheers, whistles, screams, and a standing ovation.  He waved blindly to the crowd and pulled me off stage in caveman Kade style. 

The night continued with after parties that, of course, Kade declined.  Right after we stepped foot backstage, he whisked me out of the back door to a waiting car headed to the airport.  He just wanted to be on the next flight home.  So did I, because tonight, with Dylan and Jen’s help, I planned a huge celebration for him at the bar, which included a private performance from my favorite band, just for this occasion.

“There’s a really
pretty guy
singing on my brother’s stage,” he eyed me suspiciously, as we walked inside the bar.  A round of cheers and clapping exploded when everybody noticed we had walked in, and an explosion of streamers and confetti were thrown in Kade’s direction.  “Ah, yes.  This looks like just as much fun as bloody root canal, yeah?  We’re staying fifteen minutes, and then we leave.  I have another party planned.”

“Oh, do you now?  Who will be in attendance at this party of yours?”

“Me, you, and an empty house.  I’m going to fuck you in every damn room.”

“Let’s make it ten minutes and you got yourself a deal,” I said as I leaned on my tippy toes and kissed his lips.  He growled against my lips. 

Jen and Dylan call us over to the bar and give us a beer each, as the band’s song ends.  The tattooed lead singer taps on the microphone, and I swear the entire audience of women sigh, as he chuckled into it.

“That man is just so…I mean just look…” Jen stuttered.

“Yeah, love, he’s almost as good looking as me, yeah?” Dylan teased next to her. 

Before the singer began to speak, a pair of red lacy panties flew across the room, landing at his feet.

Kade laughed next to me, “What the bloody hell?  He’s not that bloody good looking, is he?  How do you know this band, Sam?  You know them personally?”

“The two singers were once patients in my trauma unit.  They were in a motorcycle collision.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Hey, how’s everybody doing tonight?  We’re here tonight for a very special woman, Doctor Samantha Grayson, who once saved both me and my wife’s life.  We’re here to celebrate Kade Grayson’s award!  Let’s motherfucking party!”

“Babe, I’m having that specifically violent jealousy fantasy where I’m killing him with my bare hands.  Are you sure he was just your patient.”

Jen giggled as I winked at Kade and walked away.    A slow rock ballad started, and I went to start my rounds of hello
and goodbye
, because we seriously only had like three more minutes.  I wanted to leave just as quickly as Kade.  Nights alone were far and few between for us. 

I listened to the music, the beat and heavy rhythm of the sounds and I felt Kade’s eyes watch me. 
I should go around and just thank everyone for coming and then we could
… 
All my thoughts
completely faded when I looked up and noticed Kade’s dark stare.  I heard myself gasp when I saw him. The air just sort of sucked itself right out of my lungs.  No one ever watched me like Kade did.  It was personal.  Intimate.  My cheeks heated, when his lips curled into a sexy smirk of a smile. It was animalistic and primal.  Hot-as-hell; it made me tingle with a damp warmth between my thighs and against the silken material of my panties.  I started to fan myself a bit with one of the bar’s laminated menus.  I loved this game we played.  Every night, like the first night we met.  I never knew…I never knew what it felt like to be truly loved and desired, until I met Kade.  I felt
wanted
.  Desired.  Hungered for. 
Lusted
.  Preyed on.  I fanned myself faster.

He was leaning back against the red velvet of the booth chair, dressed in his tuxedo.  His inky black hair wildly arranged on his head.  His
face
…all hard angles. A jaw carved out of stone, strong cheekbones and full perfect lips.   He wore his strength on his expression, dark, passionate, and profound.

I stared back at him too, holding his gaze, which made my senses, all of them, kick into overdrive.  The exchange was maddening and arousing, and like nothing I’d ever felt before Kade, primal and visceral in texture.  It was purely mouthwatering.

“Hey, Sam?  Mum still watching the kids tonight?” Dylan’s voice broke through the beginning sequence of my pornographic thoughts.

“Huh?  Oh, yes.  Your mother said she’d look after them, take them for ice cream and stuff.  Give me and Kade some time alone to celebrate.”

Jen and Dylan laughed as they both looked back and forth between Kade and I.  “Looks like you two are starting your staring foreplay right now.  So, yeah, we’ll see you guys tomorrow, huh?”

My eyes were still locked on Kade’s.  “Uh huh.”

And the music softy drifted to my ears.

What have we found

A diamond in the rough

What have we lived

To know we’ve had enough

You’re what I craved

When the loneliness takes hold

You’re what I need

To waken up my soul

You’re what makes it all beautiful

You’re the one that makes it worth the fight

You’re the one that took my wrong

And make them all turn right

Side by Side

Don’t wanna do it on my own

Together, together

With you I’ll never be alone

You make it all beautiful

You make it worth the fight

You make it all beautiful

You make it worth the fight

The bloody song fades into background noise.  I was sitting at my usual table, texting Mum to see if the kids were behaving.  Yes, bloody hell, I’m a dad.  It’s the best bloody thing I ever did.  As soon as we were married and I was cleared of any suspicions concerning the
self-defense
killing of that monster, Samantha and I adopted three children, who also suffered abuse at the hands of the ones they loved.  The first of our little ones was Sophia, who was seven, and she came to us neglected and so undernourished, she only weighted forty-eight pounds.  Our second was five-year old Toby, who was witness to the bloody murder of his sisters and mother by the hands of his father.  And lastly, there’s my little Sunshine, with hair as bright as the blazing sun.  She’s three, but was abandoned and left at a hospital when she was only a few days old.  Because of what David did to Sam, doctor’s told her she’d never be able to have children of her own, to which she laughed at the man and said, “Oh, I’ll be a mom, and I will have children of my own, maybe just not through birthing them.”  I think my wife plans to save all the children she can find who suffered as we have, and show them what love and family truly is.  And, you bloody know what?  I love her more for that, so much more.  My mum texts back that all the children are tucked away in bed at her new house, a few miles away from ours, and to enjoy our night alone, when a small fluid movement caught my eye.  Backlit as she stood in front of the illuminated bar, I had a perfect view of her silhouette. Deep cinnamon hair tumbled wildly over her creamy white neck, falling to her tiny waist as if it were liquid silk.  Petite, yet voluptuous, with soft curves that had me instantly thinking about sinking inside deeply, and riding her hard.  On one side of her face, her long hair was pinned back with a soft lilac ribbon that made her look indecently innocent.  Shiny waves were cascading down from the little clip and fell around her face, framing soft porcelain features.  She wore a familiar emotion on her face that I knew all too well,
haunted
.  The plain raw intelligence of her face was utterly breathtaking, and for the first time in my life, I couldn’t find the correct adjectives to describe something.  No mere words would have done her natural beauty justice, or could have described the way she moved.