Consolation (Consolation Duet #1) (13 page)

Jackson stands and heads over to the wall of pictures. “I would never let this take away from Aara. Mark and I will make sure of that. You just have to be honest with us and let us know.” He rubs his hand down his face. “If you take it, there are going to be some background and clearance things I’ll need you to do.”

Mark kicks his feet up on Jackson’s desk and gives a taunting look. “Don’t make Muffin suffer too long. He’s already starting to go grey.”

“Fuck off.”

“Do I get to referee you two?” I ask and slap Mark’s leg.

Mark laughs and drops his legs. “I always win.”

Jackson scoffs and walks behind us, slapping Mark in the back of the head. I swear these two are like children. It’s some kind of genetic tic they all have.

“Okay, if you think I’m the right person, Jackson, I’ll do whatever you need.”

Both of their demeanors shift slightly. I can feel the tension from both of them. “Lee,” Jackson says drawing my attention to him, “You’ll have access to a lot of information and files. Things that are locked on your computer now because of your clearance. When we do this, you’ll no longer be locked out.”

“Ummm, okay?”

“I don’t have any doubts you’ll get the clearance, so I want to tell you about one.”

Mark puts his hand on my shoulder, “It’s about Aaron.”

“What about Aaron?” I ask hesitantly. What could they possibly have in a file that I don’t know about? It was an IED . . . there’s not much else to have in a secret file.

Jackson sits on the edge of his desk and the serious look in his eyes scares me. “We’ve been investigating the attack on his vehicle. I think it was targeted.”

“Targeted how? I mean, who would target him?”

He grips the bridge of his nose and exhales. “Not him. I think they wanted to attack me. I don’t know. At this point, we don’t have much info, but there’s a file and I didn’t want you to find out about it from someone or some other way.”

“I don’t understand,” I say conflicted. I was told his death was just that—a death. It doesn’t make any sense as to why they’d be looking into it.

“Natalie,” Mark calls my attention to him. “No one kills a member of this team without us following up. There were issues with our supply drop. Aaron went out there to investigate and then he died. Then, we go out and Muff gets himself shot. It doesn’t add up.” The tone of his voice is commanding and yet still the Mark I know.

I should’ve known they weren’t going to let this go, and honestly, I’m glad. These are good men, honorable men who won’t let someone’s life go without having answers. However, this isn’t going to be easy for me. I’ve started to feel again, to live, and then this thing with Liam. Hell, I don’t even know if it is a thing.

“I’m not sure what to say.”

Jackson tilts forward, “I’m telling you that no member of this team gets killed and we just let it go lightly. Someone will pay for his death. Someone will pay for almost killing me. I didn’t want you to be blindsided.”

Every part of me wants to tell them to stop. To let it go because no matter what, it won’t change a thing. The cruel hands of fate have already slapped me once. I really don’t know if I can survive another round.

“Okay, I guess thanks for the heads up.” I battle with myself if I should ask for more information. If there is a file, then there is something inside of it. I’m not sure I have the restraint not to look. “Jackson?” I ask hesitantly.

“You want to know?”

“Yes and no. I just need to know if there’s anything in there I should know because I don’t know how much I can handle,” I respond honestly. My heart is pounding and my mouth goes dry as I wait.

Jackson and Mark look at each other and they both shift uncomfortably. Mark clears his throat, “All we know at this point is we think our company is being targeted. Also, we think they believed Jackson would be in that car.”

My hand flies to my chest and I gasp. “Why?” I stutter. “Why would anyone want to target you?” The words fly out of my mouth and I stand. These are my friends. This was my husband and my family that were caught in the crossfire.

“We don’t know, but we’ll find out. This isn’t something we’re going to drop.” Mark stands and pulls me into his arms. “He was one of us.”

I nod and step back. This is a lot to process and I’m not sure there is anything that will make this okay. Regardless, my husband was murdered, so finding out why, for me, is irrelevant. It won’t bring him back.

“Okay, let’s get to the meeting. I have a lot to think about and I want to be able to focus on work. I have to take tomorrow off to bring Aarabelle to the doctor for a follow-up.” Her appointment is later in the day tomorrow, but I want to spend some time with her since I feel like I’m missing out being back at work. Plus, I don’t want to talk about Aaron . . . not today.

We wrap up the rest of our meeting and go through some things that need to be done. I flop in my chair and spin so I’m looking out the window. What a clusterfuck this all is. My heart was starting to heal. I was finding a way to put one foot in front of the other without stumbling, but now I’m on shaky ground again.

My office phone rings, halting my inner turmoil.

“Hello, this is Natalie.”

“Hello, Natalie,” his gruff baritone voice causes my heart to falter.

“Hello, Liam,” I say as my lips turn up on their own accord. I sink into my chair and twirl the chord. Jesus, just him saying hello has reduced me to a teenage girl.

“What are you doing?”

“Working,” I reply sarcastically.

“Smart ass. I’m calling to ask you on a date.”

Liam’s been gone the last week. They had a training mission that required them to go to Florida. We haven’t spoken much while he was gone other than a few quick text messages, but I feel better about what happened between us. Reanell and I spoke at great length and she helped me see everything clearly.

