Command Performance (28 page)

That very thought haunted him, day and night. “God, this is so hard,” he groaned. “I can’t make her love me. She doesn’t want to. She won’t even talk to me.”

“You have to find a way. You have to figure out why she doesn’t want to love you, and then explain in irrefutable terms why she’s wrong.”

“Maybe we aren’t meant to be together. You know, like you and me.”

“Jesus Christ.” Satya yanked him around in a violent circle. “Listen to me, Darwin. I think you—and her—somehow completely lost sight of who you are. It’s understandable, with the way you began. But I think you need to take a long look at those old photos of you together, and think for a long time about why you let each other go, and then I think you need to fucking get honest with each other, for God’s sake. Really honest, before you run out of time.”

Satya always laid it on the line. He smiled at her, feeling wistful for simpler times, less responsibility. Feeling grateful for his friend and her sharp, sage tongue. “You’re so beautiful today, and I’m so lucky you’re my friend. You’re an amazing person.”

“So are you, you sap.” As the song drew to a close, she clasped his face between her hands and fixed him with her potent amber gaze. “Just be yourself, show her yourself. You’re so wonderful. You’ve grown up, you’ve tasted true love. I promise you, honesty will save you. Both of you. But you have to go to her. Someone has to swallow their pride first, and it might as well be you.”

With that, Satya’s new husband came and stole her away. Mason wondered if she’d told him she and Mason used to be fuckbuddies. Probably not, because Rob was being really pleasant to him. As the couple swept off to greet other guests, Mason slunk back to the table to join his friends. The whole group was laughing at little Rhiannon’s antics as she chased after a handsome young party guest. She looked adorable in her fluffy pink dress, her hair done up in curls.

Jeremy pointed her out to Mason as he joined them. “What is it with women and weddings?”

Nell shook her head. “She’s only five. They grow up so fast.”

“Young love,” Kai chuckled. “It’s not serious.”

“I hope not.” Jeremy eyed the young boy’s carrot top and his own daughter’s bright red locks. “Their kids would have some obnoxious hair.”

“Nothing wrong with redheads,” Nell said, poking her husband in the chest.

Rhiannon came running up, eyes wide and shining. “Mommy, Daddy, I’m in love.” She gasped the word
love
, drew it out on a sigh.

“With who, sweetheart?” Jeremy asked.

The little girl frowned. “I don’t know his name. Hold on.” She was off again in a swish of princess skirts.

Kai looked over at Mason. “How are you holding up, brother?”

“It’s a great wedding. I like Dr. Rob and Satya together. They throw a nice party, that’s for sure,” he added, gesturing around the packed ballroom.

Kai glanced toward Satya. “Maybe someday I’ll be able to get the image of you and my sister out of my head.”

Mason swallowed hard. “You knew?”

“She spilled everything last night in a drunken confession. A private one, thankfully.” He shrugged. “If you’d ever done anything to hurt her, I would have wiped the floor with you. But you were good for each other, I guess.”

“No. He’s good for her,” Mason said with a nod at Dr. Rob. “I’m not good for anyone.”

Kai and Constance exchanged somber glances. Oh, Jesus. He didn’t want to be that guy, the pathetic, lovelorn loser at the wedding. He needed another drink.

Rhiannon swung by and yelled out, “His name is Keats!”

She swung back around and chased Keats under a table, holding him down for a clumsy kiss.

“She’s her father’s daughter, I’m afraid.” Nell laughed. “Poor little boy doesn’t have a chance.” Keats ran away to find security in the arms of his mom and dad, who looked over at their table with a smile and wave.

Constance signed, and Kai translated. “She says it’s wonderful, how open children are with their emotions. They’re never afraid to go after what they want.”

“Rhiannon never has been,” said Jeremy.

“She’s her father’s daughter,” Nell repeated. “Like I said.”

Mason only half listened to the banter of his friends.
What if she falls in love with someone else?
If little Rhiannon Gray could go after what she wanted so fearlessly, why couldn’t he too?

What was he waiting for? He didn’t need a drink. He needed a goddamn plane ticket.

He took Constance’s hand and squeezed it, then turned to Kai. “Will you tell Satya I had to go? She’ll understand why. I don’t think she’ll be mad at me.”

