Continental Divide (19 page)

“That doesn’t sound much like love,” Heaven
insisted. “It sounds like she really was a just a gold digger.” She
put her hands on her hips. “If Tanya didn’t have a better reason
than that, if I were you, I wouldn’t waste my time loving her,
thinking about her, or defending her. Did she have a better reason,
Imran?” Heaven asked ignoring Hamid’s warning to stay out of it.
This had gone on long enough. She wasn't staying out of it.

Imran studied Heaven for a moment then
closed his eyes as the knowledge of what Heaven was doing came to
him.

“Tanya did what she did for me. She didn’t
want me to give up my dream. She was trying to protect me from
acquiring her burden. Thanks, Heaven.”

“Then why have you been behaving like a
jackass if you knew this already?”

“It took your saying she hadn’t loved me I
supposed.” He smiled. “I am sorry, Heaven, for the way I’ve been
treating you.”

“I’m glad you said that. I was just that
much,” Heaven said snapping her finger together, “from kicking your
behind. Ask your cousin.” She glanced at Hamid and smiled. “Now, do
you want to stay for dinner?”

***

Tanya sat in her lawyer’s office. She’d
filed a complaint just as all the donors had done. No hope was
given to them. Jonathan Sandstone had apparently left the country
with all of their money. And in spite of Sara saying she was sorry,
she didn’t offer to give Tanya her money back. She could well
afford to lose that kind of money. Tanya couldn’t. She groaned
wondering how she’d given away all of her money. Now she had no
back up to take care of Lettie’s kids. She should have thought
about that.

“Tanya, I’m sorry, but you really have no
recourse other than to sue the organization.”

She thought for a moment of suing the
organization and all the people who’d lost money same as she had.
She bit her lip trying to let go of some of the anger and
disappointment, knowing she’d have to let it go. When you gave
money for a worthy cause you couldn’t do anything else. She’d
always maintained that stance with her tithes to the church. When
her friends would complain, she’d say it wasn’t her responsibility
to see to the spending of the money after it left her hand. She
gave for the glory of God, and in this she’d have to do the
same.

She gave in order for disadvantaged children
to have a shot at a more normal life. She wished now that she’d
given her money to a more established organization like SOS
village. They were doing the same thing. But she’d gotten carried
away with Sara’s concept and had wanted to be involved. She’d given
her money for a worthy cause.

Groaning, Tanya rocked her body slowly back
and forth and looked at her lawyer. She d given up Imran and still
didn’t have the dream.

***

“Damn! Snap!” Peaches said in disbelief.
“Why the hell would you give them all of that money?”

“He told me they needed it. Sara was already
getting suspicious but didn’t bother to tell me. Probably she
didn’t think I’d give him that much money. I hadn’t in the past, no
more than a few hundred dollars at a time.”

“Why doesn’t she give you your money back?”
Peaches asked.

“Because she didn’t take it.”

“But you got into this because of her. If
not for her, you would have never heard of the place, never gotten
involved. It’s her fault.”

Peaches indignation made Tanya smile and she
hugged her friend. “Thanks,” she said. “That’s what best friends
are for. You tell me I’m right even when I’m wrong and you blame
others for my mistakes. I’m a grown ass woman. I should have known
better. Believe me I tried to lay this all on Sara when I first
found out. I said the same things that you’re saying and trust me,
I believed I was right. But I’ve had some time to process it now.
And I know I can’t blame Sara. It’s not her fault that I’m not a
millionaire and couldn’t afford to lose that kind of money.”

Tanya shrugged. “It wasn’t like I was ever
going to see the money again. It was a gift. We’re just complaining
now because someone stole it. Damn,” she said. “I should have known
better, but I wanted to do it. I’m mostly sad that the project
isn’t going to go forward. A lot of people won’t bother to help out
anymore and I understand why. It’s the kids who’re going to suffer.
And me
, she thought, I gave up Imran partly for this pipe
dream

“What about Lettie and her kids? You’re
still helping them out, I know you are. What are you going to do?
You have nothing to fall back on.”

“I’m going to continue helping them out. And
I’m going to keep praying that the experimental drugs work. One
thing has nothing to do with the other.”

