Complicated (3 page)

“I’m—this is your trailer?” Jonathan’s mouth slackened, and his eyes widened. “This is bigger than my apartment.”

“It’s my home away from home.” He opened the door. “Come in. Sit. We’ll eat. Don’t stare too much.” He grinned. The more time he spent with Jonathan, the more he liked him. “I got it because I have enough of a part that they need to keep me here. Otherwise, I’d have to fend for myself. It’s okay. I don’t mind. I’d rather have an apartment around here than be stuck to the lot.”

Jonathan plopped onto the nearest chair. “You’re not who I thought you’d be.”

“How so?” Sean bit into his taco and handed the bag to Jonathan. “I’m pretty normal,” he said around the mouthful of food.

Jonathan draped his ankle over his knee and watched Sean. He didn’t say anything for a long moment. He sighed. “Well, you ask a lot of questions, and you’re nothing like I expected. To answer your first question, I’m a busboy-slash-waiter down at the Pier. It’s a little diner right off the water. People come in for burgers, fries and lots of pancakes.” He opened one of the tacos. “I’ve got a tiny apartment over off East Ninth Street. All one room, save for the bathroom. I finished college in the spring, and I’m trying to get my foot in the door of Hollywood productions because I want to be like you—well, you without the stint at rehab.” He froze. “I—oh crap. I way overdid it.” He frowned. “That’s… God, I suck.”

Sean chuckled and balled up the paper from his taco. He’d never met anyone, outside of rehab, quite so blunt but honestly shy about being so
blunt
. He shrugged. “You might suck. I don’t know. I haven’t tested you on that angle.” He tossed the wrapper aside and perched on the edge of the couch. He reached for Jonathan. “As for the way I lived my life and what you want to do with yours, yeah, I made my mistakes. Cocaine and I were good friends, but it didn’t love me.”

“I’ve never done… I’ve barely ever gotten drunk.” Jonathan’s naiveté practically glowed around him.

“I’d say you should try it, but I know better.” Sean sat back on his seat and waited for Jonathan to finish eating. “So you’ve been to college and graduated. That’s one of my goals. I want to do more than high school via the educational system at the studio. Thought I might study art. I’ve always liked art.”

“I can’t draw.” Jonathan swallowed the last bite of his taco. “I made it through art with a C average.”

“Maybe, I can teach you what I know.”

“I’d like that.” Jonathan grinned. “About the acting thing… I don’t expect you to open doors for me. I know it might seem that way. I want to do this on my own. No one believes I can make it outside of Lakeland.”

“I think you can.” He believed Jonathan could do anything he set his mind to. “No one ever expected me to do much beyond get high and screw up on set. I’d like to think I can prove them wrong.”

“You will.” Jonathan moved his wrapper aside. He swallowed hard, making his Adam’s apple bob.

God, he didn’t realize how cute he looked when flustered. Sean tipped his head to the side. He knew actors. Hell, he was one, but he didn’t suspect Jonathan was playing him. The men who’d tried to pull shit and act innocent weren’t nearly as good as the real thing.

“If you don’t want me in this role… I know it’s small, but I’ll bow out. I’ve made a mess of things.” Jonathan scooted to the edge of his seat then stood. “I need to go.”

“Why?” Sean grabbed his hand. “You’re doing fine.”

“I’m… I don’t feel like I’m doing fine at all.”

“You’re new to the acting business. You’ve got manners. You’re one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met. Either cut the bullshit and tell me the truth or come here.”

Jonathan’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He could’ve been pulling a stunt, but Sean didn’t buy it.

“A good actor, no matter how good, loses character when flustered.” Sean curled his arm around Jonathan. “You’re good, but you’re not perfect. Plus you kiss like a pro.” Instead of giving Jonathan a chance to answer, he crushed his mouth down on Jonathan’s. He needed more of the tender-hearted young man.

Ways to play out the scene flickered around in his head. They were supposed to simply lay in bed together. He wanted to do so much more…right now.

Chapter Three

Jonathan pressed his body to Sean’s. Kissing the actor lit up every nerve ending in his body. He practically caught fire from the heat. His cock twitched behind his zipper. He’d been hard when they’d done the scene, and now, he’d could barely contain his excitement.

He eased away from Sean. He’d been so stupid, saying the first thing to come to mind. Why Sean hadn’t booted him out of the trailer…Jonathan didn’t understand. Nothing made sense except for touching and kissing Sean. Honestly, he had no idea what the hell the rest of his part would be. He hadn’t been given the rest of the script.

