Confessions of a Bad Bridesmaid (15 page)

TWENTY-SIX

There was something
wrong with the plane. Something about wing damage and incorrect airflow from South America. Whatever it was it sounded serious. And stupid. So very stupid. Just as she felt. So incredibly stupid.

It would take a long time to get over Edward. But she had to get over him. She had to pick herself up and move on. But all she wanted to do right now was get the hell out of this place. This weekend had become a car crash. She’d been humiliated, ridiculed and tortured.

And she’d fallen in love.

She stepped backwards, away from the counter, and bumped into the man standing behind her. He apologised and she stared at him blankly. He stepped back and averted his eyes awkwardly.

She was going mad. Stark, raving bonkers.

Love? She wasn’t in love.

But then she remembered the way he’d made her feel. And the way he’d looked at her, as if she was beautiful. And she remembered the way she’d wanted to be there for him when he’d mentioned James at dinner. The way she’d wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be all right.

‘There has to be a flight going to Australia somehow. Maybe I could get something to Asia and change there?’

The very large woman in a tight pink dress shook her bouncy curls at her. ‘Sorry, luv. It’s too late now. But we’ll have something in the morning for you.’

One more night. One more night before she could be out of here and away from this nightmare.

With a sigh, she checked her phone and found a B&B about half an hour’s drive south of Heathrow, then went out to the front to hail a taxi. She hadn’t worn her ridiculous boots this time, but her tower of bags was still heavy as she dragged it across the shiny tiles of the airport. Once outside, she wrapped her fluffy coat tight and stood impatiently in the cold queue to wait for a taxi.

‘Olivia.’

Olivia didn’t turn around. She just froze. Solid. That voice. That deep English voice laced with gravel. The voice that had turned her to mush last night when it had told her she was beautiful. Now that voice made her feel weak and anxious and a little bit sick. Slowly, she turned.

‘What are you doing here, Edward?’

‘Looking for you.’

He was here.

‘Why?’ Her heart hammered. He didn’t move but stood watching her. He had on his dark grey coat and his red scarf. His ebony hair flopped over his forehead and his deep, dark eyes transfixed her.

‘You said you wanted to stay.’

Olivia had to remind herself to breathe.

Edward was here.

Tears stung her eyes and something sad pierced her heart. Edward. The man who had seen beneath her make-up to what was underneath. And still wanted her anyway. Desperate longing tugged at her, but she stood still, rooted to the spot. He was here. He’d come. But he didn’t want her to stay.

‘I made a mistake. It was just one night.’

‘Next up, luv, move along!’

The taxi queue shuffled and Olivia awkwardly lifted her bags to move along with it. In seconds Edward was by her side—lifting her bags and setting them down ten inches from where they were.

‘Olivia, we need to talk. I need to explain.’

Olivia wondered why he’d come down here to go through all this again. It was over and he was done. But if he was done, why was he here? Perhaps he was worried about how she felt. She wanted to hate him. But she couldn’t. Because he was nice. And kind. And thoughtful and sweet and the sexiest damn man she’d ever seen.

A layer of stubble had spread across his jaw. Olivia wanted to touch it. She wanted to feel it rubbing across her skin.
Stop!
She couldn’t think like that. It was over. It couldn’t go anywhere. It was just one weekend.

‘You didn’t have to come down here, Edward. I get it. I’m not upset, really. I just thought that...’ She shook her head. She hadn’t blow-dried her hair this morning, and it was a bit frizzy and crazy, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t looking anyway. ‘It doesn’t matter. I just want to get home.’

She turned away from him, because she wasn’t sure she could look into those beautiful dark eyes any longer without crying. And she didn’t want to cry in front of him.

The cold wind that was whipping past her suddenly ceased. She felt the warmth of his big body at her back and then his hot breath on her ear. She breathed him in. Soap and man. A scent that was now so familiar to her it was as if it had always been there.

‘Don’t go.’

She was convinced she hadn’t heard him right.

‘What did you say?’ she asked as she spun around. He was close, mere inches from her face, but he didn’t touch her. His dark gaze grew darker and his eyes held her still.

‘I said don’t go. Stay.’

‘Stay?’

‘Stay.’