“Dag, Tann, don’t you wish now you’d not
told Hamid’s cousin that you didn’t want him? I bet right about now
you could use a man’s shoulder to cry on.”

She could definitely use a man’s arms to
hold her tight, but not any man. She thought of the smoky look in
Imran eyes before they made love and the way they changed after.
She stilled herself against the hurt that always came when she
allowed herself to think about him. She missed him like crazy.
Since returning home she’d not had the desire to go out with
another man let alone make love to one. It was almost as if Imran
had imprinted himself on her body and soul leaving her irrevocably
bound to him.

“Are you going to tell Heaven?” Sassa
asked.

Tanya glared at Sassa and waited for the
loud music in the blues club to stop for a moment. Sassa was known
for running his mouth. She wanted to make sure that he didn’t go
running to Hamid or Imran telling them what had happened. She
didn’t want Imran running to Chicago to attempt to rescue her. If
he did right now she might just let him. No, she still couldn’t let
him do that. She’d tell Heaven in her own good time.

***

It was almost three months later before
Tanya felt up to telling Heaven about the chain of events in her
life. She’d not told her initially because of the real possibility
of Heaven spilling the beans to Imran. Then she’d not told her
because she knew Heaven would want to ride in and save the day. She
didn’t want her friend saving the day, not this time.

“Heaven, I’ve saved almost five hundred
dollars in the three months since it happened, Tanya attempted to
soothe her friend.

“Did you tell Peaches and Ongela?”

“Yeah I did… but….”

“But what? They’re your friends and I’m
not?”

Tanya sighed. “You know it’s not like that,
Heaven. But come on we both know how you are. You would have sent
me a check for the money the moment I was off the phone.”

“And why are you so sure I won’t do it
now?”

“Because now I’m not crying and stressing
out about it. Now I’m just thinking that shit happens and my life
isn’t over, far from it. And since I’m talking with some sense, I
know you can respect that. The fact that I’ve managed to save some
money tells you that I’m okay. Right?”

Heaven sighed. “Tanya, don’t worry. I’ll
respect your wishes. I hate it though that you have started
thinking you can’t tell me things. If I had been home you would
have told me when you told the others. I don’t like that my being
here in Pakistan has changed things between us.”

“Heaven, that’s not what changed things. And
this time I’m not jealous when I say this. Your now being a
millionaire is what changed things. I’ve used you for almost two
years to help me out of jams, to buy things for the center and for
the kids. I told you I wanted to stop doing that. I told Peaches
and Ongela because they have no money. They can’t do anything but
feel bad for me and that’s cool. That was all that I needed. That’s
all I need now. I love you, Heaven. Give Hamid a big juicy kiss for
me and kiss the baby. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Hold on don’t go rushing me off the phone.
What’s happening with Lettie?”

“She has her good days and her bad days.
Thank God the good days are beginning to out number the bad days.
We’re all keeping our fingers crossed that the experimental drugs
will work. So far, so good. Just keep her in your prayers.”

“I’m keeping all of you in my prayers. Good
bye, Tann. I’ll talk to you later.”

Tanya sighed when she hung up the phone,
feeling a weight lift from her chest. She’d felt bad about not
telling Heaven what was going on in her life. She’d not intended
that her friend feel left out, but this was something she’d had to
do alone.

***

Heaven hung up the phone and turned in time
to see Hamid and Imran holding Tsukama watching her. She swiped her
lips with her tongue knowing they’d heard her conversation and
tried hard to think of a convincing lie.

Hamid was giving her a warning glare. She
shrugged her shoulders and turned away to walk toward the
kitchen.

“Heaven, what’s going on? What’s wrong with
Tanya? What happened to her?”

She put water on for tea and fussed with the
cabinets, wasting time, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to
betray Tanya. Imran was one of the main reasons Tanya had not told
her what had happened. Heaven knew that without Tanya telling her.
“Nothing’s going on,” Heaven said at last and brought out a bowl of
fruit from the refrigerator.

“Heaven, we heard you. You were panicked and
angry and you called Tanya by name. Don’t lie and deny it.”