Liam cares or he wouldn’t give me the space I need. He knows me after years of friendship, and also Aaron was his best friend. I don’t think he’s capable of tarnishing his memory. There’s not a part of Liam that wants to take my love that I shared with Aaron away.

“You are? A date?” I grin and bite my lip as I toy with him a little.

He laughs, “I am. Are you available?”

“I don’t have a babysitter. I kind of need a little more than a few hours’ notice, but maybe tomorrow.”

“Check your text messages,” Liam instructs.

“Ummm, okay.”

I grab my phone to check and sure enough, I have a text from Rea.

Hey, I’ve got Aarabelle tonight. Have fun. Have sex . . . or don’t, but you know, you could.

“Well?” Liam asks already knowing the answer.

“Huh, well, what do you know? A friend is abducting my daughter.”

“I’ll pick you up at seven.” Liam’s confidence is thick through his voice. Part of me wants to slap him, the other part wants to plant my lips against his again. “Oh, Natalie?” he asks and his voice is low and gravelly.

“Hmmm?”

“Wear a dress,” Liam says and then disconnects the call.

I shoot a quick text to Reanell.

It seems you’ve made a new friend.

It seems you’ve got yourself a boyfriend.

What are we, twelve? I don’t even know if people call them boyfriends. I mean, we’re not exclusive. Or maybe we are and I’m just stupid—which is possible. My palms start to sweat as I think about this. I’m not sure I’m ready to have a boyfriend.

No, we’re friends. He’s just taking me out.

Okay. Whatever you say. I’ll grab Aarabelle from the sitter’s on my way home. Have fun. Love you.

I love her so much. She’s the closest thing I have to a sister. She was there holding my hand when I delivered Aarabelle, she slept in my bed for three days when I found out Aaron died. I don’t know how I’d survive without her.

Love you more! I’ll call you tonight.

Or don’t. That could get awkward.

She’s crazy if she thinks that’s happening. Oh my God, what if that’s what I’m supposed to do?

I need a drink.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” Quinn stands at my truck giving me shit about going out with Natalie tonight. “Natalie Gilcher? As in your best friend’s
wife?
”

“Fuck off. It’s not like you think.”

He shakes his head and claps me on the shoulder. “You’re going on a date with Aaron’s wife. Let me know where I’m missing something. Because it seems crystal clear to me.”

I shrug him off. He has no room to talk since he was screwing one of our buddy’s wives, but apparently he has short-term memory loss. “Maybe we should talk to Bueno about missing something. You seemed to be awfully confused when you slipped your dick there.”

“I was drunk.” He steps back and shakes his head.

I’m not going to sit back and let him give me shit. I do that enough myself. I don’t want to be that guy. The one who fucks his boy’s wife. Shit, up until the last month, I never even looked at Natalie that way. It’s not like I was chasing her skirt when he was alive. We’re friends and it fucking happened.

“Whatever, man. I’m just saying don’t give me shit. I’m not doing anything wrong. We’re friends and I’m taking her out so she has a night away for once. It’s been nine months since he died.”

“Did you fuck her?”

I step forward and ball my fists. “Watch your fucking mouth.” First of all, it’s none of his damn business. Second of all, if that happens, I don’t plan on telling him. “If and when we do . . . it sure as shit won’t be fucking.”

Some of the team guys are worse than a bunch of women. I’ll have to listen to all their opinions and unsolicited advice. I don’t want to hear how either they agree or don’t. It’s not up to them. As far as I know, I’ll show up tonight and she’ll tell me to fuck off—which is quite possible.

Quinn shakes his head. “Be careful, man. That’s all I’m saying.”

“I’m always careful.”

“Yeah, well, this time you’re playing with fire. It’s not just some girl. It’s
his
girl and
his
kid.”

“I’m going to be kinda fucking obvious here, man. He’s dead. I’m not doing anything to tarnish his memory or life. He was
my
best friend. I would’ve gladly been in that Humvee when it was hit. I would’ve traded places with him in a heartbeat. Natalie and I are friends and there’s something there. So I’m not doing anything he would disapprove of,” I explain and he nods.

“I know you’re not like that, but I wouldn’t want my wife to marry another SEAL.”

“You’d have to find someone dumb enough to marry you first before you need to worry about that.” I try to diffuse the situation. I get that Quinn thinks he’s helping, but he doesn’t see it. He only sees what he wants right now.

“This would be true. And I’d have to give up one-night stands. I’m good.” He shakes my hand and laughs. “I’m going to the gym. I’ll talk to you later.”

“See you later.”

Tonight is going to be the first time I’ve seen her since we kissed. I tried to give her the lead. Let her text me first. I swear I lost my dick and grew a pussy. I’m doing the damn three-day shit. Ridiculous. I want to slap myself or pull my own man card. But she’s Natalie. She’s got a kid and she’s not some girl. I’ve known her forever. I was at her wedding for Chrissake. I can’t just jump the gun and go all caveman on her. She needs to feel in control.