Confessions of a Bad Bridesmaid (13 page)

TWENTY-TWO

‘We’re leaving, darling.
Thank you so much for being here for me.’

Fiona reached up to kiss Olivia’s cheek and Olivia hugged her back with a smile. She was happy for her friend. Happy she’d found love and her life was about to begin.

‘Come and catch the bouquet.’

Olivia stopped.

‘No, no. That’s not for me.’ A cold trickle passed through her. A weekend of romance she could do, but marriage made her nervous. She definitely didn’t want to catch that bouquet. She didn’t want to do anything that might break the tenuous string that bound her and Edward tonight. What if he thought she was one of those girls who were dying to get hitched and ran from her again? No, she was staying right out of this one.

But Fiona pulled her to the front of the reluctant crowd of participants anyway. With a squeal, Fiona hoisted the bouquet and the older women on the sidelines called out.

‘Catch it! Grab it!’

Olivia looked up. It was heading straight for her. Nope. Not
this
black cat. Olivia stepped sideways and apparently so did everyone else, because the bouquet landed with a thud on the floor. The dozen or so girls dressed in varying shades of silk and satin all stared at it as if it were a bird fallen dead from the sky.

‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, you bunch of cissies!’ Bunny stepped forward and hoisted the bouquet in the air with a fist-pump. A loud cry went up and the crowd clapped before she ran and threw her arms around a surprised Casper.

When the time for the garter toss came it seemed the men were as reluctant as the women. Marriage had become like a reality TV show. Great fun to watch, but no one actually wanted to be on it. Finally Will managed to drag a few men forward, including a reluctant Ed, who looked at Olivia and winked.

That wink ran straight through her body, touching every sexual organ she had. And some parts she was sure weren’t meant to be sexual but now felt as if they were. She knew what that wink meant and it had nothing to do with the garter. It had everything to do with the fact that this toss meant the night was nearly over and they could be alone. Be together. Olivia’s heart raced and her palms went damp.
Relax. You’ve done this already. He won’t be disappointed. He won’t leave.

She calmed herself as the men jostled each other. She could practically feel the rising testosterone levels in the room. None of these men might want to get married, but none could resist the primal call of a gladiator-esque battle. Even if it
was
for a frilly little piece of lace.

A loud manly cry meant the garter had been tossed. The men scrabbled for it. There were punches thrown, choice words used, and finally the victor stood tall, the garter aloft.

Edward.

Smiling wide, as if he were eight years old and had won the hundred-metre sprint at the school athletics carnival.

The crowd cheered and he received many pats on the back before the crowd dispersed and he moved to Olivia’s side, murmuring in her ear, ‘I know of a good use for this.’ He reached over her shoulder and placed the white garter in her outstretched palm.

She didn’t move, just enjoyed the heat of his mouth at her ear and the burn of his fingers against hers. ‘Really?’

‘Yes. Want to come and see?’

‘Come where?’

He stopped for a moment and then breathed into her ear. ‘To my room.’

She closed her eyes. His room. They were really going to do this. Start something.

She was suddenly nervous. ‘I’m not sure if...’

He leaned down to her ear again and rested his hands on her shoulders. ‘I have an
en suite
shower in my room.’

A shower! She’d kill for a shower. An honest-to-God shower-head she could put her face under and let the water run over her shoulders. Sex with a handsome man and a shower. How could a girl resist?

She put her hand behind her, brushed the bulge in his trousers and found his hand. ‘Take me to your lair.’

With a deep, dark chuckle he gripped her hand and finally pulled her away from the maddening crowd.

* * *

He did have a shower. An awfully big shower. A shower built for two. The nerves in Olivia’s stomach were jumping so much she felt sick. And dizzy. His hand held hers as he led her past the doorway to the
en suite
and over to the enormous four-poster bed in the middle of the room.

‘This room is enormous.’ She didn’t know what to say. She just wanted to keep talking.

His fingers slipped through hers and lifted to trail across the neckline of her dress.

‘It is,’ he said, his eyes direct and his mouth unsmiling.

‘Is this the room you slept in when you were growing up?’ She wanted to turn away, move away as he stepped even closer, but she couldn’t. His eyes held her steady.

‘Yes.’

‘It’s nice.’

He stayed silent, his eyes flicking to her lips and then back again to meet hers. He held them for a second before he bit his bottom lip. Olivia watched it. Memorised it. His mouth. His lips. Then his tongue as it darted out to lick the place he’d bitten. Torture. She couldn’t breathe. She needed space. This was all happening so fast. She wasn’t ready. A one-night stand she could do—but more? Could she really do more?

