Common Sense Doesn't Become Me (27 page)

I grabbed Snickerdoodles in her cat carrier,
which, by the way, she was still sleeping soundly, and followed my
baby sister into her house. She motioned her finger to be quiet. I
sat Snickerdoodle down next to the couch where it looked like Ron
had already made up a bed for me for the night. I guess tonight I
would not be sleeping with the girls. I might wake them up getting
in this late, and no one wants to deal with six-year twin girls
super excited that their famous aunt was here to see them. At least
in their eyes, I was famous as a golden globe actress and the only
thing they know about me and the media is that I report Hollywood
news. They have not been allowed near a TV since all of this
started. They think I am here to see them, which I prefer it this
way.

I squatted down to open Snickerdoodle's
carrier and figured by morning, she will wake me up with her fluffy
white tail in my face like she does every morning when she wants to
be fed. I set my flip-flops by the makeshift bed and laid down
thinking it felt safe and comforting to be home. That was the last
thing I remembered.

Chapter Three

The soft hush toned voices brought me slowly
awake. There before me were two short blurry figures of angels.
Their soft brown hair in big curls with some kind of light
radiating behind them gave them a glow reflection from behind. One
of them spoke up first. "I think she looks better with the blue eye
shadow." Then I heard. "If you say so." Then the first one spoke
again. "I do say so. I am the first born, and I know better." That
was Lilly, gently referred to as Lil. May then walked away as Lil
shouted over her shoulder. "You better agree with me or else."

I rubbed my eyes and sat up on the couch. I
saw a glimpse of Ron run by after kissing my baby sister Claire and
a quick 'good to have you home Julie. See you tonight.' Then he was
gone. The next thing I know a gallon size coffee with cream and
sugar, appeared in my vision, being offered from my sister.

"Julie. Good morning princess. Rise and
shine. Girls made you toast. Grape Jelly is their specialty. I hate
to do this to you but in all the craziness and rush to go get you,
the girls are off from school today. Some teacher workday. I 'HAVE'
to go to work today. Got a deal to close. You might want to wash
off your face before you go anywhere. You were out cold while they
played dress up on your face with their doll makeup. I've got some
killer makeup remover in my bathroom that will get that tar off.
Mom called early this morning. They will be here by Sunday for the
homecoming BBQ for you. Don't argue. It's all about you princess.
Don't let the girls turn on the TV. You're still on local news.
There's a G movie playing at the theatre. I suggest you hide out
there or the library with the girls today. I'll leave you the
minivan." Just on cue, a car's horn honked from outside. Claire
leaned in and kissed my forehead like I was one of her little
girls, and then she hugged and kissed the girls asking them nicely
to go easy on their aunt Julie. Then she was gone.

The coffee hadn't made it to my lips before a
plate of grape jelly toast was shoved into my face, and two very
curious little girls wanted to know if I brought them a present
from Hollywood. I wanted to cry and then laugh, but instead I
hugged them both for a soothing effect on my body. I ate their
toast, gulped the coffee down my sister gave me and told them if
they let me take a quick shower that I would take them to the
library after I unloaded my suitcases from the minivan.

One very fast shower later, because I knew
that taking time to shave my legs could only mean two little
six-year-old girls could find trouble. I came out of the shower and
wrapped my sister's pink robe around me to find Snickerdoodles
being loved on. My smaller suitcases wide open in the front room
and two coon dogs barking like crazy through the glass sliding door
at the white fluffy hairball in the girls lap.

"Aunt Julie we got your suitcases for you.
You have a lot of makeup and jewelry." As May turned to me, I
noticed that they were wearing my jewelry and makeup. Not the cheap
doll or dress up stuff they were used to. I knew that I was going
to have to find a way to keep that from them.

My first mistake, I spoke to May first. "May
darling, you look quite lovely in the gold beads. Lil, I am really
digging the feather clips in your hair. Who is your hair dresser
and where did she get them?"

No reply from Lil. May came up, and took my
hand with her sweet adorable tiny hand and led me outside to the
minivan. "Aunt Julie. Mom should have warned you. You have to talk
to Lil first. She's in one of her moods." One of her moods coming
out of a six-year olds mouth sounds seriously hilarious. It sounded
like my sister at that age talking about me.

