Competing With the Star (Star #2) (13 page)

“Why did this have to happen?” I asked.

“I don’t know. But if your friendship with Simone is important to you then you might have to forgive her and try to move on from it.”

“But what about my friendship with him? He and I were a lot closer than I was with her. I could tell him anything. He didn’t judge me or ever make me feel awkward. Like he said, we were best friends.”

She shrugged. “Young love is hard to keep going sometimes. That’s how it was for me. Boys are fleeting, girls stick around.”

I went home feeling more confused than ever. I realized I had left my phone on my bed and went upstairs to check my messages. Simone and Nick had both called. Nick had also left a message and a text asking me to call him back and telling me he loved me. She sent a text saying she didn’t know why he was trying to blame everything on her. What was I supposed to do now?

Chapter Eighteen

My alarm went off and I pulled the covers over my head. Maybe I could pretend to be sick to buy myself a day off from school. I hadn’t missed any school at all this semester and just one day would give me time to collect my thoughts…or at the very least keep me from having to face people at school.

I checked my phone and Pilar had texted asking if I was okay.

Me: I think I’m going to tell my parents I’m sick today.

Pilar: No, it’ll all be there for you to face tomorrow and it won’t be any easier. Plus, that gives Simone an extra day to get everyone on her side. Trust me. Come to school. I’ll have your back. Promise.

That surprised me, but I wrote back that I’d come to school.

Pilar: Good. Now put on something cute and show that idiot what he’s missing.

I put on a black, pink, and white short dress over jeans and spent time on my hair. I did loose curls with a big barreled curling iron and took extra time with my makeup. Sure I wasn’t a big TV star, but at least I showed I wasn’t sitting in my room crying. Although I didn’t use any eye makeup in case I did, in fact, cry.

I came downstairs and Dad looked up, surprised. “You have a presentation at school?” he asked.

“No. Why?”

“Well, you look all dressed up.”

“
Too
dressed up?”

He laughed. “No, I guess it’s just a dress over jeans—I’m used to you girls running around in sweatshirts and ponytails. You look nice, kiddo. Have a good day.”

I put on my coat and went to meet Charlotte at the corner and Asia was there waiting.

“Hey, you okay?” she asked.

“Not even close.”

“Listen, I don’t know what to tell you, but even if he did kiss her back, she never should have kissed him,” Asia said.

“So she did kiss him first?” I asked.

Asia shifted from side to side. “She’s my best friend, but…yeah, it sounds like it. She keeps saying she doesn’t remember who kissed who first, but then she says, ‘He kissed me back.’ I mean, that makes it sound like she initiated it, you know?”

Charlotte came up then. “Asia, what would you do if you were me?” I asked.

“Boys come and go, but friends are forever, right?” she said.

Charlotte looked over at me. The smile on Asia’s face seemed weak and I wondered if she believed that or not. But that was what Aunt Faith had said as well.

I avoided Simone all morning but at lunch, she and Asia came to sit at my table with me and Charlotte.

“Honey, you look so pretty today,” Simone said.

I didn’t respond and Pilar walked over and sat down. I was surprised since she rarely sat at my table, but she put her tray down and asked me where I got my dress.

“I got it in Saugatuck over the summer,” I said.

“Oh, was that the day we went?” Asia asked.

“No, another time.”

“’Cause that day was super fun. We should do that again sometime. Like, all of us go. Wouldn’t that be fun, you guys?” Asia asked.

Pilar stared at her and Charlotte looked uncomfortable.

“That would be super fun,” Simone said. “I’ll ask my mom if she can drive. What do you say? You guys want to go Saturday?”

“I have to go to the nursing home tomorrow,” Pilar said.

“Okay, well, what about the rest of you guys? Up for a trip to Saugatuck?” Simone asked.

How could she sit there and act like everything was fine between us?

“Actually, I’m going with Pilar tomorrow,” I said.

Pilar smiled. “Yeah, we have plans.”

Simone looked between the two of us. “Seriously? So you’re going to an old folks’ home…together?”

“Yeah, why?” Pilar asked.

“No reason. So, um, did you guys pick out your MantraBands yet? I’m getting the
‘
Live in the Moment’
one.”

“Maybe you should get the
‘
Forever Friends’
one,” Pilar said with a smile. “After all, friendship is so important.”

I realized Pilar did have my back on this.

“Yeah, that one is nice—in the rose gold,” I said to Pilar.

“Oh, do you mean we should all get that one?” Simone asked, confused.

“I dunno. We’ll see,” Pilar said.

“So what time will you guys be through at the nursing home?” Simone asked. “Let’s go hang out afterward.”

“Well, who knows how long we’ll be,” Pilar said.

