Read Complete Works of F. Scott Fitzgerald (Illustrated) Online
Authors: F. Scott Fitzgerald
“What’ll we talk about, Michael?” she demanded nervously on the eve of the party. “Suppose everything goes wrong and everybody gets mad and goes home?”
He laughed.
“Nothing will. You see, these people all know each other — “
The phone on the table asserted itself and Michael picked up the receiver.
“Hello . . . why, hello, Charley.”
Marion sat up alertly in her chair.
“Is that so? Well, I’m very sorry. I’m very, very sorry… I hope it’s nothing serious.”
“Can’t he come?” broke out Marion.
“Sh!” Then into the phone, “Well, it certainly is too bad, Charley. No, it’s no trouble for us at all. We’re just sorry you’re ill.”
With a dismal gesture Michael replaced the receiver.
“The Lawrence girl had to go home last night and Charley’s sick in bed with grip.”
“Do you mean he can’t come?”
“He can’t come.”
Marion’s face contracted suddenly and her eyes filled with tears.
“He says he’s had the doctor all day,” explained Michael dejectedly. “He’s got fever and they didn’t even want him to go to the telephone.”
“I don’t care,” sobbed Marion. “I think it’s terrible. After we’ve invited all these people to meet him.”
“People can’t help being sick.”
“Yes they
can,”
she wailed illogically, “they can help it some way. And if the Lawrence girl was going to leave last night why didn’t he let us know
then?
”
“He said she left unexpectedly. Up to yesterday afternoon they both intended to come.”
“I don’t think he c-cares a bit. I’ll bet he’s glad he’s sick. If he’d cared he’d have brought her to see us long ago.”
She stood up suddenly.
“I’ll tell you one thing,” she assured him vehemently, “I’m just going to telephone everybody and call the whole thing off.”
“Why, Marion — “
But in spite of his half-hearted protests she picked up the phone book and began looking for the first number.
They bought theater tickets next day hoping to fill the hollowness which would invest the evening. Marion had wept when the unintercepted florist arrived at five with boxes of flowers and she felt that she must get out of the house to avoid the ghosts who would presently people it. In silence they ate an elaborate dinner composed of all the things that she had bought for the party.
“It’s only eight,” said Michael afterwards, “I think it’d be sort of nice if we dropped in on Charley for a minute, don’t you?”
“Why, no,” Marion answered, startled, “I wouldn’t think of it.”
“Why not? If he’s seriously sick I’d like to see how well he’s being taken care of.”
She saw that he had made up his mind, so she fought down her instinct against the idea and they taxied to a tall pile of studio apartments on Madison Avenue.
“You go on in,” urged Marion nervously, “I’d rather wait out here.”
“Please come in.”
“Why? He’ll be in bed and he doesn’t want any women around.”
“But he’d like to see you — it’d cheer him up. And he’d know that we understood about to-night. He sounded awfully depressed over the phone.”
He urged her from the cab.
“Let’s only stay a minute,” she whispered tensely as they went up in the elevator. “The show starts at half past eight.”
“Apartment on the right,” said the elevator man.
They rang the bell and waited. The door opened and they walked directly into Charley Hart’s great studio room.
It was crowded with people; from end to end ran a long lamp-lit dinner table strewn with ferns and young roses, from which a gay murmur of laughter and conversation arose into the faintly smoky air. Twenty women in evening dress sat on one side in a row chatting across the flowers at twenty men, with an elation born of the sparkling Burgundy which dripped from many bottles into thin chilled glass. Up on the high narrow balcony which encircled the room a string quartet was playing something by Stravinski in a key that was pitched just below the women’s voices and filled the air like an audible wine.
The door had been opened by one of the waiters, who stepped back deferentially from what he thought were two belated guests — and immediately a handsome man at the head of the table started to his feet, napkin in hand, and stood motionless, staring toward the newcomers. The conversation faded into half silence and all eyes followed Charley Hart’s to the couple at the door. Then, as if the spell was broken, conversation resumed, gathering momentum word by word — the moment was over.
