Counting the Days (6 page)

When Danny left the room to use the bathroom, Sheila bent over and whispered quietly, “Marilyn, honey, I’ve known Danny since we were kids and he will only get worst if you lie and cover up for him. I’ve watched him abuse woman after woman, year after year. He promised me that he changed, but apparently that’s not so. I’ve stayed quiet for too long, but not anymore. Please…listen to me…Danny has in the past pushed his women around. Take my advice and run for the hills far away from this man and don’t look back.”

The rest of the evening Sheila’s words kept rewinding themselves in my head. Danny and Sheila conversed about anything and everything, but all I heard was grumbling, not conversation. I don’t know why I’m torturing myself, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I know him better than she does and she’s wrong about him. It doesn’t matter if they grew up together, I know him on an intimate level. She’s just jealous. I wonder if Danny knows what kind of backstabber she is. Look at her, she’s constantly telling Danny to back off, but I know that she doesn’t mean it. Look at the way she’s dressed. All she’s had on all night is a bikini top, a thong and a sarong. Pretty scantily dressed for a girl who isn’t trying to turn a guy on. I mean, let’s get real, Danny’s a guy…of course he’s going to be overly zealous and handsy around a half naked girl. If anything, she should have changed into something less revealing. She’s just being a flirt, but I’ve got her number. You just push her nonsense talk out of your head, girl.

Around 11pm, we exchanged our goodbyes and we left. On the way home I listened as Danny excitedly talked and laughed some more about the many antics that he and Sheila experienced when they were younger. When we got to my house, Danny had to help me out of the car, because at this point, I was beginning to feel extremely sore and was barely able to walk. Since my mother was at work, I asked Danny to help me into the house.

We sat in the family room for a while and watched a little television. At first, we held hands for a little bit and, before I knew it, we started kissing. I was feeling my passion rise, but I couldn’t help but cringe from my body pain. I didn’t want Danny to get the wrong idea, but my body was becoming non-functional very quickly, because my back and legs hurt so badly.

Realizing how much I was hurting, Danny excused himself a moment to get something from his car. When he returned he handed me a glass of water and a strange looking pill. “This doesn’t look like aspirin. What is it?” I asked.

“
It’s a pain killer. It’ll help you relax and get some sleep,” he said without batting an eye. I was so tense and definitely needed to relax, so I took the pill. Within seconds I began to feel its affects. I began feeling light headed and a little woozy. I could feel my whole body relaxing. It was a very nice and serene feeling. I felt like I was floating in a cloud as my body suddenly began to tingle all over.

I don’t remember how I got there, but I vaguely noticed that I was in my bed. Danny was sitting next to me and he began whispering something to me, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. Suddenly I felt passionate and amorously charged. Almost immediately a wave of heat came over me and my body began trembling with pleasure. My mind was so confused and out of it, but the pleasure was out of this world. Danny leaned in and began kissing me again. Passion began to rise inside of me again and abruptly he stopped kissing me whispering, “I think that I’m falling in love.” He gently kissed me goodnight and left.

I lay in the darkness of my room listening to the beat of my heart. Excitement ran throughout me. He was falling in love with me. Can you imagine that? I closed my eyes and all I could see was his face. After a while, I fell into a pleasurable slumber and dreamed of happy times to come.

“
Honey, get up,” my mother said gently shaking me, “You have a phone call.” She was standing over me trying to wake me up.

When I tried to sit up, pain seared through my back and I was also sore in my private area. My mother knew immediately that I was hurt and alarm was written quickly all over her face. “Mom, who is it?” I whispered. How did I get in my bed?

“
It’s Jenny.” She stared at me intently.

“
Tell her I’ll call back later,” I said as I tried to get up out of my bed. What happened last night? I can’t remember too clearly. Why am I really sore down there? I reached over into my nightstand and popped a few aspirin. I vaguely remember making out with Danny last night. Was Danny in my room with me last night? No, he couldn’t have been, I don’t remember coming upstairs with him last night. Put that stupid thought out of your mind. You were just dreaming.

My mother told Jenny that I would call her later and hung up the telephone. She could see that I was struggling, so she helped me sit up and propped up some pillows behind me. “Is there something you want to tell me, Marilyn?” She sat down on my bed next to me and moved my hair from in front of my eyes.

I wanted to tell her what happened while riding, but I couldn’t. I was too embarrassed and I couldn’t bear hearing ‘I told you so”. An assortment of feelings rushed over me. I couldn’t decide whether to scream or cry. “I had an accident yesterday while riding White Bullet…she tossed me off her.” I couldn’t look my mother straight in the face. If I had, she would have known in a New York minute that I was lying. Crying came easy, and let me tell you, at this point I just wanted to crawl into my mothers lap and cry for a little while.

“
What do you mean White Bullet tossed you? You’ve been riding that horse for years,” my mother said surprised and perplexed. “You grew up with that horse…she knows you very well. Did you tell Mr. Frank about the incident?”

Oh my goodness, I forgot about Mr. Frank, the ranch owner. His wife and my mother are good friends. For sure they will talk and mom will find out the truth. She was trying to get me to look her in her eyes, so I turned up the water works. She wrapped her arms around me and began stroking my hair. “I don’t know mom, she just threw me. She must’ve seen something and got spooked. I don’t know. If it wasn’t for Danny being there with me, I probably would have been out there all night long.” With the mention of Danny’s name, I could feel her tense up. She stopped stroking my hair and turned me toward her.

“
Honey, what’s going on? These days you’re fighting in bars and staying out all night long with boys. White Bullet throws you and you don’t even call me to let me know that you’re hurt. You’re all black and blue and beat up,” she paused and taking a deep breath continued, “I know that you had this boy in the house last night. Catherine told me this morning. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately. You’ve been changing and it all began when you met this boy.”