“You’ve said before that visiting hours are over at seven,” Simone said. “And you never spend the whole day because it tires your grandma out.”

“Oh, you remembered I have a grandma. That’s so sweet,” Pilar said.

Asia and Charlotte looked shocked and Simone gave a nervous laugh.

“Of course, silly. So what time should we pick you guys up?” Simone said.

“Why don’t we call you when we’re done. We’ll probably be finished by five,” Pilar said.

The bell rang and we got up. Simone walked me to class and never stopped talking the entire time. After school, Pilar was at my locker with Charlotte.

“We could always say we’ll call her tomorrow and then completely blow her off Saturday as she sits waiting for a call that comes too late. What’s she going to say? Anyway, the ball’s in your court now,” Pilar said.

I nodded. “I wish I knew how to handle this. This stupid school is too small to ignore her.”

“Is that what you want to do?” Char asked.

“Yeah, I don’t want to talk to someone who would disregard my feelings like that.”

Asia came over to us. “Pilar, you were a little harsh at lunch,” she said. “Hadley, I feel like Simone just got caught up in the moment—that she wasn’t thinking. She’s my best friend, but she’s pretty self-absorbed so you were probably the last thing on her mind when she was with Nick that day. Honestly, it most likely wasn’t intentional or against you. She just reacts in the moment sometimes. But that doesn’t excuse her selfish butt for acting that way.”

Pilar shrugged. “Yeah, I could see that being how it went down.”

“It makes me feel a tiny bit better to think she wasn’t trying to hurt me intentionally, but I still can’t get over it,” I said.

“And Nick?” Asia asked. “Have you talked to him at all?”

“No, I
hate
him.”

The girls exchanged a look. “You hate him, but not Simone?” Char asked. “She was your friend and knew how much you liked him.”

“Yeah, but he knew how I felt about him and we…we were…I just can’t forgive him for betraying me like that.”

“So you’re forgiving her because she’s a flighty, selfish brat, but you think he knew what he was doing?” Pilar asked.

“No, I’m saying he should have known how much that would hurt me.”

Asia nodded. “Well, girls are always more dependable then guys. I gotta go. Hope you guys can come tomorrow.”

Asia walked away and Charlotte stared at me. “You like him more than Simone,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not just chalking it up to her being a self-absorbed jerk, you’re madder at him because you care about him a lot more than her. It hurts more coming from him than her,” she said.

I felt my eyes well up. “No, it’s like Asia said—that’s how she is. She doesn’t think, but he’s not like that.”

“So it’s not because you have a closer bond with him than you ever did with her?”

I looked away. “I don’t know.”

Pilar sighed. “I wish my stupid brother was some help in this. He’s got girl problems of his own though.”

“Do you actually want me to come with you tomorrow to see your grandma?” I asked.

She looked surprised. “Nah, I just said that to get you out of being stuck in a car with Simone. No one would want to go to a place like that if they didn’t have to.”

“I don’t mind,” I said. “I know it sucks for you and it’s just a movie afternoon. And then we can mess with Simone by calling her late and saying we’re finally ready.”

She laughed. “Okay, we’ll pick you up at noon. Oh, but you know Nick might be there.”

“Whatever. Then he can watch me from across the room and see how I am just fine without him,” I said.

Chapter Nineteen

The next day, Pilar, her mother, and I went to the nursing home. Pilar and Mrs. Ito went to get her grandma settled in the media room before the movie started. Mrs. Ito asked me if I’d go and get her cardigan from her room.

I was coming back with the sweater when I saw Nick’s grandfather looking around, confused. He was lifting his arm and trying to get the attention of the people walking by, but they were all visitors and not taking notice. My heart broke looking at his confused expression. I felt bad for him so I went over there to help.

“Hi, Mr. Jenkins. Do you remember me? I’m Hadley, Nick’s friend.”

“Oh.”

“Do you remember when I came here to see you with Nick—your grandson?”

“Nick? Is Nick here?” he asked.

“No, but do you need anything? Would you like to go in and watch the movie?”

“Movie? Oh sure. Yes.”

I pushed his wheelchair into the room where the screen was set up. Pilar and her mom had her grandmother over to the side, so I moved Mr. Jenkins over there. One of the nurses brought over a tray of snacks for us. I realized there wasn’t a cup of water for Mr. Jenkins, so I got up to get one. When I came back to the table, Mr. Jenkins was eating some popcorn.

“Here, would you like some water?” I asked, and held the cup out to him. “I can hold it if it’s easier.”

He nodded and leaned forward to take a sip.

“Hadley?”

I looked up and Nick was standing there. Glancing back to his grandpa, I saw he was done drinking.

