Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (71 page)

God’s Promise

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”

(1 T
HESSALONIANS
5:18).

Prayer

“Thank You, God, for reminding me to give thanks in all circumstances. Help me to trust You with Your plans for my life.”

“Secretly, I am afraid to have hope. What if I begin to hope, then nothing really changes?”

God’s Promise

“We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us”

(R
OMANS
5:2-5).

Prayer

“Thank You, God. I will choose to trust You and put my hope in You. I will not trust in things as they seem to be, but will hope in the unseen power of Your love.”

— Take all talk of death and suicide seriously.

— Ask the direct question, “Are you thinking about suicide?”

— Express your concern.

— Seek to find out what problem is causing the pain.

— Ask, “How have you been coping with the pain?”

“The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out”

(P
ROVERBS
20:5).

— Acknowledge the fact that life is hard.

— Point out that choices in life often consist of unpleasant possibilities.

— List possible options on a sheet of paper.

— Rank the options in order of preference.

— Communicate God’s purposes for suffering. One purpose, for example, is compassion: “Many people are hurting in the same way you are. They feel desperately alone and assume that no one understands their pain. You know what it is like to experience such hurt. Your personal pain enables you to have a ministry of compassion. You are being prepared right now to be a lifeline of hope for someone else who feels hopeless.”

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it”

(1 C
ORINTHIANS
10:13).

— Build a relationship by showing your care and willingness to help.

— Ask if the person would be willing to make a contract with you: “Will you promise that if you are considering harming yourself, you will talk with me before doing anything?”

— Be sure to obtain a signature.

— Make a commitment to stay in contact.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ”

(G
ALATIANS
6:2).

— Encourage the person to have a physical checkup.

— Seek a trained counselor or therapist.

— Call a minister.

— Contact the Suicide Crisis Center.

— Help make arrangements for hospitalization.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed”

(P
ROVERBS
15:22).

The following is a solemn binding contract. This contract cannot be declared null and void without the written agreement of both parties.

I promise that if I should consider harming myself, I will talk with you before I do anything destructive.

I sign my name as a pledge of my integrity.

Signature ___________________ Date ____________

Signature ___________________ Date ____________

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure”

(H
EBREWS
6:19).

The true goal of suicide is not the absence of life, but the absence of pain. The true goal of Christ is salvation—to save you not from your pain, but for life…His life in you, His joy filling you, His hope securing you.

—JH

Psalm 43:5

Psalm 34:18

Psalm 147:3

Psalm 27:13-14

Proverbs 3:5-6

Proverbs 23:18

Isaiah 41:10

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Philippians 4:13

Jeremiah 29:11

For additional guidance on this topic, see also
Anger, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Crisis Intervention, Decision Making, Depression, Evil and Suffering…Why?, Fear, Financial Freedom, Grief Recovery, Guilt, Hope, Identity, Phobias, Rejection, Salvation, Self-worth, Stress Management, Victimization, Worry
.

Y
ou’re worthless!” “You’ll never amount to anything!” “I wish you had never been born!” Words like these can wound, tripping you into a ditch of doubt and defeat for a lifetime.

Maybe control is the name of the game. Threats such as, “If you leave me, I’ll hurt the children!” or “I’ll take the keys away from you!” are both emotionally and verbally abusive and are ways of maintaining control in relationships.

Abuse also can be perpetrated without a word—with degrading looks, obscene gestures, or threatening behaviors. Such abuse can make you feel worthless until you look to the truth in Jesus’ words from Luke 12:6-7:

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen”

(E
PHESIANS
4:29).

Abuse can be subtle or blatant, quiet or loud, smooth or abrasive. Whether verbal or nonverbal in delivery, abuse always deeply impacts an individual’s personal and social life.

“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit”

(P
ROVERBS
15:4).

Loss of…

— self-worth, increased self-doubt

— self-confidence, increased self-consciousness

— self-perception, increased self-criticism

— happiness, increased emotional flatness

— freedom, increased vigilance

— inner peace, increased peace-at-all-cost behavior

— self-assurance, increased anxiety

— security, increased desire to escape

— trust, increased distrust

— sexual identity, increased sexual confusion

— a clear conscience, increased guilt or shame

— friendship, increased isolation

— faith, increased fear

— safety, increased insecurity

— self-respect, increased self-destruction

— optimism, increased pessimism

— pride, increased self-hatred

— hope, increased despair

Place a check (√) by any that apply to you.

“I feel defective.”

“I am bad if I feel angry.”