‘I...I’d kill for a shower.’

His eyes lifted again and finally he smiled.

‘There are towels in the vanity. Help yourself.’

She had to look away from him. She had to get away from him. She was scared and had no idea why. She wanted this. She wanted him. She’d asked for this so why was she hesitating? Why was she stalling?

The bathroom door clicked behind her and she let out a breath. This was insane. A beautiful man was here, wanting her. Wanting more of her. She should be jumping into his arms, not hiding in the bathroom. But here she was. Hiding.

Olivia shrugged out of her dress and turned on the water. The shower-head was one of those non-environmentally friendly ones that shot out buckets of water. Olivia was glad of it as she stepped in, letting the hard beads rain down over her shoulders and her back. Instinctively she put her head under, then froze. When she emerged she’d be wet. Her make-up would be washed off and her hair would be frizzy. He’d see her as she really was.

A shudder ran through her naked body and she turned the heat up even more. She wasn’t ready for this. She’d never shown a man the real her. Not once. But here—in Edward’s room—there was nothing to hide behind. If she stepped out of that bathroom he’d see everything. What would he do? Run?

‘Olivia? Are you all right? Do you need anything?’

Yes. She needed to get out of here. Escape. Find some man who only wanted her for five minutes. She knew what to do with those men. Get angry at them, laugh with her girlfriends over them and move on. She didn’t know what to do with one who wanted to stick around.

‘I’m fine. Don’t come in.’

A pause. ‘I wasn’t going to. Are you sure everything’s all right? You sound...unsure.’

The concerned inflection in Edward’s voice hit her in the stomach. Disregarding their first meeting, Edward had shown nothing but kindness to her. Kindness and some kind of strange, haunting desire for her. She could feel it every time they were in a room together. She could see it when he looked at her or when he held her hand to keep her steady.

She’d accused Edward of not being honest. But she was wrong. Edward was being honest with her right now. He wanted her and he wanted her to be all right. This was the type of man she deserved. This was the type of man she’d been waiting for.

She stood taller in the shower and pushed her shoulders back. The water ran down her face, washing off every last bit of make-up, leaving her exposed. She wanted him to see her like this. She needed him to want her when she was like this.

* * *

Edward stared at the naked and dripping wet woman standing in the doorway. Her hair was pulled back off her face and her athletic body was before him—curving in at all the right places, her breasts full and her nipples standing out. The sight of her made every thought in his head immediately disappear. He slapped his tongue on the top of his mouth, trying to make his eyes move to hers.

She thrust out a wet arm and pulled him. He almost stumbled. Almost. Once inside the steamy bathroom his senses returned. The heavy rush of the shower beckoned to him. His shoulders tensed and with painful clarity he realised he’d gone rock-hard.

He knew Olivia had been nervous earlier, but from the way she was looking at him and the way she was pressing her body along his he knew she wasn’t nervous any more. The wild animal in him roared again.

He had to keep a steady head. This time he had to slow down. Let her catch up.

Slowly and gently he ran his hands up the sides of her body. Along her hips and into the curve of her waist. His hands were getting wetter and his shirt was soaking but he kept going. His eyes connected with hers and they were darker. Blue rimmed with black and greedy. For this. For him. He couldn’t wait. She moved, shifting against him, and he had to suck in a steam-laced breath.

Not yet.

‘Do I look...all right?’ She smiled nervously.

An inarticulate grunt escaped from his chest. Did she look all right? Was she serious?

‘You look unbelievable.’ She was killing him. Carefully he put his arms on her shoulders, hoping the action would calm her. Hoping it would calm him too. ‘You’re beautiful.’

The smile on her face froze.

‘I know I’m not beautiful, Edward. You don’t have to say that.’

‘I told you once I never say anything I don’t mean and it’s the truth. Your eyes, your mouth...’ He let his eyes linger on her big, bouncy bottom lip. He wanted to put it between his teeth. ‘Your breasts, your stomach...’ He ran his hand down her body until he reached the slick opening he knew she liked him to touch. ‘You’re beautiful everywhere. Especially here...’

She sucked in a hiss and her head fell onto his shoulder.
Control
, he reminded himself.
Stay in control.

‘Wait till you meet my sister—then you’ll know what beautiful is.’

He removed his hand and gripped her shoulders. ‘I don’t want to meet your sister. Don’t you understand. Olivia? It’s you I want. You.’