“Here,” I said, handing Nick the cup, and I sat back down.

“Thanks for taking care of my grandpa,” Nick said.

“Uh-huh.”

“It means a lot to me,” he said.

“Sure, whatever,” I said. “Pilar, what movie are they showing?”

She held back a smile. “
Sabrina
.”

Then I noticed there were, like, fifty fliers around the room saying
Sabrina
, and it was also on the giant screen at the front.

“Right. Audrey Hepburn.”

Nick pulled up a chair. “Is it okay if I sit with you guys?”

I was about to say no, but as I looked over, I saw Mr. Jenkins smiling at me.

“What a nice little girl,” he said, and patted me on the hand.

I sighed. “It’s fine.”

Pilar handed me a brownie. She leaned over and whispered, “Be strong. Show no weakness. Oh, and make sure you don’t get frosting on your lip. You have a tendency to do that.”

Nick kept looking at me during the movie and it was making me self-conscious. I kept sipping my soda to give me something to do and all of a sudden all the liquid caught up with me and I had to go to the bathroom.

“Be right back,” I whispered to Pilar. “About to wet my pants.”

When I came out of the rest room, Nick was leaning against the wall, waiting for me.

“We need to talk,” he said.

“Are you just going to leave your grandpa unattended like that?”

“Seeing as how he lives here full-time, I think the nurses have this covered,” he said. “Seriously, we have to discuss this. Hadley, I would never risk our relationship over something so stupid like kissing Simone. I love you.”

“Well, you did risk it and now it’s over. I don’t know what else you want me to say,” I said, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Why would I even consider going after Simone when I love you?”

“Stop saying that. You
keep
saying that. You don’t even know what it means.”

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t,” he said.

“No, you
don’t
. Because if you did you wouldn’t have kissed one of my friends.”

“How can you
still
call her your friend when she did that to you? A friend doesn’t go around kissing someone you like.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Hadley, I love you.”

“Stop it! They’re just words to you and you think they will be enough to get me to forgive you, but they’re just words.”

“Not to me they aren’t.”

“Really? Because you sure have a crappy way of treating people you claim to love.”

“I’ve never said those words to another girl before. You’re the first.”

“Right, so all those times you were with Reagan…oh, maybe you are telling the truth since it’s obvious you two didn’t talk much,” I said.

“No, I never said it to her or anyone else. I love you, only you. I swear I never kissed Simone.”

“She said you kissed her back.”

“So she admits she kissed me, then? That I didn’t initiate it?”

I looked away.

“Why do you believe her over me? She admits she kissed me—what kind of friend does that?” he asked.

“A crappy one. Yes, I know, but who tells someone they love them and then kisses their dream crush?”

“I don’t know, but
I
didn’t. I swear I did not kiss her back. And you know what happened after she kissed me? She was embarrassed. I think she was humiliated that I didn’t react and that’s why she’s saying that I kissed her back.”

“What? To hurt me?” I asked.

“No, she doesn’t care enough about you or your feelings. She’s saying it to save face. She doesn’t want to admit I wasn’t into her. It’s for her own stupid ego and she doesn’t care who she hurts in the process—not me and not you.”

My body felt cold and I had this weird feeling like I was eerily calm—almost numb. What he said made sense, but did Simone care so little about me that she’d continue lying to make herself look less pathetic? But how could that be the case when she was Simone Hendrickson—former TV star and Nick’s former crush?

I couldn’t handle any more and started to walk away. I got three feet away and realized he hadn’t bothered to come after me. Turning around I saw he was sitting on the bench and he looked completely defeated. His shoulders were slumped and he was staring at his hands. He looked up at me with his eyes watering.

“You know how much you mean to me,” he said.

My heart hurt for him. He looked so sad and I walked over and sat down next to him.

“She was your dream girl. I could see how you would be tempted—even if you weren’t thinking about it, I can see how on instinct you’d react and kiss her back.”

“But that’s not what happened.”

It hit me then that Nick had never once asked me for forgiveness. Simone had begged me to forgive her and apologized a million times, but Nick hadn’t done either. Was he thinking it would be better for him to admit nothing? Did he think he didn’t do anything wrong, or was he telling me the truth this whole time? I wanted to run back in the room and ask Pilar for advice.

“I just don’t want to be lied to,” I said. “I’d rather you were just honest with me about what happened. If you just got caught up in a moment with her, tell me. I can forgive you if that’s what happened.”

“I didn’t kiss back because…I was stunned. Here was this TV star I had a crush on and she knows I’m dating her friend and she just threw herself at me. It seemed desperate and pathetic and I didn’t react because, well, basically I was like,
what the hell is this?
”

“So you weren’t thinking about me either?”