"I'm sorry. I forgot. Your mom did tell me,
but I guess I have to practice at this."

The minivan was wide open. My two larger pink
suitcases look liked they had been pushed or pulled out of the back
and plopped on the driveway behind the van. Those two suitcases
were packed heavy, and I was glad neither girl hurt herself when
getting them out. I grabbed my suitcase and righted it, so I could
use the pull handle and wheels to roll it inside.

"So tell me May. What do I do to make it
right with Lil?"

"First, tell her you're sorry. Tell her she's
first born. Give her a gift. You do have gifts for us?" She said it
so hopeful I could not disappoint her with the fact that gifts were
the last thing on my mind when I left LA, and if it wasn't for the
Bubba run in at Stop-N-Go, I might have thought to grab something
there. I knew I had a few sample cosmetics that I got not too long
ago and had not opened the gift box it came in. Those would have to
do for now as I was sure those were tossed in my suitcase at the
last minute.

May opened the screen door for me and Lil sat
there looking hurt. "Lil, Aunt Julie is sorry. I brought you a
present." She dropped Snickerdoodles, who amazingly always landed
on all fours. Wish I could land on my feet with such grace. Then
Lil rushed over and tried to help me with my suitcase, but it was
too heavy.

"Lil I need to carry this myself. I need
about half hour to unpack if you two could just keep an eye on
Snickerdoodle and watch some Dora; I can find where I put your
gifts. Ok."

Reluctantly, the two twins pushed a Dora DVD
into the player and sat on the couch with Snickerdoodles between
them.

As I walked back out to get my other suitcase
and shut the minivan back door hatch, my mind instantly went to
Bubba. Somehow, I had been able to keep him tucked away nicely in
the recesses of my mind the entire time I was in LA. But not last
night after I saw him, not in my sleep last night, and for some
reason, he had this strange power over me. Now he was all I could
think about, besides the baby growing in me. I thought how this
could be my minivan, and Bubba could play daddy. I thought about
the way he used to kiss me at the boondock when everyone else was
around on a high school party night. He would kiss me like I was
the only one there. I thought of how he could look at me for a
split second, and I would capture that look of desire in my mind
and keep it with me all day long. Back then, I wanted to save
myself for a real man, a prince charming to sweep me off my feet.
After seeing Bubba last night looking as real as a real man gets, I
wanted him to sweep me off my feet.

I rolled my suitcase to their bedroom and
stopped in the doorway in shock. Pink bubblegum explosion
everywhere with bits of purple and yellow, lots of netting and lace
and not much floor space, drawer space and the tiniest bed for
sleeping. I had to get my wits about me soon. Maybe think about
staying at my parents place even though I had never lived well
under the roof of my parents. They were strict Baptist and I was,
as Claire would put it, the drama princess.

I found the bed that wasn't trundled and
lifted my suitcase up. I quickly found the two cosmetic boxes
filled with sample products and set them off to the side. I looked
through the girl's dresser and found that only one small drawer was
available. However, since the other trundle bed wasn't set up yet,
I might be able to fit my smaller of the two larger suitcases
underneath. Otherwise, it was looking like the garage for my
luggage, and I wasn't thrilled about that.

Claire and Ron bought this tiny ranch because
the rest of the land was what they always dreamed of living on. A
two bedroom, two-bath ranch with a single-car garage and a huge
barn was a standard living here. I just didn't see me living here
long.

I pulled a few casual clothes out of my
larger suitcase, along with three choices of 'I'm too sexy' clothes
for the BBQ. If there was a chance Bubba was coming, I was going to
look hot, no - hot and sexy.

Twenty minutes later, I had two little girls
just dying to try on all the makeup. A sleepy Snickerdoodles
already snuggled on the bed I would be sleeping on. I took
advantage of their makeup fixation and went to style my hair. I
applied my makeup using my sister's tiny one sink bathroom. I had
no idea how she lived like this.

Pink low cut top, VS denim short shorts and a
pair of white wedge sandals and I was good to go to the library
with the girls. As I walked out of the bathroom, I was shocked to
see how pretty - uh hum - the girls made up faces looked. "Ready to
go to the library ladies?"