Kai shook his head with a faint smile. “No, she won’t be mad.”

They all stared as he downed a gulp of Kai’s drink and then turned resolutely toward the door. “Is he going where I think he’s going?” he heard Nell ask.

“Let’s hope so,” Kai answered. “Go get her, Mace.”

The paparazzi picked up his trail at the airport, so hordes of cameras were waiting when he touched down in L.A. A cavalcade followed him all the way to Miri’s father’s house, but Mason was too intent to behave with circumspection. He stalked up the sidewalk right in front of them and pounded on the door. He could hear the
click, click, click
of cameras at his back.
Take pictures of me, motherfuckers. I don’t care.

Peter Durand cracked the door and yelled, “She’s not here.”

“Bullshit.” Mason pushed her father back and went in. “Where is she?”

Peter was so drunk Mason could smell it coming out of his pores. The old man’s eyes were bleary and he appeared puffy even though he’d lost weight. Mason wasn’t a good enough person to feel sympathy for him, not when he was so caught up in his own emotions. He was going to win Miri back, today, before he left this house. He was going to make everything all right again. He loved her, that was all that mattered. “Miri!” he yelled. “Where is she?” he asked Peter again. “I need to talk to her, and if she’s not here I’ll sit and wait for her until she gets back.”

“I’m here.”

Mason turned and there she was at the top of the stairs, in jeans and a clinging red shirt that showed every angle of—Jesus fucking Christ.

All the joy, all the affectionate things he’d planned to say died in his throat, replaced with brutal shock. She was pregnant. Not extremely, but pregnant enough for him to see it. She put a hand over the bump and stared back at him without a word of explanation.

“My God,” he finally spluttered. “What— When— Why didn’t you tell me?” He forced the words out, angst twisting his gut. “When exactly were you going to tell me?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t want it to get out. For your sake.”

“For my sake?” He repeated her stupidly. “How did you hide it this long?”

“No one cares about me now that you’re out of my life. And baggy coats cover a lot.”

He eyed the curve of her waist. “They wouldn’t have covered you much longer.”

Her dad shuffled away, mumbling under his breath. Miri sighed and rubbed her eyes. “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call?”

“Call? You haven’t taken my calls in weeks.” He gawked at her, blood whooshing in his ears. “It’s mine, isn’t it? Or have you been busier than I thought?”

Her lips tightened, the only sign of emotion. “It’s not an ‘it,’ it’s a she. Yes, she’s yours.”

A girl. Holy God. “How— How long? Jesus, Miri, what the fuck?”

“Six months. It must have happened back in November, right before we broke up. I thought about things and decided… Well, I decided I’d rather raise her without you. Without your help.”

“Without my...? What?” He couldn’t speak. He literally couldn’t produce words. “I just... I can’t understand why you didn’t tell me.”

For the first time, some glimmer of guilt crossed her stoic face. “You weren’t here. You were busy and I didn’t want to… I was going to raise her somewhere more private, and I knew you wouldn’t—”

“Raise her where?”

“Somewhere. Somewhere far away from L.A., somewhere quieter. The thing is, I don’t want her growing up, you know...in your world.”

“What the hell? What world are you talking about? We both live in the same goddamn world, Miri!”

She moved down the stairs toward him, looking more beautiful than ever, even with her swollen waistline and her frown. “You know what world I’m talking about. Your celebrity world. I’m not subjecting this baby to the crowds and paparazzi. I’m not doing the baby-bodyguard thing to this child. To my own daughter. I’m not.”

Helpless fury blurred his vision. “I can’t believe this. I seriously can’t wrap my mind around this. You were going to move away somewhere? Go somewhere and hide from me and raise my daughter without even telling me she existed?”

She blanched at the rising anger in his voice. “Yes. I guess that was the plan. Not to hide from you though. We broke up, remember?”

“Jesus Christ, Miri. Are you insane?”

“I thought by the time she was born you would have moved on with your life. You’re so busy, and if we’re not going to be together... You said yourself that your children’s lives would be fucked to hell.”

Oh, she wasn’t using his words against him, not now. “You can’t keep her from me just because I’m a celebrity.” He stalked her into the living room. “What if I don’t want her raised in
your
world, where people don’t have the common fucking decency to tell someone he’s fathered a child? Would you ever have told me? Do you know what they’ll say in the tabloids about this?”