“No, I was. But I was also thinking, what kind of friend does that? Honestly, there’s part of this I’m not proud of too.”

Hello, sinking feeling. “What?”

“I didn’t call you that night because I was taking the chance she’d feel so dumb about the whole thing that she’d never tell you and then I could pretend it never happened.”

I stared at him.

“I kept thinking if you told me some dude kissed you—even if it was, like, Connor, or some other guy I knew you weren’t into at all—I’d be mad. And I thought, hey, maybe if she doesn’t find out then I don’t have to say anything and things can stay the way they were because things were pretty great.”

My body felt so calm; I couldn’t tell if it was because I was in some sort of shock or because what he said made sense to me. I didn’t trust my senses right now.

“This is a lot to take in. I need some time, okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure. Time. I want you to say we’re okay, but I want to know you believe me one hundred percent. There’s part of me that is mad you can’t take my word for it, but I know I’d be hurt too so I will, I dunno, wait it out or whatever.”

I got up and walked back to the room.

“You okay?” Pilar asked.

I nodded.

After the movie, Pilar told her mom we were going to the bathroom and I told her what happened.

“It does make sense,” she said.

“But do I just want it to be true so badly that I’m willing to believe him?”

“Don’t get mad, but…that also makes sense to me as well. My mom always says when you have a big decision to make you should sleep on it.”

“For how long?” I asked.

“As long as it takes to not feel like puking when you see either one of them.”

“Oh, so eternity, then,” I said.

“Are you inviting him to your birthday party next week?”

“No, I didn’t. It’s just a few friends though.”

“Is Simone coming?” she asked.

“I didn’t ask her, but she thinks she’s included.”

Pilar nodded. “Are any guys coming?”

“I was going to ask Lucas, Will, Connor, and your brother, but maybe if I don’t ask guys then I won’t have to deal with whether or not to ask Nick.”

“Yeah, that would solve it.”

“I can’t handle talking to him anymore today. It will just confuse me. And I don’t want to ruin Asia’s Saturday by making her wait around for us to call them about going to Saugatuck, but I am not in the mood to be around Simone either,” I said.

“Me neither. Oh crap.”

“What?”

“Simone’s standing outside the doors. Can we pretend we don’t see her? They have an alarm so that you have to be buzzed into this place. If we can shimmy away from the door, she’ll never see us and she can’t get in…and nope, she saw us and she’s waving.”

“Why is she here?” I asked.

“This is what she does when she thinks you’re mad at her. She pushes herself on you and tries to act like nothing’s wrong so either you go along with it or she acts like you’re crazy. I should have seen this coming.”

Pilar buzzed Simone and Asia in.

“Hi, guys,” Simone said, giving Pilar a hug. “I called the nurses’ station and asked what time the movie was over.”

Then she threw her arms around me just as Nick walked out of the media room. He met my eyes and gave me a look, as if he were asking what was going on. I looked away.

“You guys ready to go? My mom’s waiting in the parking lot,” Simone said.

Pilar went to tell her mom we were leaving. I tried to come up with an excuse to go home, but the best I could come up with was saying I had cramps.

“Here, I have some Midol in my purse,” Simone said, pulling out a bottle.

“I think I’ll hold off until they get worse,” I said.

“Great, let’s go.”

Since I was the smallest, I got stuck sitting between Asia and Simone in the back. Simone never stopped running her mouth the entire time. There were no worries about awkward silences between us because she jumped from one topic to another.

“Asia, did you want to check out the store where Hadley got that dress? You looked so pretty in that, Hadley. Honestly, you never looked hotter. Didn’t you think she looked pretty, Pilar?”

“I was straight until I saw Hadley in that dress,” Pilar said in a bored tone, and even Mrs. Hendrickson laughed.

“Oh, you’re so funny, P. You are, like, the funniest person I know. You should so do, like, a humor blog or something,” Simone said.

“Okay, girls. I’m going to park here by the gazebo so it’ll be easy to spot the car. I’ll have my cell on me if you need to reach me. Have fun,” Mrs. Hendrickson said.

“You sure you don’t want to come with us, Mom?” Simone asked. She looked anxious and I wondered if the only reason she invited me was to push me into staying friends with her. I couldn’t suddenly tell her off in a strange place because her mom was my ride home. She knew I was on foreign ground and she had the upper hand. Plus, with Pilar and me right there in front of her, she knew we couldn’t talk behind her back. Was this really what she was up to? Could she be this manipulative?

“So, Hadley, what do you want for your birthday?” Asia asked as we walked into a boutique.

Friends I could actually count on, a boyfriend who wasn’t a slut, truth serum, and world peace.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe jewelry or something,” I said.