The eyes looking up at him were wide and he suddenly realised the truth. She really didn’t know she was beautiful. Somehow she had the idea in her head that she wasn’t. But right here, right now, she was bare to him. She’d let him in. She’d let him see the real her. He lifted his hands to place her head between them.

‘You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Olivia.’ They weren’t just words. He meant it. He’d only known her for a few days but she’d shown kindness and compassion and understanding and comfort. Yes, this woman was beautiful. And he had to show her. He had to make her feel the way he felt.

He lifted a hand and pushed his thumb roughly over her lips before dipping his head and tasting them. Sweet and full. He kissed her bottom lip and she swayed towards him. He kissed her top lip and she moaned.

Her eyes were closed; she was feeling it now.

Now he had to touch her. A droplet of water slid from her chin down her neck. He chased it with his tongue. Closing his eyes and tasting her skin before finding another drop and chasing it down her chest to the valley between her beautiful breasts. He wanted to taste this woman. Feel her skin and remember it.

She let out a hiss and arched her back. Now she was really feeling it. And he had to feel those gorgeous breasts. He cupped one, all the while watching for her reaction. A small smile spread across her lips, so he flicked the hard pink bud with his thumb. Her body vibrated. He could feel it again—that uncontrollable white-hot urge to push her against the wall—but he stilled it. Calmed it and let it coil in his gut. He wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to hold on.

Olivia smiled at him and his brain spun in his head. Deep dimples sank into her cheeks and she looked so happy. He loved making her smile and he loved making those small whimpering noises come from the back of her throat as he was doing now. She was still wet and dripping, so he leaned down and took one of those tempting buds in his mouth. He licked, then he kissed. Long and deep and hard. He knew he had to go slowly with Olivia, that she was cautious. But he also knew once he gained her trust she would respond.

That thought made him press himself against her. He wanted her. Needed to be inside her. He flicked her nipple against his tongue. He had to touch her all over. Now.

TWENTY-THREE

‘Edward...’ Olivia was
sure Edward was trying to kill her. Slowly. Kiss by torturous kiss. She wanted him. With a hot desire she’d never felt before. As if she had to have him or she’d hit someone. But he was teasing her. Kissing her skin, playing with her nipple.

His hands dropped to her backside and pulled her in to him and she gasped. She was pressed against him and he was hard and ready and his eyes were almost black. She recognised that look. The look of no return. A shiver vibrated through her body and she lifted her hands and pushed them against his chest.

‘I want you in the shower.’ Her voice came out all low and raspy and she liked it. She liked the way he made her feel.
‘Beautiful,’
he’d said. She had never felt more aware of her curves and her body than she did now. His eyes slid over her hungrily and his hands wandered, skimming over her skin with the lightest of touches.

She stepped into the shower and tried to slow her breathing. She was losing control again, just as she had behind the stairs. He did that to her. The knowledge that he wanted her was like a drug and it was making her feel invincible. Behind her, she knew he’d be undressing. She wanted to see his body, take him all in, but she couldn’t turn yet. She had to take one step at a time.

In less than a minute the door creaked open and she closed her eyes, her heart still racing out of control.

‘Are you ready?’ he asked with a wicked growl.

She was more than ready. She was about to scream if she didn’t feel him against her soon. Then his skin hit hers and fireworks went off in her head. The tickle of the hairs on his chest, the feel of his hard stomach and the long, silky rock-hard feel of him pressed against her. All doubts evaporated. She was his and he was hers. Tonight she trusted him.

She wanted to turn and look at him but his hands ran down her arms and came over hers.

‘Not yet. Don’t turn around.’

Her heart was beating frantically now. He was in control and she had to keep trusting him. He put her hands against the tiles in front of her, then ran his fingers down her arms and over her waist before pressing his hands around her backside.

His hands stroked almost lovingly, and she held her breath in anticipation as his hand came around her hip and dipped lower to gently explore underneath her. His fingers moved slowly and she tensed every muscle in her body until he found her slick opening and stroked. Olivia couldn’t move. She couldn’t think. All she could do was feel. His head was near hers; his lips were against her ear and his other hand held hers fast against the wall.

‘Fottutamente bello,’
he growled, and Olivia cried out as his fingers found the small nub that made her body shiver. He stilled, then stroked her again, kissing the back of her neck and nipping at her shoulder with his teeth.

It was too much. The torture of the wait...the lingering doubt pressing against her ribs. She had to trust him. She wanted to trust him. She pushed herself against him, wanting to feel him against her skin. To make sure he was still hard and still wanted her because she wanted him. Badly.

