Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (67 page)

…be interested in your friends’ interests

…be compassionate about your friends’ concerns

“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm…A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity”

(P
ROVERBS
13:20; 17:17).

T
Trust your future to God. As you do so…

…lay down your emotions—feelings follow thinking, so learn to think the way God thinks through studying and memorizing Scripture.

…lay down your will—give up having to have things your way. Instead, seek God’s will.

…lay down your expectations—allow the Holy Spirit to direct your aspirations.

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers”

(1 J
OHN
3:16).

“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”

(M
ATTHEW
6:33).

If you are single—for whatever length of time—God plans to use this time significantly in your life. Bloom where you are planted…now!

—JH

Psalm 138:8

Philippians 4:11

Colossians 2:9-10

James 4:8

Matthew 28:20

1 Corinthians 7:35

Philippians 4:13

Jeremiah 10:23

Isaiah 54:5

Philippians 4:6

For additional guidance on this topic, see also
Adultery, Anger, Codependency, Critical Spirit, Dating, Decision Making, Depression, Dysfunctional Family, Fear, Financial Freedom, Forgiveness, Grief Recovery, Guilt, Homosexuality, Hope, Identity, Manipulation, Marriage, Overeating, Parenting, Pregnancy…Unplanned, Prejudice, Premarital Counseling, Rape Recovery, Reconciliation, Rejection, Self-worth, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Integrity, Stress Management, Victimization, Worry
.

A
re you at the breaking point? Feel like you’re simmering just under the surface and ready to crack? While stress can serve as
positive
pressure that results in motivation and movement, it oftentimes is
negative
pressure that derails you into ditches of distress, danger, or destruction.
¹
Be encouraged that with God you can discover both peace and rest…no matter what the stressful circumstance.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”

(M
ATTHEW
11:28-30).

Stage 1: No Light

When there is “negative” demoralizing stress, a person…

— avoids responsibility

— has poor relationships

— is not productive

— has no energy

— experiences depression

— has no purpose

— lacks perspective on life

Stage 2: Green Light

When there is “positive” motivating stress, a person…

— faces responsibility

— has responsible relationships

— is productive

— is energetic

— is enthusiastic

— has fulfillment of purpose

— has a positive perspective

Stage 3: Yellow Light

When there is continual stress over a period of time, it will manifest itself in physical warning signs. Such warning signs are like amber lights on a traffic signal, which caution you to be alert, slow down, and be prepared for upcoming change. Physical warning signs of stress can include…

— tension headaches

— muscle aches

— heavy sighing

— high blood pressure

— ulcers

— hyper-alertness

— loss of sleep/excessive sleep

— lack of concentration

— indecisiveness

— irritability

Stage 4: Red Light

When stress is not processed, burnout occurs, which is not God’s will for us. When a person has not processed the stresses of life in a godly way, that person lives at Stage 2, experiences burnout, and becomes…

— overwhelmed by responsibility

— withdrawn from relationships

— minimally productive

— depressed (lack of enthusiasm)

— purposeless

— without perspective

— easily fatigued

— lacking in ability to concentrate

— indecisive

— irritable

“A man may be chastened on a bed of pain with constant distress in his bones”

(J
OB
33:19).

Here are some of the many signs of burnout:

I have difficulty relaxing.

I have a tightness in my neck and shoulders.

I have lower-back pain.

I feel tired and lifeless most of the time.

I have frequent severe headaches.

I get indigestion often.

I have diarrhea or constipation often.