“Let’s get out!” Marion’s low, terrified whisper came to Michael out of a void and for a minute he thought he was possessed by an illusion, that there was no one but Charley in the room after all. Then his eyes cleared and he saw that there were many people here — he had never seen so many! The music swelled suddenly into the tumult of a great brass band and a wind from the loud horns seemed to blow against them; without turning he and Marion each made one blind step backward into the hall, pulling the door to after them.
“Marion — I”
She had run toward the elevator, stood with one finger pressed hard against the bell which rang through the hall like a last high note from the music inside. The door of the apartment opened suddenly and Charley Hart came out into the hall.
“Michael!” he cried, “Michael and Marion, I want to explain! Come inside. I want to
explain,
I tell you.”
He talked excitedly — his face was flushed and his mouth formed a word or two that did not materialize into sound.
“Hurry up, Michael,” came Marion’s voice tensely from the elevator.
“Let me explain,” cried Charley frantically. “I want — “
Michael moved away from him — the elevator came and the gate clanged open.
“You act as if I’d committed some crime.” Charley was following Michael along the hall. “Can’t you understand that this is all an accidental situation?”
“It’s all right,” Michael muttered, “I understand.”
“No, you don’t.” Charley’s voice rose with exasperation. He was working up anger against them so as to justify his own intolerable position. “You’re going away mad and I asked you to come in and join the party. Why did you come up here if you won’t come in? Did you — ?”
Michael walked into the elevator.
“Down, please!” cried Marion. “Oh, I want to go down,
pleasel
”
The gates clanged shut.
They told the taxi-man to take them directly home — neither of them could have endured the theater. Driving uptown to their apartment, Michael buried his face in his hands and tried to realize that the friendship which had meant so much to him was over. He saw now that it had been over for some time, that not once during the past year had Charley sought their company and the shock of the discovery far outweighed the affront he had received.
When they reached home, Marion, who had not said a word in the taxi, led the way into the living-room and motioned for her husband to sit down.
“I’m going to tell you something that you ought to know,” she said. “If it hadn’t been for what happened to-night I’d probably never have told you — but now I think you ought to hear the whole story.” She hesitated. “In the first place, Charley Hart wasn’t a friend of yours at all.”
“What?” He looked up at her dully.
“He wasn’t your friend,” she repeated. “He hasn’t been for years. He was a friend of mine.”
“Why, Charley Hart was — “
“I know what you’re going to say — that Charley was a friend to both of us. But it isn’t true. I don’t know how he considered you at first but he stopped being your friend three or four years ago.”
“Why — “ Michael’s eyes glowed with astonishment. “If that’s true, why was he with us all the time?”
“On account of me,” said Marion steadily. “He was in love with me.”
“What?” Michael laughed incredulously. “You’re imagining things. I know how he used to pretend in a kidding way — “
“It wasn’t kidding,” she interrupted, “not underneath. It began that way — and it ended by his asking me to run away with him.”
Michael frowned.
“Go on,” he said quietly, “I suppose this is true or you wouldn’t be telling me about it — but it simply doesn’t seem real. Did he just suddenly begin to — to — “
He closed his mouth suddenly, unable to say the words.
“It began one night when we three were out dancing,” Marion hesitated. “And at first I thoroughly enjoyed it. He had a faculty for noticing things — noticing dresses and hats and the new ways I’d do my hair. He was good company. He could always make me feel important, somehow, and attractive. Don’t get the idea that I preferred his company to yours — I didn’t. I knew how completely selfish he was, and what a will-o’-the-wisp. But I encouraged him, I suppose — I thought it was fine. It was a new angle on Charley, and he was amusing at it just as he was at everything he did.”
“Yes — “ agreed Michael with an effort, “I suppose it was — hilariously amusing.”
“At first he liked you just the same. It didn’t occur to him that he was doing anything treacherous to you. He was just following a natural impulse — that was all. But after a few weeks he began to find you in the way. He wanted to take me to dinner without you along — and it couldn’t be done. Well, that sort of thing went on for over a year.”
“What happened then?”
“Nothing happened. That’s why he stopped coming to see us any more.”
Michael rose slowly to his feet.