Sean clutched Jonathan’s arm and rested his forehead against Jonathan’s. “I should let you go, but I don’t want to.” He splayed his hand over Jonathan’s pec, covering his heart. “We should be working on the scene. We’ve barely got two hours.”

“Less than,” Jonathan whispered.

“Yeah.” He slid his fingers down Jonathan’s chest to his belly then to his hand. “Come here.”

Jonathan allowed Sean to pull him forward, but he wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. Did Sean think they were going to have sex? Or was he planning to throw Jonathan out?

“So, the script calls for us to be in bed. Why Tony didn’t say anything is beyond me. Probably because he wanted one of his assistants to do it, and they didn’t get the message.” He opened the door to the bedroom. “We should practice.”

“I—” Shit. He wasn’t sure how much practicing Sean expected them to do. “Can I read the script first?”

“Sure. I hope you do.” Sean let go of him and picked up the full script. “Page ninety-two. We’ve got like two pages. It’s not much.”

“Gotcha.” Jonathan sat on the edge of the bed and flipped through the script. He found the right page. He and Sean were to be naked in bed together. They were supposed to have a conversation. In bed? A conversation? How the hell did he know what would happen in bed with another man? He rolled his eyes at himself. Geez. He’d seen porn. He’d had some friends in college who had screwed around. He knew the mechanics. He just hadn’t ventured into the world of having sex.

“What’s wrong? You don’t want to.” Sean leaned against the wall and folded his arms. “I knew this would happen.”

“Huh? What?” Jonathan ripped his attention from the script. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“What are you thinking?” Sean sat down beside him. “Be honest with me.”

Jonathan blew out a long breath. He was thinking so many things. “It’s complicated.”

“Really? You have to get naked with me in a bed and touch my ass. What’s complicated about that?”

“Naked?” He felt the blood drain from his face. The whole idea of being in a movie was to run across Public Square and say two lines. He was in so far over his head he was going to drown.

“How about we go through this.” Sean flattened the script on Jonathan’s lap. “Let’s start from the beginning. It’s your first time being naked on film. I get it. It’s scary.”

“Yeah.” Scary…especially since he was still a flippin’ virgin. “How do you get through it?”

“Dick sock.” He reached around to a set of drawers built into the wall. “This.” He held up a flesh-colored sock. “It covers up what’s important without looking like you’re wearing something.” He shrugged. “Or you have the set closed and go full Monty.”

“You know what the full Monty is?” Jonathan narrowed his eyes. He felt a little more at ease being with Sean, but the naked part still bothered him.

“I’m twenty-four, but I grew up in the film industry. I’ve seen lots of movies and done my share of naked scenes.”

Jonathan stared at the words on the page. He should just tell Sean the truth. He’d never been naked with another guy.

“You’re worried?” Sean tipped Jonathan’s head, forcing him to look Sean in the eyes. “Let me help get you relaxed.” He kissed Jonathan again.

This time, he bit Jonathan’s bottom lip, sending sparks through Jonathan’s system. Jonathan shivered. He rubbed the bulge in his pants. He would come apart without even shucking his jeans.

Sean crawled onto the floor between Jonathan’s knees. He continued kissing Jonathan, getting bolder. He popped the button on Jonathan’s pants.

“Wait.” Jonathan nudged Sean back. “Just…”

“I know what I’m doing.” He slipped his hand into Jonathan’s pants and massaged his cock. “You’re packing. Nice.”

“Sean.” They needed to stop. His heart pounded. Holy crap. “Sean.” He grasped Sean’s shoulders. “Stop.”

Sean froze. “You’re straight. Fuck.” He scrambled off the floor. “I should’ve seen this coming. You’re thoughtful and sweet and not interested. Damn it.”

“No.” Jonathan zipped his pants and rushed into the living room after Sean. He’d screwed everything up. His age had totally kicked his ass. “It’s not that.”

“It’s me?” Sean whipped around. He’d forked his fingers into his hair. “I knew this would happen, too. People want to fuck the celebrity because they think it’ll make them famous. Christ. I’m not even famous.”

“Slow down.” He needed to be smart about his explanation. “Can we talk?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

Jonathan winced. Shit.

“I’m a virgin,” he blurted. There. The truth was out. He felt stupid, but he’d been honest.

“What?” Sean’s shoulders sagged. “A…virgin?”

“Yeah.” Jonathan dipped his head. He needed to go. He’d expected too much from himself. He wasn’t cut out to be in the movies. “I’ll go.”