‘Edward, I need you.’

His mouth came to her cheek and his voice had turned deep—very deep. ‘I need you too. Turn around.’

Olivia spun eagerly around, but she wasn’t prepared for what she saw. He was perfect. From his broad shoulders to the wide chest smattered with black hair and his torso, which tapered down to show off his hard earned abs. A lone scar ran from his hip into the hair that formed at the bottom of his abs. She wondered how he’d got that.

She wanted to touch him. His skin was glistening from the water and he wasn’t moving. Instead he was watching her watch him. So she reached out and ran her fingers from his chest down to his stomach, until her fingers found the silky tip of his penis, long and hard like satin-covered steel. She shivered and her blood rushed to her core. He hissed at her touch and she felt stronger. Braver. He was enjoying her touch, enjoying
her
, and he could see her now. Every bit of her. He wasn’t running. He was pressing himself closer, whispering into her ear. Carefully she wrapped her hand around his length and closed her eyes.

‘I wasn’t sure if you would want to go through with this,’ she said quietly.

‘Why wouldn’t I?’

His voice was gruff and raw. He throbbed in her hand but she didn’t move.

‘I wasn’t sure if you were serious.’

He lifted his head off the shoulder he was kissing to look at her. ‘You want serious?’ he asked, a wicked glint in his eye.

He moved, slipping himself out of her palm, and Olivia’s heart jumped in her chest when she realised where he was going. His legs were long, so even on his knees his head came to her stomach.

She placed her hands on his head. ‘Edward, you don’t have to...’

‘How many times do I have to tell you to stop talking?’ He leaned on his haunches and looked at her. Assessed her. Then his hands came around her backside and he violently pulled her forward, onto his waiting mouth.

Olivia wanted to scream. She wanted to call out—but she was too shocked to do anything. His tongue was inside her and he was sucking and kissing and then using his fingers to stroke and something flicked a switch in her brain. All rational thought left. All she could feel was the hard beads of water on her back, the joy of Edward’s tongue inside her and his fingers as they pressed her to him.

She shifted a little and moved, allowing him better access, and he groaned. The vibration of his deep voice ran through her body and caused her to stumble, but he held her strong, lifting her until she was thoughtless and senseless and couldn’t move. Couldn’t move until the pressure built and everything went black...and then her body shook and she exploded.

Her body spasmed and her hips rocked and she cried out, gripping the walls and wondering if she had ever felt this good.

No. Definitely not. Not ever. Not once.

Slowly Edward stood and pressed himself along her body.

‘Was that serious enough for you?’

She let out a laugh, her boneless body barely able to stay up. But he held her still and shivering until she came to and realised he was still there, holding her body against his so she wouldn’t fall. She wondered if she’d ever get enough of him. The way he looked at her as if she was beautiful. The way he spoke to her in Italian—she had no idea what he said when he talked to her like that, but she knew it was dirty and she liked it.

Aftershocks rocked her body but he stayed where he was, holding her and waiting. She couldn’t move—didn’t want to. She wanted him there for ever. But a blast of cold water made them both jump.

‘Leave it,’ she said as he turned to face her. ‘I need to cool down.’

His eyes fired again as they swept across her body and she laughed.

‘What are you thinking, Edward?’

He shifted in closer, his big body covering hers, and dipped his mouth to lick the water from her shoulder. She did the same to him and tasted the saltiness of his skin.

‘What am I thinking?’ he asked, his voice low and deep and raw. ‘I’m thinking that it’s my turn.’

He pulled her in close against the hard planes of his body and she melted into him. Let him hold her up.

‘I want you to come like that again,’ he growled in her ear, before turning the water off completely and pulling her dripping body out of the shower, out of the bathroom and over to the big, waiting bed.

* * *

It was late. Olivia wasn’t sure how late, but the house had gone quiet and a heavy blackness had settled outside. She’d slept a while, wrapped in Edward’s arms, and then slept a while with her body scrooched right to the side of the bed. Then the bed had shifted and Edward had got out, returning with a drink of water. Olivia was pretending to be asleep still, but she wasn’t. She was lying and waiting to hear his breathing change. But all she heard was a large intake of breath, and then a sigh, so she decided to turn and face him.

‘Edward?’

He was lying on his back and his hands were tucked under his head. His large biceps bulged and Olivia felt a strange urge to bite them. She muffled a laugh and he turned his head.

‘What are you laughing at?’