“Do you mean — “
“Wait a minute. If you’ll think a little you’ll see it was bound to turn out that way. When he saw that I was trying to let him down easily so that he’d be simply one of our oldest friends again, he broke away. He didn’t want to be one of our oldest friends — that time was over.”
“I see.”
“Well — “ Marion stood up and began biting nervously at her lip, “that’s all. I thought this thing to-night would hurt you less if you understood the whole affair.”
“Yes,” Michael answered in a dull voice, “I suppose that’s true.”
Michael’s business took a prosperous turn, and when summer came they went to the country, renting a little old farmhouse where the children played all day on a tangled half acre of grass and trees. The subject of Charley was never mentioned between them and as the months passed he receded to a shadowy background in their minds. Sometimes, just before dropping off to sleep, Michael found himself thinking of the happy times the three of them had had together five years before — then the reality would intrude upon the illusion and he would be repelled from the subject with almost physical distaste.
One warm evening in July he lay dozing on the porch in the twilight. He had had a hard day at his office and it was welcome to rest here while the summer light faded from the land.
At the sound of an automobile he raised his head lazily. At the end of the path a local taxicab had stopped and a young man was getting out. With an exclamation Michael sat up. Even in the dusk he recognized those shoulders, that impatient walk —
“Well, I’m damned,” he said softly.
As Charley Hart came up the gravel path Michael noticed in a glance that he was unusually disheveled. His handsome face was drawn and tired, his clothes were out of press and he had the unmistakable look of needing a good night’s sleep.
He came up on the porch, saw Michael and smiled in a wan, embarrassed way.
“Hello, Michael.”
Neither of them made any move to shake hands but after a moment Charley collapsed abruptly into a chair.
“I’d like a glass of water,” he said huskily, “it’s hot as hell.”
Without a word Michael went into the house — returned with a glass of water which Charley drank in great noisy gulps.
“Thanks,” he said, gasping, “I thought I was going to pass away.”
He looked about him with eyes that only pretended to take in his surroundings.
“Nice little place you’ve got here,” he remarked; his eyes returned to Michael. “Do you want me to get out?”
“Why — no. Sit and rest if you want to. You look all in.”
“I am. Do you want to hear about it?”
“Not in the least.”
“Well, I’m going to tell you anyhow,” said Charley defiantly. “That’s what I came out here for. I’m in trouble, Michael, and I haven’t got anybody to go to except you.”
“Have you tried your friends?” asked Michael coolly.
“I’ve tried about everybody — everybody I’ve had time to go to. God!” He wiped his forehead with his hand. “I never realized how hard it was to raise a simple two thousand dollars.”
“Have you come to me for two thousand dollars?”
“Wait a minute, Michael. Wait till you hear. It just shows you what a mess a man can get into without meaning any harm. You see, I’m the treasurer of a society called the Independent Artists’ Benefit — a thing to help struggling students. There was a fund, thirty-five hundred dollars, and it’s been lying in my bank for over a year. Well, as you know, I live pretty high — make a lot and spend a lot — and about a month ago I began speculating a little through a friend of mine — “
“I don’t know why you’re telling me all this,” interrupted Michael impatiently, “I — “
“Wait a minute, won’t you — I’m almost through.” He looked at Michael with frightened eyes. “I used that money sometimes without even realizing that it wasn’t mine. I’ve always had plenty of my own, you see. Till this week,” he hesitated, “this week there was a meeting of this society and they asked me to turn over the money. Well, I went to a couple of men to try and borrow it and as soon as my back was turned one of them blabbed. There was a terrible blow-up last night. They told me unless I handed over the two thousand this morning they’d send me to jail — “ His voice rose and he looked around wildly. “There’s a warrant out for me now — and if I can’t get the money I’ll kill myself, Michael; I swear to God I will; I won’t go to prison. I’m an artist — not a business man. I — “
He made an effort to control his voice.
“Michael,” he whispered, “you’re my oldest friend. I haven’t got anyone in the world but you to turn to.”
“You’re a little late,” said Michael uncomfortably, “you didn’t think of me four years ago when you asked my wife to run away with you.”