“Why?” Sean grasped Jonathan’s hand. “Start from the beginning.” He led Jonathan back to the couch. “Sit. We can be late to the set. I don’t care.”

Jonathan sagged onto the cushions. He couldn’t breathe. He’d never told anyone he was a virgin. Even his friends in college thought he’d done it with…someone.

“I moved too fast. I’m sorry.” Sean slipped his fingers over Jonathan’s cheek. “Go ahead.”

He could do this. If he was expected to get naked with the man, he’d have to trust him. He rubbed his clammy hands on his jeans legs. “I came out the day I graduated from high school. I knew I was gay for a while, but I finally felt confident enough to tell everyone. My then-girlfriend cried. Mom was totally behind me. The guy I crushed on, who already happened to be out and proud, turned me down. When he said no, I stayed out, but I didn’t try to date. It was too hard. I went to college and kept my head down. I wanted to get through school. A couple of my friends tried to hook me up, but it was just…bad.”

“Honey, no. I’m sorry. That’s terrible.” Sean grasped Jonathan’s hand. “A jerk scared you off from having sex?”

“I wanted to, but come on. I’m not exactly cool.” His low self-esteem finally surfaced. “Sorry.”

“Why? I’m jealous. I don’t even remember when I lost my virginity.” Sean blushed. “Yeah, that’s dorky.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever been dorky a day in your life.”

“You’d be surprised.” Sean rested his head on Jonathan’s shoulder. “Who do you fantasize about? You’ve got to think about someone.”

“Right now?”

“Follow me on this. If you think about the person you’re hot for, then the scene will be easier.” Sean paused. “That is, if you still want to do it with me.”

Jonathan’s brain told him to go slow. His heart wanted to strip down naked with Sean and act out the whole scene in Sean’s bedroom. His gut…his gut said to go for it.

“I do.” Jonathan nodded. “I want to do it.”

“Take off your shirt.” Sean stood and wriggled out of his shirt. “Do it.”

“Ah…okay.” Jonathan tugged the T-shirt up over his head. The moment he glimpsed Sean’s perfect torso, he wanted to put his shirt back on. He folded his arms and debated how to leave with his dignity.

“Don’t hide. Good God, we’re going to be nearly naked in a half hour. Come on.” Sean helped Jonathan to his feet. “We’re going to practice. It’s simple.” He dragged Jonathan down the short hallway to the bedroom again. “Stretch out on my bed. On your belly.”

Jonathan wanted to run. Wanted to back out and never set foot in downtown Cleveland again. Instead, he crawled onto the mattress. His hands shook. “Like this?”

“I’ll pose you.” Sean draped the sheets over Jonathan’s lower half. “Put one arm under the pillow and leave your left arm free.”

Jonathan forced himself to calm down. He was in Sean Banks’ bed, half-naked and about to be beside Sean.

“Close your eyes.”

He did as told and prayed he didn’t have to roll over and showcase his boner.

The mattress dipped, and Sean climbed under the covers beside him. He moved Jonathan’s arm and settled against Jonathan’s side. The position felt oddly natural, as if they’d been sleeping together for years.

“You’re a natural at this.” Sean kissed Jonathan’s knuckles. “In the script, there are four main shots. One is me climbing into bed with you. Pretty simple. You’re already in bed asleep. When I’m beside you, you snuggle into me.”

“I can do that.” Jonathan resisted the urge to kiss Sean’s shoulder. He loved the way the actor smelled…fresh and outdoorsy.

“The next scene is just us together, but I get the call. I’ve got to leave. According to the script, I say I’ve got to go and you pout. That’s good, but I don’t think it’s going to work. We’ve been together for too long. I’d just get up and you’d have your hand on my ass as I leave the bed. When I’m out of bed, you caress where I’ve been then settle into my warm spot.” He turned over enough to look Jonathan in the eye. “Make sense?”

“Perfect.” Jonathan stared into Sean’s brown eyes. A man could get lost in those deep brown eyes. He twined their legs together and rubbed Sean’s belly. “What’s the other part of the scene?”

“You come home with me tonight.” Sean palmed Jonathan’s hip. “I don’t care what we do. Just stay with me tonight.”

“Sean.” Jonathan paused. He could’ve sworn he heard something ding. A bell? A phone?

“Please?” Sean kissed along Jonathan’s neck and chin. “I don’t understand what’s happening between us, but it’s strong. I want this.”