Miri’s face contorted in anger. “You and the goddamn tabloids! I’m so done worrying about your PR problems. I’ve been driving to a doctor an hour away, sneaking in and out of her office to avoid being found out. What about my pregnancy problem? This is all your fault.”

“My fault? Sex takes two, baby. And you were supposed to be on the pill.”

“I was. But being your fiancée stressed me out so bad I started taking these goddamn herbs to feel better. The doctor said they messed up my hormones or the birth control pills or something.” She waved a hand. “Whatever. Either way, they failed and now I’m fucking pregnant and none of this would have happened if not for your stupid PR scheme in the first place!”

“Now, Mason— Miri—” her father yelled from the door of the living room.

“Get out, daddy,” Miri said. “This is for us to settle.”

Peter pointed at him. “You get out. You’ve done enough to ruin my daughter’s life.”

Mason scowled. “Oh, that’s funny, coming from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Daddy, just get out,” Miri pleaded. “Go lay down or something.”

Peter turned and left with a muttered curse. Mason turned to her. “Wow, he looks rough. You have to get help for him, you know. You can’t just tell him to go lay down, like he’s a dog or something.”

Tears shone in her eyes. “How dare you? How dare you bust into my house and tell me I need to fix my problems when you—when
you
are the cause of so many of them?”

“
I’m
the cause? You left me, I didn’t leave you. I would have stayed and helped you. To this day, I would do anything to help you, and all I got for it was a stake in the heart. Jesus, Miri,” he said again, gesturing at her belly.

“I’m not letting her grow up in Hollywood, in the spotlight, as your celebrity daughter. No.”

“And how do you propose to keep that from happening? Everyone will know this baby is mine.”

“Now they will, now that you’ve barged in here trailing paparazzi. Why didn’t you come in the back door?”

Mason snorted. “I’ve got news for you. There are paparazzi at the back door too.”

She wrapped her arms around the baby. Around
his
baby girl. “Forget it, Miri,” he said. “You’re not taking my daughter away from me. No fucking way.”

“How’s it going to work then?” she asked. “I won’t let her grow up being followed around by photographers, mobbed like Jessamine’s baby girl. I don’t want them snapping pictures of her on the way to school, at the playground when she’s playing with her friends, when she’s having a meltdown at the grocery store. If she’s raised as your daughter, she won’t be able to ride her bike outside, or play in the backyard, or do anything without some stone-faced bodyguard at her side. I don’t want that for her!”

He buried his head in his hands. “There won’t be anything you can do about it.”

“There is something I can do. I can go away, go into hiding. Grammy is...” Miri’s lips trembled. “She’s getting worse. When she’s gone, me and my dad are going to move somewhere in the middle of nowhere, to some small town where people will leave us alone.”

“And what will you do there in this small town paradise?” Mason asked, his rage making him nasty. “Flip burgers? Get a job down at the Gas N Go?”

“I’ll get a job, yes. A real job. Not acting.”

“Acting is a real job.”

“For you, maybe.”

He stared at her belly. That was his baby growing inside her. He still hadn’t managed to wrap his mind around it, but he knew he couldn’t let his baby—or Miri—disappear from his life. He didn’t want to be the one left behind, abandoned and alone.

Miri’s face softened. “I’m sorry. I thought it would be kinder not to tell you. We can’t raise this baby together. I won’t do that to her. I’m just trying to protect her.”

“Protect her from me, her own father?” Mason shook his head. “You’ll protect her so much you’ll smother her, just like your father did to you. To protect you from the sins of poor Aunt Maddy,” he added bitterly.

“You leave Miri’s sister out of this!” Her father was back again, blustering and slurring his words.

Mason glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, and drunk grandpa over there will be happy to help you raise her, I’m sure. He’ll be a much more positive influence than a few damn paparazzi hiding in the bushes.”

“Daddy!” Miri screamed.

Mason felt sharp slicing pain in his left shoulder. He looked down to see his shirt gashed open, red blooming over the white of his sleeve. “Jesus Christ.” He touched the spreading pool of heat in a daze. “He stabbed me.”

Miri ran past him, grabbing the knife away from her father. “Daddy, are you crazy?”