Olivia drew in a ragged breath. Her brain was shifting inside her head.

‘Stay, Olivia. Stay here. Stay with me.’

Olivia stepped back, away from his scent and his overpowering physical presence. It was too much.
He
was too much. He didn’t want her to stay. He’d find out she wasn’t interesting and she wasn’t funny and she wasn’t as beautiful as he’d thought she was. Then he’d leave. They always left.

‘I’m not staying.’

‘Why not?’

He stepped closer again and all the oxygen in the air evaporated. He was too big and too close and too potent. She couldn’t breathe.

‘I don’t want to stay.’

‘I can’t give up on you that easily, Olivia. I can’t give up on us.’

His words were like a balm, but she hardened her heart. This wouldn’t last. ‘I wasn’t thinking straight this morning, Edward. I was tired and hungry. It isn’t anything to do with you. I don’t do...relationships. I just get too...too...’

‘Scared. I know. I know you’re scared. I know that’s why you’re running. I’ll let you in on a secret.’

A half-smile tipped his mouth and Olivia’s heart fell to the floor. Her hands hung loosely down at her sides but she longed to touch him. She wanted to feel his hard chest and his soft lips on hers. She wanted to feel the rough abrasion of his stubble against her top lip. She wanted to kiss the damn freckle just underneath his mouth which drove her wild. But she didn’t move.

‘I’m scared too. Scared of you. Of this. Of what I feel for you. I’ve never been like this before. Out of control and desperate. Desperate to see you.’

Olivia’s breaths were short and sharp. He was desperate to see her?

She studied his face. His cheeks were slashed with pink, his hair was falling across his lined forehead and his dark eyes were almost black. He looked down at her, still not touching her. A steady beat pounded through the veins in her neck.

He felt the same way she did and fear clutched at her heart. This wasn’t some one-night stand. This wasn’t a casual fling. This was real. He was really here, wanting her as much as she wanted him.

‘The truth is, Olivia,’ he said quietly, ‘I know we’ve only just met but—it feels like I’ve known you for ever. And if you leave me it’ll hurt...right here.’ He laid his palm on his chest.

If there was ever a time Olivia had needed a paper bag—this was it.

‘You said I won’t fit in to your life.’

‘I don’t want you to get bored. I don’t want you to lose interest.’

‘Me? Lose interest?’ Was he mad? ‘It’s you who will lose interest. In me.’

He moved closer so her breasts now brushed his hard chest. He lifted a hand and moved a piece of hair from her face.

‘Olivia, I love your hair and I love your short dresses and your sparkles and your gorgeous lips...’ He paused to breathe, looking directly at her mouth. ‘I love the way you say out loud what you’re thinking. I love the way you get it wrong and you fall over and then get back up again. I love the way you touch me and the way you kiss me. And I love the way you smile. You have a beautiful smile.’

Olivia’s heart whispered, and something buried inside her struggled to get out. The feeling took over her entire body and she couldn’t think. His words washed over her, flooding her veins with their intensity.

‘How could I ever lose interest in you?’

His lips were so close. His hot breath warmed her mouth and she swayed towards him.

‘You will.’ Her heart pounded and her head swam. ‘I’m not beautiful and talented and perfect. I’m not the right girl for you, Edward. You need someone more...steady. Someone who can be in a relationship for more than one weekend.’

‘
You
are what I need.’

His voice rose and it made Olivia step back. His eyes flashed and she saw something she hadn’t ever seen in him. Raw emotion. She watched as he breathed in and out and something simmered in him.

‘You were right. This weekend was life-changing. This weekend meant something to me and I thought it meant something to you too.’

It had meant everything to her. It had changed her life.

‘Edward. You...you made me feel something I’d never felt before. You made me feel like I was everything to someone. You made me feel like I was beautiful. I’ll never forget you. I’ll never forget how you made me feel.’

Olivia’s heart hurt as if it had been slashed with a knife. He didn’t understand. Love... Love was something she’d never have. He’d grow tired and she’d be heartbroken. She had to protect herself.