Lil spoke up first. "Mom never lets us go out
in public with makeup on Aunt Julie." At this rate, we would never
make it there or to the movie. I grabbed the minivan keys, my
purse, and a pair of sunglasses that screamed 'in disguise'. I
motioned for the girls to follow and hollered over my shoulder.
"Well ladies, that is one benefit to hanging with Aunt Julie, you
get to wear whatever you like."

A full minute of giggles later and we were
loaded up into the minivan with Christian kid songs blaring through
the rocking stereo system. A little part of me really enjoyed this
time with the girls, but another part of me knew this life in
'Bama' as Bubba would say, is far different than I got accustomed
to back in LA.

We rocked the library. We strolled in like
three queen divas. We took over the comfortable reading circle. We
picked up books, movies and the girls made me get my own library
card.

Back in the minivan two hours later, it was
past lunch, and I was accustomed to forgoing food for the sake of
my waistline but the two little girls arguing in the backseat were
not. "Where to for lunch?" I shouted over the music to the
backseat.

May spoke up first. "I want a hamburger."
Then Lil chimed in. "Well I want a cheeseburger." Then May argued.
"You don't like cheeseburgers. You're just saying that because I
said hamburger." "Nut uh." "Are too." "Am not." "Are too."

"Girls. Please. Aunt Julie doesn't do this
very well." I pulled into the first fast-food place I could find
and grabbed a twenty out of my wallet. "Here girls. You run on in
and get what you want. I need to make a phone call, and then I'll
be in."

Lil grabbed my hand. "Aunt Julie. You can't
send us in alone. Stranger danger."

Oh gosh. What was I thinking? I had a million
things on my mind. "Right."

One very sticky table later in the play area
of the fast food and two well fed girls; we decided that maybe
saving the movie for another day would be best. May suggested we
clean out their mom's minivan at the colored carwash. And for once,
Lil agreed. I had no idea what a colored carwash was, but I knew I
was about to find out.

From a window inside, we watched several
young adults wash the car with multicolored magical soap bubbles.
Then when they rinsed with a pink colored water, I was fascinated.
They finally rinsed with clear water, and then we got to watch them
dry the van off. I had ordered the multi deluxe package and asked
that they bagged up all the trash and leave it inside in the back,
seeing as my sister was notorious for tossing receipts on her car
floor and then would go looking for them later. I didn't want to be
held responsible for a tossed receipt.

Being home less than twenty-four hours
brought back a world of memories. Good and bad. Bubba was the
first. He was both, good and bad memories. However, the more I
thought of the way he looked, tan, muscular, rugged and a bit older
looking than the high school boy I left behind. I got all soft
inside with warm fuzzy feelings about Bubba. Then I remembered
Bubba represented the fact that I would never have had the chance
at stardom if I stayed with him. Thinking back, I probably caused a
ruckus with him just to keep my options open for LA. At the time,
it seemed reasonable, but not after seeing him at the Stop-N-Go
that I had internal doubts about if I made the wrong choice and
should have stood by the man I loved.

Being here with my twin nieces made me
realize that I was aunt material with a possibility for mom but did
I want to go it alone? Thinking about Colton's offer to my sister
made me smile. I wasn't in love with Colton like Bubba, but he was
easy on the eyes. I hadn't been in love with Crispin or Mr.
Hollywood, but that hadn't kept me from sleeping with them.
Although in the two minutes, Mr. Hollywood and I were together, we
didn't sleep. We just inserted slot A into slot B, grunted,
adjusted with the toilet seat stall and held on to the metal walls
more than each other. I could still remember the way he checked
himself in the mirror before he left, like he had scored another
one.

I wasn't exactly excited about my options at
the moment, but I knew I had enough cash to get by for a few
months, but selling my condo was just going to have to happen. Even
if I did go back, I doubted I would have the type of paycheck I had
before.

As for my parents, I was sure that having a
sweet tea with Mrs. Champ, Bubba's mom, was just her way of
preparing me for what my momma was about to bring to the table.
They were due home in a few days, and Claire's planned welcome back
BBQ was on the same day. I figured the sooner I had that sweet tea
with Mrs. Champ, the better off I was.