‘Nothing. You.’

She moved closer, comfortable now he was talking to her. As she snuggled against him her heart let out a sigh as one of his big arms came down around her body and pulled her in closer. He kissed her lips and shifted a little, so he was looking into her face.

‘What do you find so amusing about me?’ he asked. He smiled and Olivia snuggled even closer.

‘It’s not you I find funny. It’s me. And the things I think when I’m with you.’

‘What are you thinking right now?’

‘Actually, I was thinking about how I wanted to bite your biceps.’

His forehead furrowed. ‘Please don’t tell me you’re actually clinically insane?’

‘Well, not clinically. But I do have moments of insanity.’

‘Like tonight?’

‘No, tonight I am the most rational I’ve ever been. Tonight I made love to a man who makes me feel like someone else.’

Edward shifted, his brow still furrowed. He propped himself up on one arm and used his other hand to trace a line from Olivia’s eyebrow to her chin. Her skin tingled at his touch and she shivered.

‘I don’t want you to be someone else. I like you. I like your beautiful eyes and your gorgeous smile and I like the way you bite your tongue when you come.’

A hard, heavy ball of desire dropped to Olivia’s stomach. They’d been at this all night. Was he ready to go again? Because she sure as hell was. She sucked in her bottom lip and bit down. Hard. Trying to still the red-hot stab his look was generating in her.

‘Admit it. You hated me when we first met.’

‘I didn’t hate you. I thought you were ridiculous. And stupid. But I didn’t hate you.’

Olivia shot him a fierce look. ‘You thought I was stupid?’

‘You told me the Prime Minister was “just a man”.’

‘He is.’

‘Just a man whose entire life revolves around running this country.’

‘Just a man who goes home to his wife and kids every night. Just a man who is probably lying in bed with a hard-on, like you are right now.’

A look crossed Edward’s face that told her he’d never thought about the Prime Minister’s hard-on before and nor did he ever want to again. She laughed at him again.

‘Just like
you’re
just a man, Eddie. A man who saw a girl he wanted and couldn’t wait to jump in bed with her.’ She raised an eyebrow, expecting him to laugh, but he didn’t.

‘This isn’t something I do often. I’m not... I don’t...’

‘You don’t what? Have sex with women you find attractive?’

‘Find myself attracted to a woman so much I can’t keep my hands off her. I’m usually better at controlling myself.’

Heat rushed to her face. He couldn’t control himself around her? That made her sit a little higher.

‘Earlier, behind the stairs, you lost control then, didn’t you?’

The darkness made her bolder. She could see the shadows of his face in the moonlight but his face seemed softer, and it felt as if there were only the two of them in the entire universe.

‘I’m sorry about that, Olivia.’

‘Sorry? Are you crazy? That was the best time of my life. I mean—one of them. The time in the shower was pretty hot, and then earlier—when you swung me around—that was...’ She rolled her eyes, remembering the way he’d seemed even bigger and throbbed even harder from that position.

She had to shift. Beneath the sheets she was completely naked; it would take no time for him to be inside her again.

‘But you were upset.’

Olivia stopped. Upset? Yes, she had been. But not because he couldn’t control himself.

‘I was a bit emotional. Because it was so good. And you... I never thought you... I mean that you and me...’ She met his eyes and they were watching her. Waiting for an answer. She saw something vulnerable in them and realised he felt bad about before because he thought he’d hurt her. ‘I wasn’t upset. I was happy. Happy you wanted me as much as I wanted you.’

‘Of course I wanted you. Didn’t I make that clear?’

‘No. Yes.’ She realised she’d second-guessed him. She spent too much time imagining what he thought instead of listening to what he said. ‘I didn’t get it. But I do now. I know what you want now.’

‘Good. Because I want more of it.’

His eyes were dark and his face moved closer. His scent was everywhere. On the sheets, in the air, on her skin. He enveloped her.

‘But only one night.’ Olivia was guarding her heart. She needed to hear from him now if this wasn’t going anywhere.

His forehead furrowed. ‘There’s something between us, Olivia. A chemistry that doesn’t happen often. I was trying to resist it.’

‘Why?’

He looked surprised.

‘Because you’re...vulnerable. And you’re easily spooked. And you need someone who’s going to treat you right.’

‘You make me sound like someone who can’t take care of herself.’

‘Everyone needs a little bit of help. There’s no shame in admitting that.’

‘What about you? Do
you
need help?’

‘No. I am a freak of nature and need no one else.’

‘What about James? Did he need help?’