‘But don’t you understand? When I’m with you I want something I know I can’t have.’ Olivia couldn’t look at him any more. She blinked and breathed in deeply. ‘You take on all the responsibility, you take on all the blame, but you never let anyone in. Not really. You hover and help and worry, but you never let yourself fall. And the problem is I wanted you to fall. Deeply, ridiculously in love...with
me
. But we have to be honest. Some people are not cut out for love.’

Edward’s eyes were shining. His big body moved slightly closer and Olivia couldn’t breathe for a second. She couldn’t take it all in. His eyes, his stubbled jaw, that freckle. His heat, his scent—it was everything she wanted. And it was out of her reach.

His eyes travelled across her face and paused at her lips, then his eyes locked on hers.

‘You’re wrong.’

Olivia pushed her forehead into a frown. ‘When I told you I wanted to stay you pushed me away. You broke my heart, Edward. I can’t let you do that again.’

Hearing the words come out of her mouth made Olivia’s heart ache. Tears threatened her eyes. She wanted him. More than anything or anyone. She desperately wanted to throw herself into his arms. But she was so tired and so broken she just didn’t know if she’d be able to recover if he let her down.

His eyes grew sad again and his mouth turned down into a frown.

‘Olivia, I’m sorry. I was...confused and frustrated. I’ve never felt like this before.’

He stepped away and Olivia felt the chill of the air again.

‘You’re right. You should go. If that’s what you want. If you need time to think, or if you don’t want this. It’s up to you. It’s your decision.’

Her decision? Her life had always depended on others. Her sister, her friends... She’d never been able to make a choice that was just for her. Until now. Until Edward had stood in front of her making her feel wanted and desired and everything to someone. Just as he was everything to her.

The bubble returned. The one in which there was only him and her and the rest of the world fell away.

‘I just need you to know that I love you, Olivia, and I will for ever.’

‘Edward...’

‘I love you.’

His words were rough and raw and sincere. He was trying to make her understand. And she stopped and finally listened.

‘You...you love me?’

‘Desperately. Ridiculously.’

A shaft of light shot through Olivia’s brain. This wasn’t just talk any more. This was serious. He was close and he smelled divine and he’d just said he loved her.

‘I want more than a one-night stand, Eddie. I want more than a weekend. Can you really give me more?’

His lips parted. His eyes turned dark and his breathing changed.

‘I can give you much more.’

The wind blew Eddie’s hair and he looked wild. Out of control. His eyes hungry. He wanted her and he couldn’t control it. No one had ever felt that way about her. But he did.

Her heart seized when his lips fell gently onto hers. He moved slowly, his lips gentle, and she could feel him holding back. As if he was afraid to show her how he really felt.

She pulled back a little and he stopped and looked into her eyes.

‘I’m serious, Edward. If I stay—I stay. Do you really want that?’

His lips moved closer and she stopped him with a hand on his chest. His lovely, muscled, hard, hot chest.

‘I know I haven’t done this the right way. I should have taken it slower. I should have let you know how I felt before I took you to bed. But...’

He moved closer and his lips met her neck, but his hands still didn’t touch her. His restraint was driving her crazy.

‘I couldn’t wait. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you,’ he said roughly.

Olivia sucked in a ragged breath and lifted her head away from the feel of his rough jaw on her sensitive skin. She had to think. She had to tell him what she wanted before she lost every thought in her head.

‘Then you have to fix it. You have to call me and send me flowers and take me out to dinner and woo me.’

‘
Woo
you?’

His sexy smile was turning lethal. Olivia’s bones melted a little but she held strong.

‘Yes. Woo me. Woo the
hell
out of me.’

He sucked in a deep breath, then lifted his hand to trace her cheekbone. ‘Olivia, I want nothing more than to woo the hell out of you. You are going to be so sick of my wooing you’ll beg me to stop. But I won’t. I’ll woo you and woo you until you scream my name.’

Olivia had a sneaking suspicion his idea of wooing was a little different from hers.

His hand moved to the back of her head and pulled it in to meet his lips. His kiss was long and hard and deep and it left Olivia feeling faint. She didn’t care who saw. She wanted to rip her ridiculous coat off and have him on top of her right at the Heathrow Departures gate.

‘You deserve to be wooed, Olivia. Often. By someone who knows what they’re doing,’ he murmured gruffly into her hair before kissing her cheekbone softly.