Oh no he didn’t just call me a liar
.
Hell no! “Who the hell do you think you are, Imran? Don’t you dare
talk to me like that if you know what’s good for you. You have no
business listening to my damn conversation.” Heaven was pissed. She
threw the tea kettle into the sink making a loud clanging noise
startling the baby. When he began to cry she went and took him from
Imran. “Give me my son,” she hissed between clenched teeth.

“Heaven, please,” Imran pleaded.

“Go to hell,” she answered.

Imran turned in confusion toward Hamid.
“I’ve never seen this side of her. I’ve never heard her talk in
this manner.”

“You’ve never pissed her off,” Hamid
laughed. “I should have warned you that Heaven has a fiery temper
when riled. She has quite a mouth on her when she’s angry, much
like Tanya has all the time,” Hamid finished.

“Ah, so Tanya told Heaven what I said and
Heaven told you.” Imran looked toward the nursery where Heaven had
gone with the baby. “Hamid, can you get her to tell you if Tanya is
in trouble. I need to know.”

“I thought you were over Tanya.”

“Don’t be a fool. I love her. I bound myself
to her. Now would you please make nice with your wife and find out
what I need to know?”

Twenty minutes later Hamid had not had much
luck. Imran poked his head in the nursery door. “Heaven, I’m sorry
for behaving so badly and for listening in on your conversation.
Please won’t you forgive me and tell me what’s going on with
Tanya?”

When she’d finally forgiven him and told him
what had happened she still refused to give him Tanya’s phone
number and her address.

“Stop it. This is enough, Heaven.” Hamid
marched to the kitchen, opened a drawer and pulled out Heaven’s
personal phone book holding her away as she hit at him to try and
take it away. He wrote the information on a piece of paper and
passed it over Heaven’s head to his cousin.

“I said for you to stop it, Heaven. This is
nonsense and I refuse to tolerate it anymore. You started this
matchmaking business when I told you to stay out of it. This is no
longer just your concern. Imran loves Tanya and he deserves to be
able to talk to her and assure himself that all is well with her. I
would do no less if it were you.”

Imran shook his head. “I’m not calling,” he
said to his surprised cousin. “I’m going to Chicago. I’m going to
see for myself that Tanya’s well. And I’m going to tell her again
that I love her. I’ve decided that she was correct in what she did
six months ago. A lot of my love was based on our passion. That is
not the case now. I love her and lust has nothing to do with it.
Just do me a favor and not tell her that I’m coming.” He glanced at
Heaven who was glaring at Hamid. “Please, Heaven,” he begged.

“Don’t worry, Imran. My wife will keep her
pretty nose out of it this time.”

As Imran left the home of his cousin he
laughed. Life was really strange he decided. For the two years
Heaven had been in Pakistan, Imran had thought both Hamid and
Heaven to be two different people. He’d thought Heaven had taken
all of the fire out of Hamid because of his great love for her. And
as for Heaven, he’d seen this mild mannered, smiling, always
cheerful woman. Tanya had been right after all. He thought of all
the wrong misconceptions he’d made about Tanya. Yes, she was a loud
mouth party girl and used foul language. But she was his loud mouth
party girl and he loved her. She’d gone through hell without him
and he’d gone through hell without her. Now he was going to go and
claim her, something he should have done six months before. No
matter, Imran thought as the dialed the phone and made
reservations.

***

One week later Imran was in a taxi heading
for Tanya’s apartment. He’d talked with Hamid and had found that
when Hamid had surprised Heaven she’d been unable to hide her
feelings for him. He was hoping the element of surprise would work
equally as well for him also. He blew out a breath and said a quick
heartfelt prayer to Allah for success. Then he rang the bell.

When Tanya asked who it was he didn’t answer
just rang the bell again.

“Get the hell off my bell,” Tanya
bellowed.

Imran pushed the buzzer again.

“Do it again and I’m going to come down and
squirt pepper spray in your face,” Tanya’s angry voice blasted over
the intercom. “Now get away from my damn buzzer.”

Again Imran rang the bell and moved back as
he heard angry footsteps running down the stairs.
Silly
woman
, he thought. If I were a criminal I could have a gun to
counteract her pepper spray. He’d have to reprimand her about her
foolhardy ways. Thinking of the pepper spray he moved to the
outside door and waited.