I know that my mother was being concerned, but I had to get her off my back, so I got defensive and replied nastily, “You have our neighbors spying on me. How dare you bring them into my business?”

“
Marilyn, please don’t start getting defensive, Catherine and I went for a jog this morning and she happened to mention to me that your boyfriend was here last night. That’s how I found out and, besides, you are my business.” She got up and sat down at my desk.

“
Well, if you need to know something, all you have to do is ask. I have never given you any reason not to trust me. I’ve always told you the truth about everything.” I swung my legs over the edge of my bed. Pain. Not a time to show that I was hurting. Keep a stiff upper lip and play it cool.

“
Marilyn, honey, I do trust you, but you are just out of high school. You’re young and new to this adult world. And everyone you meet is not going to be nice, guys especially. You’re going to start meeting all types of people. Some nice and some not so nice…your also going to meet some that seem nice, but are really creepy.”

“
Mom, Danny and I just watched a little television. That’s all. I know you saw all the throws on the couch. We watched movies. Big deal and, besides, I think he was only here for a little over an hour.” I slowly got up and walked over to my dresser. I pulled out a pair of shorts and a tank top. I tried walking more quickly as I headed for my bathroom. My entire body screamed out in pain. Once in the bathroom, I sat on the edge of my tub and slowly began getting dressed.

I could here my mother’s frustration on the other side of the bathroom door. She was pacing back and forth muttering under her breath. “Marilyn, a lot can happen in an hour,” she finally hollered through the door and continued, “Sweetheart, you know the rules. You are not allowed to bring boys into my home when I’m not here. You know better than that. I don’t know what’s gotten into you. Since you met this Danny, you’ve been using really poor judgment and now you’re even breaking the house rules.”

Man is she ever going to let me grow up or what? I came out of the bathroom and retorted, “Mom, please you have to understand…I’m not a little girl anymore and the sooner you get that through your head the better off we’ll both be. I didn’t do anything with Danny in this house. I can’t believe that you would even think that I would be that stupid.” I could see that I had touched a nerve and was about to go to a place that I have never been with my mother.

“
Marilyn, you need to remember who you’re talking to…I’m not one of your friends and you are crossing boundaries here. You will not have any boys in my home when I’m not here. That’s a rule that WILL NOT be broken. Do you understand me?” I could see in her face that she meant business, but that wasn’t going to stop me from ramming in my horns. We argued for quite a bit before things really took a turn toward ugly. If I had known that today was going to be the last time that I would see my mother for the next few years, maybe I would have given her a hug or something and maybe I would have stopped being a spoiled brat.

Let’s throw it all out there and get to the nitty gritty, “Why do you hate Danny so much? Why can’t you just be happy for me? You know, mom, I finally meet a nice guy and all you can do is nag, nag, nag.” I walked over and began to make my bed. The tears were flowing freely now.

“
Dear…I have to go by mother’s intuition and tell you that I don’t see anything good about this guy. He just doesn’t hit my gut right. This boy is no good and I have a feeling that deep down you know it too. Marilyn, talk to me please. Honey, what’s gotten into you?” She paused momentarily and asked, “What are you hiding?”

I continued cleaning my room as she followed my every move. “Forget it. You’ll never understand,” I said trying to avoid making eye contact with her.

She grabbed me and stared me straight in the face. “Honey, have any of these accidents, as you call them, have any of them happened because of him?”

I freed myself from her and sat down at my desk. I began putting my socks and shoes on and said, “Mom, please, you have to trust me and believe that I know what I’m doing.”

“
Marilyn, I do trust you, but I also can see that you’re hurting both physically and emotionally. You’re hiding something from me. I gave birth to you and I know you’re not telling me something,” she paused trying desperately to reason with me. “Honey, I was young once too. I remember what it felt like to be that much in love. When you’re that much in love, you feel like you’ll die without him. You can’t breathe, you can’t sleep, and you can’t eat, nothing. You’ll do anything it takes to keep this boy happy,” she said calmly as her body language pleaded with me. “Please, if he is hurting you or causing you to hurt yourself, you need help. Honey, I only hope that you would tell me.” Her eyes, those eyes, pleaded with me.

I looked her straight in the face and said, “Mom, Danny has not hurt me in any way. I love him, that’s all.”

She grabbed my right arm and showed me the huge bruise on it. “Is this how much Danny loves you?”

Nervously I pulled away from her and retorted a response. “You don’t know anything about him. He didn’t give me any of these bruises. He’s gentle and kind. And yes, he does love me. He makes me feel pretty and sexy. I don’t know why I’m bothering talking to you, you’ll never understand,” I paused and before she could say another word I went in for the kill, “Why do you have to be jealous of me? Why can’t you just be happy for me? I don’t know why I’m wasting my breath you don’t know anything about men. You could never keep any of your boyfriends happy. You always have to be so prim and proper, you’re like the ice queen, always so frigid, never loosening up. Everything has to be your way or the highway. Not one of all the guys you’ve had throughout the years would stay around, because you’re so stiff necked. You couldn’t even keep my father happy, he had to get it from somewhere else.”

My mother was totally caught off guard. I have never spoken to her like that ever before. I stared at her with anticipation. I didn’t know what to expect. I couldn’t move, I felt both afraid and exhilarated.

Finally, my mother regained her tongue and spoke the words that would forever change my life. “Leave my house this minute. Do not come back. Do not take anything except the clothes you’ve got on…the rest of it all belongs to me. Now, get out.”